Often recognized by their tent, fire, and permanently stationary status, campers are one of the most detested groups known to exist on the virtual battlefield. Frustrating because of both their infuriating tactics and your inability to stop running directly into their tried and true traps, some of us are a little more guilty of this particular scheme than others. Could you perhaps belong to this most loathsome accumulation of gamers? There’s only one way to find out! Here are the top ten signs that you may, in fact, be a camper.

• After getting a kill, you run around for exactly ten seconds (in case your victim is watching you on their death cam) before resuming your position.

• The only things you ever hear on proximity voice are, “That -blam- is still there!” and/or startled yelps of surprise.

• You have more flag stops and shotgun sprees than all your friends. Combined.

• Your Xbox Live bio reads, “It’s a legitimate strategy!” And you truly believe it is.

• You have callouts for every last corner of the base but have no clue where Pelican and horseshoe are.

• Your left thumbstick is always the first button to get worn out on your controller.

• You veto all single-objective games because leaving the base is out of your comfort zone.

• When you pick up the flame thrower, your friends ask if you’d like a bag of marshmallows to go with it.

• You miss both the excessive  amount of maulers on Narrows and the shotgun-friendly shield doors on Snowbound. The radar jammer however can go fuck itself.

• After reading this list, you are 100% confident you are not a camper; you just purposely put yourself in advantageous positions that play to your strengths. Again. And again. And again. And again.

It’s a well established fact that some people use Xbox Live as a dating service, focusing more on the potential real life score instead of the better chanced virtual game-related one. Unfortunately their verbal attempts are frequently recycled where you’ve heard them all before so I decided to draft some original Halo 3: ODST-themed pick-up lines to assist in attempts at scoring a Halo-obsessed girlfriend. These quirky quips will increase your chances tenfold! Or cause her to immediately disconnect. Definitely one or the other though.

If there were real life achievements, simply looking at you would unlock the Stunning! one.
Women loved to be given complements, even when it’s just the standard ones, but drop a word like stunning and they’re guaranteed to melt right before your eyes. Whether it’s from the impending laser or your words though, that will be left for you to decipher.

I know I’m not supposed to shoot anything pink, but yours looks a little too good to resist.
If you play this one right, you may not only have a shot at the pink but perhaps she’ll even grant you access to the stink. Or didn’t you know where the “Shock” in ODST originated from?

You know how the Rookie went down for Dare? Let’s just say I would gladly do the same for you.
The Rookie had to travel all the way to sub-level nine to find Dare. Luckily you don’t have to go down nearly that far. Plus, the conditions aren’t quite as hostile. Hopefully anyways.

Sure the campaign is short, but that just leaves you more time to play with my Johnson.
You knew that pre-order bonus would come in handy somehow. You just didn’t know it would be this good!

Is there an Optican station nearby because the second I approached you, I instantly felt better.
If you want to go above and beyond, take a clue from the first aid stations in the game and be ready with an emollient of sorts. And yes, flavored lubricant totally counts.

I still need the My Clothes! achievement. Any chance you could take off my pants and I could finish you with a headshot?
Brutes aren’t the only ones who enjoy getting their pants taken off. Plus, if she’s any good, she’ll drain you better than any plasma pistol ever could.

*eyeing the breastplate* I never cared much for dual wielding anyways. I’ve always preferred to handle those suckers one at a time.
Sure they come in pairs but each one deserves individual attention. You’ll know you’re doing it right when it’s her that needs the silencer, not the pistol.

If you thought getting the Vidmaster Endure achievement was impressive, you should see how many rounds I can go in the bedroom. Let’s just say you’ll be calling in reinforcements long before the night is over.
Make sure you introduce yourself to any and all of her friends before using this line. I certainly can’t think of a better lineup of reinforcements, can you?

You must be part Hunter because the second I laid eyes on you, I wanted to do you from behind.
There’s a special spot in the back you should always aim for on Hunters. She has a similar area. You’ll recognize it when you see it!

I don’t need a beacon because I already know my ultimate destination. And that’s right here with you.
Aaawww, so disgustingly sweet. Who the hell falls for lines like that anyways?

Getting older is one of those unfortunate facts of life. Many times we don’t even know it’s happening until we take a look in the mirror and make the stark realization that we still have the same exact haircut we so precariously styled way back in our high school days, the bad news being it’s two plus decades later. We also tend to not age very gracefully, and one of the ways that is apparent is through our gaming habits. Are you approaching the crest of the hill but haven’t quite realized it yet? Here are the top ten ways to tell you’re an older gamer. By the way, the 80s called. They want their fingerless “gaming” gloves back.

