Friday Caption Fun, Round 63
September 18, 2009 98 Comments
After months of spine-tingling anticipation, Halo 3: ODST will finally hit retail shelves everywhere in a mere four days. I’ve been working with the assumption that I will be temporarily living in Firefight (after completion of the campaign of course), but the thought of the new multiplayer maps is suddenly quite tempting. While I debate the proper order of the exploration of ODST content, let’s recap the responses from a few weeks ago and then caption yet another Halo 3 screenshot. Fun fun!
- “After a joke about his alienhood made by the Chief, the Arbiter waited until the Chief had fallen asleep before measuring himself.” (newguy2445)
- “Why does he get the top bunk? I mean, he said ’shotgun’, but I actually have one… That counts…” (gunluva)
- “Despite their blatant heterosexuality, John was still unnerved when the Arbiter commented on his ‘mighty fine rack’!” (Tactful)
- “After drinking a lot of Covenant Ale before bedtime, the Arbiter is about to unleash his own ‘flood’ attack on Master Chief.” (JLay)
- *squeak* *squeak* *squeak* *squeak*
Arby: Chief! I know what you’re doing down there! Knock it off!
*silence*
*squeak* *squeak* *squeak* *squeak* (mendicantbias00) - “Yes John, I get it. You can see Uranus. Now please stop saying it and go to sleep!” (ZZoMBiE13)
Oh Master Chief, we’ll miss you while we’re off exploring the ruined city of New Mombasa. Hopefully you’re not quite as down and out as you look in the following screenshot though. Fret not for our paths will cross again soon. While we wait for that moment, I don’t think there’s a better time than now to slap a caption on this sucker. So get to it already!
Author: Unknown
I no can Haz Firefightz :’(
As the blood leaked from under the door Master Chief told himself that murdering the rookie was the only way to save his career.
OMIGOD WIN
Ultimate win!
Master Chief took a deep breath, as he tried to convince himself that murdering the Kool-Aid Man was the only way to save his career.
Master Chief is making the transition into womanhood, but the first time was a little traumatic…
that’s what I was going to post, worded differently ):
Unemployment was hard for the Chief, he found himself resorting to petty crime to make ends meet.
Sadly though the severity of his crimes quickly escalated.
Upon receiving a spike grenade to the ass..
–
Sick and tired of his conscious appearing in ‘mini-chief’ form, the Chief put an end to it, curb stomp style.
–
Having just murdered an UNSC officer the Chief attempted to discreetly cover up.
Upon the other side of this door lies the Goatse Man.
Unfortunately UNSC technicians did not think to include a solution to flatulence in the Spartan armour, during the several days the Chief had spent in his suit it had built up, eventually exploding in a rather painful manner.
–
After receiving a verbal insult from the Arbiter about his manhood, the Chief also waited until he was alone to measure up.
The Chief afterwards regretted having sex with Miranda Keys, that blood stain is all that remains of her.
O_.
Remaining perfectly still, the Chief hoped none of the passing Officers would notice him and his little accident.
At Deaths Door.
Its the first thing that came into my head.
“I shouldn’t have ate that big red candle…..”
Master Chief went into a spiraling deprssion, the only thing that brought joy to him was his raspberry jelly sculptures
Chief was so sick of seeing purple blood the whole time he decided to make some red blood. The results weren’t good
Changes and regrets
By HellCatNZ
Inspired by a powerful picture that told more words than I ever could
MasterChief opens the door and walks in. A loud gunshot is heard. He slips back out and slumps against the door saying “nothing to see here move along”. And as a small pool of blood gathers at the front of the door a single tear runs down MasterChief’s visor. What made the man is gone. Left behind to gather dust. Not a shiny new toy anymore nor a symbol of greatness. He had lashed out in anger and fear. Anger of being replaced and fear of disappearing. It wasn’t like him to do that its just he liked how life was. He was ashamed and regretted his bloody outburst. And to think his forced retirement was caused by a newcomer a ‘Rookie’ you could call him.
He went inside to clean up the mess, poured him self a drink and cried himself to sleep. Thinking, thinking, of the past and his questionable future. Not on the Forward Unto Dawn but here in the New Mombasa streets will his life end. “This is the way his world ends”.
Editors note: Sorry that its more of a screenshot story
THAT WAS COMPLETE AWESOME.
AND TEHN JOHN WAS A ALIEN
What goes in must come out…One way or another.
“The cheif realised chucking a grenade into a room of unarmoured marines wasn’t as good a prank as he thought….”
or
“Last nights curry really did burn on the way out”
<3 The Top One
“Must be first in line for ODST… Even I have to kill…”
*ODST Launch Night*
“Nobody wants to play with me anymore :_(“
Though the doctor said the bleeding was normal, the Chief couldn’t help but feel sad and alone!
Over the depression of ODST’s pending release, Master Chief tried drowning his sorrows with 13 deep fried candy bars. It did not end well.
