*This article is intended for a mature audience and contains numerous sexual references. If you are underage, please refrain from reading this so you may maintain your blissful innocence. If you are an adult but offend easily, I recommend you learn to not get offended so easily. Enjoy.
“You can’t judge a book by its cover” is a popular idiom meaning things are not always how they appear. Take the following Halo 3 screenshots for example. By first glance they all seem to be arousing examples of hot Spartan porn, but that really couldn’t be further from the truth. Gather your own conclusions from each picture and then find out what’s really going on. You just may be surprised.
What it looks like: Miranda “Deepthroat” Keys shows off how she got her wildly popular college nickname.
What’s really going on: She’s attempting to figure out where the hell that third red arm is coming from.
What it looks like: Two Hayabusa soldiers make sweet, sweet samurai love.
What’s really going on: They’re carefully inspecting every last inch of the wall, hoping to find an undiscovered easter egg hidden within the secret message.
What it looks like: Red desperately tries to conjure up nude images of Bea Arthur in order to stave off the impending money shot.
What’s really going on: His arms grew tired from trying to resuscitate Blue so he decided to perform CPR with his ass instead.
What it looks like: Someone’s about to get the rim job of his life.
What’s really going on: Red unfortunately took an entire needler clip in the back so Blue agreed to meticulously remove every last pink projectile.
What is looks like: Gold grows increasingly frustrated as he finally realizes that Covenant G-spots are nowhere near the same place as human’s.
What’s really going on: Gold performs his very first French wax on a paying customer, diligently attempting to get the straightest landing strip possible.
What it looks like: With a coy smile Master Chief says, “I would like to gain access to your base. Shall I enter from the front or the rear?”. You can guess what her answer was.
What’s really going on: With the football championship coming up, Chief needed some extra practice on receiving the snap so Miranda readily complied.
What it looks like: Undeterred by the lack of hornets and banshees, one inventive couple tries a new way to join the prestigious Mile High Club.
What’s really going on: Pink refuses to let go of the mongoose as the ‘Maybe Next Time Buddy’ achievement was the last one she needed to get her katana.
What it looks like: White’s ongoing battle with necrophilia continues to grow worse with each game he plays.
What’s really going on: White team agreed to take periodic massage breaks in between battles in an effort to get reenergized.
What it looks like: Nine out of ten blue guys agree that a blow job is the best way to start every game.
What’s really going on: Blue consoles the guy that got stuck with the one person who disagreed with that statement.
What it looks like: Red got sick of Blue not believing him, so he decided to prove once and for all that his cod piece really was removable.
What’s really going on: You don’t want to know.
Posted by Soulofaqua on July 29, 2008 at 4:58 am
I’m underaged. I saw and read every last bit. You made me into a sex craving monster.
Posted by sheldon237 on August 1, 2009 at 6:16 pm
its about time you hit puberty. lol.
Posted by mendicantbias00 on July 29, 2008 at 4:59 am
Holy Sh*t I laughed soo hard…OMG those were great!
For “Deepthroat” Keyes, it appears that there are 4 arms she should be checking out instead of 3. o_O weird.
The Gold Spartan & Pink Elite – my jaw dropped at that one…thats one hell of a screenshot.
The two Blue Spartans – That one is just bad….hilarious…but bad.
Nice work, this is exactly what I needed to start my day!
Posted by Azrael on July 29, 2008 at 5:56 am
Best….Morning….Ever.
The blue and pink Hayabusa one is my favorite for sure.
Posted by Yahzee on July 29, 2008 at 6:06 am
that made my day lol
Posted by TheChrisD on July 29, 2008 at 6:07 am
You really need to think what those people are thinking as they take those screenshots…
Posted by -S- on July 29, 2008 at 6:10 am
Wow. You know Angel, usually your sexual humor is really, really subtle. Threw that ENTIRELY out the f*ckin window today didn’t ya lol. I love it.
Posted by mendicantbias00 on July 29, 2008 at 7:01 am
@ -S-
Especially when you consider that the previous topic was about cookies invading your tummy and todays was about “Deepthroat”, Bea Arthur, rim jobs, G-Spots, entering from the rear, mile-high clubs, necrophilia, blow jobs and cod pieces.
