Friday Caption Fun, Round 60
August 21, 2009 104 Comments
Normally I use this block of text to inform you of the current double EXP playlist of choice along with any Halo-specific plans I may have for the weekend but considering I’m currently vacationing at the beach, I’ve got nothing beyond telling you how glorious it is to feel the sand between my toes again. Instead of torturing you with more things you don’t want to hear, how about we go over last week’s rather witty responses and then we can caption yet another Halo 3 screenshot? Off we go!
- “Master Chief had defeated his Mirror Universe self, but at a grave cost.” (Pete Cooper)
- “Horatio couldn’t believe what he was seeing; two dead supersoldiers adrift at sea. He was so lost for words that as he slowly and deliberately removed his glasses in a dramatic swipe, all he could think to say was, ‘Looks like these two went swimming a little too soon after lunch.’” (Das Kalk)
- “Final testing phase is successful for the new Mjolnir Mark 7 floating armor.” (Captain Spark)
- “Sadly, these two Spartans learned all too late that the Halo Corpse Alphabet had already been completed. Their nearly perfect “M” was tragically for naught.” (Iago 462)
- “Cmon guys, we all want a waterbed. But this is ridiculous.” (ZZoMBiE13)
- “Upon this night, two star-crossed lovers from two rival teams consummate their love for eternity. This is the tale… of Romeo & Blueliet!” (Tactful)
Was there ever a tale as tragic as Romeo and Blueliet? While their relationship certainly seemed destined for failure, if the two weapons in the following screenshot can figure out a way to be together, I think the star-crossed lovers can too. Speaking of which, look at that rather awesome duel wield combo. While it would spell nothing but instant death for me, perhaps it means something else to you. Maybe you can tell me in the form of a caption!
Author: Depar Repad
The UNCS’s latest development in redundant and inefficient weaponry: the M58 SSR SPNKr-L Rocket Launcher Launcher.
Two Barrels Good, Four Barrels Better!
In an effort to become the ultimate rocket whore, blue team member replaced his left arm with an enlarged Rocket Launcher.
Compensation, he has it.
Blue player’s inability to follow the “Attention” diagram will result in a suicide in 3..
“Listen Bill, I don’t care how many times you deny it, 2 is always better then 1.”
Blueliet was given two choices, remain the rest of her life with Romeo, or duel wield two Rocket Launchers. It’s safe to say Romeo won’t be getting any explosive action tonight.
Sweet Romeo, you left no single drop of poison ‘pon your lips for me to kiss? I shalt meet you in the next life then, by DOUBLE-ROCKET SUICIIIIIIIDE!!!
Blueliet was given two choices, remain the rest of her life with Romeo, or dual wield two Rocket Launchers. It’s safe to say Romeo won’t be getting any explosive action tonight.
Just noticed spelt dual wrong =P
The unsc’s attempt to refit the mark lV with “mountable surface to air missile launchers”
ended in disaster when it encountered friendly fire issues.
Jealous by how popular Steve had become, blue spartan thought he’d try duel wielding himself. Needless to say, he’s no ODST…
Awesome blog by the way :)
In an attempt to kill more reds, Blue Spartan resorted to the ODS-Steve tactic
Due to being fed up of his laggy connection, Blue Spartan thought that a “little” more firepower would would be needed.
“would would be needed”?
Is that supposed to be some sort of lag meta-joke? ;)
:D yup
The more, the better.
FullMetal Alchemist would be proud.
A helmet-mounted rocket launcher seemed like a great idea at the time, until he discovered what the kickback does to neck vertebrae.
“Bungie finally got fed up with people asking for dual wielding with every weapon. Now everyone’s inner noob has come out to play… and spawn camp.”
These are MY Boomsticks!!!
“Who’s over-compensating now, eh Red?! WHO’S OVER-COMPENSATING NOW?!”
“steve, this is getting ridiculous”
After seeing the Fallout 3 Fat Man Launcher, Blue feels the need to over-compensate.
That moment, a new form of martial arts was created. Steve-quando.
the extra large spanker is just what she needed to push it over the top
Achieving peace through superior firepower was something that Blue honestly believed in…until he caught that damn sniper’s bullet right between the eyes.
“Dammit Steve what did we say about duel wielding!?”
I know what your thinking, but that is not the reason. The real reason is just for insurance that’s all.
———
Bet ya can’t blast it?
———
Rocket beats rock anytime.
———
Seeing how the spartan laser can destroy a tank in one shot, Spartans tried to up the rocket launcher’s fire power to match the laser.
“4 barrels of fun, here we come!”
“Iz duelwielding ur rocketz, kawsing joo greef”
“Bungie’s new ideas to reinvigorate the Halo 3 multiplayer fan-base were a bit, over the top”
Come on punk, MAKE MY DAY.
While the SPNKr had been named after its intended function, the larger WNKr was named after its operator.
That actually made me laugh out loud. :)
me too :)
Bungie’s attempt to pay homage to Silent Hill 2 by adding the “SPNKR-Head” MJOLNIR variant has been met with much approval from fans of both series.
“Got SPNKr?”