The fact that Chief was having his period in the middle of a mission made some of the marines begin to question his gender.
hey, not all doors can hold themselves up!
When you are a Spartan, moonwalking into a door can have dire consequences,
“Master Chief’s re-enactment of the Billie Jean video was sadly overshadowed by his disastrous attempt at doing Thriller.”
“One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know…”
“It’s not easy, being green…”
— Steve
Oh come on Arby, let me in the room, why are you insecure when it comes to putting on your armor?
Miranda, done with the bathroom yet? I really have to pee.
The chief was sad when he found out that the beta for WORMS ARMAGEDDON maps was in him.
Hey Arby, I’m gonna need to borrow your plunger… sorry.
———–
I gave those Jehovah’s Witnesses plenty of warning, but they just wouldn’t leave me alone! *Sob*
“Won’t let me play stickball, huh? Well, I’ll show them…”
Master Chief didn’t see the point in finishing another fight if Bungie would pay attention.
___
After walking in on the rookie in the bathroom, John wondered why his wasn’t that big
I was gonna luv it and hug it and squeeze it…..
Damn so that’s what happens if I step on it!
Now I’m depressed. Anyone have some Xanax ?
Dead Splinter Chief Space
“Le sigh”
“Now that I’ve taken care of that “Rookie” problem, I can have Nathan Fillion all to myself…”
Sadly it took the Chief until now to realize he could now see his legs. He decided shooting at his foot would tell him if they had really upped the realism. Long story short, Bungie was ruled not liable. And Stosh is on the other side of the door.
____________________________________
*pop*
*turns around and goes through the door*
I just wanted to tell you both good luck, we’re all… oh my. That blow-up doll is incredibly realistic.
er, what’s left of him (applies to both actually)
1. “Chief… your the only one capable of preventing an early release. I need you to stand guard here until Tuesday.” – Sarge
2. *After being arrested for walking around outside the Bungie studio wielding a very large rifle*
After spending 10 hours in the bathroom, John will never again eat the Arbiter’s cooking
For the first time, John was an outcast. The ODSTs had not picked him to play in their Fire Fight games.
The chief was nonchalant, even though his foot was stuck in the door
“Chief, what’s happening?… um yeeeaaaahhhh, I’m gonna need you to come in tomorrow. Ok Chief? greattt. Oh and Ahh, I’m also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too. We have a few people trying to release ODST early and we need you to stand guard. mmmm kay?” – Lumberg
“oh and about your TPS reports, did you get the memo?”
John felt the sharp pains and running blood… looks like the door hit him a little to hard in the ass on the way out of Microsoft.
No matter how much colours Bungie used for the armour, none of them make me look like the Chief
Lonely, I am so lonely…
Stupid Arbiter makes me look fat, well he’s not so great, he doesn’t even have a full mouth!
Some i should have put my other comment;
“It ain’t easy being green”
________________________________________
“After the stress of saving the universe, john became a hobo. Please, spare him some change ”
_________________________________________________
“The Dentist,………. no one likes it!!”
__________________________________________
“After all the name calling John proved he could, still, see his toes”
____________________________________________________
“7 seven foot tall nuclear powered 1 ton armour wearing alien killing super men have feeling’s too you know!!”
Uh… guys? Can you let me in?
“The Chief was devestated when Bungie said he couldn’t wear Recon because it ‘wasn’t canon’.”
Kanye would later regret interrupting this particular acceptance speech…
When people started spouting “Go Green” Propaganda, Chief decided to try a little druidic sacrifice. The hippies were not impressed.
Hey! Open up!
What’s the password?
Password? Oh man, I forgot.
Forgot… what?
I forgot the password.
See, that was almost right. Uh, see, the password begins with “I forgot”, but ends differently. Um, try again.
No. I mean, I forgot the password.
No, okay, see, you – you got it wrong again. See, you said the same thing as last time.
Teamster Labor Union hard at work for you!
http://www.suicidegirls.com/DaCheEf
Once ODST was announced and the spotlight was taken off of Master Chief, he was officially kicked out of Bungie to live on the streets.
Chief’s Retirement Party: The aftermath. Partying with the Brutes definitely leaves one worse for wear.
—
MC: “No Angel I don’t need consoling.”
MC’s ‘casual’ look wasn’t as inconspicuous as ONI would’ve liked…
The Master Chief had 3 options upon discovering that Bungie were dropping him.
1) Kick more ass-Failed (already at the pinnacle of ass-kicking potential).
2) Mope around elicit sympathy-Failed (hard to feel sorry for a 7 foot tall supersoldier).
3) Sleep with Urk.
Chief told them the slingshot wasn’t ready.
The jar was a bad idea.
If you get the reference, I feel your pain.
Emo-Chief cuts himself when no one’s around.
After the release of Halo 3: ODST, the Master Chief was depressed because no-one cared about him anymore.
