Friday Caption Fun, Round 9
May 23, 2008 140 Comments
The weekend is almost here. Maybe you are getting ready to attend the Red vs. Blue CanWest community event or perhaps you are excited about simply relaxing over the long holiday weekend. Regardless of what your plans include, you still have to get through today. Let’s make the time pass just a little bit quicker by first recapping last week’s screenshot and then captioning another entertaining screenshot, shall we?
- “Pwn to King’s Bishop-3. Check. I think.” (S@ndm@n)
- “Young man how many times have I told you not to play in that sand box…the cats go potty in there!” (mendicantbias00)
- “Ah! So that’s what the creator of Halo Action Theatre looks like!” (DragonKnight08 )
- “Even as a little child bs angel loved Halo, see here a picture of her playing with her Spartan Barbie in her own Mjolnir suit of armor.” (soulofaqua)
- “Godzilla-Spartan has gone on a rampage after finding out he can not haz recon.” (Celsius070)
- “Shown here, the momma spartan carries her newborn by the more flexible gel layer behind the neck.” (Dan)
- “An artist’s rendition of what it’s like when Bungie lifts mixed party restrictions, resulting in a team of Lieutenants facing a team of Brigadiers.” (petetheduck)
- “When applying the newest gadgets in surveillance technology, we inadvertently witness the true cause of the fabled ‘super-bounce’.” (retinence)
Well that would make traveling the length of the map a lot quicker at least, right? And probably a lot more fun too. Speaking of fun, let’s take a look at this week’s screenshot. I call it “Spartan Love” because of its romantic nature, but what is your caption for it?
Author: Hookum Snivey
You see guys, halo has the same amount of sex as grand theft auto!
“…ok, now take a deep breath…”
On the outer most section of the map Red and Blue consummated their forbidden relationship.
The chicken bone was finally dislodged once Church decided it would be easier if Sarge wasn’t wearing his armor.
“It’s not gay if we keep our helmets on!”
A little to the left hun.
BS Angel finally has her chance on a double headshot.
Even in lovemaking blue is da man!
Red: Is that a gun in my anus or are you happy to see me?
Blue: eh, well.. actually it is a spike grenade. *runs like hell*
Goddamnit, I told you not to eat that chicken! I won’t let you die on meeeee!
And THAT, is where spartans come from. Any questions?
Finally the Red and Blue army have found a way to come to an agreement!
So I can haz recon now?
After being told that they were gonna get raped by the blue team, they didn’t think they meant literally.
You know what, ..it fits for this week’s screenshot too :-P
“An artist’s rendition of what it’s like when Bungie lifts mixed party restrictions, resulting in a team of Lieutenants facing a team of Brigadiers.”
Ahh, hah.. hmm.
Anyone noticed that it always is red being pwned by blue?
I guess I missed out on last week’s, I would have said “So that’s how forge really works!”
This week’s is
“Without a mic, nobody can hear you say ‘No’ “
“Wrong hole, fool!”
“So you thought tea bagging my body earlier was funny huh??”
One of Bungie’s earliest drawing board ideas that never made it past the beta: ‘Hold X to Shame’
After many updates, the multiplayer list finally stood as follows -
Assault: Single Bomb
Assault: Multi Bomb
Assault: Neutral Bomb
Assault: Sexual
This brings Xbox Live code of conduct violation to a WHOLE new level
“Hey Red, don’t stand too close to the edge, it looks pretty danger..*pushes/catches* WHOA!!! ha! savedyourlife!”
*Killing Spree!* ^
“Look if you’re not gonna take leap-frog seriously then I’m just gonna go home”
After Red passed out from too many brewski’s on the same night he left his new digital camera lying on the floor next to him – Blue knew exactly what he had to do: embarrass his friend on the internet.
“Say uncle, say uncle!”
Scene from the new season of ‘Cheaters: Video Game Edition’
The Halo 3 heimlich maneuver – honorable, life saving, and awkward as hell.
*Killing Frenzy!* ^
When “Tea-Bagging” just isn’t enough.
Red: I thought you said you were gonna show me the Man-Cannon….
Blue mistakenly thought his friends were telling him to “Bone” the n00bs.
Blue’s gamertag: HeimlichPwnage
Anyone noticed the three bulletholes caused by the voyeuristic pervert that is peeping at them through his sniper scope? they are caused by his orgasms.
Now *umph* I *umph* Can haz recon? *umph*
When blue heard a gunshot he was so scared he grabbed the thing most nearby…
I would like to gain access to your base. prepare to be entered from the rear!
I’m holding down my right bumper to board you. Is it working yet?
Ha blatant abuse of BS her own lines!
Jungle love! it’s driving me mad, it’s making me crayzeh!
