Friday Caption Fun, Round 55
July 17, 2009 129 Comments
For once my weekly countdown does not end today. Instead of looking forward to a two day break from the daily grind, this week I am excited about Tuesday as that particular day brings about a departure for a very relaxing vacation. Four more days and counting! Perhaps I will three ball it up to stay distracted, but for now it’s funny screenshot caption time! Only after the customary recapping of last week’s humorous answers of course.
- “The truth is, objects don’t disappear in H3. The Butterflies take them.” (newguy2445)
- “Over spamming of grenades has caused the wildlife in certain areas to take drastic action to defend their territory.” (Don A K Bab)
- “Floats like a butterfly, stings like an ODST.” (Anton P. Nym)
- “When 3D modelers at Bungie HQ failed to receive the concept art for one of ODST’s new characters, they decided to just wing it.” (Tactful)
- “Ever since 1962 when Japan converted from lazer beams to fire, the Godzilla vs. Mothra movies started to suck. In an attempt to thwart this problem, they issued Mothra a BR and gave Godzilla an AR. Godzilla still wins, every time.” (Admiral Madden)
- “Ever tried Legendary with ALL skulls on? Yeah. Even the BUTTERFLIES have weapons.” (nixproto)
- “The birds on Epitaph got tired of being shot so they hired their new hitmen.” (Spade)
- “After seven long years of waiting, the revelation of what the guardians look like was a little underwhelming.” (The Flying Spartan)
Now that The Flying Spartan mentioned it, I do find myself wondering what the Guardians look like every now and again. Do they have a physical form, or are they more holographic in nature? Do they travel in groups, or does one ever stray off on its own? Are they essentially kind, or always malevolent? While I ponder all of those things along with the general meaning of life, I’ll leave you another screenshot to caption. This one’s a little odd, but I know you’ll come up with something good for it!
Author: Dry turtle
“After recon was made avaliable to the public, Bungie had to find a new team uniform”
“Master Chief finally takes off his helmet”
“I’ll be back”
Damn you, beat me to the punch.
With the prospect of unlocking Recon on the horizon bungie dismays many fans by unveiling a new type of exclusive helmet.
“Meanwhile, in Japan, Captain King’s request for eye beams took a more sinister turn.”
Bioware dropped another bombshell today when they announced that making a guest appearance in Mass Effect2 would be Master Chief as the Geth commander !
lol, nice.
I second.
Pure win.
Nice one, DeepCee.
I loled.
More than meets the eye.
beat me to it
In an effort to help the Arbiter fit in with his new brethren, the Chief outfitted himself with a robotic replica of an elite’s face. He went a little overboard on the mandibles…
Im, sorry…I can’t help you Dave…er…Arbiter.
Bungie’s attempt to one-up BioShock’s Big Daddy goes horribly, horribly wrong.
im suprised no-ones posted this one
“IMMA CHARGIN’ MAH LAZAR!!!”
“The covenants robot replica of the Chief would have infiltrated the UNSC if not for one tiny flaw…”
GABARLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
“The Flood take a more technical approach to assimilating the Spartan super soldier known as John-117, the result? They succeed.”
The Mark VI suit used to be fully automated. When it was given to the Spartan program, the sensor equipment was, naturally, removed.
Meet Master Spark, the illegitimate son of John and 343. The library was h_e_l_l but there was still time for love.
Win.
Just for one night, the Library experienced a different kind of ‘flood’…
When the concept designers were first told that Halo would feature an infectious race bent on inhabiting the bodies of their enemies, they first thought HQ was talking about the Borg.
“Mom! Why do I have to be the flower in the school musical?”
“OH MY GOD! It’s the Alien facehugger!”
Save his head, dispose of the rest.
Dammit! If it’s not flies, then it’s auto turrets in the teleporter…
Brilliant! took me a second to get it
There was an old lady who swallowed an auto-turret.
I don’t know how she swallowed an auto-turret?
I guess she’ll die.
More that meets the eye. *rimshot*
You got beaten by 2 hours and a half.
ah well.
If you thought Unggoy were scared of him before…
“I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.”
Was that a “2001: a space odyssey” reference? (smirk)
Oh, yes
The first concept model for the spartan laser.
IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!!!
“What? Do I have something on my face?”
“There was some error in communication when the Chief opted for the corrective laser eye surgery.”
“How can his head fit in the helmet?!?” yelled the marines when chief decided to show his face.
Somebody call Micheal Bay, chief is interested in the next transformers movie.
Bet ya can’t stick it?
OR
With the laser range finder add on BS might have a better chance of sticking the enemy than her team.
You can hope anyways!!
“Shoop da whoop, bitch.”
In comparison the Older MACK 6 Armor was not as streamline as the Mark V
Turns out masterchief was a decepticon.
