Friday Caption Fun, Round 32
January 23, 2009 112 Comments
While last weekend was especially lonely without our usual double serving of experience, this weekend we not only go back to our regularly scheduled programming but we also get to revel in the goodness that is the January Matchmaking Update. So grab yourself three balls (I’m way ahead of you on this one by the way), check out the multitude of playlist changes, and enjoy not having to hit the D-pad quite as often. Before you run off to do that though, let’s caption yet another entertaining Halo 3 screenshot, shall we? But as usual, first up are the rather hilarious responses from last week.
- “Chief to Arbiter: Dude, it doesn’t matter how much yoga you do, it’s never gonna happen!” (mendicantbias00)
- “It was at this moment the Arbiter realized that the Chief was lying to him and he wasn’t actually a Transformer.” (dragnew)
- “After trying to replicate the Chief’s epic entrance to Halo 3, the Arbiter found out that it wasn’t really that easy.” (eclipser 84)
- “Smells like… asparagus. The Chief was right.” (Waffle Deluxe)
- “After hours of Alpha testing, IKEA Arbiter was finally scrapped.” (Woody)
- “Chief would soon find out why the Arbiter needed the camera, enema bag, and orange juice.” (Mace Windex)
- “I knew it! I DO have a a monkey up there!” (KkilljoyGruntT)
- “Even though the Arbiter assured them that the Master Chief couldn’t resist this pose, Miranda and Cortana couldn’t help but ask themselves if this was really worth it.” (SuzumeShoujo)
I think last week’s responses can be put into two main categories, yoga and urk’s generic response, “Joke about masturbation and/or do-it-yourself style fellatio.” Yup, that about covers it! This week’s picture should solicit a variety of responses though as it’s really quite versatile, not to mention cute! I call it, “My Shadow and Me” but what is your witty caption for it?
Author: d0ct0r wh0 
Willy Wonka’s foray into the realms of creating Super Soldiers was, ahem, rather short lived.
Blue: Hmm…you know, I am not really sure that blue is my color…
One of the original Spartan candidates was banished due to his smoking habit which he had started at a young age, however he managed to steal and suit of armor and with a few custom changes he was ready to go!
steal a suit*
Grunka lunka doopity doo, the secret of Slurm’s on a need to know basis . . .
ding dong t3h witch is dead
This time, the oompa loompas mean business.
*Pumps shotty* “What did you call me?!”
We represent the UNSC, UNSC, the UNSC!
bs angel, #7 in the list has two a’s
“…and thats when chief decided to shoot himself with his own shotgun because everyone was making fun of his cancles”
No matter how hard they tried, the Covenant’s plans to infiltrate the UNSC with a grunt-in-disguise were always foiled
MC: “I will call him…..MINI ME!”
Wow, manipulating your shadow to make “yourself” look bigger is SO immature.
The UNSC were so desperate for soldiers, it was time to call up the hobbits.
*sniff sniff* This shotgun is 5 inches longer than my leg! *sniffle*
Introducing our new super soldier program “Hobbit Spartans”
Sorry Urban Reflex, I skimmed through the comments quickly and didn’t see you made a Hobbit comment.
Halobabies the game!
The Prototype Mjolnir Mk “Scooty Puff Junior” was a good idea in theory. . .
It took Gary Coleman FOREVER to get Bungie to agree to make his spartan ‘Life Size’
It’s time for…MIDGET SPARTAN DANCEOFF!
bungie employed a new update to make character models reflect the appearance of the players, first going by age… wait until they start going by sex too ;-)
Great things always did come from small, blue packages…that shotgun is just a bonus!
Baby’s First Shotgun
Jub Jub
*Practicing*
“Woah, woah, Ladies. Down….
There’s enough mini-MC for everyone…’”
Every player thinks that jumping from rather high distances will not affect your character. Well…. it does.
The Lollipop Guild are a LOT less friendly to visitors of Munchkinland these days.
After years of making armor, the spartan program finally ran out of shin pieces.
When Johnson asked him ‘Why do you always jump?’, cheif thought he would see if he could be like one of his hero’s from viva pinata and really turn into bits and peices. unfortunatly hes made of tougher stuff than that.
