While my favorite Halo 3 double experience playlist of choice is easily Team Flag, this weekend’s ‘4th of July‘ option sounds decently fun as well. I’d replace decently with exceptionally if it weren’t for the whole Rocket/Splaser Slayer thing. Talk about torture! I’ll tell you what’s not torture though, and that’s our regular screenshot captioning activities. Let’s recap the best of last week’s answers and then we can do it all over again!
- “You sunk my battleship.” (AusQB)
- “What! My entry in Hawty McBloggy’s Friday Caption Fun wasn’t chosen again!!!” (newguy2445)
- “Gah! I’ll never figure out this HBO forum…” (mendicantbias00)
- “NOOOOOO! Fucking Blue Screen in the middle of my raid!!!!” (angelofbacon)
- “Confused and bewildered, the naive Elite believed it to be a mistake when Tartarus removed him from his friends list.” (Tactful)
- “STOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” (Terminator182)
- “Brutes? What? Oh, ok. Hang on. I’m playing Peggle.” (SonofMacPhisto)
- “Arby used MapQuest for the first time so he can find the nearest food nipple shop. After 2 weeks of traveling, he eventually stumbled upon a second Ark.” (retinence)
Last week I made a comment that the image didn’t have any obvious shock site references. I would like to officially take that back now as there were a minimum of three different comments pertaining just to that. Consider me impressed with your abilities to relate anything to that subject matter! This week the focus changes though as I selected an image relating to the holiday weekend. The theme of the week is ‘explosives’ and is there a screenshot better than this to reflect that? I think not so get to captioning!
Author: Darth Gerbil314
Posted by The Last Hunter on July 3, 2009 at 4:41 am
“You can’t possibly believe that I actually believe that your balls are so huge”
“The chief saw Troy, and well, let’s just say he got inventive”
“How the hell does he see?”
Posted by newguy2445 on July 3, 2009 at 4:44 am
The Chief came down with a serious case of blue balls, strangely enough it only affected one “ball”.
Posted by Mike on July 3, 2009 at 9:35 am
+1 to you, sir. newguy2445 gets my vote. ;)
Posted by DuracellDurrell on July 4, 2009 at 10:27 am
ah!!! stole my idea!!!! lol
Despite being a hero of the war, the Chief developed an explosive case of Blue BALL after the amputation.
Posted by the Light Show on July 3, 2009 at 4:52 am
hey mom look! i can make my shadow look real!
Posted by MrCrazy on July 3, 2009 at 4:59 am
It’s me, Master Bubbleboy!
Posted by DTA MoonDawg on July 3, 2009 at 5:35 am
Willy Wonka told her not to, but she did it anyway. And what happened? She became a blueberry.
Posted by Gilver on July 3, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Damn it…That’s what I was going to do!! LOL
Posted by Naepa34 on July 3, 2009 at 5:35 am
The Willy Wonka – Halo mix didnt go so well.
Posted by AusQB on July 3, 2009 at 5:50 am
It’s…a blancmange!
Posted by PsychoVandal on July 3, 2009 at 5:55 am
“He needs to be “juiced” or he’ll explode!”
Posted by Overdoziz on July 3, 2009 at 5:55 am
“Is it a spider?”
Posted by Pete Cooper on July 3, 2009 at 5:56 am
“Please enjoy my bright, blue balls!”
Posted by Zoxin1 on July 3, 2009 at 6:05 am
“It was then that Jimmy realized he was stuck.”
“The covenant forces have decided to bring a whole new meaning to the suicide grunt.”
“Timmy has always been afraid of the outside world, he is safe in his bubble.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the UNSC’s newest addition to infantry units! The bowling ball!”
Posted by Someone on July 3, 2009 at 6:09 am
“The covenant were trying out there walking grenades in combat, but nothing beats seeing a grunt make an epic fail!”
“Metroid: Halo Edition didn’t go too well”
“Try the new Spartan berry! It’ll improve your perfomance on the battlefield! Warning: may cause explosions.”
