Friday Caption Fun, Round 73
December 11, 2009 78 Comments
If you enjoy padding your experience effectiveness stats over at Halo Charts, you’ll be interested in knowing that Halo 3 is featuring the ODST-inspired Prepare to Drop playlist this weekend. The whole thing confuses me as I don’t understand why you would play something that’s supposed to be like ODST but with a shitty Magnum instead. I think I’ll stick to Firefight and captioning, thank you very much! Speaking of which, let’s recap last week’s answers and then tackle a brand new screenshot, shall we?
- “After waiting for the sniper rifle to respawn for two years, Red finally realised the game was set to ARs only.” (Mr Viper)
- “Now that I have the power of the SPARTANs, I shall return to Eternia and CASTLE GREYSKULL WILL BE MINE! HA-HAHAHAhahaha!” (Anton P. Nym)
- “Not care what Master Chief say. Mumbo Jumbo best shaman in Mombasa.” (Fiesta)
- “When his teammates told him he looked like death, he didn’t realize that wasn’t an exaggeration.” (Queen 0f Blades)
- “Peter Jackson canceled Maria Shriver’s part in the Halo movie once he realized the Hi-Def cameras were not kind to her.” (JLay)
- “Skel33tor: “I must find MLGxXHemanXx!” (Wasiq)
- “Grams always did go a little too heavy when applying her eyebrow makeup in the morning.” (Ash)
- “Well, at least now we know why Spartans don’t remove their helmets.” (ZZoMBiE13)
I do believe ZZoMBiE13 just ruined every single one of my Halo-related fantasies in one fell swoop. Oh, I’m just kidding. That’s not the head I care about anyways! Speaking of which, check out this Spartan’s long barrel. It seems slightly … bent. Surely that makes for good captioning fodder, yes? I guess we’re about to find out. Off you go!
Author: TheSpartan31
You know what they say about having a slight bend in the barrel…
I SWEAR it came this way!
Don’t laugh! My mom says we are all special in our own way!
That waskly wabbit!
oh, that’s why sniping got so hard
hur hur you said hard.
The newly developed sniper rifle was capable of shooting around the corners of buildings and was perfect for urban environments. Recon asked herself why she had been issued one for use in the desert. She had no clue.
They do say sagging comes with age.
Yes, I did it myself. I needed an excuse for all the missed shots!
He had perfected the “Gears Of War shot”.
(Now he never has to leave cover)
Seeing how purple is always getting killed in Speed Demons on Dish of Doom, he decided to increase his survival rate with “modifications.”
You know, Borderlands have over 3 1/2 million guns.
I think Bungie’s new release is grasping at straws….
Talk about Erectile Dysfunction!!
This is what happens when you mess with the “Laws of Physics” setting.
Dammit! Not Again!
Purple was lucky to have survived an encounter with a mad gravity hammer wielding brute, her sniper was not so lucky.
Purple was so excited about a surprise new custom weapon from ODST to be put into multiplayer, but was thoroughly saddened when it happened to be Romeo’s sniper.
Forget the barrel, my bi-pod is totally munted!
don’t laugh, this gun saved romeos life…
Romeo’s rifle sold for 25 cents on ebay.
The UNSC’s attempt at reverse-engineering a gravity lift unfortunately was too small and too strong. This Spartan didn’t mind however as it gave him something to back up his planned humorous response the next time someone asked him “How’s it hanging?”.
now, EVERY shot is a ricochet!
Look on the bright side: if you’re lucky, it can hit that “spot” easier.
See, even sniper rifles have droopy days.
Purple forgot about how gentle he had to be when picking up stuff with his armor on.
“The introduction of the Mr Bendy in Halo:Reach took corner camping to a horrific new level.”
i accidently my sniper
Early prototype for the beta handicap system that was eventually removed from Halo 3.
“When he said he was as straight as a gun barrel, people always forgot exactly what kind of hardware he was packing.”
“If Picasso designed weapons”
“Mr Recon was slightly miffed when his wife accidentally bent his barrel, but he has to admit that doubles has never been so much fun before.”