Unfortunately the Gym teacher underestemated the spartans’ response to getting caught smoking by the storage shed. He was never seen again.
chief learned to sleep standing up… and loved to demonstrate it by saying “Wake Me When You Need Me.”
Quote from Cortana, “Did you just kill all of those people?”
“Film Nior, your doing it wrong!”
just gotta love the blood splatter by his feet…
“Well EVERYBODY HURRRRTS SOMETIMES, EVERYBODY CRIIIIIES”
or
Chief didn’t take the news of the marriage ceremony of the Triumph Settlers nearly as well as Malcolm Reynolds.
“Ok.. so the idea of putting Griswald apples in the barracks wasn’t as funny as it sounded at the time… sigh, Johnson will never let me live this one down.”
…Yes I know… two Firefly references… so what?!
When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.
John vomits up last night’s memories.
I shouldn’t have done that…
hey baby…
oh yeah, your cool!
‘sup?
i am exhausted!
sleepin’ on the job, eh?
yes, hang thine head in shame, for thou were stuck by a grunt!
arby’s really is bigger!
Um, where is your other hand?
john in the office.
yep.yup.u-huh.yep.
i can’t believe i just did that…
so there i was, kickin it all cool-like, when dis fool da arbiter comes and calls top bunk!
man, that grunt really put up a fight!
“Marines, get to the bridge, the Chief’s gone rampant!” The Chief did his best to hold the door closed, for he knew that the Marines, led by Sergeant Johnson, were sadly invincible.
“The things I’ve beaten; things most people have never heard of, and now I’m going to be done in by this.” Unfortunately, Chief Constantine had been diagnosed with lung cancer after coughing up blood and visiting the hospital, and was only given a few months to a year to live.
riding trains is my hobo life, an if i see you with my hobo wife, i’ll stab you with my hobo knife!
chaaaaaaanngggeeee!
got any smokes?
all by myyyyseellllf, yes i’m allll byyy myyysseeeellllffff!
emo-chief is just a goth wanna-be. we all know he went to tenis camp.
He woke up 9 hours later with an empty bottle of beer next to his bed and the rookie’s bloodstained helmet on his stomach.
*WHOOM*
Uh, maybe I should have signed up for “touch” Grifball
By the way, that *whoom* sound could either be a gravity hammer or a body hitting the door, whatever floats your boat
When his luck finally ran out, and after BS Angel spent the night with the Rookie, the Chief’s codpeice (and ‘whatever’ was in it) was the only thing Angel wanted to remember him by.
Dunno….gotta love rushed and crappy attempts at something….
after Master Chief and Angel’s first time, he sat outside the bedroom door and considered what he’d done….
When xXpwnxMeister187Xx said he was gonna rape me, I didn’t think he meant it literally!
Cue Linkin Park.
How about some crappy-assed emo music? *cough*Fall Out Boy*cough*
Try as he might, the Chief realized he could not hold back bs angel behind that door forever.
“Cut”, said the director as the Chief, playing Macbeth in the Macbeth, spartan edition, forgot the dual Spartan lasers in the room. He claims they weren’t in the room but they were indeed there”
I win the nerdy award :P
NOW the fight is finished!
Master Chief (in changin room): Shhhh, i told u to leave ur suit out there!!
Arbiter: I would never pass as an ODST!
Master Chief: Well, now we know who’s not getting into the new game, do we?
Arbiter. Come help. My foot’s stuck in the door.
(pushes against door) ” Must…get…to…..Recon storage!’
Master Chief took a deep breath, as he tried to convince himself that murdering the Kool-Aid Man was the only way to save his career.
—–
“My God… I’m a tomato!”
—–
When your MJOLNIR-powered grip can crush a brute’s windpipe and tear apart Banshees, Masturbation becomes a lot more dangerous…
—–
John discovers the fastest way to Miranda’s heart; Straight through her ribcage!
—–
The horrible, bloody aftermath of getting an erection whilst wearing impenetrable armour.
—–
Once every month John has an epic battle with his own personal ‘flood’.
—–
Listen Hawty, I’m happy for you, and imma let you finish, but Friday Caption Fun Round 62 had one of the funniest screenshots of all time!
Chief was glad he had made it out of the room before the grenade went off, but then realized he had slammed the door on his buddy’s face… slumping to the floor and facepalming soon followed.
I can’t believe no one has lef this one yet:
“Do NOT go in there, WHEEEEEW!!!”
“Brother, can you spare a BR?”
“Y’all don’t look like yer from ’round these parts… Best turn back where y’all came from…”
Shortly after the explosion John realized that the “Fire-in-the-hole” pranks he used to pull on Mc Donalds as a child didn’t work so well on a spaceship.
After the release of Halo 3: ODST, Master Chief turned to prostitution to make ends meet. His ass will never feel the same again.
MASTER CHIEF IS NO PROSTITUTE GODDAMNIT!
lol. just had to say that.
Stopping the Rookie flattening the Chief with a door required more backbone than neccesary.
And THAT’s how you keep recon exclusive…