Upon seeing my Spartan in a pregame lobby, opponents are often intimidated into a panic-stricken silence. It could be my formidable Commander, Grade 4 global rank. Perhaps it’s my highly coveted and near impossible to unlock EVA armor. I suppose it’s always possible they looked up my Spartan Laser statistics and discovered I have an astounding 24 kills with that particular weapon in ranked games. Elite playing skills. Clearly I have them.
While I’ve previously kept my fail-safe gameplay strategies a tightly guarded secret, I have finally decided to share how I manage to be so damn good at Halo 3. You may be surprised to learn that success lies solely in the selected button layout. Whether you use Button Jumper, Green Thumb, or the default controls, I guarantee my settings are far superior to yours. I present to you the “GENERAL,” an extremely classified control scheme that allows you to consistently play, well … like a general. There are several other previously undisclosed button layouts, all created by the extremely clever Cheatlancer, waiting for you after the jump. Prepare for the ultimate enlightenment.
GENERAL
N00B
56K DIAL UP
MLG PRO
H3 ADDICT
NORRIS
BOOSTER
MODDER
SUPERINTENDENT
SHISHKA
DOUCHENOZZLE, created by Mizzy
FIRESTREAM, created by Firestream
DEFAULT for I Eat Zombies!, created by I Eat Zombies!
G4M3SL4Y3R BS ANGEL VARIANT, created by G4M3SL4Y3R
H4X, created by RtK Eternal
BS ANGEL, created by Kato (editor’s note: hmph!)
*Images posted with permission.
*A special thank you to Xor1an, who is working on graduating from the N00B layout, for the heads up! Want to make your own customized button layout? Use this basic template Cheatlancer so graciously made for general use. As always, if you a leave a link to your creation in a comment, I’ll add it to the main article!
Posted by G4M3SL4Y3R on April 16, 2009 at 4:15 am
Thank you! i’ve been searching for this since the bungie-post :)
Hawtness :) Thank you!
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 8:34 am
Don’t you hate that?! Looking for something in particular that you know is there but regardless of how you search for it, it doesn’t come up? Glad they came in handy for you here!
Posted by G4M3SL4Y3R on April 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Indeed, i hate it, there’s way too many stuff on google that screws it up if you try to find something..
I knew it was on bungie.net , i even posted in there, made a layout myselfe, but couldn’t even find my OWN reply back!! :(
A well, at least i found the layout thingy back again thanks to you! =)
Posted by Tom on April 16, 2009 at 1:28 pm
lol..here’s mine God Like
Posted by Tom on April 16, 2009 at 1:29 pm
crap i missed the Y button..lol o well..guess it’ll be Auto teleport and T-bag all new dead players
Posted by JLay on April 16, 2009 at 4:24 am
The “General” is hilarious. How many times has the de-stick, shoot around walls, and super lunge frustrated me. Seems that the double jump button is missing though. Perhaps the Eat BR Shots button is what I have witnessed when it takes 6-8 BR headshots to take them down after they just killed your teammate in a grenade fight!
Posted by SpartanT1g3r on April 16, 2009 at 4:53 am
Old pictures are old.
:D
I found these on the Bnet forum forever ago.
Lets get caught up, Hawty, I won’t tolerate laziness.
Posted by Xor1an on April 16, 2009 at 7:01 am
Old meme (“old X is old”) is old.
Yes, these have been around for a while. Someone pointed me at them yesterday, and they were new to me. I passed them on to Hawty and some other friends, and none of them were familiar with them either. Most people don’t read every forum post on bungie.net, so I’m sure at least some people who frequent this site will appreciate being introduced to them.
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 8:36 am
The majority of people I know don’t read any forum post on b.net, LOL … these are quite the gem. Thanks again for passing them my way Xor1an.
And SpartanT1g3r, you may not tolerate laziness but lucky for you I tolerate douchebaggery so it’s all good. ;)
Posted by oldskoolbatman on April 16, 2009 at 9:35 am
these had me laughing out loud. the douchenozzle is great, don’t we all get one of those guys a session? thanks for RE-posting that, Xor1an, I never would’ve seen it and laughed at the “shoot around walls” button otherwise.
Posted by rikufan38 on April 16, 2009 at 2:49 pm
lol
Posted by Fezzer on April 16, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Wait, Bungie has a forum?
Posted by Alpha Omega Fin on April 16, 2009 at 5:01 am
Lmao, these are hilarious :P
Posted by FishType1 on April 16, 2009 at 5:04 am
Why would anyone want to play like a General or MLG person?
Posted by Apollo Running on April 16, 2009 at 5:22 am
Haha I remember this thread.
Posted by BBJynne on April 16, 2009 at 5:31 am
omg the shishka one!
