Friday Caption Fun, Round 51

halo 3 screenshotAnother seven days have come and gone, and last weekend’s memories of pleasurable action in my sack are but a distant memory. This weekend it looks like brains are on the menu as Living Dead is our double experience playlist of choice. One of these days they’ll mix the two and give us the opportunity to host zombies in our sacks so while we excitedly wait for that, let’s caption yet another entertaining Halo 3 screenshot. Not before the recapping of last week’s witty responses though!

  • “Slowly waking up after a rough night in the frat house, Red Spartan finds his glove glued to his visor and his secret stash of plasma grenades glued to his… Oh… Oh God!’” (Tactful)
  • “After activating x10 magnification, Red Spartan learnt that he was in fact missing one of his body organs.” (newguy2445)
  • “God, you two, no warning, no nothing. What did I tell you about putting something on the door knob?!” (Uccxxxv)
  • “Red finally realized he had a problem when he started sneezing tiny green Spartans.” (tb2571989)
  • “Is that someone’s spleen on my shoe?!” (JLay)
  • “Upon seeing the Chief’s legendary…er…asset, Red 5 entered a severe state of depression.” (Cailus)
  • “97, 98, 99, 100. Coming ready or not!” (Jussy)
  • “Red had to stop and catch his breath after taking a direct hit to his Action Sack.” (NOKYARD)


The potential for jokes pertaining to the Action Sack playlist is delightfully plentiful! We should be able to milk it almost as long as we’ve milked the entire Wii thing, right? We can certainly try at least. While the following screenshot may not have action sack-ish potential, it is rather unique and thus should bring some entertaining responses. So tell me, what is your witty caption for this wheelman-themed screenshot?

Author: TympanicMetal
halo 3 screenshot

104 Responses to Friday Caption Fun, Round 51

  1. just leave him in for another 5 minutes. i wanna make sure he’s extra dry…

  2. CrazedOne1988 says:

    A transformer stuck only halfway through transforming

  3. Crazeye0 says:

    Simmons! Motorcycle mode!

  4. S5 Unit says:

    Ok, when did i agree to this?

  5. 4642 Elitist Bastard says:

    God, Martha Stewart’s let herself go, hasn’t she?

  6. Sean C84 says:

    The recession hit the transformers 3 studio hard. Early screenshots showed massively downgraded CGI, until Michael Bay decided to quote “stuff it” and try his hand at machinima. Fan responses were.. mixed.

  7. Skitzo Sven says:

    Red thought the Blue’s idea to involve him in the process to reinvent the wheel was kind of them. He was wrong.

  8. pikmingod says:

    SET IT AND FORGET IT!

  9. YOU KNOW WHY says:

    OOHH! YEAH! he’s the coolaid guy

  10. -You spin me right round, baby
    right round like a record, baby
    Right round round round
    You spin me right round, baby
    Right round like a record, baby
    Right round round round

    -The wheels on the Spartan II go round and round, round and round, round and round…

    -Even a Spartan can’t beat a black hole.

    -Quick! Close the portal, they’re coming through!

    -Red: “It was like being birthed again. It was so beautiful.”

  11. Maiger says:

    Will it blend? That is the question!

  12. Whitehawk13 says:

    Red vowed it was the last time he would ever go and get Blue’s watch from the toilet ever again…

  13. JLay says:

    Hey Arby, does this Warthog make me look fat?

  14. Mizzy says:

    “Big wheel keep on turning,
    Proud Mary keep on burning,
    Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river.”

  15. CrunchbiteNuva says:

    Whole new meaning to the roundhouse kick…

  16. ScottyBob says:

    Is there someone in the hot tub? It looks like Stew! (Quote from Weird Al’s Party At The Leper Colony)

  17. Dust and Echoes says:

    And we all thought people falling into vats in cartoons was as far as it went.

  18. t0rm3n7 says:

    Red had been wanting to try out his suit’s new anti-crash system, too bad he was the only non-cyborg on the team…

  19. shadowsquid86 says:

    The new Warthog Unus wasn’t as popular as predicted.