Posted by Shirdel7221 on July 3, 2009 at 6:12 am
The Blue Balls Joke: YOU GOT IT WRONG
Posted by CrazedOne1988 on July 3, 2009 at 6:13 am
“Let’s just say I don’t wanna be in town when that thing goes off………”
Posted by MR HAT3ER on July 3, 2009 at 6:19 am
“Willy Wonka called he said not to chew the Dinner Gu… to late.”
Posted by Wolfincommand on July 3, 2009 at 6:21 am
My Mr. Mathattan related dreams are coming true!
Posted by CaLL Me ZeNy on July 3, 2009 at 6:29 am
Num! Num! Num!
Bubble gum!
Posted by Gin on July 3, 2009 at 6:33 am
Bet you can’t stick it.
Posted by Louis Wu on July 3, 2009 at 6:50 am
IT’S A VAMPIRE GRENADE! LOOK! NO SHADOW!
Posted by PiN0YxPWNAGE on July 3, 2009 at 7:09 am
When people say bright blue balls, they don’t mean this kind.
Posted by HC Redemption on July 3, 2009 at 7:10 am
Excited about the opportunity to do something different, Master Chief tries on his costume for the first time as he prepares for his role as the blue ornament in this years holiday parade…
Posted by Whitehawk13 on July 3, 2009 at 7:19 am
Zorbing. Is. AWESOME.
Posted by shadowsquid86 on July 3, 2009 at 7:21 am
Sonic the Hedgehog games were going down the tube, so Sega thought attaching the popular Halo series would boost sales. Let’s just say the spin attack is a bit frightening.
Posted by Phaedrus on July 3, 2009 at 7:49 am
So THAT’S what a dingledodie is…
(That is an actual literary reference. I’m not making this up. Look up Jack Kerouac. I believe that word and this pic go along perfectly.)
Posted by Crazy A 64 on July 6, 2009 at 8:46 am
This submission FTW due to it’s obscurity and imaginative reference!
Phaedrus, you are a true inspiration to us all.
Posted by Ez8Diaz on July 3, 2009 at 7:49 am
343 Guilty Spark, the early years
Posted by Crazy A 64 on July 3, 2009 at 7:51 am
No, no, no Atlas! It has to be on your shoulders!
Posted by General Vagueness on July 3, 2009 at 8:00 am
For anybody who doesn’t realize, that’s a reference to Greek mythology, not Ayn Rand.
Posted by Ken Raves on July 3, 2009 at 7:53 am
Super-mecha-ultra-hyper-orb-shielding GO!
Posted by General Vagueness on July 3, 2009 at 8:01 am
This recently declassified video shows the problems with the first version of the bubble shield.
Posted by Mr Viper on July 3, 2009 at 8:04 am
“Number 6’s attempt to escape ‘The Sandtrap’ was thwarted once again by the mysterious ‘Rover’ bubble.”
If you don’t get it, you have never heard of the old series called “The Prisoner”. Simpsons parodied it, when Homer was kidnapped and taken to ‘The Island’ (if that helps for reference).
Posted by Slarti on July 3, 2009 at 9:50 am
Oh, good. I’m not the only one who thought of Rover.
Posted by Queen 0f Blades on July 3, 2009 at 8:11 am
“You’re turning violet, Violet!”
Posted by General Vagueness on July 3, 2009 at 8:13 am
When Pixar was making the movie Up, they considered a partnership with Microsoft. This early render shows one reason they thought better of it.
Posted by gogt200 on July 3, 2009 at 8:19 am
Bet you can’t stick it.
Posted by jamasia on July 5, 2009 at 12:23 pm
… Hands down victory
Posted by retinence on July 3, 2009 at 8:23 am
He didn’t believe in magic till he called Harry’s mother a b****.
Posted by retinence on July 3, 2009 at 8:25 am
Chief wanted to dance in a balloon like the peoplez in the interwebz. Unfortunately, he filled the balloon with helium.
