Friday Caption Fun, Round 59
August 14, 2009 83 Comments
While I may have a love-hate relationship with Grifball, I have nothing but pure, unadulterated adoration for the current Double EXP playlist of choice. The flavor of the weekend is Team Flag and I appreciate it more than ever with the recent loss of Team Objective. Needless to say I have an abundance of poles waiting for a good polishing, and you have a screenshot that needs captioning. Let’s go over last week’s responses and then you can have at it!
- “Sick and tired of the Elites’ unfair advantage when it comes to sniping, the Spartan turned to drastic actions.” (newguy2445)
- “Finally! With this new body, it is I, Krang, who shall rule the universe! ” (Pete Cooper)
- “Deciding that being able to play as Johnson in Firefight wasn’t enough, the marketing division decided on another promotional item with the pre-order of ODST: ODST-themed codpieces! ” (dragnew)
- “Luckily for Blue Spartan, this wasn’t the first time he’d woken up to find a mysterious head bobbing up and down on his crotch.” (Tactful)
- “In the world of Karma, he learned to never again pop off the heads from his Lego men.” (Mizzy)
- “Quaid, release your mind!” (DeepCee)
- “I guess he really DOES do all his thinking down there!” (snorkle256)
- “Halo3: ODST. Prepare to… Drop. 9-29-09″ (ZZoMBiE13)
I’ve been prepared … for the past ten months! I’m sure you have too. While we wait for the last six weeks to pass, what better activity to burn some of that time than captioning another screenshot? Instead of torturing you with an ODST-themed one though, this time around we’re going for something a bit more classic, Red vs. Blue-ish if you will. I have no idea which direction you’ll go with this, and there’s only one way to find out. Off you go!
Author: NYC Blackout
Upon falling in love with each other, they were swiftly killed by the Guardians.
Caboose often dreams of the moment where he and Sarge float down the river of love.
Unable to find the last remaining blue Spartan, Red decided to end his misery and commit suicide, unable to find the last remaining red Spartan, Blue decided to join him.
Red was overjoyed when Blue finally came.
“In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, ’til death do us part.”
“Who said getting drunk was a bad idea!?”
Upon finding out that their beloved purple spartans won’t be accepted into the MLG playlist, the expecting couple promptly passed out.
Master Chief had defeated his Mirror Universe self, but at a grave cost.
♪ I wanna hold your hand… ♪
…Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. The end.
Blue: “Ever wonder what’s out there?”
Red: “like what?”
Blue: “maybe someone out there is wondering what it’s like here”
Red: “I guess… Do you think We’ll ever meet them?”
Blue: “I hope so…”
Never let go Jack! I’ll never let….. Zzzzzzz
Aww damnit you beat me to it.
Fossilized records show that in fact, not all red was vs. blue. As we can see in this case, these two were gay for each other.
“Mummy, why are those two men holding hands?
Because they love each other.”
“During their team building exercise, the two spartans misinterpreted the instruction to make a raft together. There is, however, no denying that it’s worryingly effective.”
I got nothing this week. :(
Yeah, I had that problem too, resulting in some pretty crap captions.
The trick is expanding the screenshot. You can only think of captions involving two characters somehow in love, or next to each other. Think outside the box. Any stock Red vs Blue-esque caption will work, puns on colours, puns on death, puns on rivers… Hell, puns on just about anything!
There were some initial problems with Jet Li’s costume in Romeo Must Die 2, but in the final cut they gave him Recon…
all’s fair in love and war.
that was a great 47 seconds.
and so, red and blue enter a forbidden relationship.
but, ar luv iz furbiddenz!
blue: whew,you really charged my laser. Red: eh, you were okay.
blue: i love you. Red: i also love juice.
oh!oh! that cloud looks like a bunny!
if the fingers interlock, your going too far!
creepy ass sodomists.
scary thoughts, scary thoughts.
red: oh, and im pregnant. Blue:(pretends to be asleep)
oh yeah,we met up in the lobby, and we’ve been together for the whole half an hour since!
this is me, and this is stalin. we’re married!
babies aren’t like fires, you can’t rub two sticks together and *poof!*.
and so, purple team is conceived.
Your post is much funnier if you read it as a story rather then random sentences.
We knew caboose and donut got on well, but not that well
There’s always a lazy way to do something, travel is no exception
Who needs a boat when you have an oddly floating corpse?
