Friday Caption Fun, Round 33
January 30, 2009 103 Comments
The recently hacked traffic sign was right! Bungie unknowningly proved the random “ZOMBIES AHEAD” warning correct as they announced this weekend’s double dose of EXP is Social Living Dead. That’s not to be confused with Not Social Living Dead where the zombies tend to be more unfriendly than usual. Before we hit the bountiful brains buffet, let’s do our traditional captioning of an Halo 3 screenshot. First up are last week’s responses though!
- “YapFlap the Grunt knew he was going to fool the Blue Team Spartans with his awesome disguise.” (ZZoMBiE13)
- “Willy Wonka’s foray into the realms of creating Super Soldiers was, ahem, rather short-lived.” (dragnew)
- “The obese Spartan found that the slimming pills and rigorous exercise routine came with some nasty side effects, he daren’t take his armour off and see if anything else had been downsized…” (MK28 )
- “Wow, manipulating your shadow to make “yourself” look bigger is SO immature.” (NartFOpc)
- “I’m a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout.” (Waffle Deluxe)
- “The Chief was quite horrified when he learned that the Covenant had managed to steal the blueprints of the MJOLNIR armor. He was even more horrified when he found that they decided to let Grunts use it.” (SuzumeShoujo)
- “Little did we know Charlie would rule with an iron hand. One of his first decrees was the establishment of an elite Oompa Loompa Spartan Squad, so his enemies would always feel fear.” (SonofMacPhisto)
- “So, THIS is what Willis was talking about.” (Desert Rat)
If you don’t understand the reference from the last quote, please go watch every single episode of Diff’rent Strokes. And if you don’t want to watch every single episode, at least watch all the special ones. Did any other tv show do the After School Specials-theme quite as well as Diff’rent Strokes? Clearly not. While I don’t think the lesson from the following screenshot is quite as significant as those shows, it’s still ridiculously entertaining. I can’t decide between the surrender and blind shooting theme though so I’ll leave the captioning to you this week. Have at it!
Author: d0ct0r wh0
He’s Got a Nooooo Scoooooope!
I’M THE COLETRAIN BABY!
OMG GHOST GUN SHOOT IT!!!!
Anyone else noticed that that brown spartan is slowely becoming white? oh noes… IT’S MICHEAL JACKSON!!!
STOP SHOOTING T_T I’LL THROW MY GUN AT YOU YOU DOODOO HEAD!
I put my rifle in,
I put my rifle out,
I give my rifle a shake, shake shake
And I turn myself about.
Blue: Hey asshole, this isn’t “Gears of War” so knock it off!
PEW PEW PEW
Dom found himself in a strange place, and suddenly realized that the cover system didn’t quite work as well as he remembered.
“Damn these things are heavier than they look”
“I can’t see him, he can’t see me. Right?”
“Hmmm was this mark on the wall always here?”
“Eight…Nine…Ten! Yes!”
i got your Star Power right here!
Where did my chainsaw go!? Where’s Dom!? Why am I wearing a helmet!? What’s happening?
Ha! can’t see me can’t shoot me! try and pwn this!
This guy: making odst armour look bad for the rest of us.
Blue: “Dude, what are you doing?”
Brown: “Hey, I gotta protect my face, it’s my ticket outa this army!”
“I’m too pretty to die!”
Halos of War, CONFIRMED!
The Golden Rule at work:Stay in cover or Die!
Dude, this isn’t Gears of War. Get your ass out here.
despite Luke’s assurance that ODST was a halo game, recent screenshots showed massive changes to the combat mechanic, Luke could hear the shrill cries of a million angry fanboys.
“Not the face!”
Blind firing: You are doing it wrong…
or
“Hey! Who made a big black stain on the concrete barrier and tried to cover it up with a battle rifle?”
If I give him the gun maybe he won’t shoot at me
Even in the 26th Century, the French have yet to break their old habits.
“There’s always chest high pieces of cover… always.”
Oh s***!! He shot back!
What Brown doesn’t know is that Church can’t shoot straight to save his life.
The Spartan’s learned a new fighting style “The Dr. Zoidberg Scuttle Attack”
and if all else fails, mother nature HERSELF will step in and make rocks fall from the ceiling creating chest high walls…
“The first step to Gears of Halo is the next step to world domination.”
I surrender! I surrender!
“Gears of Halo”
Why’s he shooting at me when I’m just trying to work out here on Venice Beach?
Ma roflrifle goes pewpewpewpewpewpew
No blindfiring? SCREW YER RULES, I WANNA LIVE!!!
“Press RT to…wait, how did you do that?”
Gears of War 2: So bad, even imitating it in other games causes glitches
Although, the feature of “Blind Firing” in Halo 3 had been a component for quite some time, it took three hands to hold all the right button combinations to do so. Plus, players could not do it during a live game.
Try as they did, the Browns were unable to resolve their conflict with the Blues through puppet show
Gettin Gears of War on yo ass!
In retrospect, using X for cover would have been going toooooo far….
How Gears of War “fixed” multiplayer.
UNSC Regulation Section 27 Paragraph 7007: It is recommended that Marines do not weightlift during combat. Even if they are pathetically weak.
The floating Rifle from 343 GS, Halo 3 Style.
Before UNSC acquired Covey weapon holder tech, low level Spartan’s in training were paid (poorly) to wear camouflaging armor colors and hold weapons at key terrain points during Red vs Blue exercises.
And you thought it was hard to out-BR me before!
after trying to combine the cover and blindfire tactics of GoW2, Bungie decided to just stick to crouching as a means of not getting shot
TAKE IT!
Thinking that adding the best gameplay feature from Gears of War would skyrocket Halo 3 sales, Bungie adds the “Hold RB to Shit Your Pants and Blindfire Like a Ninny” addition.
we are the support!