Posted by Ragingterror on July 3, 2009 at 8:25 am
Bubble Boy, circa 2553
Posted by Billdebeast on July 3, 2009 at 8:26 am
although grey spartan had a severe case of bubonic plague, it didnt stop him from jumping blindly around the desert.
…………………………………………..
I HAZ RECONZ!!!! …wait…
Posted by LAZR Blade 14 on July 3, 2009 at 8:40 am
Unknown to most, the earlier concepts of the “Katamari” ball were tested by Spartans. These tests often ended in disaster.
Posted by ChestnutFirefly on July 3, 2009 at 8:58 am
Technology fail: active camouflage bluescreen
Posted by Triptup on July 3, 2009 at 9:23 am
Up first for the holiday wknd festivities, Spartan beach volleyball. Next is everyone’s favorite… The Cortana Wet T-Shirt Contest! Yay!!!
Posted by TrAvIs 6t6 on July 3, 2009 at 10:01 am
“Suicide Grunts ain’t got nothing on me!”
Posted by A Deaf Boy on July 3, 2009 at 10:15 am
“Uh…we can still see your shadow. Stop scratching your pen0r dude. It’s not that cool….”
Posted by RandomIndex on July 3, 2009 at 10:20 am
Can one more person make a blue balls joke? That would be great…
Posted by Jonathan Fisk on July 3, 2009 at 10:33 am
OH YEAH! OH YEAH!
Posted by Owl Assassin on July 3, 2009 at 10:54 am
When flood infection forms get confused, hideous bastard offspring were made.
You really don’t want to see a spike grenade offspring.
Posted by Qwepir on July 4, 2009 at 9:50 am
You don’t even need to stick these new carriers, just shoot them once and you’ll destroy the entire local infestation… and probably yourself, too.
Posted by QuackJAG on July 3, 2009 at 10:58 am
“Now the Chief is thinking with Portals.”
Posted by Crymsonnite on July 3, 2009 at 11:05 am
The new spartan armor permutation isn’t as desirable as recon
Posted by crunchbitenuva on July 3, 2009 at 11:08 am
HLG Hiding Tactic #104: the auto pick-up sticky explosion
Posted by Ripperbob on July 3, 2009 at 11:13 am
Last time I buy anything from Billy Mays
Posted by Malcis on July 3, 2009 at 11:27 am
the boy in a bubble picks the wrong fight
Posted by EXZA on July 3, 2009 at 11:27 am
“Think of the betrayals I could get with this!” -BSA
Posted by bs angel on July 10, 2009 at 1:14 am
I like thinking about that, although I doubt my teammates feel the same way. :)
Posted by Tactful on July 3, 2009 at 11:36 am
In retrospect, dressing up a sample of the deadly strain and jumping out of the sandpit probably wasnt the best way to educate the children about “Swine Flu”…
—–
The International Grifball Summer League ‘09; Sponsored by Viagra!
—–
Grey Spartan immediatly regreted hesitating to answer Plasma Grenade’s question of whether or not she “Looked fat in this casing?”.
—–
Growing up in a fairly conservative, white american suburb Plasma Grenade had always known that he was different from other kids.
—–
When Grey Spartan arrived back from the Covenant POW Camp his superiors could tell something wasn’t right….
—–
Master Chief always knew the kid wasnt his, but he’d never thought Cortana would’ve sunk so low as to have an affair with Guilty Spark!
—–
It was during beta testing that ONI scientists realised the MJOLNIR-III needed some serious re-working.
Posted by Tactful on July 3, 2009 at 11:37 am
First one should be:
“dressing up as a sample of the deadly strain”
Posted by Billdebeast on July 3, 2009 at 11:44 am
you have won. lol.
Posted by EXZA on July 3, 2009 at 11:40 am
“GET IT OFF ME! GET IT—” -A Grunt.
Posted by Billdebeast on July 3, 2009 at 11:45 am
It was at this point, realising that he had not won the 53rd round of FCF, that Tactful decided to end it.
