Friday Caption Fun, Round 26
November 28, 2008 87 Comments
Not only is today Friday, but it’s also Black Friday (which marks the beginning of the traditional Christmas shopping season in the United States). Many determined bargain hunters grudgingly wake up before the sun breaks the horizon in order to participate in the ultimate hectic shopping experience. For others, the deeply discounted offerings are not nearly enough of a temptation to leave the incomparable comfort of their warm bed. I would definitely be in the latter group so while I hit the snooze button one more time, please enjoy captioning another Halo 3 screenshot (after recapping last week’s entertaining answers of course!).
- “All the other guys on the team laughed when they replaced Jimmy’s vaseline with gasoline.” (TheRenewedValor)
- “Wow, Grif, that’s gonna blow Caboose’s ‘lighting a fart’ trick out the water at the Christmas party!” (MK28)
- “I think he has the term “fire in the hole!” a bit backwards.” (A Shaky Shotgun)
- “After holding the flashlight between his legs, the Spartan proceeded to use shadow puppets to recreate the Battle for Reach.” (Surrender)
- “When Blue came looking for water every one thought he just ate something really spicy. Red knew better.” (retinence)
- “In retrospect corpse-humping an incineration kill is a VERY BAD IDEA…” (sleepymarine)
- “It was when his armor turned red and fire started shooting from his body that Joe decided it was time to find a better-fitting suit that didn’t chafe so much.” (Trace)
I must say, I don’t think any amount of anti-chafing cream will help that problem! Besides, if you’re anything like me chafing is the least of your worries today. I know I’m still recovering from the overindulgence of yesterday which brings me to this next image. It is my opinion that this Spartan clearly had a bit too much to eat at last night’s Thanksgiving dinner (much like I did!) but what is your witty caption for this rather unique screenshot?
Author: TANGO8888
HEY! HEY! HEY! IT’S FAT ALBERT!
His friends had to resort to energy whips, because nobody was going to try to take the last drumstick themself.
When the Blue asked for a bigger suit, he wasn’t expecting the company’s reply.
After camping with the sniper for years, the doctor finally made Spartan 109 play Grifball nonstop until he shed his extra weight.
Left 4 Dead’s boomers may not suit halo…..
Sorry for double post, but I just thought of a extension
Left 4 Dead’s boomers may not suit halo… Hey, whats those things which are running towards us?
I need to cut down on the Admiral Ackbar cereal.
Tired of always being last pick at dodgeball, Blue brought a little friend that he hoped would change the team captain’s minds!
does this armor make me look fat?
Fat ? who you calling fat!
This is pleasingly plump! and I brought my hammer to prove it!
hey now..it’s the day after thanksgiving and i haven’t taken a dump yet!
In an attempt to become more popular, Oprah Winfrey has taken up grifball in her spare time.
Wow, the camera DOES add ten pounds…
or
That brute threw up a ton of perfectlty good jackal meat… so I ate it…
Since when did Rosie O’Donnell start playing Halo? D:
The Spartan only then realised why he should never play Grifball after Thanksgiving Dinner.
New! From Sarge Simmons Stuff Inc., just in time for Christmas: The Phallic Shotgun! Now you can REALLY screw over the Blue Team!
Delta Squad didn’t eat the Jackal Steve had cooked up for them…so a Spartan came along…
The Grifball referees are still trying to decide if eating the red team is legal.
Caboose had really over indulged himself at the Red vs Blue Thanksgiving buffet.
Wait, you ate the WHOLE TURKEY!?!?
Shut up, Kyle! I’m not fat! I’m just big boned!
Bungie’s secret armor permutation: The Midwestern American.
“Guys? What’s this coming from my nipples?”
Due to the inactivity, this is the unexpected consequence of Boosting.
Most people see Blue as fat. I see a great ‘tank’ for Grifball.
The results of playing in the Turkey Day playlist for too long…
Might be time to purchase “eight minute pwnage.”
RUN FAT BOY, RUN!
All I have to do is take off my armor and we can go chunky dunking together.