Don’t worry Blue..
“It’s not the size. It’s how you use it.”
Man! That Katana looks AWESOME!
Iron Man got an upgrade =D
Blue team had finally made rockets light enougth to duel wield. Unfortunatly it involved removing the ammo.
Ahhh…I see the new MLG variants are out…
~B.B.
1
A lame attemt to copy the series: Chronicles of ODS Steve.
2
Steve: bbzzzzZZZZ KABOM……….WTF, where did my lazers go?!?!………..And what are those SPNKr things?……. THIS SUCKS! I´m outa here.
At bs angel’s request, Blue upped his barrel size.
Bigger is always better.
It takes two to tango.
Perfect against those goddang jumpers.
This can NOT be good for his scoliosis.
*psst! one of them fires blanks!*
HA! Suck on THAT lollipop red!
Steady…aim..and.. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!??!?
Yes blue, hide your face in shame, for you have committed the ultimate sin, dual wielding rockets!
Man, if one rocket launcher is considered a noob weapon, what can this be?
Rookie: Spanker? Sponkro? Spinkir? Sponkra? Chief: Dude, their just letters, lay off of it!
Where does he keep the ammo?
Say hello, to my little friend! Now say hello, to his larger, angrier friend!
*click* Oh shi-BOOM!
That recoil has to be killer.
*psst! One of em’s a can opener!*
Red: Isn’t that a little overboard for policing bodies? Blue: No, I don’t think so. Nope, definently not.
ODS Steve would be proud…
nobody reads this far down… so i can say unfunny things..
attempting to be as cool as Bruce Campbell doesn’t work with a SPNKr
*EDIT…* attempting to be as cool as Bruce Campbell works with a SPNKr as well as a chainsaw
Sadly, amigo, some people -do- read down here. Hang your head in shame, buddy. All must be funny entries for this blog.
(hangs head in shame) oh well…
btw the edit was a reference to evil dead.. see, this was the bottom yesterday… i was unaware that it’d be the middle in 24 hours
Those checkens be jockin’ my style.
Bungie finally unveiled their new, updated design for a man-cannon, highlighting the manliness more than the cannon-ness
Dual Wield!
Spnker Jr. was excited for his first day of combat and was wondering who his first kill would be. But when Blue spartan came to pick him up Spnker Sr. insisted on coming along for his son’s first day. Blue spartan then thought of how badass he would look duel wielding rockets and more than willingly accepted.
It seems ODS Steve has found a worthy opponent…
L33T H4X, Tim!
Forget MLG! We’ll be Pro in Rocket Race! Whad’ya mean it’s discontinued?(R.I.P Rocket Race)
i loved rocket race… is it really gone? i havent played in forever…
Urgh, i hated rocket race. Too many people think, “oh look, a cliff.”, and then I just hear “Betrayal”.
Glad it’s gone.
i guess i never played with them… oh wait… I DID THAT…. i have an excuse tho… i can’t drive
(OR) i knew my driver and we were messing with the other ppl.. hahaha
BTW… Thanks for an answer marksman
More bang for your buck!
Ashamed of their small biceps, Blue team found a new way to show off their guns.
ODS Steve makes an appearance in Halo 3 multiplayer. I guess no Splazers were to be found.
This blues things are just too big to handle. And that’s just the SPNK-r!
Despite all of the explosions and the searing hot desert weather, Blue Spartan still gave me the cold shoulder.
—–
“My multiplayer tactics are simple. First I fire a rocket at them, and if that doesn’t work, I fire another rocket at them. Then I hit them with my sword!”
—–
It was halfway through lining up all the Chinese players when Blue Spartan began to question the moral implications of the latest addition to the matchmaking roster; Rocket Racism!
—–
How do you put a Spartan baby to sleep? You have 2 rocket!
—–
How do you get a Spartan woman over a tall barrier? You have 2 launcher!
—–
The ‘Pirate versus Ninja’ debate came to a halt following the birth of Cap’n’ Katanabeard, Scourge of the Seven Halos!
—–
Blue Spartan really needed to work on his one-liners. Epitaphs like “EXPLOSIVE DIE-ARRHEA!” and “I’M ABOUT TO SPUNKR ALL OVER YOUR FACE, TWICE!” were in desperate need of radical improvement!
—–
Blue Spartan’s teammates could tell something was up… It was almost as if a heavy weight rest upon his shoulders…
—–
Unfortunately for Blue Spartan’s shattered skull fragments, the UNSC Advanced Explosives course doesn’t cover Recoil.
—–
After spotting him walking around sporting a Rocket Launcher, Blue Spartan’s Girlfriend made the sexy and ultimately fatal mistake of asking Blue Spartan to “Blow [her] away with his other huge cannon!”
—–
What do you call a man with one rocket launcher?
Prepared.
What do you call a man duel-weilding two rocket launchers in the heat of battle?
Retarded.
—–
In the Halo-verse, ex-Vice President Dick Cheney’s hunting accident was a lot more deadly…
The ‘Pirate versus Ninja’ debate came to a halt following the birth of Cap’n’ Katanabeard, Scourge of the Seven Halos!