Posted by Wasiq on July 3, 2009 at 11:53 am
“Im blue, da-boo di da-boo da”
Posted by Stuart Carson on July 3, 2009 at 11:55 am
“Wait..whats so interesting about this?”- Stuart Carson.
Posted by Begocer on July 3, 2009 at 11:58 am
Klaatu’s cousin could’t quite pull off the ‘mysterious exit of his ship’ as well as Klaatu could
Posted by jamasia on July 5, 2009 at 12:19 pm
excellent
Posted by BTSculptor on July 3, 2009 at 11:59 am
Mudkip disguise, phase 1 complete!
Posted by Begocer on July 3, 2009 at 11:59 am
I think its spelt ‘Klaatu’…. Eh if not, whoopdeedoo
Posted by Snowy on July 3, 2009 at 12:04 pm
“Thank God, It’s You!”
“Oh,I know what the ladies like!”
And for those who don’t understand the first one, it’s a marathon reference were fake marines would yell that then run up to you and explode. I have to say it fits this screenshot nicely.
Posted by Bjorn on July 3, 2009 at 12:07 pm
“Things were swell, but then the swelling went down.”
Posted by piercigntiger on July 4, 2009 at 1:52 am
oh my…ha hahahahaha
Posted by Terminator182 on July 3, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Bungie’s first edition of the Killball wasn’t taken as seriously
Posted by Uccxxxv on July 3, 2009 at 12:18 pm
This is BS Angel’s Halo Matchmaking conscience, he knows just one word… “Betray”.
Posted by bs angel on July 10, 2009 at 1:17 am
It all makes sense now!
Posted by MoltenSlowa on July 3, 2009 at 12:24 pm
I’ve got big balls! You’ve got big balls! And we’ve got the biggest, balls of them all!
Posted by XMixMasterX on July 3, 2009 at 1:00 pm
“They’ll NEVER say I don’t have enough balls again!”
“If this doesn’t stick ‘em, nothing will…”
“I didn’t realize what they meant by ‘SuperSize’ until it was too late.”
“Is this pimple noticeable?”
Posted by Zerowind117 on July 3, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Pac Man’s cousin got a serious case of OM NOM NOM NOM and ate the first thing in sight.
Posted by R2-JL on July 3, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Spartan wants big boom…
Posted by Zee-V70 on July 3, 2009 at 2:36 pm
For Halo: Reach, several new gametypes have been playtested so far. A less popular one is “XTreme Assault”.
Posted by Penguin Ninjoid on July 3, 2009 at 3:43 pm
When he volunteered to help test the successor to Viagra, the Chief experienced some…unforeseen side effects.
Posted by eclipser 84 on July 3, 2009 at 3:49 pm
bobby didn’t know what was more disturbing, His genetic mutation or the fact that his shadow refused to change.
Posted by StealthSpeed3 on July 3, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Bust-a-Move, Halo-Style!!
also known as Puzzle Bobble with Bub & Bob from Bubble Bobble and a ton of other crazy Taito characters ;)
Posted by Weezey31 on July 3, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Spartan to his wife: “If you don’t start putting out I’m leaving you because this is just ridiculous!”
Posted by Kensai111 on July 3, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I’m afraid I just blue myself.
Posted by ALTEX on July 3, 2009 at 4:22 pm
What the hell do you mean “the card says Moops??!”
Posted by Sam on July 3, 2009 at 4:25 pm
“Come here boy! I gotta big treat for you, Lassy!”
“Is my Pacman costume right?”
Posted by CdawgOwnd on July 3, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Look, he’s being sucked up into a huge blue ball full energy and and power. That is so totally wicked.
Posted by plazmamuffin on July 3, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Owww!!…. Hawty McBloggy hasn’t posted anything in the past few days.
Posted by Chris101b on July 3, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Bubble shield fail!!
or
Time to call the Oompa Loompa’s.
Posted by Matt7777444 on July 3, 2009 at 6:18 pm
This is what happens when you mix sonic and halo.
