Friday Caption Fun, Round 30
January 9, 2009 110 Comments
As we settle into our first official week of the new year, I find myself buried under several feet of snow. The roads are dangerously slick, the temperatures are frigidly cold, but my connection to Xbox Live is gloriously green. You know what that means, right? Double EXP and Grifball baby! While I prepare my bomb for a delightfully explosive weekend, how about a recap of last week’s responses? Then we can caption yet another entertaining screenshot.
- “A skillful ninja hides and waits for the perfect time to strike his prey… this guy is just stuck.” (retinence)
- “The Elite returned upstairs after he couldn’t find fava beans or a nice chianti.” (Grumpy Jedi)
- “Of all the rotten places on the map, I had to respawn here. Sonofa…” (StealthSpeed3)
- “They locked angel up to stop her from betraying anyone else.” (Das Kalk)
- “Caboose’s Elite-feet-foot fetish was getting the better of him. He had began reaching through the stair grills just to touch them.” (MK2B)
- “Oh come on man, let me out! I promise not to make any more ‘wort wort wort’ jokes!” (Sarge Tomzilla)
- “In the 2552 re-write of the Tell-Tale Heart, the killer found it exceedingly difficult to dismember the heavily armoured body for disposal, so he had to settle for just hiding the whole thing in Harry Potter’s bedroom.” (Penguin Ninjoid)
- “IT’S A LEGITIMATE STRATEGY!!!!!” (NiTrOuS 343)
It is a legitimate strategy, you don’t have to convince me. Give me a shotty, make me spawn in those comfy quarters, and I’ll happily sit there for the entirety of the game, weakening shields, firing off rounds, and throwing grenades on unsuspecting victims. I apologize if I get you and you’re on my team, but it’s impossible to see color clearly through the grates. Seriously, totally not my fault. I’ll tell you another thing that’s totally not my fault, and that would be Miranda’s questionable condition in the following screenshot. I know you have a witty caption for it, so hit me with your best shot!
Author: DARKMASSA
Master Cheif’s a… Girl?
Resistance is futile… you will be assimilated.
Damnit, ragingterror beat me to it.
“GET TO THA CHOPPAH.”
Sarrah Connor?
Master Chief: Jesus, you were gonna kill Johnson!
Miranda: Of course; I’m a terminator.
“The next twist in the Terminator plot line came as a suprise to everyone, not least to Bungie Studios.”
all your recon are belong to us
she’ll be back
Oh my god! the flood have adapted in to a new form! IT’S ROBOFLOOD!
All your base…. Naa it’s been done.
“Om Nom Nom Nom” (This one may take a minute to figure out)
“After the Human-Covenant war, research to bring back the casualties were explored. The results were……. unexpected”
“OMG Miranda…………. is that a zit on your forehead?”
“Miranda, is there something you are not telling us about your sexuality?”
Miranda our new Seven of Nine
Six is afraid of seven, because seven eight nine!
Bungie’s new project will finally answer the question: Who would win in a inter-galactic battle, the Flood or the Borg?
Om Nom Nom Nom” (This one may take a minute to figure out)
WIN!
“Om Nom Nom Nom” (This one may take a minute to figure out)
Brilliant! :D
It’s the new style of Terminator movie- CGI with video game characters as the main characters. Here’s Lara Croft as the new T-3500.
“Don’t stay heah eef you want to live.”
Little Marine: “I can see right up your nose! Ew…”
ED-209: “Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply.”
“…ok, what? My mom liked her new refrigerator a bit too much, alright? Now can you please stop staring?”
or:
“What? Is there something in my teeth?”
And this is what the T-X looked like before they cast Kristanna Loken in T3.
Only when Johnson found out she was a machine did he realize her emotionless face made complete sense now.
Guess who’s a Cylon?
“Your parts are showing”
“I need your clothes, boots and your motorcycle.”
you thought recon armor was cool? check this out!
Miranda always secretly feared taking a wound to the face and ending up with a metal nose. “At least the nose is mine,” she told herself. “At least the nose is mine.”
The bride of Shiska.
Hawty: Post HBO assimilation.
“miranda, how many spartans did you meet at spring break?
“Aww hell. I lost a contact.”
So Skynet actually SAVED all mankind. Why would anyone want to shut them down?
Master Chief: First Jacob Keyes becomes Flood, then daughter Miranda becomes part Cyborg?!
*shakes head*
That family is messed up dude.
Dang it, Das Kalk and pete the duck beat me. I don’t know what else to say.
Come with me if you want to live!
“Well excuse me! They attacked so fast I just jumped out of bed and didn’t have enough time to put my face on.”
