Friday Caption Fun, Round 12
June 13, 2008 95 Comments
Today is not only Friday, but it is also my first official day of summer. While I am at an age where that unfortunately means more work, it also means less structure and more sleeping in. Before I go bask in the warm sunshine, let’s recap the wittiest of the almost 500 captions from last week’s screenshot and then try our hand at captioning yet another image. Oh, and the “om nom nom nom” total? A very paltry five. Get on the ball people!
- “The elite learns the hard way that the magician’s trick was just an illusion!” (Scotty)
- “After conquering the Peruvian Death Pepper, this elite decided to move on to decisively spicier dishes…” (Ragingterror)
- “Once Elites joined the Humans in the war it took them a while to get use to Human sayings, such as ‘bite the bullet’ in this case.” (Decoy 13)
- “Rocket. It’s what’s for dinner!” (QuackJAG)
- “Dammit Zannahee! Changing warthog tires is serious business! Either hold the flashlight the right way or get down here and help me!” (-S-)
- “Squiggles, the armless elite, would not be denied in his quest to be a Jedi.” (Jake’sDad)
- “Rockets are made of cake?!” (Buy Jeans)
- “1.5 seconds after finally mastering the martial art of missile biting, this poor soul realized why it had very nearly become a lost art.” (Sparxter)
- “Halo 3 update 2.0. Fixes. Muting players is now 117 times more awesome.” (snoopeasystreet)
- “Biting the Bullet: You’re doing it wrong” (UltiDrgn)
I’d also like to give a special shoutout to Penguinish for his caption (“After her Katamari tampon bag ripped, she found the next best thing.”), even though I am probably the only one who understands it. Trust me though, if you knew what his reference was, you would get a kick out of it too. StealthSpeed3 also comes away with nonexistent bonus points for his subtle NIN reference (“Will you Nom the Rocket that Feeds You? Will the Elite drop to his knees?”). This week we continue the Covenant theme with another cute red Elite screenshot. My title for it is “Hiding” but what is your witty caption?
Author: Hiiewerty
N0ws i gotz l337 h!dingz, i can haz reconz?
After being used as a tampon bag, he knew his only chance at survival, would be the one place she would never look for him.
Doing a barrel rol… GOD DOES THAT EVEN LOOK LIKE IT!?
Elite suicide bomber sleeping at work.
After an elite bachelor party, they usually sleep by the final keg. “I can haz beer?”
Because Spartans want to be just as cool as rayman
*one Spartan to another*
Aww isnt that cute? Look he’s sleepin!
I HAZ POWR CORE
While Dan was passed out, Steve and Mike carefully placed a fusion core on his crotch. OWNED!
Sure is warm though…
Powering up 1%
IMA CHARGING MAH LAZERZ!!! please wait 10 min.
You interlocking motherf***ers!
“When I asked the Monitor for ‘great power between my legs’, this is not what I had in mind.”
Who knew Bungie took the term “FUSION coil” so seriously?
Early attempts at installing human technologies into covenant power armor did not go well…
This, class, is precisely why you never say “Macbeth” in a theatre.
*Knocks on wood*
And here you see a fusion tree sprouting roots for the harsh winter.
Hi I’m Kwan Guranee and I’m here to tell you about a great new product to help you live your life even if you have extreme jock itch. The itch master is applied easily by being dropped directly on HERRRRGGGHHH
Marine to another Marine
“It looks like Jason still hasn’t found his machete”
“Yeah, but he’s been getting really creative without it…”
Look, someone spread peanut butter on the inside and it didn’t look that hard to reach alright? Now stop asking silly questions and get me out of this quick before the blue team comes back.
When the Elite heard how well Solid Snake stealthy takes out his opponents, he decided to give it a try.
R2D2′s stunt double handled all the explosions
After being laid the egg must incubate for three months before the tiny elite
is born blind and armorless
Bungie’s spartans get flaming heads their elites get exploding torsos
In the postgame lobby, compliments were paid to ‘xXxFuS1oNc0iLxXx’ for his proficient spawn-killing.
1) Spying: you’re doing it wrong
2) Damn, i dropped my car keys in there.
Oscar the Grouch’s Halo 3 Alias caught on camera.
Intergalactic strength superglue: WARNING, may cause hilarious situations..
The atomic powered phone never made it to the market.
The introduction of the Portal Gun into Halo 3 caused serious issues with game physics.
“Gonk!”
A remake of The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf had serious casting issues for the pigs, due to modernisations in the script – in particular:
“Come out, come out, or I’ll blow your house UP!”
There are some times when crossbreeding can be both useful and awesome. However, when an Elite loves a fusion core slightly too much the resulting offspring is neither.
“To all the Elites out there with ladies to impress,
it’s easy to do, just follow these steps:
1. Cut a hole in a fusion coil.
2. Put your junk in that fusion coil.”
“John, I am NOT your father.”
When elite camo fails,use the next best thing!
Elite-”Transformation Jutsu” ”Now they will never susp……..*BOOOOOOOOOOOM*
This version of Hezbollah’s recruitement posters did not go over well with the Iranian president.