That’s Really Funny…
Okay, flame me. I’m doing another ODS Steve reference. Shoot me.
“After reading the ODS Steve comics, Blue decided to try dual-wielding Spartan Lasers out. Needless to say, he kinda screwed something up. Red told Blue that Steve was actually dual-wielding Rocket Launchers.”
1 Guy 4 Barrels.
“Whaddya mean that auditions for the G.I. Joe movie are over!?”
“Shh. Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.”
Why dual-wield swords, when you can dual-wield rockets?
WTF!? Since when were SPNKr’s upgraded to make Spartans S#@t themselfs!?
“After several unfortunate accidents ODST Steve was forced to include a disclaimer stating that they are not responsible for injuries sustained trying to duplicate the comic.”
“He may have given the red team all their vehicles, but at least he tries to clean up after himself.”
“He must have misunderstood the meaning of SPNKR”
“He’s definitely compensating for something.”
“Inside every large weapon is a smaller one trying to claw its way out, but its very rare that they succede.”
“The Cloud approach to ridiculously large weaponry has never been replicated with Rockets… Until now”
“Much like Cloud, he is trying to draw attention away from his ‘deficient equipment’”
“Normal people use larger weapons when they want to feel better about how small they are. This spartan needs to hold larger weapons so that he seems smaller by comparison. BS angel must love him.”
“The newest Mech Warriors will feature several unique skins, including the SPARTAN model, which has an extra large shoulder mounted rocket.”
“Much like Drivers Ed, the people at Basic Training have decided to show the class cideos of what happens when you misuse the equipment. You don’t even want to know what happens next.”
“Halo: Legends takes dual weilding a little to far…”
Consistency is the key to winning all batles, so let’s just hope that his SPKNr gets consistently bigger…
While trying to create a jetpack he had seen some awesome Spartans using, Blue-tard realized that he had forgotten to alter the instructions on the side.
(sucks, I know, but I’m outta ideas)
Double the gun, double the fun.
Hawty, you twit, stop stealing my fantasies!
Upon seeing the four Warthogs, all full of murderous Reds, racing towards him, Blue 4 could be forgiven for the underpant accident before firing the trigger.
One word: Heaven.
Quadruple SPNKRs=Awful domestic troubles.
Frank didn’t think the sword on his back was compensating enough.
I’m dual wielding rocket launchers… Your argument is invalid…
Sorry, I can’t think of a good caption for this shot; my personal reaction is getting in the way.
Mwah-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *fwoosh-fwoosh! * *fwoosh-fwoosh!*
— Steve
Well, it looks like somebody is compensating for something…
when the reds heard that blue was dual wielding rockets, they were thrilled, because that meant he couldn’t use that damn katana.
Hey, Blue,. why do you have the Master Chief’s dangle on your shoulder… oh wait… nevermind. That’s too small.
Ones for showin’, ones for blowin.
Unable to make the choice between the Regular or Supersized combo Blue just decided to get both from the McWeapons store.
In that instant, hundreds of players hid behind the elephants.
Blue Spartan refused to let hunters be the only ones with cannons attached to them
“They’ll have to glue you back together……in HELL!”
(free *VIRTUAL* plate of cookies for whoever gets this reference)
The SPANKr Dual-Wieldable Power! Now with Two Times the spanking power! Billy Mays approved!
Oops, get rid of that first “Power”. I blame lags, and bungle.
Jimmy heard Bungie recently released an update that allows the player to dual-wield rocket launchers, so he went to test it out.
Dual-wielding has reached new heights. Next up, dual swords, slazers, and hammers.
sorry don’t know if this one’s been said yet
“ODS Steve’s brother, Frank, went on to become a SPARTAN, but you can still see the family resemblance in many of their mannerisms.”
oh no, it appears there are more Steve references, worded differently tho. also someone else used the name Frank for this guy… creepy
“hehehee… the left one’s bigger!”
“Why have only one construct, when you can have two for twice the price?”
“To our detriment, he’s not really dualwielding, the Katana gnomes are doing that.”
“Such raw power can Jettison constructs into space far away from your Genocidal-FloodTouting-ForeRunner-Artifact!”
“Steve’s comrades never prevented him about dual-wielding Rocket Launchers.”
I know this caption comment is a bit late but here it is:
“I f8cking hate spiders!”
halo reach:everythings dual weildable
‘The hack to dual-wield the SPNKr was not what alerted the BanHammer, but the hack to enlarge the left SPNKr wasn’t left unoticed.’
Who gave Steve the keys to the armory?
My gun’s bigger!
The Blue Team discovers Epic-tier weaponry.
Oddly enough it fires tank rounds instead of rockets…
It was only a matter of time after the introduction of the RC Warthog that Blue Team presented their RC Rocket Launcher.
Incidentally, Blue Spartan also has a huge penis.
With the release of H3: ODST, Bungie gave fans the ability to customise their armour to an extreme extent.
Wow, I had no idea anyone had even seen this!
P.S. I took this pic long before Steve showed up.
Beat you to it Bungie!!!!!!!