Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

Pick-up lines, defined as “a conversation opener with the intent of engaging an unfamiliar person for sex, romance, or dating”, come in many different forms. Most are humorously witty, some are over the top cheesy, and others are flat out offensive but the goal is always the same, to open the door to getting to know someone better. My addiction to Halo-themed pick-up lines is already well established between the original ten I drafted 14 months ago and ten more that followed nine months later. As Halo 3 is still going strong, I thought it was time for some more original pick-up lines centered around our favorite first-person shooter. Will they actually work on the virtual battlefield though? There’s only one way to find out!

Yet Another Top Ten Halo Pick-Up Lines

Regardless of which armor permutation you wear, I can’t stop getting lost in your eyes.
This line will surely make your favorite female Spartan feel beautiful regardless of what armor she is wearing. Whether she’s sporting Mark VI, Hayabusa, or Security, she’s bound to feel flattered by your sweet words. Unless she remembers the visors are reflective. Then you’re just screwed.

Would you like to help me test my newest version of Oddball? I supply the balls and there’s a special multiplier if you hold ‘em in your mouth.
People are always coming up with crazy twists on the standard gametypes and Oddball is no exception to that. If the person you are using the line on looks a bit put off about the mouth comment, you can always change it up. Two on the chin works just as well.

Let’s go back to the bunker and I’ll show you how a real Spartan uses his long barrel.
Ladies are often quite impressed by superior sniping skills but it’s important to remember it’s not just the size of the barrel that matters but also how well you wield it. Don’t be afraid to let her know you can score a headshot in the bedroom just as easily as you can on the battlefield.

Any chance I could penetrate your base? I need somewhere to put my flag.
Since the ultimate goal of this line is to find somewhere to put your flag, you should recognize you are being a bit selfish. Giving her the choice of having her base penetrated from the front or from behind should help with that, you generous person you. Now go play hide the flag.

When I’m charging my laser, just one thought of you and it instantly fires.
I’MMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER WHILE I’MMA THINKIN OF YOU. Hawt.

Wanna pretend to be the Covenant? We can scream incoherently and get each other sticky all night long.*
This is one of those lines that has the potential to get you slapped. Make sure the person you are using it on understands the basics of the Halo story to reduce those chances. If you can find one that likes to get down and dirty, that helps even more.

I threw a power drain at you to make you go down quicker. I’m ready with an overshield so I can last longer just in case it works.
Victory often goes to the team that effectively controls the power weapons along with the power-ups. Scoring in the bedroom is no different. You may be able to secure the win but how fun is it if it only lasts a matter of seconds? Make sure she knows you not only have the skills but also the endurance to go that extra mile.

My flag pole could use a good polishing. Would you be up for the job?
While flags are often kept inside a base where they are protected from the elements, they have to travel through grass, dirt, and sometimes even water in order to be scored. Clearly they get dirty in the entire process so it makes sense they would need to be routinely cleaned. Any girl should be happy to do her part in keeping your flag pole in tip top condition.

Come back to my base with me and I’ll make your legs shake harder than a downed Scarab.
As I just played this level several times this weekend in order to get the IWHBYD Skull, I can tell you those Scarabs shake violently when you are in the process of bringing them down. The thought of having a similar experience should be enough to make any Halo fanatic hot and bothered.

I have a theory that if you arm both bombs at the same time, they will explode simultaneously. Care to experiment with me?
It just doesn’t get much better than mutually arming each other’s bombs. Elusively rare but doubly satisfying, this one is worth the extra effort. Now get to it.

*Inspired by -S-.