Top Ten Halo 3: ODST Pick-Up Lines

It’s a well established fact that some people use Xbox Live as a dating service, focusing more on the potential real life score instead of the better chanced virtual game-related one. Unfortunately their verbal attempts are frequently recycled where you’ve heard them all before so I decided to draft some original Halo 3: ODST-themed pick-up lines to assist in attempts at scoring a Halo-obsessed girlfriend. These quirky quips will increase your chances tenfold! Or cause her to immediately disconnect. Definitely one or the other though.

halo 3 odst screenshot

If there were real life achievements, simply looking at you would unlock the Stunning! one.
Women loved to be given complements, even when it’s just the standard ones, but drop a word like stunning and they’re guaranteed to melt right before your eyes. Whether it’s from the impending laser or your words though, that will be left for you to decipher.

spacer

I know I’m not supposed to shoot anything pink, but yours looks a little too good to resist.
If you play this one right, you may not only have a shot at the pink but perhaps she’ll even grant you access to the stink. Or didn’t you know where the “Shock” in ODST originated from?


You know how the Rookie went down for Dare? Let’s just say I would gladly do the same for you.
The Rookie had to travel all the way to sub-level nine to find Dare. Luckily you don’t have to go down nearly that far. Plus, the conditions aren’t quite as hostile. Hopefully anyways.

spacer

Sure the campaign is short, but that just leaves you more time to play with my Johnson.
You knew that pre-order bonus would come in handy somehow. You just didn’t know it would be this good!

spacer

Is there an Optican station nearby because the second I approached you, I instantly felt better.
If you want to go above and beyond, take a clue from the first aid stations in the game and be ready with an emollient of sorts. And yes, flavored lubricant totally counts.

spacer

I still need the My Clothes! achievement. Any chance you could take off my pants and I could finish you with a headshot?
Brutes aren’t the only ones who enjoy getting their pants taken off. Plus, if she’s any good, she’ll drain you better than any plasma pistol ever could.

spacer

*eyeing the breastplate* I never cared much for dual wielding anyways. I’ve always preferred to handle those suckers one at a time.
Sure they come in pairs but each one deserves individual attention. You’ll know you’re doing it right when it’s her that needs the silencer, not the pistol.

spacer

If you thought getting the Vidmaster Endure achievement was impressive, you should see how many rounds I can go in the bedroom. Let’s just say you’ll be calling in reinforcements long before the night is over.
Make sure you introduce yourself to any and all of her friends before using this line. I certainly can’t think of a better lineup of reinforcements, can you?

spacer

You must be part Hunter because the second I laid eyes on you, I wanted to do you from behind.
There’s a special spot in the back you should always aim for on Hunters. She has a similar area. You’ll recognize it when you see it!

spacer

I don’t need a beacon because I already know my ultimate destination. And that’s right here with you.
Aaawww, so disgustingly sweet. Who the hell falls for lines like that anyways?

78 Responses to Top Ten Halo 3: ODST Pick-Up Lines

  1. LordOsiris says:

    Jesus. Is it sad that I would use one of these?

    • IcyTreats says:

      Nope, I’ve already used one of the normal Halo 3 ones with my GF :)

      • Marksman says:

        And your still with her?
        Just kiding. o.O

        • IcyTreats says:

          She thought they were sweet…Especially the bubble shield one :)

        • Luage says:

  2. Shirdel7221 says:

    Only problem is, I’m too young. Hurry up, June 13 2015.

    • awesomeman says:

      How old ARE you, anyway???

      • UnluckyIrish14 says:

        Yeah, I’m gonna go with the assumption (you know what they say about those) that their birthday is June 13, and that they turn 18 in 2015, SO, they’re probably 12 years old, maybe? (I’m 14, they’re just over two years younger than me, and yes, I know I’m smart, dammit.)

        • unimpressed says:

          LOL no so he can turn 12.

        • SK Cheesy says:

          I is waiting for july 23 2011 fors my 18thhhh

        • Marksman says:

          Wow, there are a surprising amount of 14’s on this site. Me, you, and about 10 other people I’ve seen announce their age. Yay for us!

        • IcyTreats says:

          I’m 16 :)

        • suicidalkanoka says:

          Yeah, so… Let me post my birthday so y’all can stalk me.

          And lol at childish humor attracts children. (Not dissing the blog, for ’tis good)

        • dfareaper @ bungie.net says:

          holy crap you guys make me feel old…. 3/2/88–you do the math XP my girl plays firefight right along side me, so its all good lol~

        • ablestmage says:

          Yikes. 11-01-77 here =P

    • Crazy A 64 says:

      Surely pick-up lines don’t have an age restriction, now off oyu go and hit on all those 12 year old ladies!

