Friday Caption Fun, Round 87
April 9, 2010 115 Comments
Today is April 9th meaning the 15th, the day Microsoft will discontinue support for original Xbox titles, is right around the corner. I highly recommend you spend your weekend playing Halo 2 (don’t forget to send your clips and messages to H2Montage@gmail.com!) but if you don’t have that disc handy, the Prepare to Drop playlist is there to fill your Halo 3 double EXP needs. I’m here for your caption cravings though so let’s recap last week’s witty responses and then we can tackle a brand new screenshot!
- “Continuing the trend of gritty remakes, Oregon Trail is going to be the next to receive an update.” (dragnew)
- “Bungie’s biggest mistake in Reach: trading in the Warthog for the Mass Effect Mako.” (mendicantbias00)
- “Blue decided that the 3rd person animation for assassinations wouldn’t be enough, so running him down in a big ass truck would have to do instead…” (Spacepyjamas)
- “22s weren’t enough. 34s, too small. Not even 50s could satisfy Dave. He just had to go for the 72 inch rims… and six of them at that.” (retinence)
- “Yo yo yo, this is Xibit and comin’ up next on Mtv it’s PIMP MY HOG!” (ZZoMBiE13)
- “Hey! There are no vehicles in Zugzwang Evolved! Also no running away allowed.” (Mike)
It’s a good thing the “no running away” rule is only applicable in Zugzwang Evolved and not across all the Halo games, otherwise I’d have to find a completely new strategy! Maybe that’s what Johnson and Johnson are discussing, a new strategy. Wait a second, … Johnson and Johnson? I have no earthly idea, but hopefully you do and you can tell me in the form of a funny caption. Off you go!
Author: tkdlachlan
“Brewery?”
“No.”
“Bakery?”
“What? No, dude.”
“Baby powder and diapers?”
“…oh my god, YES!”
“WE know what the ladies like!”
I know BS Angel will like that one ; )
“Well hello beautiful”
There can be only one!
Upon encountering his doppelganger Johnson discovered that rather than eliminating him from the universe, the universe was forced to expand to encompass the shear magnitude of Bad Ass
YOU! ARE! A! TOYYYYY! You aren’t the real Sgt. Johnson! You are a child’s play thing!
Is that a mirror? I LOVE mirrors!!!
You’ve been talking to that scientist, havn’t you?
“Bip?”
“Bap.”
“Bam!”
*high fives*
The secret language of Sarges: revealed.
“Time for a double team!”
“You want front or back door?”
“Double the Johnson, double the fun.”
—
“How many times do I have to tell you? Miranda is mine!”
—
UNSC Project “Sweet William”… They got it right!
“Finally, another black dude that isn’t a marine getting his sorry ass whooped.”
Halo’s Logic’s. Failure.
Sentences that include Halo and Fail or any derivitives of such do not sit well with me
Just sayin…
Thanks for being a complete, and utter douche bag. I appreciate it.
Johnson and Johnson: A family company
Win!
That was such a win I’m not even going to try and top it.
Ramirez! Make us some baby soap!
“Guinness!”
“Brilliant!”
What does mine say?
DUDE!
What does mine say?
SWEET!
lol who posted as the Spirits.
come on guys!
I AM ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!
Sorry…must have something caught in my throat. o_O
:rofl:
LOL. High five indeed.
ROFL *high five*
“Whoa… Can you turn this up? I LOVE rehabilitation.”
–or how bout this one–
“Okay, let’s meet our rehabilitation officers for tonight.”
Please, for the love of god, SOMEONE get the reference!
*hint*
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y128/nick53182/Assblaster.png
=)
Oh wait, that one was last week. Oh well. I’ll just have to build a time masheen and go back one week to post them in that thread.