    -

    In the event of a flat tire, stuffing corpses inside the wheel may be nessecary.

    -

    Baby, this is how I ROLL.

    -

    Hijacking 101, aim for the cockpit, not the wheel.

  20. BTSculptor says:

    Waiter, there’s a Spartan in my soup!

  21. davyboy94 says:

    You should see the hood ornament

  22. tb2571989 says:

    w00t I got a mention! cheers BS!

    - The “pokeball-spartan-storage” experiment went horribly, horribly wrong.

    - Why’s my world going round…and round…and round…and round?

    - Red though his problem’s couldnt get any worse, but just then the tyre burst into flames

    - Driving a warthog through a teleporter had pretty drastic results. Turns out things can get a bit…scrambled.

    • tb2571989 says:

      and another one:

      - Red realised he had to loose some weight when he had a problem with his spare tyre.

  23. Mike says:

    Autobots! Transform and Roll-out!

  24. One Crazy Idiot says:

    This is the last time Bungie tried remaking the Star Trek franchise.

  25. Anton P. Nym says:

    “Memo to self; no more white-water tubing on Construct.”

    — Steve

  26. XMixMasterX says:

    “This one is an abstract piece using the ‘splatter’ technique”

  27. Naepa34 says:

    The new “Spartan Rims” weren’t exactly what they had expected.

  28. HSAR says:

    Mum, I failed my driving test again…

  29. Ferret says:

    Spartans: Masters of Camouflage.

    Big Mutha Truckers: Spartan Edition

  30. Monkey_lord says:

    Halo 3 had a profound success in the mass marketing, designs for the new all terrain tire was set in place. Off roading was never the same.

    With the reintroduction of photo shop, the first set was not as expected as projected.

    I would like to introduce the new spartan spinner for your tires (results may vary).

  31. “What do you mean I’ve gained weight? I am too in shape! ROUND IS A SHAPE!”

  32. Robert B. Jee says:

    “Next time, watch where your driving!”

    “After watching Transformers: Revenger of the Fallen, Red decided to experience the excitement himself.”

    “I love driving on the Boulevard of Broken Limbs while listening to Green Day!”

  33. Carsica says:

    Red vs. Blue: When Pumas Strike Back

  34. Someone says:

    Blue teams custom alloy wheels based on a red corpse were a hit with drivers of the latest warthog, they were so popular that they began making elites too.

    Sadly, no one knew how they were really made.

  35. nixproto says:

    “Get me to the flag! They’ll never see it coming!”

  36. Begotten Apathy says:

    “Hi-Jacking. You’re doing it wrong.”

    “Winning. You’re doing it wrong.”

    “Not getting pwned. You’re doing it wrong.”

    “Ever seen someone get teabagged by a Warthog?”

    “Should have tried ducking under the Ghost instead.”

  37. retinence says:

    ‘Go go gadget warthog’ shocked the hell out of the Inspector when it happened.

  38. retinence says:

    After years of abuse, the Puma finally had enough of Sarge.

  39. SHAGGYDEATH says:

    Owwwch! Watch that bump! Damn! There went my head!

  40. LAZR Blade 14 says:

    After witnessing BLUE-918′s horrific idea for a “morale-building” addition to the warthog, Blue team had no choice but to give him a section 8.

    (For those who don’t know, a “Section 8″ referrs to when someone is discharged from the U.S. military for being mentally ill.)

  41. The Flying Spartan says:

    ONI’s Morph Ball experiments go just as badly as the Space Pirates’.

  42. The Flying Spartan says:

    This is why you should never read from the Necronomicon.

  43. TubaManMoore says:

    *In best Plucky Duck Voice* Spartan go down da hole!

  44. OneShotFilm says:

    Go go gadget wheels!

    Wowzers!

  45. El Dr Jan Itor says:

    Red Spartan’s first attempt at going “over the falls” at Niagra falls was… unsuccessful.

