Last night out of sheer boredom I decided to traumatize my MSN messenger friends by passing around a Halo 3 screenshot I had found earlier in the day. At first glance it appears to be nothing but a peaceful picture. However in my eyes a deliciously dirty scene plays out. As I showed the image to one friend in particular to see if he saw the same thing I did, he instead opted to play the one-up game. The beginning of our conversation:
bs angel says:
ok, tell me what you see in this screenshot
bs angel says:
http://www.bungie.net/Online/Halo3UserContentDetails.aspx?h3fileid=55496132
SonofMacPhisto says:
I see the Ark, the middle thing looks a little like an egg… but that’s all I see
bs angel says:
you don’t see anything … oh i don’t know … sexual?
bs angel says:
on the top half?
SonofMacPhisto says:
you mean the spires of the Ark ‘arm’?
bs angel says:
your mind is much too clean for this!
SonofMacPhisto says:
Psh, if you think that… check this out.
SonofMacPhisto says:
You know the cinematic where Miranda gets killed by truth?
bs angel says:
yeah?
SonofMacPhisto says:
Watch her crotch, on her suit, you’ll see an arrow pointing down between her legs.
SonofMacPhisto says:
Swear
SonofMacPhisto says:
to
SonofMacPhisto says:
god
bs angel says:
lol
bs angel says:
no way
SonofMacPhisto says:
It’s as OBVIOUS AS DAY
And thus began our quest to document the arrow pointing to Miranda’s nether regions. Read our banter. See our screencaps. Watch the video for yourself. Witness undeniable proof. If you dare.
In order to find the cutscene that contains “Miranda’s arrow”, SonofMacPhisto linked me to halo.bungie.org’s always resourceful Halo 3 Cutscene Library. Located under “The Covenant: Miranda’s Death” with a variety of download options, the clip itself is a mere 3:28 long. Feel free to skip the following banter and go straight to the images at the end of the article if your curiosity is overly piqued. Otherwise I highly recommend you read through the rest of our conversation. It’s nothing if entertaining.
SonofMacPhisto says:
It’s right after Johnson says ‘Me, then you. NOW!’
SonofMacPhisto says:
Ok, you can just BARELY make it out. But it’s there.
SonofMacPhisto says:
http://halocinema.bungie.org/halo3/49_covenant_mirandasdeath.mov
SonofMacPhisto says:
It’s almost RIGHT AT the halfway point
bs angel says:
downloading!
SonofMacPhisto says:
http://halo3cinema.bungie.org/halo3hd/49_covenant_mirandasdeath_hd.mov
SonofMacPhisto says:
it’s a little larger, and HD
SonofMacPhisto says:
I’ve never mentioned it to anyone else, but it’s there.
bs angel says:
lol
bs angel says:
I WILL TELL THE WORLD
SonofMacPhisto says:
So, Halo… find it?
bs angel says:
halfway through it. now what am i looking for again and when?
SonofMacPhisto says:
Ok, right after Johnson tells her to shoot him
SonofMacPhisto says:
and she points the pistol at him, check out the crotch. You’ll see an arrow… it’s very subtle.
bs angel says:
ok, i think i saw the arrow
bs angel says:
maybe?
bs angel says:
you must have been staring pretty hard to see that!
SonofMacPhisto says:
Dude, not really. It’s there.
bs angel says:
let me rewind and watch that part again
SonofMacPhisto says:
I’m NOT CRAZY! o_O
bs angel says:
oh wait, i totally see it now
bs angel says:
i paused it
SonofMacPhisto says:
Pause FTW
bs angel says:
you’re right! it’s pretty clear.
SonofMacPhisto says:
wft amirite?
bs angel says:
you are totally right.
bs angel says:
so, how in the world have you not discussed this arrow thing with anybody?!
SonofMacPhisto says:
<shrugs>
SonofMacPhisto says:
I don’t view that cutscene very often, often enough to mention it anyway. In game, that is.
SonofMacPhisto says:
And I’m not someone to just post on the forum ‘OMGMIRANDA’S NAUGHTY BITS!’
bs angel says:
well i am. plus, i think i can get a decent screencap!
SonofMacPhisto says:
HA! Awesome
SonofMacPhisto says:
I’m interested to see where this will go… potential hilarity FTW
SonofMacPhisto says:
either that, or Bungie will dispatch ninjas to kill me.
SonofMacPhisto says:
Regardless, I regret nothing.
bs angel says:
LOL
bs angel says:
i sharpened the image
bs angel says:
for arrow purposes only
SonofMacPhisto says:
OMG
bs angel says:
totally looks like a penis, LOL
SonofMacPhisto says:
Some people knock on Miranda…
SonofMacPhisto says:
But if she came on to me, I’d hit that. Absolutely.
SonofMacPhisto says:
Cortana’s not even REAL people! C’mon!
bs angel says:
lol
bs angel says:
i have other people trying to chat
bs angel says:
and i’m all, “BUSY”
bs angel says:
busy looking at miranda’s crotch, try again later!
SonofMacPhisto says:
LOL
SonofMacPhisto says:
‘Busy going Indiana Jones on discovering hidden Halo 3 sex jokes, please call again later’
SonofMacPhisto says:
That sharpening is total OMG
SonofMacPhisto says:
wow
SonofMacPhisto says:
irrefutable proof!
And your irrefutable proof comes in the form of the following images.
Original
Sharpened x 5
Super sweet close up
Watch the video. Inspect the pictures. Recognize the truth. And my job here is done. On both counts as the conversation ended with this:
SonofMacPhisto says:
g’night
SonofMacPhisto says:
WAIT
bs angel says:
huh?
SonofMacPhisto says:
was that screen shot supposed to be a man’s penis between two breasts?!
bs angel says:
YES!!!