Okay, here’s what we’ll do. we’ll go to the time masheen, then when I get back to the past, I’ll post it in the other thread and fix everything! No wait a second… I already posted this here, so that must mean I didn’t go back in time right? No wait, hold on… It just means I haven’t done it yet. Okay. So I go back and I post it in the other thread, then it’ll be posted in this thread and I’ll see the response and I wont post it and look like an idiot. But then… why did I still post this here?
Damnit!? How does this time travel work!?!?
*gets arrested*
=D
Idiocracy, good movie, but a week too late… and the time travel part fits in perfectly
“I always knew I was a handsome man, but seeing this just confirms it.”
“Finally, some one else who knows what the ladies like”
We heard you like powerful black figures in you videos games, so we put a Johnson, next to Johnson. So he can represent while he represents.
After what had to be the most boring day of work in his career Crazy A 64 was convinced he’d started seeing double O_o
“We know what the ladies like.”
“Now neither of us will be virgins!”
Or, in Predator style – “You son of a bitch!” *BROFIST*
To soothe upset fans, Bungle released this screenshot, revealing that Johnson DID have a clone who was actually the one killed by Guilty Spark.
My Johnson’s Bigger!
“What number am I thinking of?”
“69, dude!”
“Whoa.”
Unlike those chumps in ‘Back to the Future, Johnson doesn’t faint when he encounters his future self.
Cloning: How Sgt. Johnson really survived the legendary cut scene of Halo:CE.
“I’m the real Johnson! shoot him!”
“Cause i’m Sergeant Johnson, yes I’m the real Johnson, all you other Sergeant Johnsons are just imitating, so won’t the real Sergeant Johnson please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.”
Contrary to popular belief, This is actually the last thing the prophet of truth ever saw
Bungie came down to the last two Johnson’s left in the game code, after all others were eliminated like 5 times in Halo 1, once in Halo 3, but now Bungie gets to kill him twice in Halo: Reach.
I don’t have a caption, but I know how to do that glitch!
I really hope Angel puts this on the top captions, it would be interesting
“Somehow, I don’t think this is what Alex Van Halen meant when he said, ‘I wish I had two
Johnsons!’ ”
P.S. Angel, don’t tell me you really play Beautiful Katamari — that is the goofiest game of all time!!!!
“damnit are you high?”
“no dude……… your high”
“……….”
“……….”
“… What?”
Dude, I love Beautiful Katamari. I’d play it a lot more if I didn’t require Dramamine every time!
“The attack doesn’t come from the front, but from the side. SHCWOOP! And the other two Johnsons, you didn’t even know were there.”
*insert raptor claw here*
And here we see the problem with giving away codes to unlock Johnson in Firefight. Repitition repetition repetition.
————————————————–
I like machinima as much as the next guy, but did we really NEED a Halo version of Micheal Keaton’s Multiplicity???
Someone else watched Multiplicity???
“Oh no, the legend rule will destroy them.”
This will make sense to someone.
Honest.
“Johnson, you can’t do that! You’ll create a time-paradox!”
When Johnson realized that there was no longer enough of him to go around, he simply made more of himself . By making another him.
http://www.lloydsmiley.com/images/dr_manhattan_2.jpg
Meet Sarge who’s been most everywhere
from Zanzibar to Mombasa Square
But Avery’s always in a fight, killing covies in his sight – what a crazy pair!
But they’re Johnsons, identical Johnsons all the way;
one pair of matching bookends, helping Chief save the day.
Where Sarge adores a cigarette,
pwning grunts, and hardly sweats.
our Avery loves old rock ‘n’ roll, firefight makes him lose control – what a wild duet!
Still they’re Johnsons, identical Johnsons and you’ll find
they yell alike, they shoot alike, even know what the ladies like.
You can lose your mind…..when Johnsons are two of a kind!!
The Avery Johnson show is brought to you by… Traxus!
“This universe is only big enough for one Johnson.”
“Well, Hawty did say she wanted more Johnsons in Halo…”
I really did!
“Your fly’s open.”
I see your schwartz is as big as mine
WIN!!!!!