      • mike says:

        that is true

  3. “Plus, the conditions aren’t quite as hostile. Hopefully anyways.”
    Ever see that movie “Teeth?” Let’s hope it ain’t that.

    Anyways, lol.

    • SK Cheesy says:

      omg the killer vag rofl

  4. Louis Wu says:

    Oh, angel…

    angel, angel, angel…

    What are we going to do with you?

    You’re INCORRIGIBLE!

    (I lol’d)

    • Das Kalk says:

      you need to hang around here more often Wu!

      she’s been making Johnson jokes for weeks now!

      • bs angel says:

        There’s nothing better than a good Johnson.

        Joke, I forgot the word joke!

        • UnluckyIrish14 says:

          angel, do I need to take some soap to your mind?

        • bs angel says:

          It’s much too late for that!

        • Marksman says:

          We can see that.

    • suicidalkanoka says:

      Incorrigible? Yes, but also quite encourageable.

  5. yeah i enjoyed these a little too much too i think. ;)

    • IcyTreats says:

      Dont worry, we all do ;)

    • Phoenix66 says:

      Dont shoot anything pink. I loved that one.

      • InsaneViking says:

        *spoiler*

        shooting her pink would spoil her

  6. Tristan says:

    Hilarious!

    You should do articles like that more often, they’re incredible.

  7. EliteXDeath says:

    My gf laughed when I said the pistol is no match for my love for you. My love will make every one of them explode in a confetti.

    • Master Noob says:

      as long as you dont consider them actual dating material, you can relax :P :P. And HawtyMcB is that a typo just now? or was i up to late…
      ((Should that to be there?))
      It’s a well established fact || that some people |to| use Xbox Live as a|| dating service, focusing more on the potential real life score instead of the better chanced virtual game-related one.

      • bs angel says:

        Hhhmmm, I think I lost a word somewhere along the way. Regardless, fixed. And thank you!

  8. scottocs says:

    Hahaha, first time viewing this site, and it’s already amazing.

    My favorite were the “My Clothes” achievement, *eyeing the breastplate*.

    I’ll have to use these this weekend ;)

    Thanks :D

    • bs angel says:

      If you can handle this post, you should be ok with everything else as well. ‘Should be’ being the key words.

      Welcome! :)

  9. CurbStomp says:

    God, why can’t all women be like you Angel??

    • scottocs says:

      My woman is ;) I’m so lucky to have her too :)

      • HellCat says:

        so is mine, well not as morrbid as angel but most girls i know won’t even go near the subject of sex and crap like that. I’m so lucky i have someone to relate to :)

    • Shilalydawg says:

      No joke! If all women were like Angel, the world would be soooooo much better :D

  10. kornman00 says:

    omfg, this article made my day. Totally uncensored. I love it. props

    I’m a fireman baby, we can firefight all night long. Plus my “connection” doesn’t drop ;)

    (seriously, it doesn’t)

    • xLAS3RP01NT3Rx says:

      So you don’t have Connectile Disfunction?

      This article is pure win awesome sauce.
      Its so awesome, my head exploded into pink confetti.
      *Bleep Bloop*

      • Aklangi says:

        I lol’d

  11. Mono says:

    Lordy those are dirty. You must get laid all the time Angel.

  12. KalamariKidd says:

    Silly people, girls don’t play video games!!

  13. Rhamsey says:

    Writing these down as I read them.

  14. SonofMacPhisto says:

    ‘Hey baby, why don’t we make like Firefight and find another couple?’

  15. Mikey Rocks says:

    haha number 2 is pure win

  16. Exspartan 138 says:

    My girlfriend and I play all the time. I can’t wait to make her blush with a couple of these…she’ll most likely slap me. lol. these are great btw. About how long do you think it took you to finalize them?

  17. Black Theorem says:

    Angel, are you single?

    • Moni7or says:

      She’s married, last time I checked. (although she sure doesn’t think like it, haha)

      • bs angel says:

        Hey, married people need action too!

  18. Tyler says:

    Wow, something tells me only super slutty chicks would fall for those. Kinda explicit. xD

  19. IIII bRian IIII says:

    Oh Angel, you’re the reason I play Halo with a boner. It’s a tribute to you haha. And you can definetly bring this trophy home.

