Hot and Fresh Out the Kitchen
September 30, 2008 26 Comments
It’s no secret that I find some weird shit on my travels across the vast world of the internet. From Master Chief My Little Ponies to Halo-themed lamps to donut holes in the shape of a Mark VI helmet, if it’s somewhat strange and Halo related, I am going to stumble upon it. My latest rather unique find comes in the form of a cheeky t-shirt. Despite the fact that I am unable to connect what is going on in the shirt to an actual part in the Halo story line, I still think it’s beyond hilarious. Accompanying text that reads “Do you smell asparagus?” is an image of Master Chief wearing only his helmet, caught in the middle of releasing a long stream of fluorescent yellow urine. As someone that enjoys asparagus on a regular basis, my most favorite thing about consuming that healthy green vegetable is the wonderfully fragrant pee you get approximately 30 minutes after eating it. No matter how many times you’ve had it before, you always manage to forget how your urine is going to smell until you actually start emptying your bladder. Then the unmistakable scent overwhelms your nostrils and you find yourself briefly thinking, “What the hell is that?” before smiling and remembering that you did in fact recently ingest everybody’s favorite herbaceous perennial plant. Come on people, it’s the little things in life. Now go eat some asparagus already. Just don’t pull an R. Kelly afterwards.
Uhh…When would the chief have time to eat asparagus? o_O
Also, I wonder if the Chief has ever had to “go” with Cortana still in his head…that might be kind of awkward, don’t you think?
Ugh, asparagus… Hate the stuff…
Actually, that scene can be found in a video on newgrounds.com. Go search “Halo Men”
I will most definitely not pee o a 16 year old girl in a hotel room while on camera. As for the shirt, it was worth a chuckle.
Hilarious pic.
And to me just as funny, due to my tired eyes I read part of the blog as;
‘ As someone that enjoys fluorescent yellow urine.’
I took a double take then realised I got the sentences mixed up.
Wow, an article about pee smell. How graceful.
Dunno whut to say o_O
Ahh yes… asparagus. It truly is the simple things :)
Uhhhh huh.
Hmmmmmm,
Sometimes I worry about you angel…….
@ CrazedOne1988
Only sometimes? XD
Jeez.
One of my more popular pieces, eh? :)
This has got nuthin on Blue Balls
@ angel
lol
Ha… funny stuff.
But everyone knows MC eats raw porterhouse steaks, wrapped in chocolate bars, and dipped in kerosene. Just like Chuck Norris!
Geez I haven’t eaten ASSparagus in a while,… good times good times
butter + asparagus= nirvana!
I think this is one of my favorite posts so far. The R Kelly ref was fantastic.
I less than three asparagus!1!
I apologize in advance:
I say, rollin’ around,
sittin’ on dubs
cat like eye, was high on shrubs,
Coolin’ in my Escalade,
Man I’m paid, I got it made,
Take me to your special place,
Close your eyes show me your face,
I’m gonna piss on it.
(Chorus)
Haters gotta hate,
Lovers wanna love,
I don’t even want,
None of the above,
I want to piss on you.
Yes I do, I’ll piss on you,
I pee on you.
I said yo body, yo body,
Is a portapotty,
And I pee out kit(?),
And I pee on you,
Drip, drip, drip,
Pee on you,
Piss on you, piss on you,
You won’t feel quite the same,
Once you get a whiff of my Hershey stains,
I wanna piss on you, too,
I want to pee in yo food,
Only thing that make my life complete,
Is when I turn yo face into a toliet seat,
I want to pee on you,
Yes I do, pee on you,
I’ll piss on you
(Chorus)
Haters gotta hate,
Lovers wanna love,
I don’t even want,
None of the above,
I want to piss on you.
Yes I do, I’ll piss on you,
I pee on you.
Won’t you braid my hair,
Before you start, Im gonna fart,
I wanna fart on you
I hated that vid in the first place, no way I’d ever buy this shirt.
DAVE CHAPPELE FTW!
“The Brutes have our scent.” “Then they must love the smell of green.”.
More like:
“Come, let us go. The Brutes have our scent.”
“Then they must love the smell of asparagus.”.
My sniffer is pretty darn good and I’ve NEVER smelled the lovely veggie … much get some and try this… okay, I need to get a life if I’m not kidding about trying that! But next time I’ll be sniffing!