Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

b12y4n51m0n (that’s Bryan Simon to all you non-1337 speakers out there) is premiering his first live show tonight at 4 pm PST (5 pm MST, 6 pm CST, 7 pm EST, midnight GMT). I have no idea what’s on his official set list but I would imagine fan favorites such as He’s One Shot On My X and Teabag Me will be making brief appearances. I heard through the grapevine that he may sing a brand new song as well so if you have a thing for Halo-themed music, be sure to tune in later tonight for the concert. I will be live blogging the entire thing so get your butt to the  live streaming channel then open a new tab here as well. The live blogging will go down in this post so if you want to participate, come join the party in the comments. Anything funny posted down there, I’ll be sure to add to this main window as well. See you in exactly two hours and twenty minutes. And don’t expect me to be too nice. I didn’t change overnight ya know.

Hit the jump for the live blogging goodness!

3:57 – the concert is slated to start in three minutes. the chatroom is busy. someone just asked if anybody was up for an orgy. gotta love the halo freaks.
3:59 – it started. he’s wearing a weird ass hat. he should turn on the heater instead of wearing that.
4:01 – OoZombie15oO just pointed out that the concert started at 7 pm EST. seven. seven. seven.
4:02 – he’s whistling. maybe he’ll whistle all his songs instead of singing them. it would be an improvement at least. ZING! oh, i’m just kidding. don’t get your panties in a twist.
4:03 – he’s tuning his g string. hawt.
4:04 – just started! he’s singing thank you bungie.
4:06 – can i have host for life, LOL … yes please?
4:08 – predator’s here. he has bushy eyebrows. not my words.
4:09 – second song started. you can teabag me. that’s what he’s singing. you better not teabag me. i’ll shotty your face. i’m not kidding.
4:10 – “you have a fanboy in me” what a coincidence. i had a fanboy in me the other night.
4:11 – i’d teabag him any day. i just typed teavag instead of teabag. freudian slip?
4:12 – he shaved just for this concert. he’s sporting a pretty nice goatee. i kinda sorta have a thing for facial hair.
4:13 – third song started. his mom wants recon!
4:15 – 160 people watching. and none of them can shut up.
4:18 – bungie will give his mom something. it’s not recon though.
4:19 – fourth song. snipers poop in their diapers. real7alk should podcast with them. they’d totally have a good answer to their crap in your pants question.
4:21 – i swear he just said penis.
4:22 – up and down. up and down. right after saying penis. man, this concert is the best.
4:24 – fifth song. something about snowbound. i hate snowbound. fucking shield door campers ftl.
4:25 – ghost town! the artist behind ghost town is hawt. best. map. ever.
4:26 – he just said he’s naked. i checked the live stream. he’s not naked. false advertising. i’m suing.
4:31 – sixth song, one v. one. i could use a one v. one right about now.
4:32 – or a one v. two.
4:33 – hell, one v. whatever. i’m not picky.
4:34 – seventh song, apparently he bought his 50. i’ve played him, he’s not kidding. he sucks.
4:35 – (he actually kicked my ass. but whatever.)
4:35 – according to b.net, i am a commander, grade 4. how much could i sell that for?
4:36 – apparently i blow since i am a commander. like anybody didn’t already know that.
4:38 – song number eight, grifball. he just mentioned his nuts. i never knew we had such similar interests.
4:41 – refreshed and can’t connect back to chat.
4:44 – made it back in the chat room just in time for the jerome comments.
4:45 – he just mentioned that his voice always cracks. perhaps he’s going through puberty? i play against people like that all the time in matchmaking.
4:46 – ninth song, the banhammer. remember fellas, it’s not the size of your banhammer but how you swing it.
4:47 – from Mr Farenhiet:
Hawty, you missed one whole song!
Dollar Store internet…*tsk**tsk*
Upgrade to Walmart
you buying?
4:48 – HE JUST MESSED UP
4:49 – no clue what number song we’re on. he’s singing if i worked at bungie for a day. i know what i would do if i worked there for a day. but apparently he has different ideas than i do.
4:51 – what the commenters would do if they worked at bungie for a day: get a flaming head, steal the master chief statue, and something about potatoes.
4:54 – new song. he wants master chief for christmas. what the fuck. we’re gonna have a throw down here in a second.
4:56 – he wants him wrapped up and tied with a bow. i want him naked. i guess everything is ok.
4:57 – i’m confused why he doesn’t want cortana under his tree. i think we can all make a logical deduction from this.
4:58 – next song, one shot on my x. i don’t understand. everybody is always four shots on my x. oh well.
5:00 – this has been going on for one. entire. hour. my hands hurt from typing. i’m getting hungry. and i have to pee.
5:01 – someone just requested free bird. LOL
5:02 – looks like things may be wrapping up. he’s talking about how he doesn’t have anything against people who live in their mother’s basement. i don’t either. the mothers may though, just sayin’.
5:04 – he’s singing again. i don’t think we know this one.
5:06 – two minutes into the song and i haven’t heard a single halo reference. i demand my money back.
5:08 – he’s gonna sing teabag me one more time. then he’ll stick around for chatting and questions. right now he’s still in the middle of a five minute commercial for every halo website ever.
5:14 – he wants you to teabag him. he’s pretty much sending you an engraved invitation. i expect anybody who plays him in grifball tonight to accommodate him. it’s the polite thing to do.
5:16 – it’s officially over. i need a cigarette.
5:25 – his website. his youtube channel. buy his cd for $7.
5:27 – if anybody wants to serenade me, please just send me the channel information. otherwise, i’m out!