Another week of summer came, and another week of summer went. I’ve been taking full advantage of the more relaxed schedule by spending way too many nights gaming until dawn. Well, that and digging around for entertaining screenshots for us to caption of course. Before we get to this week’s image I scrounged up, let’s recap the funnier submissions from the last Friday Caption Fun we did over the long Fourth of July holiday weekend.

• “It was the morning after the annual Bungie Day Bash when MC realized that beer before liquor does, in fact, get you drunk quicker.” (Reverendtik)
• “Chief was pretty depressed after not getting 1 billion dollars and infinite girlfriends for his birthday…” (Dusty Boy T)
• “The soldier was worried. Not only did he find that he had woken up with a traffic cone on his head, but more importantly… why did he have *two* assault rifles?” (Sane Intolerant)
• “What do you mean it looks dorky? It gives me +5 intelligence.” (retinence)
• “After years of spectacle, those who continually tried to earn Recon by getting ‘Cwned’ would end up on the streets with nothing but Mark V and a terrible addiction to plastic.” (XMixMasterX)
• “Timmy was never the sharpest energy sword in the barracks. But after stating in class that UNSC stood for “Uncle Newb’z Stinky Crack”, he got to spend some quality time with the dunce cap.” (Hoovaloov)
• “Red’s drinking problems proved that she truly could not handle the Rock-n-Roll lifestyle, and she was eliminated on Bret Michael’s Rock of Love before the first episode aired.” (MattDGiant)
• “In the future, bringing guns to school only warrants a few minutes of time-out with the Dunce Cap.” (Mintz)

Poor Chief, he looks so desolate. I’d give him a big hug if I didn’t think he would puke on me. Thankfully there is no sign of vomit in this week’s picture. I have titled this ridiculously cute screenshot “Greetings from the Top” but that’s so boring. I’m betting you can do better than me so tell me, what is your witty caption for it?

Author: Platoon Ranger

I just finished participating in the Guitar Hero III bracket of the Fragolympics Summer 2008. Twelve gaming communities were invited to participate in the event which spans six weeks and includes four different games with various competitions within each one. My community showed incredibly bad judgment by selecting yours truly to wield the not so lethal plastic guitar shaped controller. It was a weapon of destruction for my opponent but not so much for me unfortunately.

Our round was played on medium difficulty with each of us selecting two songs and then also playing one random predetermined song. I actually went temporarily blind this morning and was forced to play the songs by memory so taking that into consideration, I really didn’t do too bad. Ok, so maybe that’s a lie but I did go outside for a bit and look directly at the sun so I really couldn’t see that well. Ok, that’s a lie too but whatever. If you would like to see me go down in a blaze filled with absolutely no glory, I screen capped the entire experience for your sadistic pleasure. We didn’t have our mics plugged in so while there wasn’t any actual communication, I took the liberty of adding what I thought my opponent was thinking. Seriously, what a jerk.

I would like to take a moment to tell everybody that once I was at a bar and I participated in a Guitar Hero competition and I totally won. I even got a t-shirt. Yup. I am now going to go find that t-shirt, play Rock You Like a Hurricane at an ear-shattering volume, and sob hysterically until I feel better. If nobody hears from me the next few days, feel free to send out a search party. Just make sure they have plenty of tissues.

Coming this fall to an Xbox 360 near you are two different limited edition wireless controllers. Available in both red and green (apparently Microsoft thinks the holiday season is in September), each controller will be bundled with a Play & Charge Cable and a coordinating rechargeable battery pack. They will run you $64.99 apiece, which is the standard price for that particular combination of accessories. Maybe they’ll tease us with a super bad ass limited edition item for a while, let us get absolutely crazy with anticipation while we await the final details, and then cancel the formal announcement twelve hours before it is supposed to go down. Oh relax, I’m just kidding. Microsoft would never pull an asshole move like that.

With Microsoft’s announcement of the “New Xbox Experience” have come concerns over existing content in the form of gamerpics and themes. While details were fuzzy when they made their initial presentation, since then they have clarified several times over that both will still be usable with the new interface. Their design team did a few mock ups to show how your existing theme you’ve spent precious Microsoft Points on will work with the newly designed Dashboard. Keep in mind they are mock ups only so by definition an early sketch instead of a final version.

This letter penned by Harold Ryan has replaced the previous Bungie.net splash page that was rotating various cryptic messages with a timer that was set to expire tomorrow morning. Along with the appearance of the letter, the timer has since been frozen at 00:12:00:00. Speculation is running rampant over if the announcement has truly been canceled or if this is all part of the ever growing hype machine. Louis Wu has stated, “I can confirm, after speaking to more than one Bungie spokesperson, that this is no stunt, no joke. This is real, and they’re as unhappy about it as we are.”

When I initially found this machinima series that classifies itself as “Halo Horror”, I was more than a little skeptical. A horror short made completely from Halo 3 assets? Sure, we’ve seen a plethora of Halo-themed comedies, a fair share of dramas, and even a decent amount of educational videos. While a few people have taken a stab at the horror genre, unfortunately I haven’t seen one that didn’t fall straight on its face. Then came along this little gem titled “Feast”. It comes in two four minute segments and is more than worthy of watching in its entirety. The camera work is phenomenal, the audio is suitably disturbing, and it (in my opinion) successfully mimics many classic mandatory horror elements. The only thing missing is the gratuitous boob shots. Oh well, maybe next time. For now, grab some popcorn, turn your volume all the way up, and enjoy this creepy Halo horror flick.

Feast, Part 1

Feast, Part 2

Microsoft released an overwhelming wealth of information yesterday at their official E3 2008 press conference. Some of the announcements we were already aware of weeks before they took the stage. Others came as a complete and total surprise (Final Fantasy XIII anyone?). Despite exciting news like their newly formed partnership with Netflix and the (not necessarily wanted but will be forced to get anyways) redesigned Dashboard, gamers decided to focus their hate on one particular upcoming feature, the apparent unwelcome introduction of avatars. Taken from around the internet:

I hate the idea of avatars. I am not a casual gamer, I DON’T play in my living room. This is Microsoft’s worst possible idea.

This is not Innovation…It isn’t fresh…It is a Huge step backwards to your left, Right into Looney Ville.

The idea of marketing the 360 for a more child oriented base is sickening.

Xbox Avatars = me clawing my eyeballs out.

Who knew custom made digital representations of ourselves could fuel such hatred? Microsoft has already confirmed that the Xiis (see what I did there?) are optional and that our gamerpics will still be fully functional so hopefully the initial panic over potential wasted Microsoft points will pass quickly. I plan on withholding judgment until I am actually able to mess around with them and see exactly how and where they are used. What are your thoughts on the new avatars, the redesigned Dashboard, and everything else that Microsoft announced yesterday?