Someone overdosed on food nipple last night…..
When you realized it was an Elite, you laughed. When you realized it was an Assault Elite, which has very ugly armor, you laughed really hard. Then you felt bad at laughing so damn hard. But then you saw the private pictures of it and the fusion coil, and then it was alright to laugh so damn hard.
The rocket is a lie, the fusion coil is forever.
Jigsaw: “Hello Elite… As you can see, there is a bomb attached to your groin…”
~I~
This dude’s HardCore!
When Bob the elite received his trial prescription for Enzyte, he had no idea how potent it was.
Lord Hood: That’s the Arbiter’s son?
Keyes: Yes sir.
Lord Hood: Smart kid.
“Fusion Coil: The biggest baddest beer in the land.”
‘Zasumee thought he was safe until he was eventually found by the Tickle Spartans.
R2! Why couldn’t you just leave the elite alone? Now look at what you have to support until it’s eighteen!
now dont tell me that the fusion core just grew legs and walked away!!
Bungie tries to ride the coattails of Portal with their own version of the companion cube….it didn’t fair so well
The future of terrorism.
CORED!!! And I mean literally
“Elite in a box. Now with more fusion.”
“And now we play the waiting game”
“The new guy got Juicyfruit. It’ll be mine soon enough.”
Using a dead Elite decoy as bait, the elusive Fusion Coil will stalk its victims hoping that they will attempt to shoot it. At that point, the Fusion Coil will detonate, allowing it to consume the new dead body when it respawns.
[/National Geographic]
“Oh come on Chief. Where did you learn how to hide the bodies, video games??”
Bungie finally caved into the incessant community pressure and put more armor perms into Halo 3 for the elites. however because Bungie is twisted, the new armor explodes when shot.
After much careful thought the Elite realized he shouldn’t have let the humans give him an armor upgrade.
how the fusion coils actually move around in forge
how the Pillar of Autumn really blew up in HALO 1
chief: my halloween costume is the monitor and the best thing you can come up with is a fusion coil?
arbitor: the costume shop had either this or a traffic cone and the flood guy already took the warthog
heres what humans say to the stupid comment “we come in peace”
Doing a barrel roll:you’re doing it wrong
“Great catch, Enirr’ Vernomee! Now throw it back!”
Camoflauge- You’re doing it wrong.
“Welcome back for another round of Sadistic Sanghelli!”
(ok, should me masochistic, but this jingles better)
what, no Saw references?
How about this: Elites are the new Traffic Cone!
ok, done.
We salute you, Mr. Parking Attendant Flashlight Waver… leaving the security of your 2×2 foot heated hut, you light the way.
Since when did teddy bears become volatile?
Is that a fusion coil in your armor, are are you just happy to see me?
“Guys I’m stuck.. Guys?”
As a rare challenge for courageous elites, it is a dangerous act that results in the birth of such a child…
The new Elite camouflage isn’t quite what the researchers had in mind!
It’s the solid snake of Halo.
Snake: Colonel I seem to have infiltrated the blue base what should I do?
Colonel: Snake it is your duty to steal the human skull lying somewhere in this base.
Snake: WTF a human skull!? Dude that’s gross!
When Elites play hide and seek, getting spotted often has dire consequences.
When the flood stormed the base, the Elite put the proverb “If you can’t see them, they can’t see you” to the test.
OR
Spartan (offscreen): Say “Wort”, or I’ll detonate it!
Note to self: Hiding behind a fusion core is a BAAAD idea.
“OM NOM NOM NOM!” Sorry I had to…
Here is proof: Two pieces of matter CAN occupy the same space at the same time.
1. “When a body meet a body…”
2. “Safest place in the world to hide… till someone tries to get Recon.”
3. “Transformers gone horribly wrong.”
The testing of the new covenant portable toilet-in-a-can did not go so well. So far, all tests have resulted in death.
“Does this outfit make me look fat?”
“It’s incredible what you can do with a drunk Elite, a glowy box and an ambitious photographer”
Or how about
“Uh Frank, I believe the term ‘The most dangerous place is the safest place’ isn’t meant to be taken literally”
Last time I go out drinking with Johnson.
Or…
Johnson: Why isn’t the Arbiter out on patrol, Chief?
Master Chief: Oh, he’s blowing that off .
a wild south american noob in hiding, waiting for its prey
It took some time for the Sanghelli race to understand human jokes, such as having an “Explosive Personality”.
Heh, I have another one.
“I can haz breathing noaw, please?”
Nope, This one’s OK. Let’s check the one over there.
“I IZ NINJAZ!”
or
“I can not see you, so you cannot see me!”
or
“SCREW RECONZ! THEEZ IZ BETTER ARMOR PERMZ!”
Elite Drop Pods: Your doing it wrong!
After all that… the Forerunners died for nothing!
Sir-honestly!!! They ran away when I tried hooking them up to the fusion generator!!!!
When Viagra Goes Wrong…..
Suicide bombers need sleep too.