Friday Caption Fun, Round 35
February 13, 2009 96 Comments
In honor of Valentine’s Day, the Halo 3 double EXP playlist this weekend is V-Day Massacre. If you’re single, you can hop in and instantly get the hook up. If you are taken, you can go in as a twosome. (If you enjoy pulling in the occasional third person, you’re out of luck until three ball comes back.) Remember, the couple that slays together, stays together, as does the couple that captions together as well. So off we go to last week’s responses!
- “Come on in, the plasma’s fine.” (SIR COFFEE)
- “The reds where pissed off when they hopped in the hot tub only to find out that their armor would fade color with the slightest bit of dampness.” (ZZoMBiE 13)
- “Hey look! A Baby Ruth!” (Jonathon Fisk)
- “If I see bubbles, I’m outta here.” (Louis Wu)
- “The evening had been fantastic – great food, fine wine, sensual music. When getting in the tub, everyone knew it was about to get a little wild. The disappointment was palpable when it turned out their suit technicians had taken that particular Thursday off.” (SonofMacPhisto)
- “The Covenant soon found that their new ‘Plasma Quicksand’ was an instant success!” (Divine Plan)
- “Hey ladies. I bet in a couple minutes water won’t be the only thing inside your armor.” (Tog Ig)
- “Little did the spartan chicks know that behind that grey armour was Hawty McBloggy.” (Irregularly Patterned Pun)
It’s true, I do wear gray armor. I didn’t expect to get outed this way though! In an effort to change the subject as quickly as possible, I now present you with the next Halo 3 screenshot (at the request of the silver fox) available for your captioning pleasure. I have dubbed it a very simple “Save me!” but what is your witty caption for it?
Author: crowsman
Richard Branson really has outdone himself this time…
Sackboy’s foray into Halo matchmaking did not go as he had planned.
The Machinima remake of LOTR was… frivolous at best.
No, we need to go higher to reach the Sky Bubble!
OMG, I gotta find the box! I WANT THE LITTLE KATANA!
Living in the Land of the Lost.
GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF MEEEEEEE!
After all of the storks had retired, all baby spartans where then delivered by pidgen
[To] Strongside (verb): To retreat from the line of fire while protecting the head from headshot capable weaponry. Not effective against genetically altered seagulls.
Damn you, Hitchcock, damn youuuuuuuu….!
“MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE !!”
OM NOM NOM
So THAT’S where babies come from!
The seagull had it’s beak full when it mistook the shrunken Spartan for a big, juicy, red worm.
When the birds in Halo 3 learned they could be shot, immediate action was taken to prevent such absurdity.
Narrator- “It is a sad day for these sea spartans, however, for only a handful of the dozens of offspring will make it unharmed to the safety of the oceans. The rest of the hatchlings will only make a tasty meal for the predators who circle overhead.”
Hey! I can see my house from up here!
“Little did Jeffrey know that the left over cookie that he left in his armor from lunch would lead to his imminent and slightly hilarious demise.”
So the Red ones do taste like strawberry!
What did you expect the guardians to look like?
You have been killed by the Gulls
Ohhhh, so THIS is the Sharquoi!
[Henry Jones Sr.:] “I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. ‘Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky.’”
Mmm… Tasty…
NOT AGAIN!!
Red was ‘suppose’ to jump off the cliff, travel along the shoreline to the back of blue base, steal the flag, await transport, and score. Red never made it pass phase 1.
The UNSC’s new aerial insertion methods were, at best, risky.
I wish this bird really was carrying me…but it’s just a simple camera trick AND I’M FALLING TO MY DEATH!
The newest tactic in Halo 3: bribe the wildlife.
tired of being laughed at for flying into really clean windows, the birds retaliate and show the humans what it might feel like, except, you know, with a cliff.
With no Pelicans or Albatrosses the UNSC had to resort to Seagulls.
So THATS where my spartan action figure went!
Mah roflbird goes nom nom nom nom nom!
After months of frustrated filming, the Discovery Channel crew finally had their genius clip for the trailer of “Ring World.”
