Once upon a time there was a vibrantly green and luscious garden. The overly attentive caretaker, who was known for being more than a little eccentric, attempted to maintain a peaceful environment for the numerous piñatas who called this garden home. Sometimes she was successful; often times she was not. Welcome to The Viva Piñata Chronicles, the rather unique tale from bs angel’s garden where you are her piñatas.
As the sun tentatively peeked over the horizon, Stuicide the Bunnycomb was gently awakened by the welcome stroke of warmth on his blue and furry back. It was welcome because he wasn’t getting stroked any other way. You see, this Bunnycomb was known for his rather friendly ways with the opposite sex so he was kept in a fenced off area separate from the other piñatas. His existence was a happy one though as he was fulfilled in other ways. His caretaker made sure he always had a nice pile of carrots to nibble on and occasionally Leafos, the helpful young lady often found wandering aimlessly around the garden, would open the gate and enter his pen to keep him company. Little did he know that kind gesture would eventually be his demise.
One morning the garden was unusually busy with a Sour Profitamole who refused to leave the premises. Spitting sour candy and ripping through the ground leaving a trail of poisonous destruction, Handmade Hero the Pretztail decided to investigate the mysterious piles of dirt left behind by this problematic creature. Being the brilliant Pretztail that he was, investigating the dirt wasn’t enough so he decided to take a large bite of it as well. The astringent remains quickly made him ill and he went belly up with the worst stomachache of his life. Tied up with attempting to teach ALTEX the Mousemallow a trick (while you typically just have to tap a piñata with the trick stick once, ALTEX had to be beaten with it approximately six times before learning it), his caretaker didn’t realize Handmade Hero was ill until it was almost too late. In a fit of desperation, she quickly called the doctor who arrived and healed him in record time, after which she lectured the absent-minded Pretztail about the dangers of eating piles of dirt that closely resemble shit.
Not all the piñatas were getting into trouble though. DeepCee and alakai, the resident Bispottis, were busy happily eating every flower in the garden they could get their little mouths on. From daisies and bluebells to buttercups and poppies, their tummies were full and their hearts were content. The resident Whirlms had large appetites as well, but it wasn’t for flowers. With amour on their mind, Wyrmscope 4, cd00, and Tristan performed the romance dance six different times over the span of a single day. At one point they attempted a ménage à trois but couldn’t quite make it worth with the body part limitations. It didn’t stop them from trying several times over though. Between the three of them, they made so many babies that the extra ones had to be adopted out to other gardens. Hopefully next time they will at least do the deed in the privacy of their own home as Eloco the Taffly spent a little too much time watching them get it on. A few times he even got so excited with his voyeuristic observing that he released a large pile of fertilizer. Let’s just say the grass really is greener on the other side now.
While the Whirlms were romancing, Sniperfive40 and Rhamsey (two rather adventurous Sparrowmints) were busy partying it up. While they each attended numerous functions, Sniperfive40 had the pleasure of traveling to a special event in the distant land of France. He came back with grandiose tales of how the native piñatas in that country often wander around topless, in which Rhamsey insisted on going to the next one and not coming back. Senor Leche, the feistier one of two Lickatoads, overheard the topless tales as well and decided to hold out for one of those piñatas. The other Lickatoad, Nid, tried to get his attention but all the efforts were in vain as Senor Leche refused to even wake up. The snoring continued, as did the fruitless attempts.
With all of the activity in the garden, the caretaker was thoroughly distracted when Leafos entered Stuicide’s pen for her daily visit. Seeing his chance for escape, Stuicide hurriedly dashed past the gate and straight into the awaiting mouth of My7hos, a hungry and ruthless Squazzil. Stuicide enjoyed mere seconds of precious freedom before the harsh realities of the garden set in. And thus the sweet piñatas learned about the omnipresent circle of life, which was existent even in their remote candy-filled corner of the world.
*If you signed up but weren’t introduced in this first episode, fret not. It will take a while to work everybody in the mix but I can guarantee you will have your turn. I just don’t guarantee that you will like it. Muhahahahaha ….