• Not only do you insist on watching every single cutscene instead of fervently mashing all the buttons in a hurried attempt to skip them, you instantly yell at and silence anybody who has the audacity to speak during one.

• Fully completing a game requires several playing sessions since you can only log an hour or two at a time due to having to wake up early the next morning for work. Or kids. Or meetings. Or other stuff you don’t want to do.

• Your video game time is almost always scheduled days in advance with reminders penciled in on your calendar. But that’s only if you are lucky enough to acquire your significant other’s permission. And they don’t give you a guilt trip the day of.

• You purchase your favorite video game’s soundtrack and listen to it during your commute, playing through your favorite levels in your head, in order to make up for your lack of actual playing time.

• You no longer pick up video games at midnight launches because you know you will be too tired to actually play it that night. Instead you opt to get it the following morning so you can keep your eyes open long enough to get it in the disc tray.

• You belong to an adult-only gaming community because you’re sick and tired of getting repeatedly humiliated by teenagers less than half your age who only beat you because they still have their lightning fast reflexes intact.

• Half of your vacations involve going to major gaming conventions. The other half are whatever your significant other selected because that’s what you had to agree to in order to go on the other ones.

• You always read the instructions before starting a game, often times spending several minutes studying the control scheme while simultaneously muttering under your breath about how much easier it was back in the days of joysticks and solitary fire buttons. Then you carefully tuck them back in the case because you know you will need a refresher the next time you play.

• You stick to puzzle and sim games when playing in the evening because you find shooters to be too stimulating in the pm hours.

• After immediately turning off any and all music in the options menu, you create your own custom tracklist for titles like Madden that feature modern tunes. Thankfully you realize the music coming out these days is nothing short of a travesty. You hold onto hope that the video game industry will pick up on that eventually too.

What do you get when you mix one of your favorite video games, a group of rowdy friends, and a generous amount of alcohol? Many of us unruly types refer to that as a guaranteed good time. Bored stiff from the standard drink upon every death version, I have concocted a handful of gametype-specific drinking games intended to enhance your already pleasurable Halo experience. Grab your favorite libation, make sure you have a few buckets handy, and get ready for a scandalous evening of debauchery. And let’s just put it this way, these games are not suitable for Harrison’s mom. You’ve been warned.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you grab the flag and successfully capture it without dropping it a single time.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time you hear an incessant string of “flag stolen, flag dropped” announcements. Then stab your own eardrums.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you successfully beat an opponent down with the bomb.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time your team arms the bomb but the other team disarms it in one second flat. With only one person sitting on it.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you get a specific weapon spree (shotgun, sword, sniper, or splatter).
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time one of your teammates betrays you for said weapon. Then watch them not do a single thing with it.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you spawn and the hill immediately moves directly next to you.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time you spawn at the farthest most point from the current hill. Then curse when you finally get there and it moves.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you get a Killing Spree or higher while holding the ball.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time the person you’ve almost killed jumps off the map with the ball when you’re nowhere near the spawn point.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you successfully stick the opposing VIP with a plasma grenade.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time all your teammates run off and leave you alone when you’re the VIP. Btw, they took all the battle rifles too.

Normal Version: Take a shot when you successfully keep the other team from capturing a single territory.
Get Drunk Fast Version: Take a shot every time you veto Land Grab and then get Territories. Or vice versa. Fucking Halo.

*Always drink responsibly. Don’t drink if you are underage. Never drink and drive. Blah blah blah. Wort wort wort.

To the hardworking and underappreciated Halo 3 Matchmaking Veto Gods,

I haven’t written to you in a while; as a matter of fact it’s been nine long months since I last deposited a note into your inbox. While I freely admit I am more than a little high maintenance, I do attempt to keep my complaining to a minimum. Lately though as I find myself in the same frustrating situation time and time again, I have watched my patience slowly wane until ultimately being consumed by anger. Thus I am back, again with the same simple request.