Covenant will be assimilated.
“Chief regretted choosing the ‘large’ size when ordering his Nightvision Goggles.”
Unfortunately, it turns out the fans were right to skeptical of a cross-over with Star Trek.
After learning of the VISR system ODSTs were being given, the Master Chief understandably wanted the same equipment. It would seem unfortunate that the only ones not in use were prototypes, but the new equipment gave him the vital element of “WTF?” in battle.
“Y’know, I had one simple request; and that is to have SPARTANS, with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!” *pinky-finger to lips*
— Steve
Damn you, you beat me.
HA!
You win the game.
Pure win here
Took me a while to get it…
I’m sorry, Cortana, but I don’t think it will work out between us. Glados, here I come!
“From now on when someone asks how MC takes a crap, just say ‘It’s complicated’.”
What?! Is it a spider?! Get it off!
The Prestige edition of Modern Warfare 2 was TOTALLY worth it!!!
Damn, just thought of another one.
“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. He will be better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.”
“Master Chief feels foolish for picking Decepticon in the Burger King Transformers contest. Not only didnt he win $1,000,000 but now he is stuck with the head of Frenzy.”
Thats the name of the twitchy robot that gets into Air Force 1 during the first movie.
The Eye of Sauron’s son.
The Mark VII Helmet B.E.T.A
With this new technology Cortana can finally show the Master Chief how much she loves him, but unfortunately now that he can touch he just doesn’t want to go their anymore.
On legendary, Chief has enough problems with flood and covenant, so when the Sentinals came, he improvised with new camouflage.
“GO GO Gadget telescope!… GAA… dammit, not again.”
After wearing his helmet for so long, Chief had a wicked case of “helmet hair.”
Auto Turret’s goatse attempt was rudely interrupted by Master Chief.
“No, Chief, you ARE the Geth!”
1) It turns out, after upgrading, Master Chief can now process biomass into fuel. Theoretically, he could eat the corpses of dead soldiers. Someone call FOX News, they’ll want to know.
2) ‘You know, Spark, I think the Class-12 Combat Skin just doesn’t look as good. Plus, it’ll confuse people about the Halo brand identity.’
343 guilty spark was right,the Cheif is part forerunner.
“No 343 Guilty Spark, I am your father.”
SPARTANbots-Roll Out!
“All Ur Face R Belong To Us!”
“after watching the new terminator movie, the monitor decided to try to infiltrate human ranks to get the key and almost nailed it… the sad part is that this guy thinks he’s really human, at least he’s got a tank to pick up chicks in!”
“if you think this is cool, wait until you see the sentinal codpiece permutation!”
So thats how you tri – wield
“Guess what! The Chief has laser vision now”
“Aaaargh! A face hugger!
Chief: “Hey look what i found”
Arbiter: “GAAAAAAHHHHH!!”
OMG….that Sentinal is shitting a Master Chief!!!
Yes! I got chosen last week! Okay let me try again…
“343 Guilty Spark’s cousin, 117 Cocky Spartan, has come to town. No wonder Spark went rampant…”
Hey look that sentinal has a master cheif on its ass
FRIENDS IS WIN
- Metal Gear Ray 2.0?
.
- During development, Sentinel Beams were attached to the helmet
Mast-er chief… More, than-meets, the-eye.
Crap, it’s already been done :(
Master Chief got a little too excited for the midnight premiere of 9.
After being stranded in space for years, the Chief returns to Earth with some upgrades installed by the Combine.
“Say Cheese!”
No wonder Megatron was so tough. He’s the Chief! Can’t believe we never saw this.
“I’m sorry to tell you chief but you were in a warthog accident. We tried to reconstruct your face but we didn’t have a clue what you looked like under your helmet.”
“You do realize I’m human right? Although the mounted laser is well wicked”
Master Chief began to cry when he found out his new helmet was the ‘butt’ of everyones jokes.
“Like my costume from the movie no one cares about.”
Item: The Cuddle Chief 9000
Catch phrase: You don’t want to cuddle? Well TOO BAD!!!!!
When The Chief’s visor finally broke, the Elites were all rather surprised to see that his face wasn’t a metal grinning skull. Up until he burned their eyes out.
Cortana: “Sorry Chief. He’s an old boyfriend. We will be done in a minute.”
As the gunfire tore through Master Chief’s new MJOLNIR-III armour permutions, he wondered if it was the green LED on his assault rifle that gave him away.
—–
Transformer fans worldwide were shocked and disgusted to discover Master Chief playing the latest edition to the forced of robotic evil, DeceptiRecon.
—–
Unfortunately for ONI’s top scientists, it turned out that surgically severing the head of the UNSC’s top footsoldier and replacing it with an auto-turret was actually a bad idea, regardless of how awesome it had sounded after 15 shots of Moon Whisky.
