Don’t Say These Things in Another Country Either

The last time I visited the always entertaining BlahblahFish, a website that translates your phrases from English to another language and then back again to see “what’s lost (or gained) in translation”, I had some mindless fun with my original set of Halo-themed pick-up lines. My second batch of Halo pick-up lines have been begging for their turn through the ringer so I finally decided to appease them. You couldn’t score using the original ten lines in English or any other language; will the second set prove more fruitful? Don’t hold your breath.

Original : Can we go into theater mode? I want to capture a screenshot of the first time I laid eyes on you.
Korean : 우리는 극장 형태로 들어가서 좋은가? 나는 나가 당신에 눈을 놓을 첫번째로 screenshot를의 붙잡고 싶다.
Retranslated : We enter with a theater form and I seize screenshot with the first time where I will put the eye in you.
Conclusion : Only two pick-up lines on this entire list were actually somewhat clean and this was one of them. Until the Koreans got a hold of it and had to reference the ol’ one eye that is.

Original : Wanna Forge? I’ll make it so juicy for you that we won’t even need any Filters.
Czech : Chcete se Forge? I’ll je tak šťavnaté pro vás, že nebudeme potřebovat ani žádné filtry.
Retranslated : Wanna Head? I’ll make one’s way in the world thereabouts juicy up you that we won’t even want whatsoever Filter.
Conclusion : Apparently the Czechs don’t beat around the bush (figuratively and literally) but instead go straight for the mouth. Sounds like they’re messy too. You should probably take some extra napkins.

Original : I’m holding down my right bumper to board you. Is it working yet?
Slovenian : I’m sodna odloèba niz svoj pravilen vrè v tabla vi. je to ki dela odprtina?
Retranslated : I’m holding web your well-conducted urn within board you. there is this working venthole?
Conclusion : I can’t imagine any female reacting well when her nether regions are referred to as a “venthole”. Let’s just say the possibility of frog blasting her vent core just dropped significantly.

Original : We must be playing SWAT because every time I look at you, I have the urge to go for a headshot.
Portuguese : Nós devemos jogar o GOLPE porque cada vez que eu o olho, eu tenho o impuso ir para um headshot.
Retranslated : We must play the BLOW because each time that I it eye, I have the urge to go for one headshot.
Conclusion : I happen to think that SWAT completely blows. Apparently the Portuguese agree with me. That or they have a bit of an oral fixation. I’m ok with either.

Original : Care to drive around on the mongoose? That way I can ride you from behind.
Russian : Tutela urgeo inter in mongoose? Ut via EGO can veho vos tergo.
Retranslated : Protection to drive among upon mongoose? When road I can to sail you to wipe.
Conclusion : Getting it from behind has never sounded more unappealing with the mention that you will need to wipe in the following sentence. I think I’ll pass on that one, thanks.

Original : Your hill appears to be unoccupied. Mind if I start accruing some time in it?
Russian : Кажется, что будет ваш холм unoccupied. Запомните если я начинаю увеличивать некоторое время в ем?
Retranslated : It seems that there will be your hill of unoccupied. Will memorize if I I do begin to increase a certain time in I do eat?
Conclusion : When I thought of that pick-up line, I had penetration in mind. However their idea works just as well. Perhaps even better.

Original : Let’s play pretend. I’ll be a trip mine, you can get on me and we will both explode.
Romanian : Let’s joc drãguþ. I’ll a fi un trepied al meu , tu poþi a lua on eu ºi noi voinþã a voi ambele exploda.
Retranslated : Let’s game nice. I’ll be an tripod of my, you can get on me and we will want both explode.
Conclusion : Male Romanians refer to themselves as tripods? Excuse me while I go purchase a one way ticket.

Original : You may think you love Avalanche, but you haven’t experienced a real mancannon until you have ridden mine.
Slovenian : smeš pretehtati vi ljubezen plaz , šele vi pristanišèe preizkušen resnièen užitek mancannon do vi življati znabitev rudnik.
Retranslated : you may weight you preference mountain-slide , till then you wharf well tried a real jam mancannon up to you have riddance mine.
Conclusion : Apparently Slovenians aren’t the most gentle group in the bunch. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing mind you.

Original : You must be a teleporter because I just want to go in and out of you all night long.
Welsh : ‘ch must bod a teleporter achos Fi jyst angen at cer i mewn a oddi ‘ch pawb nos ddyhea.
Retranslated : dogs ognise be I go teleporter because I just need to go in I go from dogs everyone night I pant.
Conclusion : What the fuck? I hope the Welsh are referring to their favorite position rather than the alternative. Plenty of people may get on their hands and knees but not many will bark.

Original : Forget about the flag. My current objective is capturing your heart.
Danish : Lade ligge omkring den hoved. Mig indeværende saglig er fanger jeres hjerte.
Retranslated : Pass over round the brain. Me current matter-of-fact is capturing yours heart.
Conclusion : If you weren’t sure where intelligence rated on the importance scale, at least you know now. I’m just impressed they still mentioned the heart. I would have guessed they would have gone for the bewbs.