    • Chief says:

      It’s a “salute” XD

  20. Jason says:

    I got lucky and scored a hot halo chick from live but I wasn’t anticipating that, it just kinda happened, we clicked really well since we met in Feb 2009 and we seen eachother for the first time in august. flying back and forth cost too much to fly from maryland to kansas so we’re moving intogether in november and I didn’t even have to use any pick line to have access to the stink…..;) goodluck guys!

  21. Viktim says:

    I still can’t decide whether your husband is lucky or unfortunate…

    • bs angel says:

      Definitely a mix of both, although I’m not sure which side the emphasis lands on!

  22. Poopie McGhee says:

    these are amazing…

  23. GeneralCupcakes says:

    Win.

  24. Pingback: Top 10 Halo 3: ODST Pick-Up Lines | UNSC Corps.com

  25. HellCat says:

    slightly disturbingly funny. i’m fine with most of that. Is that the best you’ve got to sicken me Angel?

    Halo and sexual come ons are my speciality

    • InsaneViking says:

      As long as you don’t put it on your resume. Or if you did, plz post

  26. Tactful says:

    We’ll start out in the dead of night as rookies, exploring, discovering new controls and learning which tactics please us best. We’ll finish in the early hours of the morning; tired but happy, with plenty of newly gained ‘achievements’ under our belts.

    • Feared chicken says:

      lol

  27. But shooting the pink gets me my “Naughty Naughty” achievement. *winks*

  28. Zephyrus IX says:

    Oh christ, this is fuckin’ funny. The hunter one takes the cake.

  29. Tony Spock says:

    I imagine your hella fine angel lol?

  30. How Dare you!

    Although imagine that kind of situation in the Mombasa streets. The rain, darkness, and being distracted every once in a while to go slaughter some Grunts and stuff.

    Head-on. Apply directly to the forehead.

  31. newbanZo says:

    Your descriptions are worse than the lines themselves lol

  32. woohoo says:

    wow .. love the thought of sex talk with 12 and 13 year olds. Especially ones that teach young boys to expect oral sex.. because a 12 year old historically has no problem with taking no for an answer from his 12 year old partner.

    It’s obvious that maturity hits at around 11 years old, I dunno’ why noone see’s that (sorry 10 year olds, I’m sure some of you are mature too).

    That’s why Halo is a mature title, and not just an “18 and over” game.. because obviously maturity starts at around 9 and a half or so for most people.

    Sure wish there were smarter people writing those rules and stuff. Them and their tests, their sociology studies, their criminology studies, they’re all idiots that just need to wake up and see that maturity starts about 9.. well except for SOME folks.. you guys know what I mean.

    • Kraken says:

      I’ve never met anyone younger than 13 with any amount of maturity. They definitely shouldn’t be talking about sex until at least 16.

      • suicidalkanoka says:

        Different people are different, its that plain and simple. While certainly it takes many, many years to reach full maturity (if it is ever reached), the process starts at a younger age than many people generalize. Very young children lack an understanding of good and evil (or if so, then the shades in between are unknown), but as time progresses they are indoctrinated in the knowledge and comprehension of greater evils, greater value in good acts, and general morality along with maturity in dealing with various scenarios. While, (I reiterate) the process length in time varies from person to person according to environment (a conglomeration of variables), all people eventually mature.
        While I have not yet parsed Woohoo’s comment to full comprehension, I do believe what he is trying to say is that maturity is not sudden, that generalities by definition are not constantly true of individuals, and that maturity’s progression should not be impeded by lack of original stimuli (well, he might have thought that last part). I concur with him and do not agree with your opinion that ownership of maturity has and must continue to follow guidelines. If you attempt intelligent, mature conversation with young people, I think you may be surprised that at least a few have developed to a level beyond what some legal adults have obtained, even if they lack some standard tools to phrase and structure their thoughts.
        I do not pretend that many people in real life or any person on the Internet can be found entirely mature at any point in their lives, however, I do hold that any person willing to participate maturely in a conversation should be granted entry to do so should they desire.

        Yes, I am aware that if I have enough long, involved thoughts I wish to share, then I should create my own blog. No, I do not have any such intention.

    • TJRoots says:

      What have you been smoking?

      • iPurism says:

        Woah.

  33. SHFFLE says:

    LOLz. First time on this site. I officially need Halo 3 ODST :P this made this long day worthwhile.

    • DethPwn says:

      Damn it, you ruined it! :)

  34. Ashlee Cakes says:

    I got a good laugh out of these. I expect I’ll be hearing some in matchmaking sometime in the not too distant future.

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