… see you on the Grifball court
“Well excuse me! They attacked so fast I just jumped out of bed and didn’t have enough time to put my face on.”
In an effort to compete with the Arbiter’s funky fresh armor, Miranda Keyes has acquired multiple piercings to reclaim her status as the “sexy one”.
If looks could kill: you’re next!
Enclosed is the last photograph of said Stepford Wife going apesh*t; I demand a full refund by the time I leave the hospital, Weyland Yutani…
Come with me if you wish to be in the sequel!
The sweet spot of Rule 34 al’a Halo and Borg.
I love the gentle curling of your lips as you smile, the tiny creases below your eye as the smile shines; also, the red laser beam emanating from…
Er dude, I think that’s the REAL reason you shouldn’t hit a lady!
“Its not what it looks like…” *looks in the reflection of cheifs visor* “ok dammnit it is what it looks like…but i have an explantion”
“IMA CHARGIN MAH LAZOR”
Lord Hood told her to scan the area for hostiles… Miranda got a little overzealous
Johnson: “Ill keep you my dirty little secret!”
Little did everyone realise, it was actually Haloween and Miranda had always been a Trekkie
If shes a borg…then cortana can… and get in her…. thats hawt.
After Halo 3 Miranda fuffiled her dream as the Govenator of California
We can rebuild her. Make her stronger, faster…
It’d be hard to make her more annoying though.
You either die a supporting character or you live long enough to become the cyborg.
As long as she doesn’t start humming to herself and calling us “Reclaimers,” I’m cool with it.
Wow Commander, that was a hell of a sneeze!
Every Star Trek fans greatest dream came true when they brought the Borg to Halo
Well you wanted Miranda back for the next Halo, but we all know you didn’t really care for her personality or anything other than the fact that she had lady parts… so heres a robot with all her body and nothing else
*With Demolition Man artistic licence*
You’re going to regret that for the rest of your life: the whole 7 seconds of it!
‘You’re just to good to be true, can’t take my eye off you. You feel like Heaven to touch, I wanna FRAG you so much…’
Getting Teabagged is the least of your problems now, pal!
‘Terminator’s don’t feel pain…’ but a compliment on the effort of their make-up would do wonders for their confidence.
Miranda reveals her true beliefs to Johnson after the discovery of yet ANOTHER alien artifact buried on Earth.
“I no longer belive that Johnson. The visions cannot be denied. The Reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join with them. Sovreign is a machine. It thinks like a machine. If I can prove my value, I become a resource, worth maintaining. There is no other logical conclusion.”
(I hope someone gets the reference)
“Get to the choppa… er… Pelican!!”
*Ad Nauseam Cyborg love songs:*
‘I said my Darling, you looked Ubersome tonight!’
Angels with (cyborg implants and) dirty faces…
And they said my acting was wooden!
CZzzt: Giant Cinnamon-coated, Chocolate-centred Donut: CZzzt: Target Acquired!
I don’t know what’s scarier: that she can now kick the MC’s butt or that she looks even sexier.
*Notice the relative size of the marine in the bottom right hand corner*
“During the war, ONI’s research and development team was so understaffed that they began turning to Evangelion fans for weapons ideas.”
@ Chips Dubbo: Awesome Mass Effect reference man!
As soon as master chief’s back was turned, Miranda revealed her worst crime of all. Copyright infringment
My mommy always told me not to play with eyes, ’cause I might shoot my gun out.
*With Marvel’s Earth Singularity artistic licence*
After nearly 32 cycles and ’616′ human experiences, I’m finally beginning to understand the concept behind a one-night-stand!
“She seems different, y’know, I just can’t put my finger on it, Jack.”
“Maybe you’re pressing all her wrong buttons, Ned.”
Halo Franchise? Well and truly terminated…
Don’t print that!
Edge: The skinning models over many of the main characters appears incomplete but the original story arc created by Jason Jones still resonates… 7/10.
The marines decided the newest Evangelion unit was decidedly more lilfelike than it’s predecessors.
“Now, how do I pilot this thing? Do I climb in the mouth or what?”
“Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?”
Look about fourteen inches downwards. THOSE aren’t real either.
“I need your clothes, your boots, and your Mongoose.”
And in other news, a virus by the name of ‘BS Angel’ has infected the androids of the Theme Park: Westworld, causing them all to become rather amorous and arousing double entendres and sexual innuendo in all they come into contact with… the local Goverment hopes to rise up and lay down any potential hostilities, spread eagling the infected forces and pounding them into submission!
*Covers face*: I’m expecting a ban, I feel I’m so getting smacked with one almighty ban. In my defence: I mentioned Westworld and Androids before I went Pron double entendre… if that helps my case.