Amazing isnt it?
Kinda makes you want to…
Break into song?
Yup!
=D
Posted by xLAS3RP01NT3Rx on November 8, 2009 at 6:30 pm
I love the mountains..
Posted by BBJynne on July 29, 2008 at 7:49 am
…..
lol
Posted by Xor1an on July 29, 2008 at 8:26 am
The white spartan with the katana has gone beyond vanilla necrophilia. That’s auto-necrophilia (normally reserved for un-dead and time travelers).
Posted by Jillybean on July 29, 2008 at 8:56 am
Sporfle- Gold and the Covenant G Spots is just BEGGING to be made into some sort of LJ icon….
Posted by J sun Bourne on July 29, 2008 at 9:30 am
aaaajajajajaja
Posted by Pushing Play » Halo 3 Shows it’s Naughty Side. on July 29, 2008 at 9:52 am
[...] this link to check out the original story, complete with all the pictures you could ever [...]
Posted by Azrael on July 29, 2008 at 9:54 am
@ mendicantbias00:
What song would that be?
Perhaps “I Touch Myself”?
or “Secret Lovers”?
Maybe it just reminds you of losing your virginity to “Raindrop Prelude (Halo 3 theme song).”
Posted by Ray on July 29, 2008 at 9:55 am
@Soulofaqua:
LMAO! That was totally unexpected…
@-S-:
You hit the nail on the head with that statement…
@BS Angel:
WOW. Is your husband out of town?
xD
Seriously though, great article! It actually gave me something to smile about before I headed off to work, lol.
-Ray
Posted by bs angel on July 29, 2008 at 11:17 am
Since I am always looking at screenshots for my other site, I started bookmarking the more “interesting” ones I happened to stumble upon. I knew I wanted to do something with them, and this is what I ended up coming up with. LOL, … They were just too priceless to not use somehow. :)
Posted by Torrent on July 29, 2008 at 11:47 am
So this is what BS Angel really thinks about while playing Halo? No wonder she plays so poorly!
Posted by AdjustantReflex on July 29, 2008 at 11:58 am
……………..
Posted by Urban Reflex on July 29, 2008 at 12:04 pm
…You’re a bad girl.
Posted by Soulofaqua on July 29, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Congratz BS Angel you are on Kotaku dot cum!
@Ray: TOUCH ME!!!!
Posted by The More Deluded on July 29, 2008 at 12:05 pm
That was strangely arousing
OW!
yeah 911
Its Quagmire
yeah
yeah its in a window this time
Posted by Azrael on July 29, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Pink G-Spot Elite looks unimpressed with (her or its?) the lover. Looks like the key to an elite’s heart (or similar blood pumping organ) is through its G-Spot.
I never get any credit for horribly bad things. :( Oh well.
Posted by Sarge Tomzilla on July 29, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Hrm, YES, FOOTBALL, that is what they are practicing….nothing else!
Posted by Zep 077 on July 29, 2008 at 12:14 pm
http://youtube.com/watch?v=18TLHhhHZCA
^listen to this song while looking at these screenshots. It makes it a LOT funnier.
I swear by the internetz it is not a rickroll. Srsly.
Posted by bs angel on July 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm
LOL, … perfect song choice!
Posted by General Vagueness on July 29, 2008 at 12:22 pm
“are nowhere near the same place as humans’”
Well then where are they? That could serve as pretty good distraction while I perform a flanking maneuver. ;)
Posted by Pornografía en Halo 3? [NO apto para mentes sensibles xD] « Pixel o’ Rama on July 29, 2008 at 1:07 pm
[...] que es la ociosidad…He aquí algunas imágenes sacadas de Halo 3 en el blog Howty McBloggy, para los que creían que sólo Super Smash Bros. Brawl era el juego perfecto para sacar todo tipo [...]