Posted by Loadedevildude on July 3, 2009 at 6:46 pm
I carried the big bomb, so there is no fucking way your getting me to hold on to this.
Posted by Gilver on July 3, 2009 at 7:28 pm
‘They call me ‘nade miser! Whatever I touch, turns to ‘nades in my clutch! BOOM! I’m too much!”
Da dun dun DUN!
Posted by humrh2 on July 3, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Is it a spider?
Posted by Whaappened on July 3, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Because “Red Balling” would’t have been as funny.
Posted by Connor Lonske on July 3, 2009 at 7:48 pm
“GMod attack”
Posted by nixproto (Drake) on July 3, 2009 at 8:18 pm
“The Chief ALWAYS has to one-up someone. This time it was the kamikaze grunts.”
Posted by Nathan on July 3, 2009 at 8:38 pm
I’m a little explosive, blue and round. Here is my activation switch, here is my internal mechanism which allows me to distinguish between targets and background.
Posted by piercigntiger on July 4, 2009 at 1:49 am
epic.
Posted by DethPwn on July 5, 2009 at 6:32 pm
The sad part: It actually rhymed.
Posted by The Flying Spartan on July 3, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Early versions of Grifball left a lot to be desired.
–
“Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All The Way! Oh what fun it is to ride in a what the hell is this thing anyway?”
–
John-117’s first encounter with a Shabom was quite buoyant.
–
“I won’t make fun of Asuka again, I promise! Now deflate the gel layer, damn it!”
–
The ONI-Broadway production of Waterworld was subsequently banned from ever being performed within 1,000 light-years of Earth or its Colonies.
–
“I got the beach ball, now where’s the beach?!”
Posted by Das Kalk on July 3, 2009 at 11:09 pm
fed up with her recent decline in betrayals, angel phoned in a favor from Bungie. Now the stickies are the size of an Elephant and can walk
Posted by bs angel on July 10, 2009 at 1:20 am
Can you imagine?! Talk about amazing!
Posted by ImTriForceGuy on July 3, 2009 at 11:19 pm
“PLEEEASE BABY??? CAN WE TONIGHT??? PLEASE??”
Posted by Tooks on July 4, 2009 at 12:43 am
some people think im crazy. but i say, its fake.
Posted by Ez8Diaz on July 4, 2009 at 1:10 am
out of all the pron websites while im drunk i chose the hawtymcbloggy.com site lol :)
Posted by piercigntiger on July 4, 2009 at 1:47 am
Bungie decided to recreate Glinda the Good Witch’s bubble, but didn’t take the weight difference into account.
Posted by newguy2445 on July 4, 2009 at 3:51 am
The Guardians became bored and restless and decided to tea-bag players, unintentionally of course they left one very important object behind.
Posted by newguy2445 on July 4, 2009 at 3:53 am
Bungie grew tired for requests for “flaming heads”, so they developed a new “flame” piece which resulted in a giant blue occupying the player’s head space, in hopes that players would be too embarrassed to ask for a giant blue ball to be placed on their heads. Unfortunately they were wrong.
Posted by newguy2445 on July 4, 2009 at 3:54 am
“Hai guyz check out mai new space herpes!!!!”
Posted by DarkerNukes on July 4, 2009 at 4:51 am
“-The SPARTAN jawbreaker. For REAL men!”
Posted by -S- on July 6, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Dear God it’s nice to see someone in these contests with a little creativity and originality. So far there’s been like 50 blue balls jokes and willy wonka captions.
Also randomly quoting lines directly from (insert movie/tv show/etc line here) without adding any sort of clever twist does not make it funny or relevant – like, “Is it a spider?” yay we get it, rvb, but other than the fact that there’s a sticky in the picture that doesn’t have anything to do with anything.
DarkerNukes, well done.
Posted by Qwepir on July 4, 2009 at 9:44 am
“No, get ON the ball, not IN it!”
Posted by one crazy idiot on July 4, 2009 at 12:54 pm
This is the unseen footage of Bungie building ABC’s “Wipeout” set.