  46. Kamikaze8 says:

    Now THATS what I call a barrel roll!

  47. Snowy says:

    Why The Hell was he sleepin’ under the warthog for, Anyway?!

    Houdini and his “Wheel escape” trick gone horribly, horribly wrong.

    The warthog… It iz raping me!

    CoD4 crawlin’ under the cars trick gone Halo…

  48. mysterioso2006 says:

    Yah want to know what they do with dead spartans? Well, I hear they take their super tough skin and rippling muscles and recycle them with the armor into warthog tires….

  49. a flyin hobo says:

    Blue: Check out my new “Red sucks” rims.

  50. Ken Raves says:

    The UNSC matter transferring teleporter device had some bugs, to say the less.

  51. Chupa Cabras says:

    Damn That Harry Potter!

  52. phoenixfire says:

    “Rollin,Rollin,Rollin keep the Spartans Rollin
    Roll back.” (Old walmart song just slightly reworded.)

  53. GeneralCupcakes says:

    You see me roll on on my Spartan ~
    You’re thing I’m so White n’ Nerdy! ~

  54. tb2571989 says:

    DO A BARREL ROLL…oh, wait…I am.

  55. KkilljoyGuntT says:

    weeeee!
    this is why we have car insurance…
    ow…ow…ow…
    *thump!* did i hit something?
    hmm, must be a teleporter glitch…
    recycling gone wrong
    just when you thought they had fixed the marine AI’s driving, they introduced the arbiter!
    road rage!
    another one rides the bus!
    wait! i forgot my head!
    told you watching the spin cycle from inside was a bad idea
    so…dizzy..blarf!
    speedbump!

  56. KkilljoyGuntT says:

    skidmark!

  57. CBD says:

    Sarge: Maybe I shouldn’t have put that remote control in Lopez’s codpiece…

  58. Kamikaze says:

    Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to do a machinima remake of “Christine.” (old movie reference, look it up.)

  59. Connor Lonske says:

    “Magic Bus” time!

  60. Xaxus says:

    Red never did pay attention during highjacking 101…

  61. Mercury says:

    “Tartarus! You can just sit there all night if you don’t clean the rest of that spartan off of your plate! There are grunts starving somewhere in Africa, at this very minute, who would *kill* for a meal like this.”

  62. Mace Windex says:

    Red’s goatse attempt got out of control.

  63. plazmamuffin says:

    Halo: Cartoon Fight

  64. John Stvan says:

    “Look both ways” my ass.

  65. Owl Assassin says:

    When Red was promised cake by Aperture Science, he probably should’ve read the fine print.

  66. Cailus says:

    The moral of this story? Never sing “And the wheels of the bus go round.”

    Red 2: Wow…I can see up Linda’s suit from down here…

  67. Peter_Simp says:

    The halo version of starwars was going great, although putting C3P0 back togethor was becoming a bit tricky with a live actor!

    Portal gun not dangerous my ass… wait… where is my ass?

    The blues enjoyed their new tires… made out of flubber… this red wasn’t enjoying it so much

    The replacement parts for the warthog were working… stickly… at best

    I’ve heard about horse power, but how much is Spartan power worth

  68. Maiger says:

    They see me rollin’ they hatin’

    • Tactful says:

      Covenant think they can see me lean
      Active camo ain’t easy to be seen
      When they see me hijack they can see my green
      And my crotch in their face all on their HDTV screen
      Ridin with this blue chick, she’s all AI-SMART
      Next to the xbox controller is a figure of Tart’
      Hit a jackel outta the park
      Girl you ain’t know, I’m crazy like Guilty Spark!
      Just tryin to bone, feelin’ Miranda’s bewbies
      My Codpiece is in the face of Newbies!
      Elites on patrol, and you know they hate you
      Flashlight turned all the way up, and its Red vs Blue!
      I can speak for some Spartans tryin to boost they rank, son;
      You noobs aint never gonna get that Recon!
      But we packin somethin and so on the mics they stammer
      Matchmakin’ hackers gonna feel Urk’s hammer
      Security cell, with the swag shield door
      Who installed this spartan into the floor?
      Siamese Twin’s bungie rankings are pretty poor
      Cuz they aint stockin headlight fluid in the blood gulch store!
      Covenant t’ink t’ey can glass my system!?
      I’ll pin Truth to the ground whilst Arby fists him!
      This is my party when we out and playin
      Aint got the new Map Packs so I guess we’re Social Slayin’!