First I’d like to say that I recognize your job of choosing a second Halo 3 gametype after the initial selection is vetoed as being quite difficult. I don’t question that and I admire the blood, sweat, and tears you have poured into your work for the past several months. You still seem a little confused about something though so please allow me to make a few comparisons in order to assist in the clearing up of that haze. If you were to offer me a glass of red wine and I declined, your next suggestion would not be a Merlot. If you were to offer me a plate of calamari and I declined, your next suggestion would not be squid. If you were to offer me anal sex and I declined, your next suggestion would not be to stick your dick up my ass so STOP GIVING ME FUCKING LAND GRAB AFTER I VETO TERRITORIES! It’s essentially the same exact gametype, fucking sitting in a tiny ass spot for a torturously long time. If we were dogs that had to piss in order to capture the territories, timewise it would be equivalent to numerous morning pees and satisfactionwise similar to getting your right testicle bitten off by a psycho bitch of an ex-girlfriend.

In summary, I would appreciate you fixing your shit. Thank you much!

Let’s face it ladies, the vast majority of single guys are jerks. In their perpetual quest for the ever elusive score, they will stoop to almost any level for their typically all too brief moment of ecstasy. They pretend to be things they aren’t, they lie about significant aspects of their lives, and they will tell you absolutely anything they think you want to hear in the hope of being granted access to your otherwise off-limits pants. While wading through the treacherous waters of dating is a daunting task, there is one often overlooked niche group that deserves more attention than it receives. What group you might be wondering? Why gamers of course! Here are the top eight reasons why every girl should give the gamer in her life a shot at romance.

Males are a difficult breed to shop for. Sure, there’s an occasional item they lust after but typically you spend your time racking your brain for the one nonexistent thing they don’t have yet. With gamers, trying to find the perfect present is one dilemma you will never have. There’s always a new title, a new accesory, a new handheld, a new console, a new collectible, a new something that relates to their passion for gaming that they cannot live without. And that’s exactly what you can get him for his next birthday. Or Christmas. Or anniversary. Or whatever the next special occasion may be.

Have you ever experienced one of those wonderfully circular conversations consisting of, “What do you want to do tonight?” to which the standard response is always, “Oh I don’t know, what do you want to do tonight?” which is then followed by blank stares, growing anger, and an eventual unavoidable argument? If you date a gamer, you will never be faced with that frustrating experience again. Go see the latest movie adapted from a video game and then spend dinner picking apart the numerous reasons why it sucked bawls. Drive to the nearest big city and go to a video game convention, ogling the cosplay and getting ideas for joint costumes for the following year. Spend the afternoon at Best Buy playing the newest music game so you don’t have to drop another couple of hundred dollars on new and improved fake plastic peripherals. The possibilities are endless, which in this case is definitely a good thing.

Sometimes, as females, we feel intense pressure to be superstars in the field of culinary arts. We are nurturers, we want to take care of the people we care about, and one way we enjoy doing that is by creating the most elaborately impressive and delicious meals we can dream up. Unfortunately our skill in that department is sometimes lacking but when you are dating a gamer, that never comes into play. Gamers are used to scarfing down their meals in between levels. They typically have finger-friendly morsels that are low maintenance and, more importantly, leave very little residue on controllers and things of the like. Gamers are just as happy ordering a pizza as they are with a nice home cooked meal so there is very little pressure to hone your food preparatory skills. Do whatever you are capable of doing and as long as it’s not Ramen, he’ll be as happy as a clam. Hey, you actually got back in the kitchen, right? That should be enough for him right there.

One of the most common occurrences that gets your guy in trouble is probably when he goes to the bar after work with his buddies without letting you know. The complete and utter lack of common courtesy, not to mention respect, is likely to get your blood boiling in no time flat. That’s something that will rarely happen, if ever, when you date a gamer. Gamers don’t want to go somewhere and hang out for an extended period of time talking about water cooler topics they don’t give a shit about. They want to go home and play their newest video game they picked earlier on their lunch break. They want to go home so they aren’t late for their clan challenge or latest scheduled raid. They want to go home, plant their ass in front of their 60″ inch HDTV, and game. Going to the bar or strip club? It never even crosses their mind.

Have you ever said the most hilarious joke and instead of laughter, was faced with a look of complete and utter confusion? Have you ever seen something that reminded you of your favorite video game but quickly made the realization that your non-gamer boyfriend wouldn’t understand? Gamer culture is extensive and much more in depth than many people realize. Finding somebody who is compatible in that regard is priceless. When you see a Target sign with the upper right quadrant burnt out, imagine the joy you’ll feel in sharing that RRoD joke that is sure to pop into your head. When you each order dessert when having dinner out, you can share a laugh at the inevitable “The cake is a lie” quips that will quickly escape both of your lips. The best thing though? That pick-up line you’ve been practicing about him being Pac-Man, you being a Ghost, and him eating you all night long? That’s finally going to work. And how sweet it will be.