“think of a number between 1 and 1,000,000″
“ok”
“is it 206,573?”
“wow how’d you know”
“eh, let’s call it a hunch”
Mr. and Mr. Smith
SJ1: “Keep your head down, there’s two of us in here now. Remember? ”
SJ2: “That wasn’t even my line!!!”
Johnson’s Johnson is so big it’s like a clone growing from his pelvic area.
Who’s that pretty girl in the mirror there…
What mirror, where…
OR
Dude I was supposed to come as Johnson, and you were supposed to be Lando…
I’m here from the future to tell you what the ladies like!
Guilty Spark’s gonna shit bricks when these two come looking for revenge.
“Finally! A pretty face!”
“Anything you can do I can do better!”
Strike him down and two arise to take his place.
“I’m Agent Johnson. This is Special Agent Johnson. No relation.”
Sargeant Johnson had the strangest sence of Deja vu that night
I came from the future to warn you, of a horrible lightbulb related death!
I’m seeing double! Four Johnsons!
wait a sec if your not the evil twin and i’m not who is?
(out of sight doctor)
it’s simple, your OTHER brother :O
“This is it, baby. Hold me.”
Johnson proves that ODSteve isn’t the only one capable of dual wielding splazers.
————-
Miranda, “That’s not what I meant when I said I wanted two Johnsons ready for insertion!”
SJ1: Hey punk, listen up
SJ2: What’s up you much older, but obviously NOT ME old man
SJ1: take this sports almanac from the future, bet on all the Griffball games, you can’t lose.
SJ2: future!?, you’re stupid old man, now get out of my way, I gotta get to the “enchantment under the sea dance.”
TIME PARODOX…….What the -boom-
“Now make like a tree, and get out of here!”
——————————————————————
“Black to the Future”
Johnson’s first time to a Halo convention was….confusing.
Cigar Smoke-off in 3..2..
‘You ever wonder why we’re here?’
“It’s just one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God, watching everything, you know? With a plan for us and stuff. I don’t know man, but it keeps me up at night.”
What? I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?
“Oh, uh… Yeah.”
The Halos wiped out all sentient life with one weapon: two Johnsons
TIME PARADOX!!!!
You know what they say about Johnsons; the more, the merrier.
“Ted, don’t forget to wind your watch!”
The first successful clone of Johnson gave gamestop the greenlight to give him out as a pre-order bonus
THIS is why you don’t have sex with your hot Mum, EVER!
“We both know what they do to prisoners”
“I can haz DeLorean, plz?”
We know what the ladies like!
Would you like to share my rock?
(sounds like a crack-head joke, actually an H2 campaign reference)
Johnson knows what the Ladies like.
That’s the definition of “Kick Ass” right there.
In all his life, the Chief had never had a holiday, genocidal aliens being what they are. However, the presence of two Johnson’s gave him the luxury.
And God looked down upon his Creation and thought it Good.
Once you go black…
Little did BS know that what you do to one of the twins, happens to both!
And this is what happened when bungie divided by zero
SJ1: “So…would this be incest or masturbation?”
SJ2: : D
When I heard BS Angel mention “Johnson’s Johnson”, I had no idea this is what she meant. In truth, I’m a bit relieved.
Yo dawg I heard you like Haloz so I got a Jonson for your Johnson so you can pwn while you pwn
Begun, the Clone War has.
Hey! Let’s go ask Miranda if she likes Dr. Pepper.
“hey Sgt. Johnson”
“hey Sgt. Johnson”
two johnsons meens two really lucky ladies or and very unlucky covenant army
Johnson and Johnson’s new formula proved to cause many tears.
“Double us’s!”
Johnson 1 was then distracted by a dog with a puffy tail.
WOW THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER MOVIE!!! GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!!!
i meant “LIKE THAT ONE ARNOLD”… forogt to put in the one
“I will if you will…”
Well, at least I haven’t no-clipped
“Is it gay, or just masturbation?”