The things some people will do to try to get Recon.
UNSC ANTI-DRUG AD:
Red on the phone: “What do you mean theres a picture of me and a Blue floating around on the internet?” “I don’t remember even seeing a Blue last night…I was soooo high.”
This give “Spawn-raping” a whole new meaning.
The new spartan lifesized plush!
Alright, who put the MARK IV armor on the dog.
Blue: Would you like a “Happy Ending”.
Red: Uhhh Im okay actually, I dont think my end will be happy for a looong time.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Blue: You mess with the bull young man, you’ll get the horn!
Red: My what a lovely “Tea Party”.
Oh my! Kinky!! Everyone else’s caption is so good I can’t even think of one! lol
I guess this ain’t the right time to say I got an STD is it.
Jack Thompson just lost his shit.
Sadly, Blue realized that this relation ship would not work, as a result that you cannot pleasure a girl through her armor. He should have tried one of bs angel’s pickup lines.
The new mancannon just secure yourself tightly pump a few times and get ready to fly!
Taking a seat, Master Chief put his popcorn in his lap and got ready to watch his new porno DVD’s.
hun, i just killed you for the make-up sex. honesty…
Face it… You’ve caught me doing worse.
The 4th grade reenactment of “Titanic” took a turn toward awkward when Rose ‘literally’ did not let Jack go.
Blue: Hugz b4 u g0!!11!one
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right..blah blah.
Any questions red scum?
With Red erecting a wall, a rear assault was clearly the best route for Blue…
“Mother was CQB, father was part Rogue, part Hayabusa. Their kid had one awful armor perm..”
Taking Code of conduct vilation to a whole new level
“The x-button’s original function was scrapped in later development”
Bite the pillow, boy, I’M GOING IN DRY!!!
Please allow me to summarize all of the captions:
disgusting; cliché; ouch
There are some cleverly cute (and clean) ones in there as well.
“You are a girl, right?”
Gimp Time (Pulp Fiction)
red: You’d better call me after this!
Much to the dismay of the homophobic halo community, Bungie had decided to do away with the ban hammer for a little more direct approach.
“How do you rate the humiliation factor?”
“High…”
(Quote from Red vs. Blue)
“Bomb armed. Bomb planted.”
Sorry I couldn’t think of good, clean one. :|
I won’t quit you!
“brokeback halo”
or,
bungie has released new DLC, titled “brokeback edition”
Blue: Sir! SIR?! ARE YOU CHOKING?!
Red: HNNNNNGH!!!!!
Blue: TELL ME IF YOU’RE CHOKING!!!
Red: HHHNNNG! HNNGH!!!!
Blue: I’M GOING TO PERFORM THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER!!!!
Blue: Cock goes where?!
Red: Ah, no! Not in there! Not in there!
Blue: You’re not going to shit right for a month.
In other news, two Spartans were taken into custody for “…doing it like they do it on the Discovery Channel.”
~I~
What life without commitment would be like.
The Real Humpday Challenge!
I feel the beginnings of a machinima edition of Law and Order: Special Victim Unit coming on (no pun intended).
-Steve
“I’m glad just to be this close to you, Ms. Patterson.”
(Said in voice of pimply-faced teenager from The Simpsons)
“Don’t puke on the floor dude! Go over the railing!”
“Suck it, Red!”
and this is how halo humpdays came to be.
“Hang on. Lemme put on some music, sexy.”
(Barry White)
Aahh
Ooh, baby
Ooh, baby
Keep on
(My baby)
Keep on doing it
Right on (oh, oh, oh)
Right on doing it
(We get it together)
Baby keep on
(Oh We get it together baby)
Right on
Keep on doing it
(And I’ll give you baby)
[All that I get]
Now my baby keep on
(I swear we get it together baby)
Keep on , keep on
Wherever, wherever girl I’ll do it
Forever and ever, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I’ll see you through it
I’ve got to keep you pleased in every way I can
Gonna give you all of me
As much as you can stand
Make love to you right now
That’s all I want to do
I know you need it, girl, and you know
I need it, too
‘Cause I found what the world is searching for
Here, right here, my dear
I don’t have to look no more
And, oh, my babe
I hoped and I prayed for someone
Just like you to make me feel the way you do
Never, never gonna give you up
I’m never, ever gonna stop
Not the way I feel about you
Girl, I just can’t live without you
I’m never ever gonna quit,
‘Cause quitin’ just ain’t my schtick
I’m gonna stay right here with you
Do all the things you want me to
Whatever you want, girl, you got it
And whatever you need
I don’t want to see you without it
You’ve given me much more than words could ever say
And oh, my dear, I’ll be right here until my dying day
I don’t know just how to say all the things I feel
I just know that I love you so and it gives me such a thrill
‘Cause I found what this world is searching for
Here, right here, my dear
I don’t have to look no more
And all of my days I hoped and I prayed
For someone just like you
To make me feel the way you do
I never, never gonna give you up
I’m never, ever gonna stop
Stop the way I feel about you
Girl I just can’t live without you
I’m never ever gonna quit
‘Cause quitin’ just ain’t my schtick
I’m gonna stay right here with you
Do all the things you want me to
Oh I never gonna give you up
I’m never, ever gonna stop
All the things I feel about you girl
I just can’t live without you
I’m never ever gonna quit
‘Cause quitin’ just ain’t my schtick
I’m gonna stay right here with you
Do all the things you want me to
Look, Red, it’s only five feet down, if you really want to jump to your death the fire pit is the other way.
