Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

I love pick-up lines, not as a thinly guised technique for scoring with the opposite sex but more as a humorous form of entertainment to help pass the time. Pick-up lines can be sweet, suggestive, hilarious, and sometimes even offensive but they are sure to get a reaction, whether it is a laugh, a groan, or something in between.

Any time I sit down to write pick-up lines, I always find myself back at Halo. From pick-up lines to romantic proposals to break-up lines, I just can’t stay away from that theme. Thankfully our favorite Spartan who so generously wages war in defense of humanity gives us a neverending supply of material. Thus I offer you ten more Halo pick-up lines, just in case you used the first batch already and now are in need of some new ones.

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I stumbled upon an entertaining site called BlahblahFish which translates your phrases from English to another language and then back again to see “what’s lost (or gained) in translation”. It’s silly mindless fun so I thought it would interesting to see what my Top 10 Halo Pick-Up Lines were like in foreign languages. I warned you last time that you probably can’t score using these lines in English, and now I know you apparently can’t score using them in these other languages as well. I guess it’s back to the ol’ drawing board.

Original : I think something is wrong with my auto-aim. I can’t take my eyes off you.
Serbian : JA misliti nešto 3. lice od TO BE u prezentu nepravda s moj auto - namjera. JA can’t uzeti moj oèi undress te.
Retranslated : I believe some with it be from present iniquity with my car undertaking I can’t receive my eyes undress you.
Conclusion : We all know guys mentally undress females with their eyes on a frequent basis but apparently Serbians actually fess up to it. And blame it on their cars. Brilliant really.

Original : Do you need a Magnum because I’ve got one right here for you. In my pants.
Greek : Χρειάζεστε μια φιάλη δύο λίτρων επειδή έχω ένα δικαίωμα εδώ για σας. Στα εσώρουχά μου.
Retranslated : Need a bottle of two litres because I have a right here for you. In my underwears.
Conclusion : Two liters? Holy shit. I would guess people in Greece spit a whole lot more than they swallow. That or they guzzle large amounts of water from ingesting all that salt. Eek.

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Some of you were disappointed when your score was not higher on the first part of the You Know You Play Too Much Halo When … quiz. Will you do better on part two or will you be forced to face the fact that you just don’t play enough Halo? That actually doesn’t sound that bad because then you would need to play more Halo just to save face amongst your Halo obsessed friends. Any excuse to score more game time, right? Maximum score is 26 again so on to the quiz, and don’t forget to let us know what you scored!

You know you play too much Halo when you DON’T want to ever see the Chief’s face because it will ‘ruin the dream’. - -S-

You know you play too much Halo when it makes your calendar as “scheduled play time”. - Andrew Alliance

You know you play too much Halo when your NCAA office pool is replaced with Griffball brackets. - RyJen

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Judging from the number of responses people submitted to last Friday’s Do You Play Too Much Halo? question, I think it is safe to say that all of us do in fact play too much Halo. Just in case you aren’t sure if that describes you, I (and by I, I mean all of you) created this handy two part quiz to help you figure it out. For each “You know you play too much Halo when …” statement, check the corresponding box if it applies to you. After completing the quiz, count the number of checks you have. There are 26 statements in all so a simple majority probably qualifies you for admittance to the “Proud to be Addicted to Halo” group. Whether it’s high or low, be sure to post your score in the comments. And you know you play too much Halo when you not only score extremely high on this quiz but you also pass it along to all your friends, confident that your score will pwn theirs.

You know you play too much Halo when you start measuring time in the number of matchmaking games you can play: “I have an hour, so I can get in roughly 3 TS, 2 BTB, or 5 Lone Wolves.” - mendicantbias00

You know you play too much Halo when you overhear someone claiming how amazing they are at Halo and you butt-in mid-sentence with “Ohhhhhh REALLY”. - -S-

You know you play too much Halo when you hear someone ask if there are any ‘tea bags’ and you laugh out loud. - ResilientMonkey
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I don’t like playing custom games in Halo 3. It simply isn’t my cup of tea. I much prefer the standard settings that matchmaking offers so that is where I happily spend 99% of my time. Within my clan I am known by a phrase I said frequently back in the days of Halo 2: No. Actionsack. Bullshit. Any time someone switched the playlist to that, those were the first words to come screeching out of my mouth at a deafening volume. Nothing made my blood boil faster than the ridiculous gametypes that stupid playlist featured. Who the hell wants to play Tower of Power and Golden Showers time and time again? That’s what I thought.

