I have been unusually addicted to Lone Wolves lately. For some odd reason the solitude and playing without a mic has been oddly relaxing. Needless to say, I was excited to see the double experience playlist featuring the 12 player ranked FFA Legendary Brawl this weekend. Antisocial ftw! After recapping last week’s responses, I’ll leave you to captioning yet another screenshot while I go dig myself farther into my hole. I’ll come out next week. Maybe.
- “The chief had warned his brute buddy about playing Mirror’s Edge.” (Das Kalk)
- “Dude… those food nipples sneak up on you.” (Louis Wu)
- “Chief: Oh My God! I can’t believe you actually ATE that infection form…that was so worth the five bucks! Brute: Shut the F *Vomits* uck Up!” (mendicantbias00)
- “Told you not to challenge Yoozel to a drinking contest.” (BerserkerBarage)
- “After Hawty’s anniversary party, the place was a mess, the Chief was passed out in the back yard, several grunts had made off with the TV …but nothing prepared her for what the brutes had left for her in the bathroom.” (Mercury)
- “Fuck the Forerunners, you pray to THIS god now!” (SonofMacPhisto)
- “After losing his job to a Grunt, Bruteson developed a serious drinking problem.” (Dusty Boy T)
- “Alas Poor Yorick, your skull IS in there.” (Admiral Madden)
- “John immediately regretted agreeing to show the Brute his face.” (newguy2445)
More than 20 screenshot activities later and I think last week’s picture may have had the funniest captions yet. Mixed in with all the anniversary wishes (thank you so much for those!) were the most hilarious responses that had me ROFLMAO plus many more long strings of capitalized random letters. That was definitely some good stuff you guys and gals came up with! Let’s see how you do this week with another Halo 3 screenshot optimized for your captioning pleasure. I call it, “Ready to toast your marshmallows” but what is your witty caption for it?
Author: Wasausky
Posted by dnefpooz on November 21, 2008 at 3:44 am
Check out MY firecrotch!
A firecrotch, or an FC is someone who has red hair, but also has red hair in the lower region. (Not all red haired people have red hair down there as well.)
Posted by Jim 028 on November 21, 2008 at 3:47 am
I need to cut down on the caffeine, every time I pee, it’s like a burning river of fire.
Posted by Drag0n D214 on November 21, 2008 at 4:01 am
“i think she might have an STD i knew i should have used a condom!!” – Drag0n D214
Posted by Mace Windex on November 21, 2008 at 4:22 am
Doug cheated in Lone Wolves by opening the Crotch of the Covenant.
Posted by Das Kalk on November 21, 2008 at 4:24 am
Does this look infected? and w00t i got a caption!
Posted by newguy2445 on November 21, 2008 at 4:46 am
‘Not even this armor can contain how hot I am for you right now’
Posted by newguy2445 on November 21, 2008 at 4:47 am
The Chief decided to combine his two favorite activities, wanking off and flaming people, the end result, a flame penis.
Posted by newguy2445 on November 21, 2008 at 4:50 am
The red team revealed their secret power, a flaming penis, all the noobs bowed down and got burnt in its glory.
Posted by newguy2445 on November 21, 2008 at 4:51 am
‘I know what the ladies like’
Posted by newguy2445 on November 21, 2008 at 4:53 am
As well as giving away Recon, Bungie decided to make flaming helmets available to all, so they created a new armour permutation, flaming crutch-plate.
Posted by newguy2445 on November 21, 2008 at 4:54 am
‘If you can’t handle the heat, get out of my pants!’
Posted by mendicantbias00 on November 21, 2008 at 5:32 am
“It’s weird doc…I have this burning feeling every time I pee. I just can’t figure it out…”
Posted by The Last Hunter on November 21, 2008 at 5:50 am
“Take Aim…… Fire!”
Posted by Waffle Deluxe on November 21, 2008 at 6:04 am
My gun is a blazin! … and, uh by my gun I mean my private area, just wanted to clear that up.
Posted by Matoro3311 on November 21, 2008 at 6:05 am
Damn, Nature! You so scary!
Posted by Matoro3311 on November 21, 2008 at 6:06 am
Another one:
Blue: Does it itch?
Red: Does what itch?
Posted by Matoro3311 on November 21, 2008 at 6:07 am
Eat it!
Posted by Celsius070 on November 21, 2008 at 6:12 am
Red Spartan: “Why does everyone say that I’m flaming
or
Jimmy was he envy of all his friends, bungie had the flaming head, but he was the only one who had the flaming crotch.