“BS Angels weapon of choice. The barrel bends to automatically target teammates”
“After repeated use Recon just couldn’t keep it up anymore”
“Pictured above: What happens when they switch out your viagra for muscle relaxant”
That “Picasso” line is priceless. I hope that one gets picked! :)
I was up all night thinking that line up, so thanks >.>
Blame Stosh…
The Spartan Warrior unveils his new top secret weapon for shooting around corners.
Romeo finally got in Dare’s pan–er, I mean armour, but unfortunately his, er, *weapon* was still bent from their last top secret…”mission”.
Too much?
“DAMN YOU CERN!!!”
DAMN YOU SNIDLEEEEEEY!
Bungie’s latest Matchmaking Update has significantly reduced the amount of players rushing to grab the sniper rifle.
New leaked screenshots for Halo: Reach confirm a new feature – real time weapon damage!
Milton was SO pissed that the bullys bent the barrel on his cardboard sniper rifle that he just couldn’t go to HALO-CON 2010
BRAND NEW for Halo: Reach, it’s Snipe-WOW! Perfect for taking that critical no-scope then packing it up for storage under the bed with your “Tony Little Gazel” and “Ginsu” Knives! ORDER NOW!!!
you know, when I told you to bend it like beckham, I was talking about soccer…
purple’s malfunctioning sniper rifle made his no scope to the dome that much more impressive…
After reading “Excalibur”, Purple thought he’d try a “Sniper in the Stone” approach to weapon placement. Results were not as fruitful as he’d hoped they’d be.
Red: Blue, why the f*ck is your barrel bent?
Blue: Dunno…my girl said it was kinky…
“Talk to your doctor about Cialis today.”
When Purple saw the distortion he realized that the Covenant, the Flood, everything was really just the Matrix. That or he really needed to stop eating the mushrooms on the bath mat.
Purple Spartan had never given Global Warming a second thought until his sniper started melting.
The Covenant had finally caught on to the Spartans’ tendency to take weapons from fallen enemies.
This puts a new meaning to “corner glitching”.
Ever since that fat Spartan rode his sniper like a horse things were never the same…
Thats no sniper!
I’m leaving the Rookie bad feedback on Ebay. Jerk.
And this is why Dali never designed video games.
No, he doesn’t shoot at me, he just shoots the ground around me
Note to self, brutes are stronger than sniper rifle barrels
And you thought the U.S. army didn’t have up to date equitment
Someone swam to the surface too fast and got a case of the ‘bends’.
“Oh, so THIS was the rifle that killed JFK. For a rifle this wonky, Magic Bullet theory really seems plausible.”
TheSpartan31 reveals himself as the great Al Jaffee.
Mr. Recon didn’t realize he had just picked up a sniper rifle that Jerry had just used to hit Tom over the head with.
Kinky
*cues wah-wah music and laughing girls*
That’s not going to fire anything ever again.
Spartans that wear Recon aren’t all they’re hyped up to be…
You bend the bullet, not the barrel!
Gamertag: xXDaliManXx
Elevator camping has its drawbacks when using a sniper rifle: the doors close way before the campers done….
the spartan was very sad when the snipers started insulting his gayness by becoming bent
What do you mean it’s not symbolic?
“I guess I slept on it wrong”
Although Purple Spartan swore that ODST was a rip-off of the original, even he got dragged into the latest “Rookie Scene Recreation” fad.
not even the magic of Recon can fix a bent Boomstick.
“I’ve gone limp!”
TOLD YOU THE SNIPER IS BROKEN!!! >_<
It get’s longer if ya give it a tug.
The sniper rifle reflex his crooked personality
NEW! Sniper variant of the Israeli Kitty-Cornershot, now with a lot less kitteh! Recon approved! Buy yours TODAY!
Dare realizied she shouldn’t have asked to borrow Romeo’s Sniper.
If Romeo ever borrows my sniper again, He’s TOAST! Y’hear?
The UNSC decided to salvage any weapons left behind in New Mombasa instead of making new ones, even Romeo’s Sniper was found in the hands an unlucky purple spartan.