And sadly this was how red learned the importance of checking your six.
The true reason bungie created more team colors….
The beginnings of purple team.
“Squeel like a pig, boy”
Deliverance quotes anyone?
“And remember, this is for posterity so, be honest. How do you feel?”
[cries and moans of pain]
“Interesting.”
When blue saw red choking on a peanut, he decided that this was just too humiliating of a way to die. So he gave him the heimlich maneuver and made it that much worse.
Press ‘X’ to ride brokeback.
1. “Bungie’s new gametype ‘Sexual Assault’ was probably going too far.”
2. “Discussion just before:
Red: ‘So, what would you do if you were about to die?’
Blue: ‘I’d probably have sex with the first thing that moved, how about you?’
Red: ‘I’d remain perfectly still.’”
3. “It was an effort but the Blue managed to stop the Red from jumping to his death after he discovered he had been put on the: ‘Will never have Recon’ list.”
“Surprise Buttsex”
The best unexpected thing you never knew you needed
i must have found the ark, cuz ur ass is out of this world.
“Dead Spartans don’t say no.”
“Infected!”
Oh cmon, someone has to say it..
“SURPRISE BUTTSEX!”
Red: How long do we have to stay here?
Blue: Until these uneducated kiddies stop making fun of us.
Eva, how many times have I told you, those apples are poisonous!
red was so jealous of Niko Bellic carrying more then 8 grenades, he improvised…
thurs a partay in mai armer adn ur invti3d!1*
* credits to digital ph33r
There’s a cookie on your back! *nom nom nom nom*
The new assault variant is shockingly different from previous ones.
or
One of many ideas that were rejected by Bungie as the new X button feature.
I say what what, in the butt?
Don’t be sad, I’ll give you a hug!
“Don b sad. I r ur friend, Red. It’s all gon b k…”
Bungie will be releasing a new Team Doubles playlist this week, Team Swingers…
“Betchya can’t stick it”
that “Jack Thompson just lost his shit” line was genius btw. I laughed hard.
GLOMP!
You’re going to start playing in this match with me if I have to carry you!
It was the weirdest version of Romeo & Juliet anyone had ever seen.
But I don’t wanna fight the scary aliens!!
This give a whole new meaning to ”Bear Hug”.
@ Soulofaqua
Nice South Park Reference.lol
What Micheal Jackson dreams of doing to little boys in halo.”Its a thriller”
Luke says goodbye to Frankie, Halo style.
Blue wondered how he would explain the red paint on his mask.
Bachelor party lives in infamy as Blue gets his face stuck awkwardly between Red’s shoulderblade plates.
‘I can’t quit you! (I’ll get an experience penalty!)’
‘We’re getting boarded from the rear! And not the ‘hey baby, take a deep breath, let’s experiement’ kind of boarding from the rear!’
Bonus points if you catch the referrence…
MendicantBias00? Is that you from the HBO forums?
I bet this makes you all misty eyed too. :-D
LOL Yes SonofMacPhisto it is I.
*sniff sniff*
It does make me a bit bleary eyed.
=)
Welcome to the first scene of HALOBack Mountain
“Hey Luke, maybe we should rate this M for Mature?”
Everyone was stunned the day Bungie announced what genre Halo: The Movie would be in.
SonofMacPhisto:
nice family guy: blue harvest reference! lolz
b0nu5 p01nt5 2 m33!!!11!!eleven!
You wouldn’t happen to have that spike grenade laying around, would you?
Red’s thoughts: I wish I had a mic.
Halo: Politics Edition
When Obama decided to play McCain in a Democrat vs Republican Halo match, things went terribly wrong.
Blue: Turn you voice setting to female.
Red: What?
Blue: Just do it!
Red: Why….OH MY GOD!
GTA has hot coffee
Halo has Warm Apple Pie.
“Red Team – Scored”
Its called Matchmaking for a reason