Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

Double EXP weekend is back, and so is everybody’s favorite hammer wielding, no shield wearing, ball carrying, lag loving Spartan sport of explosive craziness. Hop onto Halo 3 anytime until 2am PDT Monday morning and you can enjoy the entertaining antics of Grifball while receiving a significant boost to your experience. The Spring League map variant is being used thus making it more difficult for those jerkfaces who enjoy escaping the map once they gain the lead because they can’t win any other way. In conjunction with the weekend’s festivities is a screenshot contest going on over at Grifball.com so check that out if you feel so inclined. Think you may see me in this temporary ravenous orange killing playlist? Clearly you don’t know me at all.

It’s Friday, and it’s hot! We seemed to skip the mild spring season and go straight to the blazing hot summer. While I spend my day holed away in the cool basement, I could use some entertainment. Before you caption this week’s screenshot, let’s recap last week’s hilarious captions. Out of nearly 200 submissions, these were my favorites.

• “After 1 day of being hired to re-design the latest MJOLNIR armor, Tony Stark was let go.” (-S-)
• “This leaked screenshot from an upcoming Halo 3 expansion pack shows yet another Bungie-only armor permeation.” (petetheduck)
• “What he did at the Halo 3 after party will echo through his life for years to come.” (aussie_spartan)
• “You should see the shape of the ammo!” (soulofaqua)
• “It’s plenty big, but how’s the… uh… “reload time”?” (Yellow Six)
• “Although it proved completely impractical in every combat scenario, the entire team agreed that the Mjolnir mark VII armor was totally awesome.” (T Robert T)

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In my opinion one of the most satisfying kills in Halo 3 is the one achieved by a spike grenade. There is nothing I love more than hearing the deliciously meaty sound of penetration and then watching the resulting shrapnel spewing destruction. That is why I desperately need this t-shirt I found on Cafe Press.

Purchase here : Cafe Press
Price : $17.99 and up

Available in a variety of styles, colors, and sizes, this spike grenade t-shirt perfectly depicts the feeling of watching one of those dreaded balls of fury come speeding toward your face. I think my teammates can probably relate considering my grenades are constantly flying in their general vicinity. Hey, it’s not my fault people step directly in front of me right when I throw one. You’d think they’d learn.

If you have a thing for machinima, have always had a secret desire to be on Bungie’s favorites, or just enjoy the camaraderie of the Halo 3 community, reserve the fourth weekend of May for the third annual Red vs. Blue CanWest community event. Taking place in the beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, this Rooster Teeth machinima screening event has a plethora of activities going down on both Saturday, May 24th and Sunday, May 25th. Saturday’s festivities include a screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Sunday is the actual CanWest event (which is a mix of community and industry panels, selected machinima, and also some music). Of course bar festivities will round off both evenings for all interested attendees. A weekend pass for both days of activities will only run you a paltry $25 CND (the proceeds of which will be generously donated to everybody’s favorite gamer charity Child’s Play).

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I am officially a Halo 3: Confirmed Kills slacker. I was completely unaware of the first three episodes, saw the fourth, missed the next three and luckily managed to catch this one. Apparently I am only capable of watching every fourth video in this series which is too bad because they really are quite entertaining. Comprised of Halo 3 gameplay clips ranging from average to lucky to completely bad ass, the play that comes in at #2 in this video is worth watching all of the other (sometimes boring) clips. If only my needler worked that well.

I have come to realize that any time Adam Grumbo appears in my inbox, it is a great day. For the past several months he has been collaborating with Spase to create a phenomenal set of Halo 3 Marine Armor. While they don’t consider it 100% completed (they plan on adding detailing, strapping, and ammo pouches among other things), it was finished enough for a photo shoot in downtown Austin. Adam is sporting his Master Chief armor while Spase is making a special appearance as a Marine. They are so lucky I don’t live in that area, otherwise they would have had a rabid fangirl on their hands. Now if you’ll please excuse me, I need a cigarette just from looking at these pictures.

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When I was wading through the wastelands of YouTube this morning looking for a Halo related Mother’s Day video to post, I ran across this little gem. It’s not hilarious, it’s not high quality machinima, it is nothing that will blow you away. However it perfectly captures the essence of Mother’s Day in my opinion. It is a video that someone lovingly made for their mother on a medium that they are familiar with. You can hear a little sister in the background giggling away towards the end of the video. It just makes my heart happy. Plus, I kinda have a thing for towers of men.

Dust off your favorite long range weapon because it’s time for Halo 3’s Double EXP Weekend. Until Monday you will have the opportunity to play Team Snipers while simultaneously scoring a hefty dose of experience. I may be an expert at handling the long barrel but I certainly can’t snipe worth shit so you may see me in this playlist simply trying to get some practice. Then again I don’t enjoy dying repeatedly without being able to take a single step so I may try to find something to do this weekend that I actually like. If you hop into this cursory sharpshooter heaven, enjoy your headshots. Just not on me.

I woke up this morning, made the startling realization that today was Friday, and breathed a gigantic sigh of relief. I’ve had a busy week so my electrifying plans for weekend include climbing into bed and not coming out until Monday morning. Before I bury myself in a sea of blankets, let’s revisit last week’s rather humorous captions.

• “That fateful weekend it wasn’t the EXP that Bungie mistakenly doubled.” (petetheduck)
• “You should see what he’s packing UNDER his armor.” (-S-)
• “Dude! That Hayabusa armor is AWESOME!” (Seth)
• “Size DOES matter!” (soulofaqua)
• “Caboose from RVB didn’t realize the tank was cheating on him until he saw her first kid.” (Michael Dardis)
• “You know what? I’m sick of this ‘the H3 battle rifle isn’t strong enoughhh’ whining - I hope you enjoy the new PERMANENT game update, you MLG jerks” - Frankie (-S-)
• “You should see the sniper rife…” (NsU Soldier)
• “Bungie’s last-ditch effort to overtake CoD4 on the XBL charts.” (R2-JL)

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