The Viva Piñata Chronicles, Part One

Once upon a time there was a vibrantly green and luscious garden. The overly attentive caretaker, who was known for being more than a little eccentric, attempted to maintain a peaceful environment for the numerous piñatas who called this garden home. Sometimes she was successful; often times she was not. Welcome to The Viva Piñata Chronicles, the rather unique tale from bs angel’s garden where you are her piñatas.

As the sun tentatively peeked over the horizon, Stuicide the Bunnycomb was gently awakened by the welcome stroke of warmth on his blue and furry back. It was welcome because he wasn’t getting stroked any other way. You see, this Bunnycomb was known for his rather friendly ways with the opposite sex so he was kept in a fenced off area separate from the other piñatas. His existence was a happy one though as he was fulfilled in other ways. His caretaker made sure he always had a nice pile of carrots to nibble on and occasionally Leafos, the helpful young lady often found wandering aimlessly around the garden, would open the gate and enter his pen to keep him company. Little did he know that kind gesture would eventually be his demise.

One morning the garden was unusually busy with a Sour Profitamole who refused to leave the premises. Spitting sour candy and ripping through the ground leaving a trail of poisonous destruction, Handmade Hero the Pretztail decided to investigate the mysterious piles of dirt left behind by this problematic creature. Being the brilliant Pretztail that he was, investigating the dirt wasn’t enough so he decided to take a large bite of it as well. The astringent remains quickly made him ill and he went belly up with the worst stomachache of his life. Tied up with attempting to teach ALTEX the Mousemallow a trick (while you typically just have to tap a piñata with the trick stick once, ALTEX had to be beaten with it approximately six times before learning it), his caretaker didn’t realize Handmade Hero was ill until it was almost too late. In a fit of desperation, she quickly called the doctor who arrived and healed him in record time, after which she lectured the absent-minded Pretztail about the dangers of eating piles of dirt that closely resemble shit.

Not all the piñatas were getting into trouble though. DeepCee and alakai, the resident Bispottis, were busy happily eating every flower in the garden they could get their little mouths on. From daisies and bluebells to buttercups and poppies, their tummies were full and their hearts were content. The resident Whirlms had large appetites as well, but it wasn’t for flowers. With amour on their mind, Wyrmscope 4, cd00, and Tristan performed the romance dance six different times over the span of a single day. At one point they attempted a ménage à trois but couldn’t quite make it worth with the body part limitations. It didn’t stop them from trying several times over though. Between the three of them, they made so many babies that the extra ones had to be adopted out to other gardens. Hopefully next time they will at least do the deed in the privacy of their own home as Eloco the Taffly spent a little too much time watching them get it on. A few times he even got so excited with his voyeuristic observing that he released a large pile of fertilizer. Let’s just say the grass really is greener on the other side now.

While the Whirlms were romancing, Sniperfive40 and Rhamsey (two rather adventurous Sparrowmints) were busy partying it up. While they each attended numerous functions, Sniperfive40 had the pleasure of traveling to a special event in the distant land of France. He came back with grandiose tales of how the native piñatas in that country often wander around topless, in which Rhamsey insisted on going to the next one and not coming back. Senor Leche, the feistier one of two Lickatoads, overheard the topless tales as well and decided to hold out for one of those piñatas. The other Lickatoad, Nid, tried to get his attention but all the efforts were in vain as Senor Leche refused to even wake up. The snoring continued, as did the fruitless attempts.

With all of the activity in the garden, the caretaker was thoroughly distracted when Leafos entered Stuicide’s pen for her daily visit. Seeing his chance for escape, Stuicide hurriedly dashed past the gate and straight into the awaiting mouth of My7hos, a hungry and ruthless Squazzil. Stuicide enjoyed mere seconds of precious freedom before the harsh realities of the garden set in. And thus the sweet piñatas learned about the omnipresent circle of life, which was existent even in their remote candy-filled corner of the world.

*If you signed up but weren’t introduced in this first episode, fret not. It will take a while to work everybody in the mix but I can guarantee you will have your turn. I just don’t guarantee that you will like it. Muhahahahaha ….