The Katonian Press: Flag Taken, Flag Dropped
July 20, 2009 40 Comments
The Katonian Press, a regular offering brought to you by the evil genius and criminal mastermind behind the always scintillating WITFITS, will soon be your best source for weekly fake gaming news, assuming it’s not already. Grab a cup of coffee, open up The Katonian Press, and enjoy it for what it is: a satirical look at various things gaming-related.
Aggravated Red Team Has Flag Repeatedly Taken, Dropped
Valhalla, The Ark – Nestled in an idyllic valley on a quiet bay, two forerunner structures sit amongst the majestic pines, rolling hills, and sparkling waterfalls. The occasional call of a native gull and the sound of the salty breeze blowing in from the ocean are all that usually break the peacefully tranquility of this place. That is, until recently, when Blue Team stole Red Team’s flag, and caused a ruckus not heard hear in millennia.
“I was around back, doing some work on the ‘Hog, trying to see if I could get the damn tow winch working, when I heard the commotion,” said a Red Spartan. “I haven’t a clue where the other guys were, maybe checking out that downed Pelican, or frolicking in the stream for all I know. I looked up just in time to see Blue grabbing the flag we planted in our base. Probably wouldn’t have even noticed if it hadn’t been for that disembodied voice saying ‘Flag taken’.”
The Blue Team doesn’t deny the incident.
“Yea, I stole their flag,” said the pilfering Blue Spartan. “I was tooling around in a Mongoose, admiring the local geology, when I saw it just sitting there with not a Red in sight. It was too great of an opportunity to pass up, so I just rode ride up and helped myself.”
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