Flowers. Jewelry. Chocolates. Yawn. Does it get more boring than the same old tired gestures that are supposed to signify romance? Yes, you got down on one knee when proposing. Perhaps you could try something that hasn’t been done millions of times before in an effort to be unique. Recycling the same stereotypical romantic motions is not something a gamer knows how to do. Gamers express their love by designing custom levels within your favorite video game. They spell lovey dovey messages out of weapons in Halo 3’s Forge mode. They propose within the very video game you two spend the majority of your evenings playing. Even if other people don’t find zombies romantic, they hold a special place in your heart and that’s all that matters. Besides, those other people probably aren’t familiar with Left 4 Dead’s smokers and their insanely long tongues. Talk about hawt.

Women may pretend to like scented candles but honestly, the overwhelming floral fragrance gives us migraines. We may also say we like the warm baths and the soft music but guys taking baths is just weird and elevator-esque music puts us to sleep. Now you know why we roll our eyes and feign headaches at the rather pathetic attempts of foreplay. Dating a gamer eliminates such see through strategies though because they know the advantages to popping in your favorite video game. There’s nothing like playing the last level of Halo: Combat Evolved, beating it by just a few seconds, and feeling the rush of adrenaline take over your body. Seize the moment, and your favorite player two, and beat the level that comes after that. He may have thought there was nothing better than beating his big hard boss, but that was before he met you.

Many of us have been around since the days of Atari, and others of us spent our childhoods wasting away quarter after quarter on various arcade machines. It’s safe to say we are more than a little familiar with a joystick. We relish the hardened feel of it. We know how firmly it likes to be handled. We’ve mastered the art of manipulating it, slowly at first and then a bit more quickly. We know when to stop, and when it’s safe to continue. We recognize the signs of when the game is close to being over. And then we know how to finish it. We know our way around a joystick, and thus we know you. I’m pretty sure it’s a match made in heaven.

Chicks dig bad ass Spartan supersoldiers. Just ask anybody who has ever cosplayed as Master Chief. The following is an image collection of particularly attractive females who happily give Master Chief the respect and adoration he deserves. Think of it like Hot Chicks with Douchebags, except Master Chief is not a douchebag. Well, most of the time anyways.

He wears a helmet so you can’t see where he’s looking. Hint: down and to the right

One of them isn’t wearing clothes underneath. Not the one you were hoping either.

He’s scared! Of her nasty ass purse.

It’s a miracle his left thumbstick hasn’t broke yet.

His princess is never in another castle. Cause she’s always in the bedroom, boo-yah!

I know where her left hand is. Do you?

She’s just trying to point out where you should be looking.

Yeah, I think your mom is hot. Got a problem with that?

Many of the multiplayer maps available in the Halo trilogy have extraordinarily varied and unparalleled characteristics. From vast, snow-covered tundras to warm, shark-infested beaches to box canyons in the middle of nowhere, the virtual environments are all very unique. Occasionally we come across a map that we would vacation upon if given the opportunity, but what about if it came down to committing to a permanent residence? I like to be prepared for any given situation so these are my top ten Halo maps that I would inhabit in a heartbeat. If only, right?

Standoff, a beautiful patch of land full of rolling, grassy knolls, is surrounded by cliffs. It also has a plethora of massive radio dishes, some temptingly close and others off in the distance. Not withstanding the fact that the base would make a perfect home (which even comes equipped with an automatic garage door opener!), I’m sure those big ass antennas would pick up some cable as well. Can you even imagine how many channels you could get with all of those dishes?! I would never get off the couch again. As if I get off the couch now.

I love entertaining, and that wouldn’t change simply because I was a resident in the Halo world. That’s why Guardian, a gorgeous map set in a jungle-surrounding ancient Forerunner complex, would be the perfect place to call home. While the dance floor in the center is the main draw, imagine how amazing the blue room would be with a few strobe lights and loud, pulsating music. The blue room just became the new green room. Party at my place! But only after I pick up the explosive barrels littering the joint.