How Dick Cheney shot his Deer-looking friend…
That brown guy must have sent us that GoW2 invite spam! Get him!
“Someone help me, he’s 4 shot!”
“Betsy, is it clear?”
“Okay, who put the starfish on my rifle?!”
“Despite the numerous advancements in technology, the Mark VI still lacked adequate Blind Fire assistance.”
Bungie’s attempt to copy the Gears of War cover system was a failure, resulting in relentless flaming on the Bungie.net forums.
“Always Remember: Keep your head down”
Blue: Shit guys, watch out! He’s got the beam rifle.
Oh hi ladies, the gun show is -that- aways.
Alright jason, we get that your making a GoW reference, but would you stop doing it during ranked matches?
ohmigod that rock is a frowny face!!
That’s not a No-scope. THIS is!
grand theft auto IV, you’re doing it wrong
Although Bungie specifically stated that Halo3: ODST would not include multiplayer additions, the surprise introduction of the Battle Rifle gun-cam was hailed by BR aficionados to be the best thing since sliced bread. To everyone else it was just cheating.
…more like ten shit-tons…
what halo would have been like if Cliffy B had been leader producer…
Ghost Recon: Advanced Warrior did this long before Gears of War.
Little did the Blue Spartan know that the Battle Rifle was armed with an invisible periscope and explosive rounds.
Some thought the proliferation of Olympic sports had gone too far when the Combat Clean-and-Jerk was introduced.
I do love my diffren’ strokes..
Brown guy: Hah! You cant shoot me, hahahahaha!
(Frag grenade lands next to him)
Brown guy: Well…fuck.
That’s how we do it in Belgium. It’s called a “Belgian Dip”.
Scotty DON’T!!!
Halo 3: The Killzone Killer.
Stop shooting! Look dude I give up! Here’s my gun, see! I thought you were your sister. I’m sorry I tried to make out with you. You both wear the same armor. Dude Quit it! I give up!
You can haz rifle.
And one! And two! And three! Come on, work it! Four! Five! Six! It ain’t work until you sweat!
Sarge: Give me cover fire!
Marine: This hurts!!!!
I SURRENDER!
Dudes, haven’t you got the point? Halo and gears of war don’t mix.
If you think the gun is big…
The old motto: I can’t see them, they can’t see me, was quickly proven wrong.
Gears of halo ultimately failed in the box office.
Dude! I’m sorry i slept with your wife, okay?
Check out mah huge guns!
OH SHNAP!
KkilljoyGruntT’s jokes were far too many and too cheesy. He had to be punished.
I’m thinkin’ Arbie’s!
DON’T.CALL.ME.SHORT!
Yo’ momma so fat she-OH CRAP!
Blue: Crap, outta nades…
In Soviet Russia, pretty much everything kills you!
I’m sorry sir! You just be this tall to ride!
The hospital is thatta way
Brown was never good with the ladies.
The invisible frag grenade did have the flaw of distorting colors when thrown.
This noob’s SO gonna waste his ammo.
ATTENTION MONKEY! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! GET BACK IN THE ARBITER”S BUTT NOW!
The rock is frowning at blue’s horrible aim and brown’s GoW copyright infringement. (or just copy and paste part of that one to make it short enough)
HAND OVER THE COOKIES!
and that’s all…
i tink. do i try to hard?
wow that last pic is pwn LOL i wna do that!! MAKE A HALO 4 BUNGIE U LAZY BASTARDS!!! XD
Shishka: God damnit Cliff!
(Pictured above: When Halo 3: ODST was a Tac-Shooter like everyone though.)
“WHERE’S MY WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE?!”
Oh god Gunstar, nice refereance. XD
Do your best army man impression!
Adequate cover: Check.
Line of Sight: Errr…
Paintball taught me some pretty bad habits…
Little to the left, Doug!
“Anneka, can you tell me what happened next?”
To the uninitiated, it may seem as if I am surrendering… but why do you think I have my finger in the trigger guard?
Humpty Dumpty beat down Goliath from sitting atop his little wall.
“Hell yeah, baby! Everyone wants to see The Cole Train play!”
This is what happens when microsoft tries to combine two more series.
It works for the NPCs in CoD4!
The french Halo player.
Not having a white flag handy, Brown cleverly improvised, but unfortunately it didn’t have the desired effect.
Blue: “Must be some new kind of cloaking device.”
Stop shooting for pete’s sake! I’m just trying to show you my nifty gun!
Gears Of Halo Theft Auto VII
IMA WEIGHT LIFTIN!!!!!
‘So I got this gung-ho blue storming my cover, right, and he’s coming in with major suppresion fire: ‘nades going off here and there to keep me static, right. I’m hearing ‘pewpewpew’ from this rapping fool’s headset and the riddle of gunfire busting up my cover. I’m thinking, no way is this Douche teabagging my hide.’
“S’wat choo do?”
‘Improvised…’
Blue: “I knew there’d be days like this!”
Brown: “I knew there’d be days like this…”
“Dude, wrong game!”
Gears of Halo Theft Auto 6
“Cowardice, Your doing it wrong.”
“FUCK THAT! my insurance only covers chrushed pelvis and Death by Snu-Snu.”
After playing a little too much Rainbow Six, the Bungie team decided to implement a cover system.
In an attempt to prove that Halo’s multiplayer wasn’t as fun as Gears Of War’s, Marcus Fenix infiltrated matchmaking… only to find he didn’t quite fit in.
It was this screenshot that lead Bungie to find the jerk who was able to hack a Wii to play Halo 3. Now, he is forced to test all of the new Wii fit games.
This is why you do not let your 4 year old brother play video games with you thinking that this would be an easy game.
Cortana: Keep your head down! There’s two of us in here now!
Halo 3… you’re doing it wrong.