January 9th, 2009: The day Bungie became self-aware.
The explanation as to regular Marines couldn’t have a HUD.
The explanation as to why regular Marines couldn’t have a HUD.
Initiating scan beneath MJOLNIER Mark VI armor…
crap, I spelled mjolnir wrong… that’s a typo, rather than me being a noob
Miranda Keyes: Orphaned Love Child of Sonya and Kano.
oh hai! Im in ur base, eetin ur marinez.
Now I know why Jenkins cried. But it is something I will never be able to do.
I found Shishka’s Bnet avatar in Halo 3!
Chief: Johnson, I know you took Miranda’s death hard…but…Damn.
After she died is Halo 3, Bungie found a way to still bring miranda back.
Even after Marathon, Bungie’s BOBs still live on.
After Starfox Andross got a makeover…and lady parts…..and a tiny marine
I’MA CHARGIN MAH…EYEBALL?
I still don’t see the arrow but that sure is obvious!
I don’t remember Miranda saying,”I’ll be back”…
That really makes me wonder about the arrow now…
After a malfunction, Miranda keys is revealed to be a “fembot”.
Bungie recently released some concept art they had on the back burner, proof they originally came up with the idea for Terminator: Salvation.
sorry for the double post, just looked at the picture again and realized something:
“GOD SEES YOU, MORTAL FOOL!”
After years of trying to hide the truth Capetian John Luke Picard final revealed he had always been LeQutis and also a trany.
Terminator Miranda: “My mission is to ensure the survival of John 117 and Katherine Halsey.”
“xXsaraconnerXx69?”
“y3z?”
“pr3p4r3 2 b3 pwned!!!!1!1!!!!!!111″
Unconvinced her protection was adequate enough, Miranda finally decided to say “yes” to the state-of-the-art Spartan Laser optic piece.
… Unfortunately, Ms. Keyes died shortly after of severe neck trauma and whiplash.
Marine: wow. she really needs to put some make-up on
Chrono Trigger 2: The Robo fusion
For once the story actually ends with, “She’s a robot”.
“Johnson, have you seen my makeup anywhere?”
Turns out A321 “Harkness” wasn’t the only cyborg in Rivet City…
“after much consideration, Bungie believed a giant slingshot aimed to the sun won’t just cut it”
“My Solid Eye isn’t working right…oh wait, wrong series.”
The latest in UNSC technology upgrades. The Cheeck gun! Results may vary.
Despite her best attempt, Miranda could never come close to the dashing handsomeness that is Jean Luc-Picard.
mad eye moody!
She can’t has roflcopter cuz she r alredy be roflcopter!
Scanning… Scanning… Yes my internal sources indicate that you are indeed a human who suffers from both dwarfism and perception.
So…if you’re a cyborg and all, what’s goin’ on with, uh, those bits?
Al7eredBeasT: Portal ref FTW!
This marine mistakenly uncovered the truth behind Miranda’s seemingly indestructible body after the Chief tossed all his grenades, unloaded all of his ammo, and continued with a barrage of pistol whips against her. This marine is now MIA.
HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
Mirandas new eyepiece was capable of shooting 9mm rounds when feeling violated.
“After having a bet with the Master Chief on the ability to triple wield, Miranda shows up the next day with the unexpected… and twenty bucks.”
Miranda always seemed to have kinda robotic animations… now we know why.
“I am the Marandinator”
or
Johnson: There’s something on your head.
Miranda: What? Is it a spider? Get it off!
Johnson: No, it’s not a spider, it like a metal thing.
Miranda: Is it a metal spider? Get it off me!!
“Hasta La Vista Baby!”
“KISS ME OR I’LL CRUSH YOU!”
“when Johnson fled to the pelican with Miranda’s body alone, we all thought he was a Necrophiliac… when really he was a Technosexual Freak…”
“Where to, Ma’am?”
“We mahst find Jahn Cahnnah!”
Wow, I guess that toe of the camel picture of her was….. mechanical? Gross.
Little Marine: Now I can see the “7″ scar on her face.
Detecting stupid. Set mode to DELETE.
After years of the 3RROD, Microsoft finally found out what was causing the problem.
When Johnson warned her “You’ll shoot your eye out!” while she was trying the newest mod of the BR-55 Miranda thought he was just quoting that damned Christmas movie…
or
Marine 1: Dude I wold seriously get the hell out of here if I were you…
Marine 2: Whyzat?
Marine 1: Because the CO’s givin you the evil-eye…and in her case looks CAN kill!
EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!
or
It was only after the TARDIS materialized that the UNSC realized they had been infiltrated by Cybermen.