SonofMacPhisto says:
I FINALLY GOT IT!!
This was a triumph. I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS!
Posted by Lichtonatus on October 30, 2008 at 3:24 am
You never cease to amaze me :S
I’m not sure if I’m scared, or terrified.
Posted by mendicantbias00 on October 30, 2008 at 3:24 am
You know when you said that pic of the Ark MIGHT end up on Hawty McBloggy…I didn’t think you were serious! LOL ;)
And SoMP I think you made mention of Keyes’ arrow once before…but I just assumed you were talking out of your ass. I was wrong! :D
Posted by Slartibartfarst on October 30, 2008 at 3:27 am
I’m sorry, but that first screenshot just makes me think I’m sitting between the thighs of a HUGE purple woman. Who’s wearing a silver thong.
Posted by WolfKing on October 30, 2008 at 3:37 am
lol i see it
Posted by Handmade Hero on October 30, 2008 at 3:46 am
I instantly saw the penis-boob combo in that shot! :P
Posted by Morlok8k on October 30, 2008 at 3:58 am
for the ark screenshot, i kinda saw the egg as the tip of a dick… entering a hole… i didn’t even think of the purple areas as boobs (no nipples). i did notice though the aforementioned dick between them though.
Posted by Mace Windex on October 30, 2008 at 4:33 am
It’s hard to see, but during the intro cinematic for the level The Storm in Halo 3, all the characters are actually riding side-saddle atop penises.
Posted by Araknoros on October 30, 2008 at 4:41 am
that conversation is so much more meaningful to me because its hilarious and im in the hyper stage before the crash stage from sleep deprevation… i laughed for a while… a long while. the arrow is priceless.
Posted by disco on October 30, 2008 at 6:15 am
NICE! lol
btw, I thought her name was Miranda Tease for about a year.
Posted by soulofaqua on October 30, 2008 at 6:33 am
Why are our conversation not so exciting T_T
Posted by Ragingterror on October 30, 2008 at 6:59 am
……. Suddenly I find myself wanting in on some of these conversations. Hawt.
:P
Posted by Ken Raves on October 30, 2008 at 7:04 am
I’d get MSN just for random crap like this. XP
Posted by DeepCee on October 30, 2008 at 7:17 am
Even after SoMP describing it…I don’t see it.
Posted by DARIU5 on October 30, 2008 at 7:20 am
lolololol
Posted by TheChrisD on October 30, 2008 at 7:57 am
I can haz address? :D
Posted by Eloco on October 30, 2008 at 8:14 am
why on earth would a man put his thingy in between a ladies two thingys?
Less video games BS and more sex 4 joo, that way I can beat you to 20k achievement points too ;)
Posted by Kato on October 30, 2008 at 8:32 am
Well, clearly that’s the USNC chevron for “Private” so it makes sense….
Posted by Kato on October 30, 2008 at 8:34 am
(excuse me, “UNSC”, not “USNC”)
Posted by Das Kalk on October 30, 2008 at 10:29 am
@ kato hahahahahahaha awesomsauce
Angel, you gotta do one of these more often, that was hilarious! and the chirs D, her address is hawtymcbloggy@hotmail.com (also available on the contact page)
she’s not always there because she’s obviously a busy lady, but from my experiences she’s super nice and sometime funny. But only sometimes…
Posted by the Light Show on October 30, 2008 at 11:27 am
geez, too many words, not enough pictures!! i need a pop-up book to counteract the over-wordy side effects… now my brain hurts. damnit! im drooling again, thanx angel. now give me a napkin! must. get. more. stupider. there, that helped…
Posted by the Light Show on October 30, 2008 at 11:33 am
oh yeah, arrow @ vag = coolness. wicket sweet find! now i need another napkin… or two ;-)
Posted by Calves on October 30, 2008 at 12:50 pm
And is that an exclamation point right above the arrow?
Posted by rowboat 000 on October 30, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Not to be a killjoy, but i really don’t see. The first pic is a stretch and the second I have to force myself to make up a non-existent arrow.
Posted by Jillybean on October 30, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I’m feeling slightly too clean – for the first time in my life!
Posted by elpolloguapo on October 30, 2008 at 3:27 pm
SoMP, you definitely pointed that arrow out to myself and SgtSatin when we co-oped the whole game through a while ago.
Posted by Matoro3311 on October 30, 2008 at 3:55 pm
XD I was there staring at the screenshot for ages , then I skipped ahead… Again, XD
The arrow? I saw it straight away. :P
~Matoro3311
Posted by Rhamsey on October 30, 2008 at 5:38 pm
win for portal reference, and for being so perverted.
Posted by Chi on October 30, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Oh my god.
This is the funniest thing ever.
I went back to my own msn logs after reading this and have realized one thing: Msn conversations never accomplish anything but mayhem. LOL
Posted by bs angel on October 31, 2008 at 2:11 am
I agree Chi, especially the late night ones. Those are nothing but trouble! At least it’s fun trouble though. :)
Posted by SonofMacPhisto on October 31, 2008 at 12:26 pm
bs – That’s the best kind, of course.
Posted by Mayhem and Debauchery « Post War on October 31, 2008 at 6:49 pm
[...] Mayhem and Debauchery http://hawtymcbloggy.com/2008/10/30/follow-the-arrow/ [...]
Posted by AusQB on December 15, 2008 at 10:59 pm
“To see the world through bs angel’s eyes…”
Posted by ablestmage on January 13, 2009 at 4:07 am
I saw a huge space butt dropping an egg-shaped load into the halo toilet.
Posted by HarbiDarbi on January 13, 2009 at 11:54 am
not sure if anyone else caught it but it could be her landing strip showing through some really tight pants