See here for more:http://abc.go.com/primetime/wipeout/index?pn=index
Posted by Admiral Madden on July 4, 2009 at 2:11 pm
“that’s the biggest thing that Hawty has stuck to my Halo Tree so far… now if only she’d do that to my Mancannon.”
Posted by Admiral Madden on July 4, 2009 at 2:19 pm
“this is the only symptom of Sticky-Herpe-Gauna-Mono-Sifile-Rhia-Staphla-Itolus… Because death just isn’t as humiliating as it should be.”
Posted by AmX15 on July 4, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I blame Stosh.
It’s a plasma grenade!
There’s a risk of swelling after an upper torso amputation.
Posted by pikmingod on July 4, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Chief realized too late that hiding in a giant grenade replica probably wasn’t the best idea on the 4th of July
Posted by The Pope on July 4, 2009 at 10:42 pm
OMG Chief watches Wipeout!
Posted by Marksman on July 5, 2009 at 1:33 am
Suicide bombing of 2552.
Posted by VoltRabbit on July 5, 2009 at 10:30 am
This happens every time there’s going to be a family photo, every damn time.
Posted by jamasia on July 5, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Little did they know that when it pops it will release thousand of Master Chief spores into the wind ending civilisation as we know it.
Posted by DethPwn on July 5, 2009 at 6:34 pm
What happens when you divide by zero.
After much clamoring from SSBM fans, Mewtwo was brought back in next-gen form. Just… in a different game.
Posted by JLay on July 6, 2009 at 8:22 am
The most common last thing that BS Angel’s teammates see when looking at her during a H3 match!
Posted by bs angel on July 10, 2009 at 1:23 am
There just may be an ounce of truth to that comment. O_o
Posted by Mikey Rocks on July 6, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Cheif finally mastered his version of the grunt kamikaze
Posted by Spade on July 6, 2009 at 9:34 pm
So, they finally found the right groin piece for Chuck Norris’ armor
Posted by PiN0YxPWNAGE on July 6, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Here’s another:
“See Chief? Now these are the kind of stickys your ass need to worry about. Just ’cause those split-lips have those tiny kinds of ‘em, don’t go running around, dodgin’ every single one. Now your ass just needs to worry about this kind. You don’t wanna end up like this guy.”
-Sergeant Major Avery Junior Johnson
Posted by WolfSarge on July 7, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Is it a BIG blue spider?
Posted by newguy2445 on July 10, 2009 at 2:15 am
After “finishing” Cortana the Chief came down with a serious case of blue ball. It is assumed that God removed his other “ball” as “their needs to be a limit on manliness”.
Posted by newguy2445 on July 10, 2009 at 2:18 am
A little known fact; the Chief has only one testicle and therefore only suffers from blue ball, it is speculated that his second testicle was removed due to the 360 being unable to render that much “manliness”.
*Sort of a rewording of my above entry* =P
*Can’t get it down properly =(*
Posted by newguy2445 on July 10, 2009 at 2:26 am
After seeing The Arbiter’s reaction to receiving a blue screen during his “WoW” time, the Chief tore off one of his nuts and handed it to the Arbiter, stating, “if by some chance you ever get laid, you’re going to need this”. That night Cortana struggled to finish the Chief, the Chief in horror realised how he had made a grave mistake. Unfortunately the Chief had not prepared for the case of blue balls he was about to suffer. So he embarked upon a journey to recover his missing testicle. Upon finding the Arbiter the Chief demanded his testicle be returned. “Were it so easy” was the response he was met with. Turns out the Arbiter interpreted “nut” as a literal meaning.
Posted by newguy2445 on July 10, 2009 at 2:29 am
*Fixin up previous entry*
Bungie grew tired for requests for “flaming heads”, so they developed a new “flame” piece which resulted in a giant blue ball occupying the player’s head space, in hopes that players would be too embarrassed to ask for a giant blue ball to be placed on their heads. Unfortunately they were wrong.