—–
Turret Spartan knew from an early age that he was adopted as both his parents were pakistani.
—–
Turret Spartan silently wonders why his parents decided to name their child after the horrible birth defect which would plague him his entire life.
—–
After another night in the intensive care ward, Turret Spartan finally understands that although being immediatly similar, the words “Auto-Turret” and “Auto-eroticism” really dont compliment each other well.
—–
Turret Spartan finally gives up on his life-long dream of being a Country/Folk Singer after realising that he has no mouth, because he has a turret for a head.
—–
Turret Spartan didnt get much of an education, because there’s only so many times you can accidently activate during a fit of rage and gun down asshole bullies or smartmouth teachers before you get suspeneded from every school on the entire planet.
—–
Turret Spartan realised his marriage was over when he noticed a Guilty Spark in his wife’s eye.
—–
Turret Spartan wonders how many women would still be alive if he was better at oral sex.
—–
Turret Spartan was relieved when he found out his new girlfriend enjoyed “Mounting the turret”, and then became equally devestated when she tore it off for increased mobility.
—–
Unfortunately Turret Spartan’s Mother died during childbirth, but on a more positive note she’s one of the only women in the history of mankind who managed to kill an entire operating room full of people using only her vagina.
—–
Turret Spartan cradled his newborn Sentinal Beam, despite only being able to detect and then kill any forms of motion, a fact which he learned about four seconds later when his son tried to touch his father’s face.
—–
Turret Spartan’s sex life had a major boost when he discovered he could pleasure up to four women at once. With his head.
—–
The worst thing about having a turret for a head is having to walk sideways through doors. That, and accidently killing anyone who accidently walks in front of you.
—–
Turret Spartan didnt have much trouble getting into the army after he suggested that he bring his own weaponry.
—–
There were many aspects of army training Turret Spartan didn’t like, but his main pet peeve was probably being used as a substitute Elite during live target practice.
—–
He had lived his entire life as a nobody, a loser, “That Guy with a turret for a head!”. That was all about to change. Turret Spartan had, for some reason, been especially selected for a covert undercover mission. For six months he would act, live and kill as a Covenant Elite, behind enemy lines. His mission; To assassinate the acting Covenant leader, The Prophet of Truth. Not even Master Chief himself could complete this special mission; the only man who could was Turret Spartan. Why you ask?
Because he has a fucking Turret for a head!
—–
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/6853/prophetofturretheadspng.png
As Turret Spartan deactivated, he felt a special kind of solace. Everyone he knew and loved had died, mostly by his hand. His parents, his wife, his girlfriend, his schoolmates; Even his own son. Throughout his life he had seen and caused so much death, so much pain. Well, not really “seen”, more “motion detected”, but that’s beside the point. Perhaps this final act of justice would bring balance to his actions. Perhaps by slaying the leader of the covenant, The Prophet of Truth, he had given his karmometer a hard reset. Perhaps he could finally find peace in heaven, where he would be able to apologise directly for all his previous wrongdoing. He felt the warm, blue-ish blood flood his fingers, and detected the meagre motions of a dieng alien. Truth slumped out of his chair, fatally wounded.
“You… You are no mere… Elite…” The pained creature rasped,
“…” replied Turret Spartan, for he had a turret for a head.
Both creatures contemplated each other for just a moment, both of them outcasts, and both of them doomed to live and die and painful life.
“How… Did you manage… To find me… After all… these… years?” questioned the Prophet,
“…” Turret Spartan answered.
“Perhaps it was… Simply… Destiny…” Truth replied, gasping for oxygen, or methane, or whatever.
“…?” asked Turret Spartan, with a hint of silence.
“It’s simple. The… Simplest solution… Is almost always… The correct one…”
“…” Turret Spartan yelled, in horror.
“You… You know it in your heart to be… true… You’ve murdered anyone you’ve ever loved… You were tricked into assassinating me by a government who look at you… And only see a Turret attatched to a body… Well you know what I see? I see… A man… A good, kind man… Who happens to have… A Turret… For a head!”
“…” Contemplated Turret Spartan, his life flashing before his eyes.
“You think I wear this helmet… For fun!? I was born with it… Like you…”
“…”
“Turret Spartan…” Truth gasped, bleeding all over the place like Abe Lincon, and inhaling his final, painful breath; “I… Am your father.”
And even before he said it, Turret Spartan knew it was true. A feeling in his gut. He had killed everyone he had ever loved, and now he had killed his last chance of being accepted in a world where people who have turrets for heads dont get to live normal lives. He slowly cleaned the mess he had made in the throne room and stowed his father’s corpse away. He looked around the room, his entitlement making itself beknowest to him. His city, his kingdom. He sat on the empty throne and contemplated. It would take months, years even, but Turret Spartan could learn covenant speech. He already knew how to exist within Covenant society. As a Prophet, he would be treated as a God, as an icon. He would be revered. He would have true power and potential.