Posted by StealthSpeed3 on November 21, 2008 at 6:13 am
Mine’s Bigger!
Posted by Crunchbite on November 21, 2008 at 6:31 am
After realizing he had taken the rocket fuel instead of the lotion, Bob tried desperately to save his manhood. Stop, grip, rub!
Posted by Tog Ig on November 21, 2008 at 6:47 am
Melee this!
Posted by A Shaky Shotgun on November 21, 2008 at 6:49 am
I think he has the term “fire in the hole!” a bit backwards.
—-
Talk about blowing your load.
Posted by Tog Ig on November 21, 2008 at 6:55 am
This is my rifle. This is my gun!
Posted by Tog Ig on November 21, 2008 at 6:57 am
You think this is cool? Wait till I fart!
Posted by Firestream on November 21, 2008 at 7:14 am
“Achievement Unlocked: Lit your crotch on fire”
Posted by SPOC XLI on November 21, 2008 at 7:21 am
oh snap, someone shot a rocket at my groin region.
Posted by Queen 0f Blades on November 21, 2008 at 7:31 am
I like Shaky Shotgun’s answers. XD
Hmm… I got nothing.
Posted by Mizzy on November 21, 2008 at 7:36 am
“What do I have to do to get some penicillin around here?”
Posted by Tristan on November 21, 2008 at 7:37 am
“Halo Pr0n makes me so hot man…”
Posted by ManKitten on November 21, 2008 at 7:38 am
“FIRE MANCANNON!!”
Posted by BerserkerBarage on November 21, 2008 at 7:39 am
[Dr. Evil]I shall call it, “Mini-me!”
–NO! Mini-me we do not light people on fire!!
—That’s a bad mini-me…[/Dr. Evil]
Christ, I thought Lindsay Lohan was the scariest firecrotch I knew.
Ever wonder why there isn’t a Mrs. Chief? Yeah, this is the answer.
(Wiggity-w00t for making it on the list last week <3s Boozel!!)
~B.B.
Posted by CrazedOne1988 on November 21, 2008 at 7:51 am
Due to his busy and hectic lifestyle, the chief never got a prostate exam. So he never found out exactly why it burned so much when he pee’d.
Posted by CrazedOne1988 on November 21, 2008 at 7:52 am
“FLAME ON”
Posted by HarbingerDawn on November 21, 2008 at 8:30 am
“Custom power-ups FTW”
Posted by Chaelek on November 21, 2008 at 8:34 am
As Kelly found out, SPARTAN periods are a little… different than those of normal women.
Posted by MattDGiant on November 21, 2008 at 8:42 am
John never did realize why nobody wanted to sleep with him… they always said something about a “burning sensation”.
Posted by Shu Sam Chen on November 21, 2008 at 9:05 am
Sometimes, I feel like my ass is hanging out. On this occasion, however…
Posted by Das Kalk on November 21, 2008 at 9:27 am
@ ManKitten: EPIC WIN
and also:
“feel the burn”
Posted by PsycheDiver on November 21, 2008 at 9:29 am
(in a super-robot pilot voice) FIRE-COCK… BLAZE UP!
Posted by Deepcee on November 21, 2008 at 9:59 am
How do you like them apples? And by apples, I mean my inbuilt flamethrower!
Posted by GMoneyChuck89 on November 21, 2008 at 10:11 am
In the distant future, STD’s cause horrible damage.
Posted by Woody on November 21, 2008 at 10:12 am
Tea bagging’s for wimps.
Posted by GMoneyChuck89 on November 21, 2008 at 10:14 am
“What happened to you, man?”
“Well, my priest circumcised me with a blow torch.”
Posted by 117649 on November 21, 2008 at 11:49 am
you really want me to frogblast the vent core cortana?
Posted by Mercury on November 21, 2008 at 11:53 am
Remember how people got all glowy in Touched By An Angel? Well, um, she touched my special area! :(
( http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season9/wiggy7.mp3 )
Posted by Fushiko on November 21, 2008 at 12:09 pm
“the ladies call me the red dragon for a reason…”
Posted by the Light Show on November 21, 2008 at 12:13 pm
red team’s desperate attempt to increase their incineration metal count…
Posted by DareDizzle on November 21, 2008 at 12:14 pm
You wanted it “hot”…right?
Posted by the Light Show on November 21, 2008 at 12:14 pm
shit, ‘medal’ awesome spell check… real awesome…
Posted by cbd on November 21, 2008 at 12:25 pm
…and Red learned the hard way that you’re supposed to blow out the flame BEFORE you down the Flaming Jesus
Posted by Lovemuffin on November 21, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Erectile Dysfunction Medicines for SPARTANS have unexpected side effects.
or
“And that’s when Smiling Bob stopped smiling…”
Posted by rowboat 000 on November 21, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Vent Core Frog Blasted.