BSDST= Beach Seagul Drop Shock Trooper
Tastey spartan is Tastey
Honey! I shrunk the Spartans! (in lieu to Honey! I shrunk the kids! breakfast scene)
or
When Seagulls attack
Peter Jackson dedicates his Halo movie to Alfred Hitchcock.
Oni Test subject 343: SPARTAN – IV (Mini Spartans)
Notes: See attached photo
Experiment: HORRIBLY failed.
To Kill A Mockingbird…Invokes the wrath of all other avian species
When you eat your Spartans,
Do you eat the red ones last?
Do you suck them very slowly,
Or crunch them very fast?
Eat that armour-coated soldier,
But tell me when I ask,
When you eat your Spartans,
Do you eat the red ones last?
Bungie implemented severe consequences for people who tried to find super-bouncing glitches in Halo 3
God save thee, ancient Spartan
From the covenant, that plague thee thus
Why look’st thou so ? – With my laser-beam
I shot the ALBATROSS.
…
Ah. well a-day. what evil looks
Had I from old and young
Instead of the cross, the Albatross
from my neck was hung.
Little did we know that our litter was the only thing keeping the seagulls from taking over the world…
Next week, on LOST…
Are you tired of that monotonous banshee?
Is that Hornet not maneuvrable enough?
Do you want to concentrate on shooting instead of flying?
Now! For only 400 M$ points, you can have an edge on the opposition! With the new Seagull, you can easily get across the map, shooting along the way! Instead of a normal vehicle that is named after an animal, this IS a real animal. It will effectively and efficiently dodge incoming projectiles, using its virtual brain!
This is a Gold LIVE membership exclusive content
Halo 3 Game Add-on: Seagull*………………………………….400 points.
*Side-effects may include being swallowed and digested by Seagull.
Later, Red would comment the whole experience reminded him of ‘The Neverending Story, but with more neck pain.
- Honey, we shrunk the Spartan!
- Feeding Birds. You’re doing it wrong!
- The “Real Animals” mod released recently wasn’t a succes
Pa-kaw!
Somebody shoot the bird, it’s stealing McFarlane Halo 3 action figures!!
In Morgan Freeman’s voice:
Here, on the unforgiving tundra, the native bird hunts for items to use in making it’s nest. It’s time is short, and it will need to lay it’s eggs soon.
Polly was NOT satisfied by a cracker this time…
Due to the high utility cost of today’s world, the UNSC decided to implement the “Flintstone” method of flight transportation. Initial testing proved rather disturbing.
“If we slow down the camera here, we are able to validate the existence of the rather elusive ‘Guardians’.”
Submitted for your approval, a man. A man lost in the stars and his only refuge is that within the mouth of a bird, but even that birds mouth is refuged within something else, something we can only call; The Twilight Zone.
The Blue’s struck success when they found a giant hungry seagull that could eat the Red’s during their Annual Cliff Diving Competition.
Wrong pelican!
Pink 1 : you know, they were right.
Pink 2 : about?
Pink 1 : Black guys really are bigger
Black : ohhhhh yeah baby
Bird : OM NOM NOM NOM
Spartan : oh god damnit, not again
Blue guys : HELL YEAH GOT HIS ASS A 2nd TIME!!!
“Instant Constipation.”
Looks like somebody ran out of breadcrumbs.
In Soviet Russia, Pelican flies you!
“Seagulls: Evil in more ways than one!”
“Red noticed that his ‘super-size’ experiment went horribly wrong when he noticed a giant pigeon standing on the ledge outside his window.”
Haha! There are some great lines in here. Kudos to Ken and Zombie for the stylish, yet obscure, pop culture references!
First came the banhammer…
Bungie’s failed idea to incorporate pelicans as a controllable vehicle in Halo 3.
NO NO NO!!! Stupid bird! In the Neverending Story the kid rode on Falcor’s back not in his mouth! Now everyone’s going to think your going to eat me. Wait.. You’re not going to eat me?? Are you?
