Let’s face it ladies, the vast majority of single guys are jerks. In their perpetual quest for the ever elusive score, they will stoop to almost any level for their typically all too brief moment of ecstasy. They pretend to be things they aren’t, they lie about significant aspects of their lives, and they will [...]
Archive for the ‘Original Must Reads’ Category
3 May
Hot Chicks with Master Chief
Chicks dig bad ass Spartan supersoldiers. Just ask anybody who has ever cosplayed as Master Chief. The following is an image collection of particularly attractive females who happily give Master Chief the respect and adoration he deserves. Think of it like Hot Chicks with Douchebags, except Master Chief is not a douchebag. Well, most of [...]
30 Apr
Top Ten Halo Multiplayer Maps I’d Like to Reside Upon
Many of the multiplayer maps available in the Halo trilogy have extraordinarily varied and unparalleled characteristics. From vast, snow-covered tundras to warm, shark-infested beaches to box canyons in the middle of nowhere, the virtual environments are all very unique. Occasionally we come across a map that we would vacation upon if given the opportunity, but [...]
28 Apr
Top Ten Interactive Features on Halo Multiplayer Maps
Playing Halo isn’t just about shooting your opponent in the face. It’s also about planting a sticky grenade on their ass. Beyond that though, the designers behind many of the multiplayer maps gave us numerous opportunities to interact with our environment. Many times utilizing these reciprocal features gives us a distinct advantage during gameplay. Other [...]
27 Apr
Top Ten Halo Multiplayer Maps
If you’ve been with the Halo trilogy since the beginning, selecting the best multiplayer maps is a lot like saying whom out of all your children is your absolute favorite. Or whom you would save between you and your spouse if only one of you could survive the impending zombie apocalypse. Or whom you would [...]
24 Feb
HPTBTSOOM: The Flagrantly Fallacious Teabagger
HPTBTSOOM (which stands for Halo Players That Bug The Shit Out Of Me) is a series about, you guessed it, Halo players that bug the shit out of me. Think I am talking about you? Chances are I probably am. Freakin’ jerk.
You are in the middle of a particularly intense game of Team Slayer on [...]
30 Jan
Guitar Hero Text Adventures
Interactive fiction, a type of computer adventure game with text-based input and output, always used to bug the shit out of me. Regardless of what I carefully entered at the awaiting prompt, it was never recognized. Then I would resort to ridiculing the artificial narrator before finally giving up. Despite my previous lack of success [...]
29 Jan
Seven Reasons Why You Should Not Buy Rumble Massage
The XNA Community Games program (which gives participating members the opportunity to share, peer review, download and play community-made games) sometimes surprises us with entertainingly clever creations. Other times it just wants to take our Xbox 360 controllers and turn them into vibrating massagers. The goal of one of their latest offerings, appropriately titled Rumble [...]
13 Jan
Why I Hate Your Halo Video
I watch a lot of Halo-themed videos each and every day. Some are overly edited montages. Some are substandard machinima. Some are lackluster game play clips. Some are overly dramatic shorts. But the majority of them have one thing in common: they are a complete and utter waste of my time. Please note I am [...]
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