Top Ten Signs You May Be a Camper
October 21, 2009 137 Comments
Often recognized by their tent, fire, and permanently stationary status, campers are one of the most detested groups known to exist on the virtual battlefield. Frustrating because of both their infuriating tactics and your inability to stop running directly into their tried and true traps, some of us are a little more guilty of this particular scheme than others. Could you perhaps belong to this most loathsome accumulation of gamers? There’s only one way to find out! Here are the top ten signs that you may, in fact, be a camper.
- After getting a kill, you run around for exactly ten seconds (in case your victim is watching you on their death cam) before resuming your position.
- The only things you ever hear on proximity voice are, “That -blam- is still there!” and/or startled yelps of surprise.
- You have more flag stops and shotgun sprees than all your friends. Combined.
- Your Xbox Live bio reads, “It’s a legitimate strategy!” And you truly believe it is.
- You have callouts for every last corner of the base but have no clue where Pelican and horseshoe are.
- Your left thumbstick is always the first button to get worn out on your controller.
- You veto all single-objective games because leaving the base is out of your comfort zone.
- When you pick up the flame thrower, your friends ask if you’d like a bag of marshmallows to go with it.
- You miss both the excessive amount of maulers on Narrows and the shotgun-friendly shield doors on Snowbound. The radar jammer however can go fuck itself.
- After reading this list, you are 100% confident you are not a camper; you just purposely put yourself in advantageous positions that play to your strengths. Again. And again. And again. And again.