Halo Drinking Games

What do you get when you mix one of your favorite video games, a group of rowdy friends, and a generous amount of alcohol? Many of us unruly types refer to that as a guaranteed good time. Bored stiff from the standard drink upon every death version, I have concocted a handful of gametype-specific drinking games intended to enhance your already pleasurable Halo experience. Grab your favorite libation, make sure you have a few buckets handy, and get ready for a scandalous evening of debauchery. And let’s just put it this way, these games are not suitable for Harrison’s mom. You’ve been warned.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you grab the flag and successfully capture it without dropping it a single time.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time you hear an incessant string of “flag stolen, flag dropped” announcements. Then stab your own eardrums.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you successfully beat an opponent down with the bomb.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time your team arms the bomb but the other team disarms it in one second flat. With only one person sitting on it.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you get a specific weapon spree (shotgun, sword, sniper, or splatter).
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time one of your teammates betrays you for said weapon. Then watch them not do a single thing with it.

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Land Grab Is a Form of Territories

To the hardworking and underappreciated Halo 3 Matchmaking Veto Gods,

I haven’t written to you in a while; as a matter of fact it’s been nine long months since I last deposited a note into your inbox. While I freely admit I am more than a little high maintenance, I do attempt to keep my complaining to a minimum. Lately though as I find myself in the same frustrating situation time and time again, I have watched my patience slowly wane until ultimately being consumed by anger. Thus I am back, again with the same simple request.

First I’d like to say that I recognize your job of choosing a second Halo 3 gametype after the initial selection is vetoed as being quite difficult. I don’t question that and I admire the blood, sweat, and tears you have poured into your work for the past several months. You still seem a little confused about something though so please allow me to make a few comparisons in order to assist in the clearing up of that haze. If you were to offer me a glass of red wine and I declined, your next suggestion would not be a Merlot. If you were to offer me a plate of calamari and I declined, your next suggestion would not be squid. If you were to offer me anal sex and I declined, your next suggestion would not be to stick your dick up my ass so STOP GIVING ME FUCKING LAND GRAB AFTER I VETO TERRITORIES! It’s essentially the same exact gametype, fucking sitting in a tiny ass spot for a torturously long time. If we were dogs that had to piss in order to capture the territories, timewise it would be equivalent to numerous morning pees and satisfactionwise similar to getting your right testicle bitten off by a psycho bitch of an ex-girlfriend.

In summary, I would appreciate you fixing your shit. Thank you much!

Hot Chicks with Master Chief

Chicks dig bad ass Spartan supersoldiers. Just ask anybody who has ever cosplayed as Master Chief. The following is an image collection of particularly attractive females who happily give Master Chief the respect and adoration he deserves. Think of it like Hot Chicks with Douchebags, except Master Chief is not a douchebag. Well, most of the time anyways.

He wears a helmet so you can’t see where he’s looking. Hint: down and to the right

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