Posted by SonGoharotto on November 21, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Gotta represent the Blazing Saddles crowd: ” ‘Scuse me while I whip this out!”
Posted by Metalingus627 on November 21, 2008 at 1:51 pm
“You know what that is? That’s Old Greg’s vagina! I got a man-gina! I’m Old Greeeegggggg!!!!”
Posted by phoenixfire360 on November 21, 2008 at 1:58 pm
talk about pissing like hell
Posted by Surrender on November 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm
After holding the flashlight between his legs, the Spartan proceeded to use shadow puppets to recreate the Battle for Reach.
Posted by Zee-V70 on November 21, 2008 at 2:14 pm
“Just wait until you see the Fuel Rod Cannon I carry.”
Posted by falcon011 on November 21, 2008 at 2:18 pm
SECRET WEAPON *BLAM*!! Aww, you thought I was reloading, didn’t you? Go hang your energy sword in shame.
Posted by MK28 on November 21, 2008 at 2:42 pm
You want mustard on this baby?!
Feel the heat of my new Melee attack.
I’m fireproof; you’re not…
Killing Spree: “You’re aflame!”
Premature inflammation affects 1 in every ten Spartans; don’t let it happen to you. Phone the ‘Hotline’ for instant relief.
Calls are charged at $8 per minute.
Posted by Shaggydeath on November 21, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I told them I needed a secret weapon but this is ridiculous
Posted by Chickenlittle on November 21, 2008 at 3:03 pm
It’s like a Kitten Cannon, only better!
Posted by troika1138 on November 21, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Oh OH OH Ahhh, Boom Goes the Dynamite.
Posted by Robbie on November 21, 2008 at 3:20 pm
“I take it you’re happy to see me!”
Posted by tanaka sagara on November 21, 2008 at 3:32 pm
“I got your spartan laser right hear. shoop da whoop”
Posted by retinence on November 21, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Look Ma!! No gun!!
Posted by Desert Rat on November 21, 2008 at 3:32 pm
The Spartan Man-Missile containment system has failed.
Posted by retinence on November 21, 2008 at 3:35 pm
When blue came looking for water every one thought Blue just ate something really spicy. Red knew better.
Posted by retinence on November 21, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Step 1: attack blue.
Step 2: ??
Step 3: When step 2 fails, escape. WARNING: Severe external groin pain may ensue.
Posted by PikminGod on November 21, 2008 at 3:57 pm
“Here is my rifle,
Here is my gun
This one’s for fighting
This one’s for fun”
Posted by Don113 on November 21, 2008 at 4:08 pm
“Viva Viagra! Side effects include: Crotch Fire, Rocket Balls, and Premature Flames.”
Posted by tobias grey on November 21, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Yet another reason not to have anonymous upgrades.
Posted by Spade on November 21, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Hey guys, guess who I just played against. Lindsay Lohan! Don’t believe me, here’s a screenshot to prove it.
Posted by xgamertagtakenx on November 21, 2008 at 4:51 pm
*clap* FLAME ON
Posted by xgamertagtakenx on November 21, 2008 at 4:51 pm
told you marines were flamers
Posted by xgamertagtakenx on November 21, 2008 at 4:52 pm
dry humping at Hawty’s bday party got a little out of hand.
Posted by TND on November 21, 2008 at 5:02 pm
and boom goes the dynamite
Posted by ALTEX on November 21, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Then I said to her, “And you thought my shotgun was powerful in close quarters?”
Posted by Chris101b on November 21, 2008 at 5:57 pm
“Pew Pew Pew”
Posted by Mithal on November 21, 2008 at 6:20 pm
thats not a man cannon. *opens fly* THIS is a man cannon
Posted by SonofMacPhisto on November 21, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Red: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!
Blue: *snicker*
Red: What? Wait… FUCK!
Posted by Whaappened on November 21, 2008 at 7:56 pm
(Said in MikeyMike voice) Sneak Attack!
Posted by Whaappened on November 21, 2008 at 8:01 pm
If You Experience An Erection Or Burning Sensation, Please Call A Doctor Immediately, As This Could Be A Potentially Hilarious Side Effect.
Posted by PsycoJoe on November 21, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Feel the POWER!
Posted by aussie_spartan on November 21, 2008 at 10:50 pm
“It’s all fun and games until someone’s crotch catches fire… then its an exellent screenshot.”