The new Spartan Funsize from Mars didn’t sell as well as original projections showed…
Don’t be fooled. Grunts have a Halloween too. And whats the scariest thing a Grunt can dress as? I rest my case.
wait for me! i gots the little baby legs!
Heheh, shall I cock it for you? Giggity!
“well ive never used a phone booth, and ive never seen my toes, when im going to the movies, i take up seven rows because Im Fat, Im Fat really really Fat. Dont you call me pudgy, porky or stout, but lemme tell once again, whose fat?”
Dink Dink, Dinkdinkdinkdink-dink-dink!
Verne Troyer’s audition for the role of The Master Chief hit a snag when his shotgun caused some minor balance problems.
YapFlap the Grunt knew he was going to fool the Blue Team Spartans with his awesome disguise.
Damn military cutbacks!!!
Ding-Dong, the prophet’s dead!
Ok, let me see, armor good, Shotgun good, all check.
Ok, time to shoot those dolls.
Negotiations having failed the union for the final time, the Lollipop Guild prepares for war.
I’m serious, that picture actually just made me LOL
And I love how urk watches your blog
The Smurfs are going to war.
“damn, I knew that last augmentation was too much…”
During training, infiltration spartans had some rather…unusual modifications.
Little did we know Charlie would rule with an iron hand. One of his first decrees was the establishment of an elite Oompa Loompa Spartan Squad, so his enemies would always feel fear.
Bungie takes a go at chibi Spartans…
If Cotton Hill was a Spartan.
In a attempt to appeal to a younger audience, Tim Conway introduced the world to the latest iteration of his ‘Dorf’ character.
The Halo movie producers had originally cast several well-known actors at the role of John-117. Sadly, Verne Troyer probably wasn’t one of their best choices…
Danny DiVito made a good “Penguin” not so good as a Spartan.
“does it really look like I could be your gunner?”
Oh my god!!! who uses the Mark V helmet any more?
Spartan 1.5s didn’t go well so they made Spartan II
Mini Chief couldn’t do much in battle, but he was small enough for recon missions in air vents.
Hello, I’m Verne Troyer, and I’m a Spartan. <== making a reference to the Warcraft commercial.
Thus finally ending the UNSC’s foray into mood adjusting drugs to better combat performance.
He is at the perfect height that if he shoots straight, he’ll hit the enemy in the groin every time.
This is your brain on drugs, kids.
Ender was starting to question the designs for the new flash suits.
TLC needed something to increase their ratings, so one of the executives convinced them that Little People Big World would be better if it were Halo style.
Call me an elf one more time…
This guy’s growth was stopped when he read BS Angel’s article about microphone soap.
“Stay away from the Gravity Hammer, people! Stay away from the Gravity Hammer!”
Grunty friends: Wahahahaha! Look at Yayap!
Yayap: Grrr, I only said can I have his HELMET…
Learn to play HALO 3 the DORF way
The UNSC was getting desperate for new spartan candidates, so they conscripted a legion of oompa-loompas
wait dorothy! you’re going to need a shotgun to protect yourself! Dammit, curse these tiny legs!
And so we observe a young child of the species “badass homo sapiens”.
The Shotgun: Suitable for ages 3-6, keep away from own face, only fire when camping.
Awww, they grow up so fast.
“Reminds me of my first shotgun, I was the happiest 4-year old in the county”
Quote from the Battlefield: Bad Company demo.
*sniff* they grow up so fast!
MC Junior tries on his hand-me-downs.
“pick on someone your own size!”
Oompa loompa, doompity dee; augmentations arrren’t for me.
Intel suggests these are Mattel’s spec ops commandos, training for action in first strike capability against Hasbro.
“Saaaay, not bad! I wonder if they make Recon armor in my size…?”
Honey I Shrunk the Spartan!!!
They prefer “little people”.
Look at him – just wants to be just like his father. Atta boy!
Thought I smelled cabbage .
Darn food nipples go strait to my thighs.
That day would forever be remembered as the day the first Spartan J.R would take its first steps to kili-hood.
say hello to my LITTLE friend!
Sorry, you must be this tall to ride.
and thus, spartan 118 was born
New power up: the shrink ray!
