Hot Spartan Pr0n
July 29, 2008 58 Comments
*This article is intended for a mature audience and contains numerous sexual references. If you are underage, please refrain from reading this so you may maintain your blissful innocence. If you are an adult but offend easily, I recommend you learn to not get offended so easily. Enjoy.
“You can’t judge a book by its cover” is a popular idiom meaning things are not always how they appear. Take the following Halo 3 screenshots for example. By first glance they all seem to be arousing examples of hot Spartan porn, but that really couldn’t be further from the truth. Gather your own conclusions from each picture and then find out what’s really going on. You just may be surprised.
What it looks like: Miranda “Deepthroat” Keys shows off how she got her wildly popular college nickname.
What’s really going on: She’s attempting to figure out where the hell that third red arm is coming from.
What it looks like: Two Hayabusa soldiers make sweet, sweet samurai love.
What’s really going on: They’re carefully inspecting every last inch of the wall, hoping to find an undiscovered easter egg hidden within the secret message.
What it looks like: Red desperately tries to conjure up nude images of Bea Arthur in order to stave off the impending money shot.
What’s really going on: His arms grew tired from trying to resuscitate Blue so he decided to perform CPR with his ass instead.
What it looks like: Someone’s about to get the rim job of his life.
What’s really going on: Red unfortunately took an entire needler clip in the back so Blue agreed to meticulously remove every last pink projectile.
What is looks like: Gold grows increasingly frustrated as he finally realizes that Covenant G-spots are nowhere near the same place as human’s.
What’s really going on: Gold performs his very first French wax on a paying customer, diligently attempting to get the straightest landing strip possible.
What it looks like: With a coy smile Master Chief says, “I would like to gain access to your base. Shall I enter from the front or the rear?”. You can guess what her answer was.
What’s really going on: With the football championship coming up, Chief needed some extra practice on receiving the snap so Miranda readily complied.
What it looks like: Undeterred by the lack of hornets and banshees, one inventive couple tries a new way to join the prestigious Mile High Club.
What’s really going on: Pink refuses to let go of the mongoose as the ‘Maybe Next Time Buddy’ achievement was the last one she needed to get her katana.
What it looks like: White’s ongoing battle with necrophilia continues to grow worse with each game he plays.
What’s really going on: White team agreed to take periodic massage breaks in between battles in an effort to get reenergized.
What it looks like: Nine out of ten blue guys agree that a blow job is the best way to start every game.
What’s really going on: Blue consoles the guy that got stuck with the one person who disagreed with that statement.
What it looks like: Red got sick of Blue not believing him, so he decided to prove once and for all that his cod piece really was removable.
What’s really going on: You don’t want to know.