Posted by Dan on November 21, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Red in the Head, Fire in the hole!
Posted by TheRenewedValor on November 22, 2008 at 2:28 am
“All the other guys on the team laughted when they replace Jimmys vasoline with gasoline”
Posted by MK28 on November 22, 2008 at 6:30 am
Damned Asteroid strike to the groin! I ask ya, what are the odds?
I’m serious man, I think that chick from the weekend gave me something.
Insert profanity only AFTER you see your body on the ground. “XXXX!”
And I was like: ‘woah’, and she was like: ‘eurgh’ and I was like: ‘it never used to do that!’
And in other news: A bizarre prank that went wrong saw two Spartans suspended from sentry duty today…
Posted by Araknoros on November 22, 2008 at 7:18 am
click click boom
Posted by MK28 on November 22, 2008 at 7:41 am
Wow, Grif, that’s gonna blow Caboose’s ‘lighting a fart’ trick out the water at the Christmas party!
Posted by humrh360 on November 22, 2008 at 8:09 am
To hell with the flamethrower!
Posted by MattDGiant on November 22, 2008 at 8:09 am
Chief was out of ammo, so he had to utilize the only weapon he had left.
Posted by S-043 on November 22, 2008 at 11:32 am
Shishka:
OKAY, OKAY, you can have recon, just PUT IT AWAY!!!
Posted by Someguy on November 22, 2008 at 11:39 am
So Hawt
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:30 pm
All my lovers are in the burn ward!
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:31 pm
You can tell who has gotten laid by this Red, for they’re all hideously deformed.
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:34 pm
The rest of his pistol-wielding teammates have grown very self conscious.
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:35 pm
ROCKET MAN! Burning out my fuels out here, alone.
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:37 pm
(In Smokey the Bear voice) Only you can prevent penis fires!!!
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:39 pm
No one told me Mentos & Coke had THIS kind of effect!!!
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Smilin’ Bob ain’t smilin’ no more!!!
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Why didn’t I listen to the poster in Health class!!!
Posted by DethPwn on November 22, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Is it hot in here, or is it just ma flamin’ loins?
Posted by Admiral Madden on November 22, 2008 at 2:08 pm
“you can’t controll this much HAPINESS!”
“Only the likes of Hawty can make the Chief fire his hidden side arm prematurely!”
“it’s only three inches… don’t laugh, some girls like it that wide.”
“and you thought Knoxville’s Red Rocket was Big!”
”
Master Chiefs Bucket List:
be cryogenically frozenthreesome with japanese twinsUse my “SECRET” gunEarn Daddy’s Respect
“
Posted by Admiral Madden on November 22, 2008 at 2:13 pm
“man, that guy’s got some Rocket Balls Chasing after some Cheese Knees!”
Posted by Grady on November 22, 2008 at 2:42 pm
“Three full mags, and my swingin’ cod.”
Posted by WolfKing4 on November 22, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Red team only has two words for blue team, and that is “SKEET SKEET”!
Posted by Gnome on November 22, 2008 at 5:24 pm
“Master Chief use to eat matches and drink gasoline. One day he found out that that wasn’t a good idea”
“Master chief has learned to never store Flamethrower fuel in his middle pocket.”
“He prooved that you can duel weild with an Assualt rifle.”
“Allow me to capture your hill”
Posted by RuneOfRed on November 22, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Should I call my doctor now?
Posted by Explar on November 22, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Screw the ManCannon, I have myself a BabyCannon!
Posted by John Killer118 on November 22, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Heavy Weapon
Posted by sleepymarine on November 23, 2008 at 1:15 am
In retrospect corpse-humping an incineration kill is a VERY BAD IDEA…
Posted by Zen 2nd on November 23, 2008 at 6:43 am
“Goodness gracious great balls of fire!”
Posted by Trace on November 23, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Behold, the power of cheese.
Posted by Trace on November 23, 2008 at 9:08 pm
It was when his armor turned red and fire started shooting from his body that Joe decided it was time to find a better-fitting suit that didn’t chafe so much.
Posted by SPARTAN G110 on November 25, 2008 at 9:14 am
“…Whoaooo your sex is on is on fire…”
Kings of Leon
Posted by NS Loco on November 27, 2008 at 6:20 pm
The chief realized that replacing his KY for IcyHot was a bad idea a little too late…
Posted by Whaappened? on November 27, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Ka me ha me HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Bob the Axe on November 28, 2008 at 8:34 am
“Boom headshot!”
“I CAME!”
Chief pulled a houdini