Posted by My7hos on October 18, 2008 at 4:05 am
I ate Stuicide? Heheheheheheh. :D
Posted by snotwoogle on October 18, 2008 at 4:21 am
LOL. viva pinata…
Posted by Handmade Hero on October 18, 2008 at 4:26 am
Fantastic, I almost died due to eating a poisonous shit like dirt
*Achievement Unlocked*
I promise I’ll never do it again :)
Posted by DeepCee on October 18, 2008 at 4:28 am
lolz @ Handmade Hero :D
Posted by Tristan on October 18, 2008 at 6:05 am
I tried a ménage à trois! Nice XD
Posted by Snatch on October 18, 2008 at 6:16 am
If I where a Pinata, you can bet your ASS that I wouldnt be wearing any pants!
Posted by Matoro3311 on October 18, 2008 at 7:01 am
XD
~Matoro3311
Posted by Das Kalk on October 18, 2008 at 7:13 am
this rocks, can’t wait for mine!
Posted by Nid on October 18, 2008 at 7:22 am
Lolz. Lickatoad.
Posted by Matoro3311 on October 18, 2008 at 8:46 am
…? Register? Where? Linky, please. :P
~Matoro3311
Posted by WolfKing on October 18, 2008 at 8:52 am
can i be in?
Posted by Eloco on October 18, 2008 at 8:58 am
glad i keep porno music on my ipod!
Posted by Crazyeye0 on October 18, 2008 at 9:10 am
Aw, I wish I signed up for this, I didn’t see it =(
Posted by Ken Raves on October 18, 2008 at 9:24 am
She did give a link.
I made a comment on the old post just now, I wanna be parodied with adorable HD pinatas!
Posted by Ragingterror on October 18, 2008 at 9:44 am
Bahahawhahahahahaha… Good stuff, Angel.
Posted by Rhamsey on October 18, 2008 at 10:55 am
LMAO, im in france with hot naked pinatas… OSSUM!!
i was afraid i would get eaten by a buzzenge, but this is so much sweeter.
(i didnt know pinatas in the second game sometimes didnt come back though)
Posted by bs angel on October 18, 2008 at 11:13 am
Sign ups are always open for this. If you missed it the first go around, hit the original post and leave a comment. There’s plenty of room for everybody in my garden. :)
Posted by davyboy94 on October 18, 2008 at 12:36 pm
you should amkes pinatas of all the guys off the forum including me!
Posted by Queen 0f Blades on October 18, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Hah, cute. And mildly disturbing. But, that’s the best kind of cute. At least for me. ¬¬
Posted by PinkBulletz14 on October 18, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Hilarious Angel, I can’t wait for Episode 2!!!
Posted by SonofMacPhisto on October 18, 2008 at 4:07 pm
This is going to be a GOLD MINE for trashtalk/gibberjabber on LIVE.
‘THIS FOR WHAT YOU DID IN VIVA PINATA! I’ll never feel the same AGAIN!’
Posted by Stuicide on October 18, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Heyyyy this is not cool.
Posted by Mondo Titan on October 18, 2008 at 7:36 pm
hahah, you knew what you were getting into Stu.. and this is exactly why i didnt sign up. i’ve got the most bass ackwards luck on the planet. but i cant wait to see who eats/has a sexy time with/gets sick with who next. :]
Posted by cd00 on October 18, 2008 at 9:08 pm
makin friends and makin babies…
what more could a pinata ask for?
Posted by SonofMacPhisto on October 18, 2008 at 9:11 pm
@ cd00 – more Jack?
Posted by Ragingterror on October 19, 2008 at 6:03 am
There’s plenty of room for everybody in my garden.
That’s… WHAT SHE SAID. :D
Posted by ALTEX on October 19, 2008 at 2:11 pm
my inabilty to learn a trick nearly resulted in a death? awesome.
Posted by radiant penguin on October 19, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Ha ha! I love it! But how did I miss the sign up for this? I have got to infiltrate that garden somehow.
Posted by Trixie on October 20, 2008 at 10:55 am
Hi!
FYI- I named a Doenut after you and called it “Angel”. :) Happy Gardening!
Trixie
Posted by alakai on October 20, 2008 at 11:00 am
Mmm…. buttercups. nom nom nom
Posted by jezza0607 on April 19, 2009 at 8:03 am
wyrmscope 4? Is that how many times my pinata has died?