Obi Wan never told you who your -er, you gonna eat that, boy?
I would have been your daddy but pretty much EVERYONE beat me over the fence!
Could we go with a rightsided profile shot, puhlease, I’m feeling a little exposed.
When he said he was falling on the ‘grenade’ for the team, I had no idea I was the ‘grenade’. He’s not going to call, is he Alice?
Wow, I didn’t even know they made the armour in XXXXL
Don’t You Judge Me!
My, you sure look scrumptious, c’mere, let me take a good look atchoo. Oh this ol’thing, I jus use it to light my way s’all.
And when I asked for a bra to go with the jockstrap, the Bungie guy just laughed at me!
STOP using the Force Caboose, and run those Goddamn assault courses instead of hovering the whole time!
And in other News: The mysterious disappearance of food rations has been cleared up today with the suspension of a defiant Spartan; the supersoldier claimed he’d been set up!
BIG Game Hunter!
Damn Princess: there’s a whole lotta cottage cheese in them there ‘hose!
BBW WGSOH and her own PS ‘n’ BFG WLTM…
You really think I have a body for the Radio?!
The 10 Pounds Of Beans test is the best way to determine if your armour has any leaks.
Hayabusa, It makes you Fat
ok, who let Queen Latifa play halo 3?
*enter Peter Griffin laugh here*
After stepping in immulsion, Chief became bloated and began to explode.
The new hidden multiplayer skull, I Would Have Been A Fatty
Blue had been warned that eating too many plasma licorice whips was not good for his health, he ignored the warnings.
“The irony of being stuffed by turkey wasn’t lost on Blue.”
The Blue light told me to eat things
Who ever said fat guys can’t do water bending?
“the camera adds 10 pounds, I can’t explain the other 50 though… (cries)”
“after the spartan 2′s were made public, the UNSC lost their complete controll of Ned’s lifestyle… he indulged.”
“when posed the question CAKE or DEATH? this spartan chose PIE!”
“In this case, the cake was NOT a lie. In fact, Aperture Science had multiple ‘lies’ left over.”
Lets see you doubt me again when I say I can eat 5 plates of Thanksgiving dinner!!
Sarge! I loved those severed human hands!!!
Elvis was abducted by aliens. Now they are making him sing Blue Christmas on that oversized microphone.
dont confuse the sticky grenades for sticky buns. you might end up with thunder thighs and severe indigestion..
Hello Grifball Meat-Shield…
zomgwtfLOTSOFBBQ!!!
Dude, those twinkies really did a number on you!
Don’t tell me you ate the whole 747, did you???
All those cookies and orange juice really got to Caboose…
One Size Fits All!!!
Literally
“I AM HEAVY WEAPONS GUY!”
“IT’S COWARD KILLING TIME!”
Isaac had a new idea for dealing with the necromorphs but first he had to pull it out of the cold dead hands of earth’s best soldier.
Mister Chief visits the Fable universe
Hammer visits the Halo universe
When they asked for the Halo version of Samus’s armor they thought that they would actually be able to roll over people instead instead of just falling over.
(Heh, I stared at this picture for 20 seconds before realizing blue was a fatty.)
-When placed as the head of the anti-flood resistance, the only plan Grif could think of was to “beat them at their own game.”
-Poprocks and soda– even the chief isn’t invincible.
OR
-Poprocks and soda– The chief’s one weakness.
-In a problem now referred to as “The Packman Conundrum”, food goes in but nothing comes out.
-I’m not fat, I’m fluffy! (Comedy network, go watch.)
-This is why retired heroes should stay retired.
-Problems arose when caboose began to admire grif’s lifestyle.
OR
-Grif has the luxury of custom made girdles thanks to sarge– no such luck for caboose.
-Internal testers were hailing the “Super size me” power up an innovation to rival forge– Unfortunately one of Bungie’s key sponsors is McDonalds.
-Another reason not to fart in a space suit.
-Finally a gamer who’s honest about their weight!