Posted by Ragingterror on April 16, 2009 at 6:06 am
These are ingenious. :D
Posted by Kato on April 16, 2009 at 6:21 am
I wish I could use the Shishka layout. Of course, I’d abuse it.
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 8:37 am
I think I would wear out my entire controller if I had that one!
Posted by swede33 on April 16, 2009 at 6:45 am
Those are hilarious! The MLG Pro one had me really laughing.
Posted by Xor1an on April 16, 2009 at 6:56 am
The 56k dial-up one had me laughing through the tears. How many times have I seen every one of those things happen? I’ve lost count.
Also, there’s a Darth Vader one.
Posted by Shishka on April 16, 2009 at 7:58 am
Kato:
Me, too.
Posted by Mizzy on April 16, 2009 at 8:25 am
How could I resist making one of my “favourite” kind of player?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/chibikenshin/doucheplayer.jpg
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 8:57 am
I play that person all the time, LOL!
Posted by Mizzy on April 16, 2009 at 9:55 am
Well, you clearly mentioned your Laser kills, so that might not apply to you xD
Posted by Rhamsey on April 16, 2009 at 8:25 am
i love this, and the spam nades button for the n00bs is awesome, and it makes so much sense.
Posted by Firestream on April 16, 2009 at 8:25 am
I tried all of those, but the one that I found to work the best for me is called the Firestream layout.
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 9:00 am
Hey, I use a similar layout Firestream, except my throw water balloon button plants plasma grenades on teammates backs. LOL!
Posted by Xor1an on April 16, 2009 at 9:59 am
Doesn’t your also have a “shoot glitter” button? ;-)
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 10:21 am
You are right! That would replace the rubber bullets I think.
Posted by A Deaf Boy on April 16, 2009 at 8:47 am
HAHA! Those are hilarious!
Posted by Visitor at home on April 16, 2009 at 9:03 am
Mine, sadly, is a mix of the noob one, and, well, sucking with every single type of attack ever made.
Ever.
Damned people wont stand still when I shoot them! :-)
Posted by Aperture S on April 16, 2009 at 9:21 am
Wearing Full Hayabusa Armor doesn’t mean you are a noob.
Posted by Wrinkly cat on April 18, 2009 at 4:23 pm
yes it does i use it!
Posted by Motanium on April 19, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Someone wears hayabusa like a noob!
Posted by Xplode441 on April 16, 2009 at 9:31 am
Hay!
My suggestion got up there!
I kept pushing Shishka on cheatlancer and it made it into the top 10!
Posted by Gilver on April 16, 2009 at 9:44 am
LOL!
That was great!!
Loved the Norris one
Posted by Viktim on April 16, 2009 at 9:55 am
Brilliance. Sheer brilliance.
Posted by stephen08 on April 16, 2009 at 10:03 am
Shishka layout needs to be combined with a turbo controller for maximum effectiveness.
Posted by JZ on April 16, 2009 at 10:14 am
=( I am an H3 addict considering I want to get my Brigy Gen. & buy Master Chief armor to wear for hallowen =( aww I fail =’(
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 10:21 am
No, that means you win!
Posted by JZ on April 16, 2009 at 11:15 am
na I think I do fail, lmao XD cardo, chuck 1 was lol
Posted by Cardo on April 16, 2009 at 10:15 am
Roundhouse kick, roundhouse kick, jumping-roundhouse kick … sleep while roundhouse-kicking … hahaha
Posted by Kevin on April 16, 2009 at 1:04 pm
The chuck norris one made me laugh to. All of them were just great really.
Posted by triptup on April 16, 2009 at 7:29 pm
i peed my pants. im grounding myself from h3 2nite!
Posted by duncan on April 16, 2009 at 10:33 am
lmao on the H3 Addict one for ‘X’ it should have been ‘VETO VETO!’
Posted by TK on April 16, 2009 at 10:39 am
Lol
These made me chuckle i like them alot.
I see Douchnozzle oh so often!
:D
SHISHKA OWNS!
Posted by xMixMasterx on April 16, 2009 at 11:03 am
Wow – this is one of the most entertaining articles of the week for sure.
The Norris setup is classic.
I like how Shishka’s ‘unban’ button is extra little – obviously it’s not important and rarely used lol
Posted by Kato on April 16, 2009 at 11:13 am
I couldn’t help myself, I made a bs angel one (based on her own admissions):
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y142/witfits/button_layout_bsangel.jpg
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 12:54 pm
LOL, …
I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!
Posted by Kato on April 16, 2009 at 5:44 pm
I kid, I kid. :)
Posted by King David 73 on April 16, 2009 at 11:24 am
lawl. these are pretty good.
Posted by I Eat Zombies! on April 16, 2009 at 11:39 am
This Is What i Use….