I am an extremely lazy person so the draw of having a public transportation system readily available is simply too tempting to pass up. That’s why I wouldn’t hesitate for a second before moving into Terminal. Set in a huge train station, light rail trains travel through the city on a regular basis. I would call the room above the base my home and spend my days riding the train. I’d probably practice announcing as well as I’ve always wanted to voice a GPS. “Turn left after one block. I said LEFT! Oh my gawd, you missed the fucking turn you douchebag. If you think I’m going to reroute your entire course, you’re fucking crazy. Good luck finding your way there, Mr. I Can’t Follow a Single Direction.” Good times, good times!

Sometimes you feel the sudden urge to live your life on the edge, and what better place to do that than Gephyrophobia? While taking up residence on a bridge that hangs high above a misty pit would be somewhat terrifying, imagine all the fun things you could do. You could set up a tight rope between the ledges or you could race your ghost haphazardly around the track, but my personal favorite would be setting up a place to go bungee jumping straight into the foggy chasm. Or would that be Bungie jumping? Either way, sign me up.

Containment is a massively large, primarily open winter wonderland. That is why it’s the perfect place for absolutely any activity requiring biting cold temperatures and a plethora of frozen precipitation. Skiing? Plenty of slopes for that. Sledding? Have at it on the abundance of hills. Personally, I would keep myself busy by utilizing the tunnels on both sides of the map as tubes for bobsleighing. I think everybody has wished at some point they could try that sport. And if you say you haven’t, you should be on the bottom of the ocean floor because clearly you are lying. Get it? I’ve been working on that one.

Colossus is an indoors map with numerous ramps, levels, and plasma pistol/battle rifle combinations. More importantly though, it has a gigantic gravity lift that shoots you soaring straight upwards into the sky. Assuming you get the angle correct, you can keep bouncing on the lift for an indefinite period of time. I used to do that during actual games, but unfortunately my fun was typically cut short by a sniper round to the face. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen in real life too.

I have a thing for rearranging furniture and also redesigning areas that were just designed the day before. I can’t help it, that’s just the way it is. For the simple ease of the original blank slate and Forge mode, I think Foundry and I are a natural fit. I have no doubt the map would see a different setup every single day if I resided there. And you know what? I’m ok with that.

Orbital is the inside of a cargo-transporting docking station which means there is a generous amount of computerized technology housed within its confines. Considering how high tech the environment is, I’m assuming there are a multitude of fancy computers just waiting to be gamed on. I’m picturing my arrangement similar to the crazy WoW setup. I imagine the multitude of computers would be quite conducive to my blogging as well. I’m going to go ahead and apologize for that now.

Summer to me is delicious outdoor barbecues, sunset walks along the warm beach, swimming and wading in the ocean, and the abundance of females wearing less than the normal amount of clothing. Offering a protective covered area, an exposed area, and everything in between, I think all of those things are a given on Last Resort. Well, at least the females with less clothing one is. This is me we’re talking about after all.

Turf spans a small city block complete with numerous stores and even a handy-dandy medic hut. The swine flu, maybe you’ve heard of it? Yeah, I’ll be moving into the med tent tomorrow.

Maps I Would Not Want To Live On

• Sandtrap: I can’t even begin to imagine how much dusting would be required in order to live in Sandtrap. I’ll pass on that, thanks.
• Zanzibar: As much as I would enjoy reenacting Jaws, I think I’ll pass on this one too. Someone else will have to be the shark fodder of the day.
• Isolation: All I have to say is venereal disease, Isolation haz it.

*A special thank you to bobcast, who would love nothing more than being able to reside in between Burial’s Mounds, for the idea!

Playing Halo isn’t just about shooting your opponent in the face. It’s also about planting a sticky grenade on their ass. Beyond that though, the designers behind many of the multiplayer maps gave us numerous opportunities to interact with our environment. Many times utilizing these reciprocal features gives us a distinct advantage during gameplay. Other times they are merely good for shits and giggles. On the not so rare occasion they can even be the direct cause of our untimely death. They always keep us on our virtual toes though so in appreciation for these tasty little tidbits, I offer you what are, in my opinion, the top ten interactive features scoping the very full library of Halo maps.

Snowbound is widely adored and equally despised. Regardless of where you fall on the love/hate spectrum, I guarantee you have, at some point during your online career, toyed with the automatic turrets that diligently guard the boundaries. Shooting anybody who ventures beyond the designated area, it’s fun deploying a bubble shield and watching them fruitlessly attempt to gun you down. It’s even more fun watching an enemy ghost flip out of control and get blown to smithereens. Assuming it’s not me.