  69. Penguin Ninjoid says:

    So easy even a caveman can do – …oh…

  70. DotFortune12 says:

    This is what happens to armor after the owner get recon.

  71. WolfSarge says:

    New Forge Item!!!! Black Holes!!!!!

  72. humrh2 says:

    Somebody got the wrong idea of being “behind the wheel.”

  73. Chaelek says:

    Bungie’s Eye of Sauron for their new Halo/Lord of the Rings crossover is… disturbing, to say the least.

  74. DragonFire5380 says:

    Included in the most recent info regarding Halo: Reach was the enveiling of the new “Spartan Morph Ball Mode”.

  75. NartFOpc says:

    something something Action Sack

  76. AusQB says:

    Running low on resources, the UNSC were forced to “recycle”.

  77. Uccxxxv says:

    This wasn’t what red had in mind when he signed up for the wheelbarrow race at the spartan picnic.

  78. Spade says:

    When you Rick Roll Hawty, she Hog Rolls you.

  79. Spade says:

    I guess Bungie wanted to make something worst than the Banhammer.

  80. Qwepir says:

    “So this is what they mean by ‘Thinking with Portals!’”

  81. A Deaf Boy says:

    “…and the spartan goes ’round and ’round, all through the town.”

  82. Whaappened says:

    Even though the Arbiter had given Chief a swirly more than ten years ago it still haunted his dreams.

  83. Shirdel7221 says:

    You’ve got Owned, Pwned, and Cnwed. Now, get Tywed!

  84. Billdebeast says:

    What you get when you participate in sex games with miranda keyes.

  85. Anaconda: the Halo Edit

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Look guys!! My impersonation of Boba Fett!!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A Spartan’s failed attempt to be a Constructicon in Revenge of the Fallen…

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Hey!! Watch out for speedbimps you sonofa….*OUCH!!* What did i just tell you?

  86. LAZR Blade 14 says:

    Okay, another one:

    “F***ing blue shells!”

  87. Tactful says:

    After hours upon hours of relentless combat even a genetically-advanced super-soldier becomes tired.

    —–

    After many unsuccessful attempts Red Spartan finally got chosen for the hit UNSC-TV gameshow, “Wheel of .fortune”!

    —–

    Even in a videogame the penalty for stealing hub caps is severe.

    —–

    This picture was originally going to be a youtube video before Hawty discovered there was “no clip”.

    —–

    Red Spartan was trapped underneath the moving vehicle for hours before the Prophet of Truth decided to remove the Keyes

    —–

    Bungie Fans finally discover the Silent Car-togropher.

    —–

    “We’re not sure what Red Spartan’s message means, but it just repeats ‘Regret, Regret, Regret’!”

    Im especially fond of the no-clip one :P

  88. Tactful says:

    Pre-order your copy of Halo: ODST to recieve a secret code which unlocks a certain character for use in Firefight mode: The Michelin Man!

  89. Malcis says:

    Red was caught in the middle of his evidently failed tire check-up

  90. TAS9303 says:

    OMG watch out for the……too late….

    They see me rollin…in a tire….they are so jelous

  91. JoeSki73 says:

    According to my Spartan clock it’s 5:04pm.

  92. EXZA says:

    Divide this by zero an–
    -End Transmission-

  93. DTA MoonDawg says:

    Red knew from this incident that he should have finished mechanics school.

  94. Inventiveargument says:

    I don’t know if anyone has done this yet, I was so excited to put it up, but…

    Wheelman medal!

    The new Hawtness.

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