Extremely Visible Apparatuses

On my frequent travels across the limitless land of the internet, I have found a plethora of custom Halo 3 female Spartan figures. From midriff-baring to face-baring to ass-baring and beyond, if you have a thing for the Nicole-458s of the fictional Halo world, there’s sure to be an action figure that suits your unique taste. Let me tell you though, it’s not going to be this particular one.

custom female spartan figure

Purchase here : cannibalized_action_figure’s eBay Store
Current bid : US $31.01
Auction ends : Nov-02-08 18:00:00 PST

This custom Halo 3 figure, dubbed the “Sexy Female Pinup Model”, stands a scant six inches tall and boasts 16 points of articulation. Apparently her name is Alishia and she is the newest model for the nonexistent UNSC’s pinup calendar. After meticulously studying multiple pictures of this rather unattractive Spartan, I can’t for the life of me figure out how her barely there chest piece stays up. That’s gotta be some seriously strong double-sided tape. While I admit her ass is perhaps worth an ogle or two, her helmet just ruins it for me. I’m embarrassed to say I have been proudly sporting E.V.A. for the last several months, but I will not be caught dead (or alive) in it after seeing this figure. Why didn’t you people tell me it looks so fucking appalling?! Hit the jump to see a few more disturbing pictures and then don’t talk to me. I’m mad at all of you for letting me look completely and utterly ridiculous for this long. Jerks.

custom female spartan figure

custom female spartan figure

39 Responses to Extremely Visible Apparatuses

  1. oh noes! looks like you’ll have to find a new set of armor to fall in love with :(
    you could borrow my smelly old set of EOD if you’d like ;)

  2. Aw, we’re sorry… It was good until this came along…
    *coughWearScoutIt’sTheCoolThingToDocough* *sniffle*

    Unrelated note, what’s up with HBO? :/

  3. aw crap HBO got hacked again!! :O

  4. Das Kalk says:

    I seriously doubt that that armor provides adequate protection…

    • kenta says:

      it provides all the necessary protections… boobs, ass, and vag :)

  5. mendicantbias00 says:

    *facepalm*

    Please tell me why a sniper in a prone position would cross their legs like that!

    And why is this “spartan” wielding a Brute-Stick like a club???

    • mountain troop 22nd B says:

      looks like thats not a sniper, a dancer the pole fell down

  6. Crunchbite says:

    magnetically held…

  7. CzarCastic says:

    How many times have I tried to tell you how ridiculous the EVA helmet looked? You can’t blame me for allowing you to run around looking like that.

  8. Mizzy says:

    @ mendicantbias

    Me thinks the creator doth not play Halo.

  9. PsycheDiver says:

    Cool figures. Could be hotter.

  10. Greatbob says:

    It also looks like she is using her chest piece to hold herself up in the prone position.

    Must be the shielding on the MJOLNIR holding her up.

  11. AT-AT says:

    Cannibalized is definitely the word. It looks like the base model is a barbie with the head, arms, and most of the legs cut right off. But that’s nothing. What’s sad is the Spartan figure that got chopped up.

  12. Tortacular says:

    I tried to tell you.

  13. Once you go Sangheili you’ll never go back. 8)

  14. Jim 028 says:

    Sorry angel, but you made that armour look good ;)

  15. VelocityTino says:

    @radiant penguin

    No kidding. I know some girls (not gonna name names or anything) that think the Arbiter is hot.

  16. vshields ash says:

    i like the idea. i like wondering how she keeps her,er,bra up.
    tanx Hawty :)

    ash

  17. bs angel says:

    Jim, you are so good at getting points. You can add another ten to your already large stockpile!

  18. daredizzle says:

    Maybe her chest piece doubles as a breast pump and that’s why it just hangs out there

  19. Dust and Echoes says:

    I’m not going to comment on this, as I’ll be labeled either way.

  20. Matoro3311 says:

    God….That’s what they hire as models? The already good-looking bs angel could whup that whore’s a**.

    Also per Jim.

    ~Matoro3311

  21. Rayg says:

    God, what a piece of shit figure. That’s just badly made.

  22. If you’re wondering how the chest piece stays up, just find out how Janet Jackson kept up that nipple thingee at the Super Bowl.

    amirite?!

  23. @ash

    YAY! You found our little corner of the internet! :D

  24. DethPwn says:

    any of you ppl who like that r plastic pervs. That’d be a cool (yet sick and creepy) to have her and a McFarlane Chief figure in erotic poses. (shudders)

  25. SonofMacPhisto says:

    @ Deth

    ARE YOU MAD? DON’T GIVE BS ANY IDEAS! I mean sure, it looks like crap… but you never know with bs… :lol:

  26. Ragingterror says:

    *gags*

  27. bs angel says:

    That’d be a cool (yet sick and creepy) to have her and a McFarlane Chief figure in erotic poses.

    Interesting idea, … hhhmmm …

  28. Das Kalk says:

    oh god, she’s thinking about it!!! RUUUUUN!!!!!

  29. BSG Daffy says:

    I bet she could make Master Chief be a “scant six inches tall,” if you know what I mean.

    • DethPwn says:

      OMG I’M PRETTY SURE THAT WAS MY FIRST COMMENT! Notice the terrible spelling/grammer? Aah, good times.

  30. Faren22 says:

    I love how she holds the spike grenade as a club. Generally you want to be AWAY from the explosive when it sticks to someone.
    @velocitytino: That’s TERRIFYING. I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing that they exist…

  31. Tombo says:

    to be honest id buy that
    i like big breasts, and thats mildly arousing if u dont look at the head

  32. Trixie says:

    Speaking for girl-gamers everywhere….

    *gag*

    Trixie

  33. Matoro3311 says:

    Quoting Trixie:

    gags

    ~Matoro3311

  34. Pingback: Meowster Chief « Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

  35. Nubby says:

    How many people are actually have a thing for Nicole-458?

  36. Urn the Reaper says:

    Very nicely done, must have taken alot of time to put that together, and the paint job is simply beautiful, i dont see why everyone is complaining about the accuracy regarding the halo series, im a huge fan of halo and prefer that customizers don’t follow the limits halo is given, that makes it creative and interesting

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