Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

Source [Kotaku]

Wondering what games are expected to hit store shelves next month? Here is what you can expect for the month of June, assuming there are no delays.

Grid - 06.03.08
Racing - Rated Everyone

Features (from IGN.com) :

Grid is a true evolution for Codemasters’ acclaimed racing series, which first appeared as the TOCA Touring Car games (1997–2000) and became the TOCA Race Driver series (2002-2006). Challenging players to become the number one race driver in a new world of exhilarating motorsport, Race Driver: Grid takes players on a tour like never before; to beautifully realized racing locations through Europe, the U.S., Japan and beyond. The game will feature the most extensive range of events in the series, combining official circuit-based championships with road races and urban street competitions.

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Double EXP weekend is back, and so is everybody’s favorite hammer wielding, no shield wearing, ball carrying, lag loving Spartan sport of explosive craziness. Hop onto Halo 3 anytime until 2am PDT Monday morning and you can enjoy the entertaining antics of Grifball while receiving a significant boost to your experience. The Spring League map variant is being used thus making it more difficult for those jerkfaces who enjoy escaping the map once they gain the lead because they can’t win any other way. In conjunction with the weekend’s festivities is a screenshot contest going on over at Grifball.com so check that out if you feel so inclined. Think you may see me in this temporary ravenous orange killing playlist? Clearly you don’t know me at all.

It’s Friday, and it’s hot! We seemed to skip the mild spring season and go straight to the blazing hot summer. While I spend my day holed away in the cool basement, I could use some entertainment. Before you caption this week’s screenshot, let’s recap last week’s hilarious captions. Out of nearly 200 submissions, these were my favorites.

• “After 1 day of being hired to re-design the latest MJOLNIR armor, Tony Stark was let go.” (-S-)
• “This leaked screenshot from an upcoming Halo 3 expansion pack shows yet another Bungie-only armor permeation.” (petetheduck)
• “What he did at the Halo 3 after party will echo through his life for years to come.” (aussie_spartan)
• “You should see the shape of the ammo!” (soulofaqua)
• “It’s plenty big, but how’s the… uh… “reload time”?” (Yellow Six)
• “Although it proved completely impractical in every combat scenario, the entire team agreed that the Mjolnir mark VII armor was totally awesome.” (T Robert T)

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In my opinion one of the most satisfying kills in Halo 3 is the one achieved by a spike grenade. There is nothing I love more than hearing the deliciously meaty sound of penetration and then watching the resulting shrapnel spewing destruction. That is why I desperately need this t-shirt I found on Cafe Press.

Purchase here : Cafe Press
Price : $17.99 and up

Available in a variety of styles, colors, and sizes, this spike grenade t-shirt perfectly depicts the feeling of watching one of those dreaded balls of fury come speeding toward your face. I think my teammates can probably relate considering my grenades are constantly flying in their general vicinity. Hey, it’s not my fault people step directly in front of me right when I throw one. You’d think they’d learn.

Sometimes you see images that are so incredibly horrendous that they remain permanently etched in the corners of your mind despite your best attempts to erase them. For some of you, Lemon Party is an example of that. For others, Tub Girl comes to mind. For me, it is these atrociously blinged handheld consoles. Someone make these traumatizing pictures go away. Please, I am begging you.

Source [Shiny Shiny]

If you have a thing for machinima, have always had a secret desire to be on Bungie’s favorites, or just enjoy the camaraderie of the Halo 3 community, reserve the fourth weekend of May for the third annual Red vs. Blue CanWest community event. Taking place in the beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, this Rooster Teeth machinima screening event has a plethora of activities going down on both Saturday, May 24th and Sunday, May 25th. Saturday’s festivities include a screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Sunday is the actual CanWest event (which is a mix of community and industry panels, selected machinima, and also some music). Of course bar festivities will round off both evenings for all interested attendees. A weekend pass for both days of activities will only run you a paltry $25 CND (the proceeds of which will be generously donated to everybody’s favorite gamer charity Child’s Play).

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Some people prefer their consoles to be furry and luxuriously soft to the touch. Other people desire something that closely resembles a large scaly reptile that resides in a freshwater environment. Xbox 360 modder dfwmonkie is clearly one of the latter. He created a custom alligator-themed Xbox 360, complete with a scary eyeball on the power button.

The making of the “got gator?” pictures are really quite interesting. Technabob reports that dfwmonkie “created the system’s scaly gator skin using hand-sculpted layers of Bondo, coated with paint and clear-coat to give it the glossy wet look.” Personally, this console reminds me of the Godzilla Size Does Matter poster. But I guess alligator works too.

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I am officially a Halo 3: Confirmed Kills slacker. I was completely unaware of the first three episodes, saw the fourth, missed the next three and luckily managed to catch this one. Apparently I am only capable of watching every fourth video in this series which is too bad because they really are quite entertaining. Comprised of Halo 3 gameplay clips ranging from average to lucky to completely bad ass, the play that comes in at #2 in this video is worth watching all of the other (sometimes boring) clips. If only my needler worked that well.

Do you find yourself losing intense beat down battles on a frequent basis? When staring straight into the scope of an enemy sniper, is your face always obliterated before you even have a chance to pull your trigger? After the initial double clashing of swords where neither person dies, does the other person usually kill you with that “B” button slash before you can even get your thumb on the same button? If any of these scenarios depict a situation you commonly find yourself in, perhaps your reaction-times are less than stellar. Now you can get your game back into tip top shape with this totally cool bionic hand looking contraption.

Called the Xtensor Gamer Hand Exerciser, the use of this product claims to make your reaction-times much quicker and also reduce the occurrence of those pesky hand cramps you get after a marathon session of gaming. “Repetitive gripping and squeezing of your game-controller or mouse forces extended isometric contractions of the flexor muscles of the hands and fingers producing an unnatural imbalance over time as the hands operate in a mostly closed position.” To counterbalance that, this device stimulates muscles and tendons in the hands, wrists and elbows that usually lie dormant during typical gaming activities. The Xtensor Gamer Hand Exerciser, the 2007 winner of the Medical Design Excellence Award, is available at ThinkGeek for $39.99 (plus shipping). I just want one so I can pretend I am the Bionic Woman.