Halo 3: OWST

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The Katonian Press: After Weekend Arkham Asylum Bender, Area Man Thinks He’s Batman

The Katonian Press, a regular offering brought to you by the evil genius and criminal mastermind behind the always scintillating WITFITS, will soon be your best source for weekly fake gaming news, assuming it’s not already. Grab a cup of coffee, open up The Katonian Press, and enjoy it for what it is: a satirical look at various things gaming-related.

After Weekend Arkham Asylum Bender, Area Man Thinks He’s Batman

batman: arkham asylumTwinsburg, Ohio – Friday afternoon, Twinsburg resident and video gaming enthusiast Tony Richmond stopped by his local Best Buy and picked up a copy of the latest comic-book-inspired title, Batman: Arkham Asylum.  Friends say he had “heard it was really good” and “wanted to check it out this weekend.”  Co-workers didn’t notice anything unusual about his behavior, he just seemed to be “glad it was Friday.”

Live-in girlfriend Kate recalls that he started playing shortly after coming home from work.  “He didn’t waste any time putting the disc in and checking it out.  He was using his teeth to rip off the plastic as he walked in the door–I barely got a kiss hello!”  From that point on, Kate says that her boyfriend hardly left the couch for the rest of the weekend.  “He got up a couple of times to pee–usually after he had died in-game or something–sprinting across the house to the bathroom and then back.  I don’t think he closed the door once!”  Apparently this wasn’t too unusual, however.  Tony loves his games and friends and family have confirmed that they don’t even bother trying to contact him when a new one comes out.

“I didn’t think this time was any different,” says Kate, with a sigh. “I sat down with him and watched him play for a bit.  He was engrossed.  Five minutes in or so he turned to me and narrowed his eyes, saying ‘I’m BATMAN’, in that gravelly kinda way–you know what I mean.  I laughed, it was cute.  He kept doing it, though, regularly throughout the night.  Got old after awhile so I ignored him.”

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Now That’s a Guitar Hero

guitar hero

Source [BuzzFeed]

Teletubbies Meets Left 4 Dead

The mere mention of a zombie apocalypse is enough to make the average person stop dead in their tracks. While it’s fun to devise various outlandish survival plans, imagine the reanimated corpses being replaced by Teletubbies and your good time is suddenly nothing short of a nightmare. Assuming the thought of the planet being infiltrated by large mindless colorful creatures excites you as much as it does me, you’ll enjoy this incredibly disturbing Left 4 Dead mod that changes all the common infected in the game to everybody’s favorite “eh-oh” saying children’s characters. I’m guessing these Teletubbies want to do a little more than just say hello. Especially that damn purple one.

*Thank you to VoltRabbit, who’s excited to have finally found a video game appropriate for his toddler, for the tip!

Grin + Bear It: Prepare To Drop

Are you looking for action, adventure and romance? Then go watch a film because this is a regular weekly offering to the gods of innuendo and lolz, brought to your face by the always funny Grin + Bear It. Read on as The Chief, Hayabusa and Recon (plus the occasional special guest) have more bollock-dangling fun than you can shake a boomstick at!

Grin + Bear It 3

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luke
luke [at] grinandbear [dot] it
http://www.grinandbear.it/

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