-Bungie was considering outsourcing the work on halo 3 to Epic Games after GoW was such a success- Early screenshots clearly show it wasn’t working out.
-When he picked up the ‘Eat the Souls of Your Fallen Enemies’ diet, Todd never bothered to check the calories per serving.
-Chafing became very serious issue around the Holiday season for the Blue Team.
-Unfortunately for Caboose, the ‘Flush’ button on his suit was located on the original factory edition shoulder pads.
-Sally Struthers invades yet another once-guiltless pleasure.
-Mjolnir Mark VII: Now Dwarve-friendly!
-Cartman gave up Call of Duty 5 for good when he discovered the Gravity Hammer works on kitties, hobos and dirty hippies too.
On second thought, trying to inflate a metal suit was a bad idea.
In hindsight, trying to inflate a metal suit was a bad idea.
This is what happens when Micheal Moore plays Halo…….
@ Whaappened: More Specifically Green Bay Packer Fans or Chicago Bears Fans ;)
“I’m big”
If you think him walking is bad, just wait ’till he teabags someone!
Marcus: “Look out! It’s a Boomer!”
Dom: “No it’s not. It’s just a Spartan from Halo 3 enjoying the new cafeteria menu’s food, duh!”
Spartan: “I’ll…get…you…. Oh what the hell… ”
XD
Seriously? 70 comments in and still no one has said this? Sigh… if you want something done right you have to do it yourself! :D
‘I like big butts and I cannot lie. All you other brothers can’t deny…’
“Who invited Sheila’s sister?”
A player with an eating disorder so bad it spilled over to their onscreen persona.
Happy Fat! The body’s contentment is the mind’s delusion/Or how I lost 200 pounds on the ‘Neo Atkinus’ Diet…
Death is a hot blade stalking you slowly… perhaps too slowly.
“Step aside boys, let a REAL man show you how to cut off them Turkey balls.”
“I may only have a two inch fuse, girl, but I’m like 700lbs of dyna-mitey!”
More cushion for the explo’shun.
“You name me another Spartan that can achieve my size and still have a working Plasma Sword, then we’ll talk…”
“I want Sarah back in the house by ten, is that understood?”
Blue team’s latest failed escape tactic, filling their suits with helium.
Grunts, albeit delicious, are very high in cholesterol.
The most realistic halo screen shot… ever!
the N-0013 Mjolnir mark VI variant, codename “teh noobsuit”, is especially good for beginners, or for goalies in grifball. Extra padding around the arms and hips prevents shattering/powdering of the bones. (WARNING! DO NOT WEAR THE N-0013 while using the EL-33T-CF, we are not responsible for any teamkilling/suicides resulting from the conjunctional use of aforementioned gear as it WILL result in (a) death(s).)
Victim of a teabag: *cries*
Therapis: It’s okay let it all out…
Victim: it was horrible…. it was.. dark then light… then dark then light…. it was like being beaten with a grocery bag full of water balloons…
Yo Spartan is sooooo fat…
…that when he hauls ass, he has to make two trips.
Wondering how he was going to survive, Bubba tightened his grip on the gravhammer. Just then a beam of light pierced the darkness…it was going to be okay, the Pizza truck had finally arrived…
FATBOY WITH A SHTICK!!!
Just something short and sweet.
Holy Shit! Is that a giant sperm in the corner?!
Why did I look when you said that?
call me fat one more time and someones face is going to have quite a hammer mark to explain to mommy – Post thanksgiving trauma
Unfortunately, Jim’s “Griff Ball” career ended when the thanksgiving incident came to pass.
The new armor coming to Halo 3: Chunky armor.
“You don’t run away from me Billy! Give me back my pie!”
When asked what Blue ate for Thanksgiving, they didn’t believe (or understand) his one word answer of a “turkducken”.
And we thought Caboose’s top ten list was a stupid reason for choosing the Mark V armor… Just look at Blue here, he’s wearing the Mark <3 F00D just because he heard Sarge mention the severed hands for Thanksgiving! (Copyrighted by Sarge)