He would… Be accepted. And that’s all Turret Spartan ever wanted. To be loved.
And although he knew his rein would never last, he decided to enjoy it whilst it did. Eventually the UNSC would send someone else, perhaps a young ODST with a Battle Rifle for a knee. But until that moment arrived… Well…
He would enjoy the benefits of having a Turret for a head, in a society where the leaders wear hats that kind of look like they have Turrets for heads.
The end.
tl;dr
You are win. That is all.
That hurt my face! Oh my god, I have a face? I’m a real boy!
“You no see me now!”
Or
“Who needs a little sister? This big daddy has Cortana…”
Who needs the Scarab Gun when you can have the Scarab Head?
“Second request, present hall pass”
couldn’t resist
The silly young Bungie forum goers squealed at the new Mark343 Armor in Halo 4.
MC: “I told you I was a Reclaimer…”
You see, considering SPARTAN-IIs weigh a Metric Ton, the UNSC took measures to allow them to scale surfaces easier. Just plant your face firmly on a wall, the headgear will snap to it, and allow you to climb a few feet! Then, retract the helmet, plant it firmly on a higher point, and repeat.
Feed me, Seymour!
That’s one fucked up boombox, Chief.
“DOCTOR OCTOGONOPUS!”
That is a face only John’s mother should see.
MC’s “Appleseed” cosplay!
After a good ass-kicking by Iron Monger in the first movie Tony Stark decided to make a few additions to the MkIII armor, and hence War MasterChief was born.
STOOOOOOSH!
The covenant have found a new enemy, he´s called the super-cheif
Guilty spark has just put out pictures of his brother on facebook
It has now been prowed that master cheif has a twin brother, his name is Optimus cheif.
Cyberdyne Systems Model J-117
blame stosh
IMA FIRIN MAH LAZAH!!
Caption Fail
After many years on the battlefield, Master Cheif finally lost his head…
…Naturally, it was replaced…
All you need to do is come up with another 9000 puns per friday caption competition and you’re practicly me :)
When Halo came to Japan, it was only inevitable that it would happen: MECHA MASTER CHIEF
“Don’t you understand, Reclaimer? You ARE the Forerunner! Quite literally, in fact!”
-insert an obligatory Transformers reference here-
Method for creating a generic caption for the Friday Caption Competition:
1) GO ON MSN.COM
2) CHECK THE LATEST NEWS STORIES, FILM RELEASES ETC
3) FIND SOMETHING THAT SORT OF RESEMBLES THE UN-CAPTIONED PICTURE
4) COMPARE THE SUBJECT OF THE PICTURE TO 3)
5) SIT BACK AND SMIRK AT HOW CLEVER YOU ARE
Optional:
6) TURN EVERYONE’S GENERICNESS INTO A CAPTION OF YOUR OWN
7) CREATE A REPLY TO 6)’S REFERENCE OF EVERYONE’S GENERICNESS THAT HIGHLIGHTS IT EVEN FURTHER USING A FAKE “GUIDE”
8) SIT BACK AND SMIRK AT HOW CLEVER YOU ARE
John? Welcome back son. I’m sorry to say that the augmentations were not a success. We fucked up. Bad. You can still go over there to work with Fjahad the cripple. He’s not as fucked up as you though.
master chief removes his helmet to reveal that he…is really a forerunner sentinel
arbiter is quite dismayed by this revelation
Master Chief tests out his new COSplay outfit, hoping that no one will recognize him at the upcoming DragonCon. You know that BS Angel is such a stalker!
Psh. I’d totally still find him. I’m that good!
“The UNSC created a new MJOLNIR with integrated weapon systems but after the Master Chief tried it on, he understandably decided to go back to his old amour variant.”
“Its the new recon!”
“The Master Chief’s valiant quest to destroy the covenant and flood without injury was exaggerated, he did in fact suffer one sentinel related injury. That is exactly why he doesn’t take his helmet off anymore.”
“The Modern Warfare 2 Prestige Edition night vision goggles don’t look quite as they were advertised”.
1) Master Chief and Cortana’s first born son didn’t grow up to be what they thought. He grew up to be Dark Master Chief and ruined everything that Master Chief stood for. It must have been that whole human to virtual girl thing that didn’t work so well.
2)The UNSC’s Master Chief II Design tried incorporating a few more weapons to utilize during battle. Upon further review, It ended up causing more harm than good, so it was scraped and a new design may or may not be administered.
Slating The Release Of The New Halo Vs. Terminator Game, Bungie Reveals Their Halo 3 Permatation Rejects!
IMA FIRN’ MA LZER!!