While I have never been a big fan of Elongation, I will readily admit that the crates are a never-ending source of entertainment. And by entertainment I mean complete and total frustration. If I were to receive a single plasma grenade for every time I got pinned behind one and fell down the black hole of death (both purposely from conveyor belt dance parties and accidentally from poor maneuvering), my pockets would be bulging. And not because I’m happy to see you either.

The Pit, which is a small training grounds for UNSC forces, has a total of four Brute targets (and two Jackal ones as well) that pop up when they sense nearby movement. While they may provide excellent shooting practice, they have also been known to startle approaching players. I would like to take a moment to say they have never caught me by surprise or made me jump. Because that would just be silly. As firing a few rounds at them out of reactive fright would be as well. :cough:

If you thought Colossus’ shining glory was the numerous easily accessible n00b combos, you missed out on a brief time period that allowed for one of the most fun flag tricks ever. At one point in time, if you threw the flag just right from the top part of the base down to the lowest level, it would bounce off the conveyor belt directly into the opposing base. Unfortunately that glitch was fixed but that doesn’t stop it from making my list. Super bouncing flags ftw!

The top bridge of Midship is home to the highly sought after energy sword. It also has four little indentations (two on each side) that roundly jut out ever so slightly. Those small gray circular sections, which comfortably fit one, double as trampolines. Jumping on them gets you glorious air, especially when done in coordination with someone on the opposite side. Bouncing on the bridge may even be more fun than playing an actual game on that map. So you can take your rocket ball and shove it.

Successfully maneuvering a vehicle in Halo is difficult for some. Successfully maneuvering a vehicle on the icy patches of Sidewinder is difficult for all. Located in front of the horseshoe and in between the bases are treacherous patches of slippery ice just waiting to throw you violently off course. What should be a source of frustration always ends up as a hilarity, no more than when the sliding results in running someone over. Slippery splatters have never been so satisfying.

The vast majority of offensive objective games on Zanzibar start with someone stating their intent of opening the gate. Allowing vehicular entry into the base, it is an excellent strategic move. It’s also entertaining as the screen that appears after the gate opens reads, “A total FU exception has occurred at your location. All system functionality will be terminated. Press any key to power cycle the system. If system does not restart; scream at top of lungs and pound on keypad.” As humorous as that is, I think screaming was the usual response when faced with the all too frequent blue screen of death. For me it was anyways, along with a controller hurling directly at the tv of course.

The easiest way to get from the top of Isolation all the way down to the Flood-infested bottom is by falling down the tube located above the shotgun. Because of its appearance and the way it closes after it ejects you, it’s often fondly referred to as the “poop chute.” If you’ve ever wanted to know more about the basics of the defecation process, I would think that’s the perfect glimpse into what it would be like to take a ride out of your own ass. Which I heard, by the way, is quite the pleasurable experience.

Terminal’s setting is a huge train station in the city of New Mombasa. Considering that vital bit of information, it only seems fitting that one of the most prominent features on the map is a light rail train that periodically speeds down the tracks. Doubling as a killball, the train kills almost everything it touches. I would say much like my sniper rifle but that would be a complete and total lie. Curses.

Playing neutral flag on Waterworks? Not so fun. Dropping an icicle-shaped mineral deposit on the top of an opponent’s unsuspecting head? Now we’re talking. Waterwork’s ceiling is home to a handful of stalactites that can be convinced into falling with a few well-placed bullets. There is no better feeling than starting a game, shooting the stalactite above the enemy’s base, and having it come crashing down, crushing anybody who has the misfortune of being directly underneath it. Actually, there is one better feeling but there’s no reason to bring your mom into this, right?

Honorable Mentions

• Turf’s Beams: The two large beams on the buildings on the street can be lowered with a simple melee. I would have included them on this list if I could cross them without falling off.
• Narrow’s Icicles: Super bad ass Spartans can jump off the icicles hanging on the tops of the doorways that lead underneath the bridge (9:36). Unfortunately I am not one of them.
• Last Resort’s Container: It’s possible to flip the container inside the base on Last Resort, adding an extra layer of protection to the objective area. It’s a cool trick when messing around, but cheap as hell in matchmaking. Thus, DENIED.

*Did I miss your favorite? Do you have a fun story that involves one of these features? Share it in a comment!