Caboose: Did I shrink?
Ahh, he’s so cu-*shotgunned in the face*
Caboose: Friggin grunts stole my armor again. Tex, can i sit in yours?
ZOMG! it’s ME!
Bobby’s big brpther will never pick on him again…
Shape of MIDGET! Form of SHOTGUN!
Santa’s elves got tired of making toys and moved to take over the world…
The night santa went crazy…
he’s such a dick steroids make him shorter!
Master Chief: So apparently,it IS possible to impregnate an A.I….
Mommy, just gimme the cookies. NOW!
A fusion of ZZOMB13 and BS Angel!
I don’t pay you grunka lunkas to sing!
New i shouldn’t of rolled as a gnome…
New mark 6m armor! (m=midget)
Sugar stunts your growth kiddos!
And thus, the grunts were integrated into the UNSC!
Yayap: Yes, mwahaha! Our infiltration plan is going perfectly!
zomg, i love putting like 50 of these up! I wonder if ill win again? lol!
Dad, I really don’t think I’m ready for this yet.
We prefer the term ”vertically challenged”.
“We represent. The shotgun guild! The shotgun Guild! The shotgun guild! And we welcome you, to Halo!”
“Daddy said I’m not supposed to play with his toys…”
Wow, he’s short enough to use that shotgun as a crutch, or like a third leg, or a fourth if he took off the codpiece.
The Chief was quite horrified when he learned that the Covenant had managed to steal the blueprints of the MJOLNIR armor. He was even more horrified when he found that they decided to let Grunts use it.
Bungie finally had it with the whiny 6-year old Halo players asking for Recon and decided to give them something that “suited” them a little better.
“Where’s baby Arbiter? He owes me money.”
“Judge me only by the size of my gun!”
“Jackass’s weeman in a spartan suit”
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo…
Oh crap, nevermind. Already been done.
“Baby’s First Mjolnir, now available in blue! Order now and receive free shotty!”
The beauty of minature, is that when I squeeze the trigger in your face, the recoil will help me escape… Muahahahahahar!
Towering above the diminutive trooper, I scoffed at his meagre size… then he produced a shottie from nowhere, my grin soured…
The obese Spartan found that the slimming pills and rigourous excercise routine came with some nasty side effects, he daren’t take his armour off and see if anything else had been downsized…
“And I said: is that a shotgun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me!”
I’m a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout.
For Frodo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mark V armor and a shotgun, just what every kid wants!
-This message brought to you by the NRA & ONI.
Bungie unveils a new armor permutation for those @$$#*)%$ who used to always play as Knick-nack or Odd-job in the 007 series…
or
Hank Hill’s dad defends the great state of Texas from the Covenant…
So, THIS is what Willis was talking about.
Efforts to build a Spartan out of LEGOs were less than spectacular.
once upon a time there was a Spartan named Jay who lived on the 50th floor of a massive apartment complex. Every day after working at the military base he would take the elevator to the 27th floor, then take the stairs the rest of the way. After the covenant invaded his home planet however, the spartan took the elevator all the way to the 50th floor.
now the most logical explanation for this would be that Jay was a midget and that he could only reach to the button for floor 27, but when the covenant occupation forced him to take his shotgun home, Jay simply used it to push the correct button in the elevator.
if you believe that, then you are wrong. Jay used his shotgun to shoot many covenant in the face including the shipmaster leading the assualt. He then proceeded to sprinkle glitter and confetti on the bodies, framing the clown his superiors hired for all of his birthdays. (he hated that clown…) on that same day, Jay politely asked for maitenance to include a midget friendly interface. Also he was a Pirate, ARRGH!
~Admiral Madden~
“After depleting all the ammo, this spartan amputated his shins and threw them his opressors.”
“Johnson thought that this lonely spartan was a chicken… sure is lucky that only the legs are missing!”
this is the monkey arbiter found up his butt.
Say hello to my little friend.
So that’s why miranda needs a fake eye.
You’ll shoot your head off kid!
And at this point, the witch realized that water colored armor would melt her, much like normal water.
*Standard equipment for Ommpa Loompas when traveling through Vermicious Canid and Wangdoodle Territory.