Friday Caption Fun, Round 44
April 24, 2009 106 Comments
If you enjoy the occasional zombie fix, you will be tickled pink to hear that this weekend’s double experience playlist of choice is Living Dead. Speaking of which, did you hear zombies recently changed their diet? They’re now eating graaains. Get it? Graaains? Like braaains? Oh man, I totally crack myself up! Let’s see if last week’s entertaining responses make you laugh as hard as I just did and then we can take a look at a brand new picture.
- “Everyone’s out so the Chief decides to look for his ’special’ magazines and have some quality alone time. The friction is already causing his crotch plate to glow.” (Don A K Bab )
- “Only a truly luxurious seat is suitable for the beholder of the index, the saviour of humanity, the avenger of the forerunners… The Recliner!” (Tactful)
- “Chief vowed never to let Cortana go after he found her all those years ago. Today, he lost her once again. Guess where.” (retinence)
- “The Halo 3 launch party was a rousing success until MC decided to it was time to show everyone his ‘M6D.’”(woodytondorf)
- “The Chief’s reaction when he first saw Cortana was…unexpected. Fortunately, since every other male in existence had reacted the exact same way, Cortana had learned to not let it bother her.” (Cailus)
- “Wake me, when you need me.” (Squirrelsaurus)
- “After a night of partying and drinking, the Chief wakes up to the not-so-pleasant surprise of a brand new codpiece piercing.” (Queen 0f Blades)
A codpiece piercing sounds kinda hot. That should totally be an option to add to our multiplayer Spartans. Until then, I’ll adorn everybody with one via some handy dandy duel spikers. I’m just nice like that, what can I say? What’s also nice is having a bird around to help you out during battle every now and again. The title of this rather interesting screenshot is “Seagull Attack” but what is your witty caption for it?
Author: olziboylojo
The recession was even effecting the UNSC. They had to go back to Mark I Pelicans.
best one ever!
Although the Spartans were happy to be part of earth day, the were unprepared for the copious amounts of bird poo that accompanied their comittment… t
Biiiiiiiird Man!
Golden warthog? Psh, old news.
There is nothing, nor anyone else, could possibly say to make this more amusing. So I’m not even going to try. Now, everyone’s going prove me wrong, aren’t they?
“…and in the news today, purchases of expensive Hornets by the UNSC have been shifted to cheaper Seagulls. The UNSC has expressed their belief that these changes will not effect their combat performance against the evil Covenant forces. In other news…”
I dont know what happened… i tried shooting down that damn thing and all of a sudden I was covered in this white mud! I mean Crud… yeah white CRUD!
In the interests of fairness, the UNSC Hunting association outfitted the seagulls with a few upgrades: A chaingun, a miniature Spartan, and a surprise from the rear that I cannot, in all good taste, mention.
Imagine if the Flood got to it…
All my repressed nightmares of Zombie birds have just come flooding back to me. No pun intended. I hope you’re happy.
Have you seen the third Resident Evil movie? Zombie Birds are assholes. But they can be taken care of easily with fire. Just keep a flamethrower around and you should be fine. :P
**A flamethrower with the mental ability to use it to light the entire sky on fire lol
“Hold RB to flip bird”
I think we have a winner. Well played. XD
I do believe this is the winner of the day. I lol’ed
Win
And also
Where the hell are we supposed to find a bio-diesel station around here?
Flipping bird replaces tea-bagging as a way to deal with spawn campers…
Mizzy’s reply was epic!!!!
Say hello to my little friend.
“Finally” cried yellow, “Somthing I can kill with my plasma pistol”.
Not days after US Airways Captain Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger III’s heroic landing in the Hudson river, the birds return to exact their revenge… this time, armed with chain guns.
Actually, I think I’m going to rephrase that slightly:
“Not days after US Airways Captain Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger III’s heroic landing in the Hudson river, the birds return to finish the job… this time, armed with tiny Spartans wielding chainguns.”
At first, Yellow was intimidated by this mechanically-upgraded bird. Then he realised it was bitesized, and actually looked quite tasty…
Is it an African Swallow?
european. african swallows do not migrate
Then what is the airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?
Blue attempts to unlock Recon armor by getting the incredibly rare achievement “Death From Above” for getting a kill with the Seagull M41 LAAG.
Everything was going well until the yellow guy from PETA showed up!
“And here we have the African seagull, who had evolved enough to exact revenge on the man with the airhorn.”
Although they had recent success in Shrink-ray technology, Blue team was rather displeased when Yellow team announced their Enlargement-beam breakthrough.
How do you steer this damn thing? we’re going to crash!!
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine
I’m not seeing comments I left here? Anyone? Bueller?
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
Somalia Pirates: They are assholes online too.
I have nothing witty to say about this picture. It is, however, the best Halo screenshot I’ve ever seen. At least the best one that included a bird.
A: Have you heard?
B: Heard what?
A: The word!
B: What word?
A: You’re telling me you haven’t heard?
B: Heard what?!
A: That this joke is old.
Spartan-102, ‘Gilligan’, could not believe what hit him when he scouted out the unexplored island.
Normal babies come from a stalk. Spartan babies come from cyborg seagulls, fully equipped to kick ass on the playground.
Epic!
Just where ARE all these giant seagulls coming from?
This week’s Double EXP Weekend: Little Bird Braaaaains
After their UAV program failed, the UNSC decided on other routes.
Seagulls, rats with wings….and guns.
or
“What weighs one and half pounds, poops everywhere, and is very dangerous?” “A seagull with a machine gun.”