The simease twins may be similar in every way, but for some reason they can’t decide on a team
Before the two spartans got down to buisness this palce was bone dry… Bow Chicka Bow Wow
Never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.
(those are the last two lines of the play…. I think…)
———————————————————
Horatio couldn’t believe what he was seeing; two dead super-soldiers adrift at sea. He was so lost for words that as he slowly and deliberately removed his glasses in a dramatic swipe, all he could think to say was; “looks like these two went swimming a little too soon after lunch”.
LOL, i fuckin hate that guy!
“…It doesn’t matter, they’re just colours…”
Das…I love you.
I thought those lyrics came from a Dire Straights song?
Horatio is the king of corny one-liners.
“Looks like if you mix red and blue… You get… Double homocide!”
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
“Looks like… These colours… Shouldn’t have been mixed!”
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
“Cry me a river… Of blood!!!”
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
“Looks like they broke each other’s hearts… And then each other’s necks!”
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Red: “Say, what’s that ominous sounding waterfall sound?”
Blue: “Go to happy place, go to happy place!”
“Simmons, if I die, I want you to have my orange juice…”
do you think Church will be mad? i don’t know, but Simmons is gonna be jealous
Longshore’s Lazy River Ride quickly became an unexpected fan favorite.
“Fah who rah-moose
Dah who dah-moose
Christmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp”
Yeah, I went all whoville on it.
“Cmon guys, we all want a waterbed. But this is ridiculous.”
I’m gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight. Gonna grab some afternoon delight. My motto’s always been, when it’s right, it’s right… Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
find the heart <3
Blue: “Well…. That’s never happened to me before.”
Red: “What, the eight seconds of sex or the forty minutes of crying?”
Blue: “Well, I suppose both.
“Wow, you’re right. These mineral springs ARE quite relaxing.”
Tryouts for the new “Weekend at Bernie’s Twin Brother’s” movie were just beginning
Row row row your boat gently down the stream…
You know, I think sunbathing in the middle of a river would work better if we took our armor off.
==
Did it just get warmer…?
==
I don’t think this is what Miranda had in mind when she said to go with the flow.
Ok red, ten more minutes, we really need to get back to the match.
————-
On a recent kayaking trip to Valhalla, both red and blue finally realized that the constant rolling over was caused by their armor.
————-
I’m sorry I broke your surfboard dude.
Wonder twin powers active!
The UNSC SpecWeapons department was promptly fired after field tests showed that not plasma, not the vacuum of space, not parasitic alien lifeforms, but WATER would disable the Mark VI armor completely.
Blue: Ever wonder what’s out there?
Red: Like what?
Blue: Maybe someone out there is wondering what it’s like here?
Red: I guess… Do you think We’ll ever meet them?
Blue: “I hope so…I’m getting really tired of the gay jokes…
I give the relationship two weeks. Or two minutes, if Caboose gets his hands on a weapon.
Nothing can stop true love-even an armoured inch-thick codpiece.
After the enormous success of Firefight, Bungie progressed to an even more intense and furious battle: Spartan marriage.
Blue: The sky…it’s so beautiful. The way Halo curves around like an omnipotent god, proclaiming its majesty and power…
Red: Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
This picture is the first instance where the Covenant got an insight into humanity. In light of this new evidence, the UNSC apologised for preventing a just extermination.
Blue: I sure hope this new battle armor is rust proof!
Red: Yeah ’cause if not… we are gonna be here for a long time!
Blue: Kinda like the Tin Man?
Red: Yup!
Naps
Your doing it right.
White Spartan Rafting
Two teams, both alike in Halo 3,
In fair Valhalla, where we lay our scene.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,
A pair of star crossed lovers take their lives.
Sorry, couldn’t help it. :D
Final testing phase is successful for the new Mjolnir Mark 7 floating armor.
I… can’t… quit… you…
I think we’re supposed to do snow angels when it’s cold.
CERN’s new “halo themed” explanation of matter and anti-matter didn’t… go over so well.
“We should have know that putting BS Angel on Purple team was a bad Idea; now her betrayals go both ways.”
Hhhmmm, excellent point. I could double my kills if that actually happened!
“Do you think our love can take us away together?”
Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?
Timon: Pumbaa, I don’t wonder; I know.
Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?
Timon: They’re fireflies. Fireflies that, uh… got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything’s gas.