Last weekend I played my first ever game of Grifball. Yes, I am aware this particular gametype has been the big craze for quite some time now. No, I have never been interested in playing it. Unfortunately I got dragged (kicking and screaming) into that temporary playlist despite my vociferous complaints. If I could go back and reclaim my Grifball virgin status I would but alas, I can not wipe the horrific memories from my mind. There are a few main reasons why I didn’t enjoy the Grifball experience. Don’t worry, I know you want to hear them and I’ve got you covered.

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Welcome, welcome to the 4th installment of Blog Banter, the monthly blogging extravaganza headed by bs angel! Blog Banter involves our cozy community of enthusiastic gaming bloggers, a common topic, and a week to post articles pertaining to said topic. The results are quite entertaining and can range from deep insight to ROFLMAO. Any questions about Blog Banter should be directed here. Check out other Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

The world is full of stereotypes. For some reason people love taking large groups of people and then assuming they all share the same basic characteristics. We are subjected to stereotyping based on everything from gender to race to religion to particular interests we are passionate about. How many times have you been confronted with generalizations people make about gamers that couldn’t be farther from the truth? I thought I would take some stereotypical statements about gamers from various articles around the internet and see how close to home they land. Do I fit the stereotype? Do I break the mold? We are about to find out.

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It’s been one hundred and eighty three forlorn days
Since I last laid my eyes upon you
I was convinced we would not ever meet again
I had already bid you adieu

The memories of you I very much cherish
Nobody could ever take your place
You were always my favorite map to play on
How I needed your snowy embrace

Lockout, sweet Lockout
I’ve really missed you so
You should have come back
Such a long time ago

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Three weeks ago I told the tragic tale of Nathaniel, a passionate gamer whose custom Xbox 360 got “cleaned” during an extended stay at the Microsoft repair center. One week after that I told the heartwarming story of Bungie, a very generous gaming studio who went above and beyond for Nathaniel by sending him the best Halo 3-themed goody bag ever. Today brings the final chapter to his story, the part that many people doubted would ever happen.

Microsoft contacted Nathaniel the day the article was originally published to offer a brief apology and to let him know they were working on rectifying the situation. Unfortunately they have been oddly silent since then. They have not given him any updates on the investigation, nor have they said if they figured out exactly what happened to his case. They did send him a gigantic cardboard box though.

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It seems these days that the tragic tales of stolen Xbox Live accounts are becoming more and more frequent. To keep things in perspective, the actual percentage of people who get their accounts hacked is really quite low, minuscule even when you consider Xbox Live has approximately ten million subscribers. However in this day and age you simply can’t be too safe. I stumbled upon some great tips offered by Anton P. Nym (a Master Forum Ninja on Bungie.net) that lists several excellent suggestions for keeping your Xbox Live account secure. Maybe you will learn something new, maybe it will simply be a much needed refresher. Whatever the case, it’s definitely worth your time to make sure you are doing all of these things to actively protect your gaming account and its related financial information.

• Use a private e-mail address, one that the general public doesn’t know and that you don’t use for MSN/AIM/GoogleTalk/etc, for your LiveID.

There are a plethora of free e-mail services you can choose from these days, all offering a variety of services and features. Top free email services include Gmail, AOL Mail, Global Mail Exchange, Yahoo! Mail, and Inbox.com. Do some research, pick one that works for you, and get yourself a new e-mail account. When your registration is complete, update your Windows LiveID e-mail account information by signing in, selecting Settings from the left sidebar, then choosing E-mail address.

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The always entertaining XerxdeeJ over at the Tied the Leader blog did a humorous little rant yesterday about those annoying gold bars that periodically crop up under certain Halo 3 ranks. It reminded me of my own personal struggle that I once had with those Chevron bars. While he views them as a mark of shame, I see them as a disastrous fashion faux pas.

I don’t follow the Halo 3 ranks that closely. I can’t tell you what rank I am, I can’t tell you what rank I will be next, and I can’t tell you how many wins I need until I rank up. I play simply for the love of the game so I tend to disregard certain particulars to keep it at a fun level. Rank and experience are two of those things that I ignore. While I yearn for that ever elusive win, I don’t care about the number or symbol next to my name.

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