Little Spartans were often read the story of Gulliver’s Travels to make them perceive all unknown targets as hostile. It was, of course, slightly updated to suit their needs.
Rule Number 1: Don’t piss the pilot off.
Rule Number 2: Don’t let the pilot piss.
Pilot: What button do I press to release the bomb?
Instructor: …Do you really want to know?
It’s sad, really. Even with a 2 ton Spartan riding it, this model of the Pelican will STILL crash less then the metal ones.
“Dennis, you son of a bitch! PETA is gonna be all over my ass for this!”
This is what happens when clay pigeons fight back.
A cheap and effective way to defeat the Covenant….arm the local wildlife.
Liliput’s contribution to the war against the Covenant was imaginative but largely ineffective.
If swallows can carry coconuts, then why can’t seagulls miniature super soldiers and mounted machine guns?
How can a five ounce bird carry a 1/2 ton Spartan? In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a seagull needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? Am I right?
African seagull
Oh an African Seagull maybe but not a European seagull.
After blue realized that the new “seagull” wasn’t a vehicle he was still optimistic, until…
Year 2552: The town of Bedrock launched its counter-offensive.
Year 2553: Birds took over Earth as the dominant species.
Though the UNSC’s last attempt at working with seaguls didnt work as well as hoped this time they were positive that it would work.
*Rumble rumble*
“Sir the carpet bombs are prepped and ready”
“Paint the target son then we can all go home”
Ace Ventura’s back and he’s pissed.
Now this Pelican drops bombs!
You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have seagulls with frickin’ Machine Gun Turrets attached to their heads! Well….whattya know.
Bungie’s original concept of the Banshee was immediately rejected.
The UNSC quickly learned it was a bad idea to let the pelican designers get into the alcohol.
If Hitchcock and Patton had a baby…
Do a barrel roll!
Due to strict emissions standards the spartans had to revert to using the “natural wildlife” as means of getting around.
“Although surrounded with rumors and hype the Mark V ‘Seagull’ was not as well-received by fans as might have been hoped.”
_______________________________________________________
“All you NEEEEEEED is a little uhn tiss, uhn tisss.”
Hold RB to flip bird.
When the Spartans came to the UNSC with designs for a proto-type attack platform that was cheap to maunfuacture, they weren’t expecting…this.
Bird: Needs More Dakka.
And to your left you can see…..HOLY SHIT!!!!
Press Z to do a Seagull roll!
As the price of gas was too high for the UNSC to afford filling up the pelicans they decided to try new green forms of transportation.
“Eagles! The eagles are coming!”
Yay, LOTR reference.
…However, when Jim experimented with acid and played Halo for the first time, his world was turned upside down.
This is what Smurf warfare was like.
“Mark my words, King Kong Spartan, my feathered companion and I shall have victory!”
“Heat seeking missiles? I laugh.”
how do people get these shots?? x0 amazing
“The Blues…they’re PLANNING something.”
“Attempted SkyJacks will result in lunch.”
“The design of the UNSC Hornet has changed drastically since it’s original conception……they’ve added missile pods.”
“Giant Orange, or tiny Blue? Dude who cares, that bird has a fucking machine gun!”
“Halo 4: Weird Shit – Exclusively featuring Giant-Machine-Gun-Seagulls and Even-More-Gianter-Orange-Bad-Guys!”
“Chaingun Mounted Storks: for when you absolutely must kill every motherf%!@er that wears Hayabusa shoulders!”
“Blue thought that riding a war-seagull was a good idea until it swooped down to eat a discarded sandwich on zanzibar beach.”
“the Red army soon found a way to thwart Blue’s arial assualt… antifreeze on a piece of bread worked like a charm”
Fries taken. Fries dropped. Fries captured
WIN! Nice one.
Seagull shits on EVERYTHING!
The eyes! Shoot it in the eyes!!
“Sharks with lasers have nothing on this!”
Even the woodpeckers come with technological advancements.
After the introduction of bird-seed grenades, Pelican attacks became increasingly risky.
So…. Where does the pilot go?
This is PETA! We’re gonna KICK YOUR ASS!
“Johnson, I need you on that bird…”
The shrink ray backfires.
“The yellow sparten gave reason for yellow armor, until he realised it was just his perspective”
yeah i Know, crap -_-
And this, my friends, is why you dont sniff Sharpies and play Halo at the same time…
“Hitchcock’s Birds decided to get with the times”
With “Swine Flu” taking the media by storm the Avian Birds had to find some way to regain their edge!
____________________
Yellow Spartan sincerely meant it when he claimed that Blue Spartan was extremely Gull-ible.
____________________
Yellow Spartan finally accepted that, whilst on shore leave, Blue Spartan had definately mounted one or two of the local birds.
____________________
Yellow Spartan returned from holiday to discover that his Team Doubles partner had found a new wingman.
Gulliver’s travels – the deleted scene
god damn i typed up four good ones but apparently they didn’t send through. ill re-type later.
Ensemble wanted to put this vehicle into Halo Wars. However, it would be inbalanced, so they decided to drop the design and sell it to Bungie.
or
“hmmmm… the blues ARE up to something”
or (sorry for the triple post, but everytime I press “submit”, something new pops up in my mind.
Ever since the seagull society felt threatened, they wanted bodyguards for protection
No worries, triple posts are fine around these parts. :)
“You don’t see something like that everyday”
Orange: “Dammit!! Where’s some alka-seltzer when you need it?!?!”
or
“Nooooooo!!!! I Just washed that warthog!!!!”
Economic crisis hits the UNSC