OMG!!!! I so saw that too… Decided to go with the Halo 3 Trailer scene instead cause i couldn’t figure out how to remove simba completely
Floating down the river with a case of beer and a loved one. Ahh life.
Red: Sooo…
Blue: Yeah…
Red: I think we lost our raft back in the Rapids…
Best date ever!
“Their love was forbidden…”
“What happens in Vegas…”
What is love? Baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more.
*sigh* “Does anyone have a pair of 3D glasses?”
Winner.
…Put together, at least they still have two kidneys.
After 500+ years, finally the President of the united states has joined the two parties, one red, and one awesome.
Inter-color love is frowned upon in the UNSC. Very frowned upon.
Red- “I bet if we die holding hands and fall into this stream, we’ll make it onto Hawtymcbloggy’s Caption game.”
Blue- “Your on!”
What about his ‘on’? :O
Ebony… Ivory… living in perfect harmony….
RED: Don’t tell me, we’re about to go over a huge waterfall.
BLUE: Yep.
RED: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
BLUE: Most likely.
RED: Bring it on.
______
“What the world needs now…. is love, sweet love”
______
Sadly, these two Spartans learned all too late that the Halo Corpse Alphabet had already been completed. Their nearly perfect “M” was tragically for naught.
<3
“All you need is love, love, love. Love is all you need.”
I’d like to see an F-22 try this!
Red: “I see a bunny, what do you see?”
Blue: “Wraith Mortar.”
*BOOM*
Some say love… is a frag grenade, some say love… is a dooouuuble kill…
Romeo and Juliet, Spartan style
wait, they should make a sex move called spartan style! ha!
…but take the red spartan, and you will awaken to your horrible reality!
let go of my hand.
damn super glue.
red: take my hand! blue: queer.
oh yeah, we met on the internet!
little did red know, blue had slipped GHB into her drink.
red: so, what do you want in life? blue: kids. red: um, i’ll be right back.
If you look closely, the space between them is shaped like a heart.
IS LLAMA TIME, BITCHES!
See, to me, it look’s like underwear, but that’s just my dirty mind in action o.O
It’s unfair to make Siamese twins choose sides.
“Shh, shh, don’t wake them up. Alright, give me the camera. This is so going on facebook!”
“I won’t let go, Jack. I won’t let go…”
“Uh… you realize we’re in 6 inch deep water, right?”
Ugh, that was terrible. I’m getting worse and worse at these lol
“Is that cirro-cumulus or cumulo-nimbis?”
“It looks like a bunny.”
Red: I still can’t see it.
Blue: You gotta tilt your head. It’s called abstract art for a reason.
—————-
Super-glue on the hand doesn’t seem so funny now, does it?…
—————-
Unfortunately, their application for domestic partnership was denied.
—————-
And Blue said to Red, “Let there be purple” and it was so, and he saw that it was good.
—————-
Red: I love you.
Blue: About that….
—————-
Well, someone’s gonna have to explain this to our parents.
—————-
Not great, but all I could think of at the moment.
How all Halo 3 marriages end up….dead.
“…And that cloud look a lot like a plasma grenade!”
—–
It was the perfect evening; Blue read whilst Red blew!
—–
Upon this night, two star-crossed lovers from two rival teams consomate their love for eternity… This is the tale… Of Romeo & Blueliet!
—–
Blue Spartan would do anything he had to do to finish the Missionary.
—–
“Hard… Long… Can last for ages… Ends with a huge flood… The Library was a difficult level!”
—–
“Bet you cant stick it…”
—–
The Halo/Shakespeare crossover machinima was going really well; Having conquered Romeo and Blueliet next week the group planned on performing The Taming of the Brute, and then Love’s Labour’s Flag Stolen! followed by Blam!let, Much A Blue about Nothing, Se7enth Night, the Two Gentlemen of Valhalla and my own personal favorite, Midsummer Night’s Spree!
—–
“Im serious, it’s not gay if your balls don’t touch!”
—–
Blue Spartan discovers like so many other unfortunate men, it’s never the right time to ask her to teabag!
—–
Two Blue Spartan teammates go for a swim in the river, one of which is on her period.
If you eat the Blue Spartan, you’ll awake in your bed tomorrow and will believe all of this was a dream… But if you eat the Red Spartan, you stay in valhalla, and I show you how far the mancannon goes…
For the last time, WE’RE NOT GAY!