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/datn1ka/myspace/ControllerSetup.jpg
Posted by LordOsiris on April 16, 2009 at 11:59 am
Defiantly the Halo Addict Control Scheme for me!
Posted by Cheatlancer on April 16, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Glad you enjoyed them, and I am also pleased that the COD4 one is missing. Lets all pretend that never happened, ok?
Posted by G4M3SL4Y3R on April 16, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Haha cheatlancer :P
heres yours (the g4m3sl4y3r-variant) bs angel:
http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/6878/hawtymcbloggy.jpg
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Love the blog buttons, LOL!
Posted by G$ on April 16, 2009 at 1:46 pm
LoL, I’ve never seen these before. I don’t ever go on the bungie forums.. I only go on bungie to check my stats and such.
LOL at the general layout too.. man I have vids of generals shooting around walls, and actually eating 3 sword lounges in the face. I wonder what causes that. It couldn’t have been lag… or could it have been?
thanks for sharing this! =)
Posted by RK4N3 on April 16, 2009 at 1:58 pm
LOL… oh Hawty I love you more and more each day I read your blog.
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 7:00 pm
What a coincidence because I love you more and more each day that you read my blog! ;)
Posted by Chubby Belly on April 16, 2009 at 2:08 pm
UGH…. *super depressed*
I want to make a layout.
but I can’t find the right font. :(
*sadness abounds me*
Posted by Cheatlancer on April 16, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Myriad Pro, Bold…
Posted by RtK Eternal on April 16, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Haha these are some awesome button layouts xD
Created one just for fun:
http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z96/GMTaldeer/haxbuttonlayout.jpg
Posted by bs angel on April 16, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Nice!
Posted by The Thurmanator on April 16, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Sad thing is…there are actually “pro” Grifball teams. http://www.grifball.com/divisions.php
Posted by Queen 0f Blades on April 16, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Hah. Cool. And funny.
Posted by BabySmuggler on April 16, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Couldn’t help but make my own. *sigh* Social Slayer woes.
http://i42.tinypic.com/2r7vvjr.jpg
Posted by Aus_Askar on April 16, 2009 at 7:06 pm
56k Dial Up sounds really familiar, Australian internet sucks.
Posted by HALO3syourdaddy on April 16, 2009 at 7:10 pm
These are awesome lol. Love Shishka’s and S.I.’s ^_^
Posted by Morpheus on April 16, 2009 at 8:51 pm
HOLY SHIT.
General is so fucking true, IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
Posted by Morpheus on April 16, 2009 at 9:02 pm
I need to learn how to Photoshop so I can make my own controller layouts.
Posted by Idlewheelman on April 16, 2009 at 11:20 pm
LUVED these… they make me lol
Posted by Vince on April 16, 2009 at 11:35 pm
This is a really great top ten list. I usually go Greenthumb but my favorite is douchnozzle. Autobtray would be a nice button too. Anyone can post their own list to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list. Thanks for the codpiece freeness.
Posted by Scott on April 17, 2009 at 4:33 am
the douchebagnozzle layout is beyond true by the the amount of noobs that kill oyu for sniper then get 1 kill from 12 rounds at the same guy and they make fun of you because you come from diff places like i come from scotland
Posted by BATTLEMECH3 on April 17, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Yeh the h3 addict is me i have bought master chief novel and wrote reports about the book fall of reach i also collect the action figure and wear a set of h3 underwear. Man i need to find a way to stop my addiction
Posted by North Kozar on April 18, 2009 at 9:57 am
This is the one I end up using:
http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/43/northernbumperjumper.jpg
Though I’m sure everyone has the lovely get spawn killed or get lag killed buttons sometimes.
Posted by ensign117 on April 19, 2009 at 4:03 am
ummm…the noob 1 i use….is there a problem with this? not extremely funny!
Posted by HellCat on April 19, 2009 at 5:15 pm
So true to all of them
Posted by Xor1an on April 21, 2009 at 8:27 am
A good friend made one just for me which I think does a good job of capturing my Halo 3 personality. (“He ran out of BR ammo without getting a kill?” “Nice driving!” “How did he go -20 last game and +20 this game?” “Where did he even find a flag in this game type?!?”)
This was after I made one for him (which may not make as much sense unless you play with him as often as I do).
Posted by Normandy14 on May 11, 2009 at 5:53 am
This is one just for all of the CoD 5 Fanatics:
http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a201/Kalnjak/CoD5Buttons.jpg
Posted by Morpheus on May 11, 2009 at 11:32 am
Is there ANY way I do this? I don’t have Photoshop, which sucks, but I so wanna do one.
Posted by bs angel on May 11, 2009 at 11:45 am
I bet you could do it in Paint!
Posted by DethPwn on May 11, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I love the AR, and had dial up for a WHILE!!!