Looks like the start of a bad horror movie…
GOJIRA!
I said NO JUICE FOR YOU!!!
Wait till you meet the kids…
Even giant birds take their love home for valentine’s day.
Foehammer, we need pickup!
Wait till red sees the crap on his windshield…
Friggin modders!!!
Oh, what a wonderful bird, the pelican!
His beak holds more than his bellycan!
I just don’t know how the hellhecan!
That’s gonna be hard to digest…
Bird: Where are you without a sniper rifle now, huh?
Oh, god, I’d hate to see what the flying lizards on guardian are doing!
Polly wanna cracked head?
I told you! I’m not after your eggs! I hate omelets!
Fred Flinstone found he just didn’t fit into halo 3…
I’d hate to see the halo version of jaws…
No! No! NOOOOO!
*splat* Awww, man! I just cleaned my warthog!
That’s gonna be one dangerous poo!
Oh, god, I’M OBSESSED!
Bungie’s inspiration for the Pelican Vehicle appeared rather suddenly.
“AHHH!!!! I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CHICKS, LET ME GO!!!”
Flying in a pelican. You’re doing it wrong.
————–
Respawning after falling off the map. You’re doing it wrong.
————–
Zoo keeper: And that’s why you should not feed the animals.
No Scope!
And you thought the stork was a friendly creature
UNSC scientists had been experimenting with genetic mutations on non-human species. The results have been, less than desirable.
Thanks MacPhisto.
The red team was amazed when they found out that the Japenese films weren’t only weird they were true.
Spartan:..Wheres..the baby?
seagull:baby?! We’z gonna make the baby!!!
(its a family guy throw back and it kinda has to do with valentines)
Bungie could never get epic mounts to work quite right in Halo.
how to people get these shots?? so cool haha
A spartan makes a “flighty” attempt at escaping a watery demise.
And you thought the Cortana level looked like the inside of colon? Just wait til you end up in the damn gizzard!
DEEEEEP CROOOOW!
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, BIRDS EAT YOU!
-(shouted excitedly) “EEEEEEEEEEEAGLE!”
-”Who needs pixie dust and happy thoughts?”
-This was the original idea for the Halo: Combat Evolved final level, “The Maw”.
-”Ah, my one weakness! Bird!”
-”I wonder if I could hijack that bird from him…”
-”This is what I get for learning those bird calls!”
-”Bird watching was suppose to be a safe sport to take the stress off in between battles!”
-”I hate my life.”
-”This is the third time I’ve actually spawn INSIDE the bird’s mouth! What the heck?!”
After years of abuse, John Woo’s doves finally got their revenge on the set of Halo: The Movie
Unique to the Chroicocephalus ridibundus species, the mother will not ingest and regurgitate her food for her young because thats just plain nasty.
The Lilliputans’ attempt at using supersoldiers to combat the giant animals proved short-lived.
Due to expensive gas prices, the “energy saving” pelican was put into service. God help the marines in the cargo.
^Win^
Meet the new vechicle for Halo 3: ODST, The “Seagull”
Jon’s attemps at recon were a little…over the top.
Halo: Jurassic Park Evolved
This is not good……
The boys back at the office won’t believe this
Ok boy, just set me down over there
I’m sorry Death, the negative stereotype and large scythe were putting people off; so here’s our new PR campaign…
Better in the beak than spat from the ass!
Last minute Valentine’s gifts are usually the worst…
“Here I come to save the day!”
Shiny things and bird’s eyes = bad combination
OMFG fail: so when she said on Live that she wanted me in her mouth; I did not see that coming…
For ostriches and other large fowl, “Caw! Caw! Caw! The social.”
Dissapointed by the Phantom’s vulnerability to rockets and miniguns, the Covenant began designing a new model of dropship. The result of their best studies was the fatal “PELICAN SPARTANEATOR 9000″.
The dropship was deployed briefly due to copyright infringement claimed by the UNSC.
The first demonstration of the newest UNSC troop transport. This time around, it actually resembles its’ namesake!
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