Posted by Minimum Wage Gamer » Ok this is funny on July 29, 2008 at 1:11 pm
[...] Link addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mwgamer.com%2F%3Fp%3D646′; addthis_title = ‘Ok+this+is+funny’; addthis_pub = ”; [...]
Posted by Morpheus on July 29, 2008 at 3:06 pm
………….
I love you, BS Angel.
:D
How did you GET all those screenshots?!
Posted by geekinabox on July 29, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Makes me fondly remember the day my friend lost his wedding ring in my arse. That thing took *hours* to find.
Posted by Queen 0f Blades on July 30, 2008 at 7:34 am
I love the Miranda one. So much that it may or may not have been in my fileshare for a while so I can look at it every day and laugh.
I mean… whut?
Posted by Fate on July 30, 2008 at 7:36 am
Holy crap. I’ve overage and I still feel like I lost some of my innocence. Awesome screenshots angel.
Posted by Picture: Halo + Porn = WTF!?!? | Team Teabag on July 30, 2008 at 10:31 am
[...] Check out the full gallery and her excellent commentary here… [...]
Posted by AT-AT on July 30, 2008 at 10:48 am
Meh. I just see these screenshots for what they are (most of them being the after effects of a melee or splatter or explosion). Every time I take the time like some of these guys in the screenshots are, I usually end up dieing. Though it is funny to whack Miranda, sounds like she’s dieing in agony.
Posted by WolfSarge on July 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm
C’mon AT-AT, at least stop being mature for a second and take these shots totally out of context and see their unitentional sexual innuendo. It’s more funny that way.
Posted by XxXShabutieXxX on July 31, 2008 at 11:43 am
haha I love em all.
Posted by Matoro3311 on August 5, 2008 at 8:15 am
That…That is….Disturbing.
Posted by Tom on September 17, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Is it wrong that it turns me on?
Posted by ChargingKaboom1 on September 25, 2008 at 2:20 pm
i have another one you can add in there =D
http://www.bungie.net/stats/halo3/screenshot_viewer_popup.aspx?fs=true&ssid=53272224
Posted by Machinima Blog on October 14, 2008 at 12:47 pm
[...] I owe credit to Hawty McBloggy for posting this pic on her site first, but THESE need to be seen by the world! Here’s your screenshot of the [...]
Posted by PsycheDiver on October 20, 2008 at 5:54 am
…wow.
Posted by Matoro3311 on November 30, 2008 at 5:38 am
bs, I’m beginning to think that there is more pr0n here than on the rest of the internet.
Posted by bs angel on November 30, 2008 at 11:44 am
Yay! Goal #1: Complete
Posted by IH3SotW: Engaging in Hand to Gland Combat « Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play on January 27, 2009 at 12:39 pm
[...] them since figuring it out for yourself will be half the fun. Every one taken from my personal Halo pr0n collection, I hope you enjoy them as much as I [...]
Posted by The Top 7 Halo PrOnz Incidents | PlayWii|Nintendo Wii,Playstation,Xbox,Gadget Review on February 14, 2009 at 1:38 am
[...] The Hot Spartan PrOn; Most of you probably remember the crazy images posted on Hawty McBloggy’s site last year. The screen captures were disturbing and her commentary was clever and memorable. [...]
Posted by darkenedauthor on March 19, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Hahahaha, priceless stuff :)
Posted by goregasm on April 30, 2009 at 9:14 pm
awesome.
Posted by Psychosangheili on June 18, 2009 at 5:51 am
While in mid-air is the way to go ;D
Is it just me or does it look like the crimson ones holding something very long against himself/herself?
Posted by IH3SotW: Packing Heat « Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play on August 14, 2009 at 1:03 pm
[...] them since figuring it out for yourself will be half the fun. Every one taken from my personal Halo pr0n collection, I hope you enjoy them as much as I [...]
Posted by Madness on September 24, 2009 at 6:29 pm
The Bea Arthur comment made me piss my pants….
Posted by IH3SotW: Great Big Grunty Thirst « Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play on November 7, 2009 at 5:06 am
[...] them since figuring it out for yourself will be half the fun. Every one taken from my personal Halo pr0n collection, I hope you enjoy them as much as I [...]