I woke up this morning, made the startling realization that today was Friday, and breathed a gigantic sigh of relief. I’ve had a busy week so my electrifying plans for weekend include climbing into bed and not coming out until the alarm goes off on Monday morning. Exciting, I know. Before I bury myself in the sea of blankets that is already calling my name, let’s revisit last week’s rather humorous captions.
- “That fateful weekend it wasn’t the EXP that Bungie mistakenly doubled.” (petetheduck)
- “You should see what he’s packing UNDER his armor.” (-S-)
- “Dude! That Hayabusa armor is AWESOME!” (Seth)
- “Size DOES matter!” (soulofaqua)
- “Caboose from RVB didn’t realize the tank was cheating on him until he saw her first kid.” (Michael Dardis)
- “You know what? I’m sick of this ‘the H3 battle rifle isn’t strong enoughhh’ whining – I hope you enjoy the new PERMANENT game update, you MLG jerks” – Frankie (-S-)
- “You should see the sniper rife…” (NsU Soldier)
- “Bungie’s last-ditch effort to overtake CoD4 on the XBL charts.” (R2-JL)
Bungie is going to need an even bigger last-ditch effort now that GTA IV is out. Ouch! While they worry about the bigger and better of things, let’s look at another funny screenshot. I named this one “Shooting Blanks”, but what is your witty caption for it?
Author: sputnik410
Posted by mendicantbias00 on May 9, 2008 at 3:13 am
“Go Go Gadget…..uhhh……Rifle!!”
Posted by mendicantbias00 on May 9, 2008 at 3:18 am
“Shock Trooper carries a whooole new meaning.”
(also…i have a lil picture by my name….where did that come from?)
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 3:34 am
The new GOLIATH-VI armor made for the well-endowed under us.
Now with extra spotlight for searching you’re way to the Gspot!
Negro’s need armor too, you know!
Because fangirls have needs too!
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 3:48 am
@ Mendicantbias00:
You noticed a feature that WordPress just rolled out earlier this week. Apparently there are various options of random icons to choose from (or none at all like how it used to be). She was unsure of whether she would use it or not but after getting my feedback, she said she would certainly stick with it as of right now. I did a search just for your comments and while the images are randomly generated, yours is consistent as long as you post under the usual username/password.
Posted by TCKaos on May 9, 2008 at 4:37 am
Steel plated condom complete with flashlight! (Eww.)
Posted by mooshadow on May 9, 2008 at 5:04 am
“Now that’s a boomstick”
Posted by bvl on May 9, 2008 at 5:06 am
(this one goes with the pick-up lines)
‘when i see you i put away my assult rifle and pull out my sniper.’
Posted by Salen on May 9, 2008 at 5:10 am
“Is that an assault rifle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
Posted by mendicantbias00 on May 9, 2008 at 5:11 am
*Red Spartan* – So what’s your name, darlin’?
*Off Screen* – Kate. What’s yours?
*Red Spartan* – Sex Machine. Pleased to meet you, Kate.
p.s. Thanks soulofaqua!
I got myself a little custom gravatar now. =)
Posted by JeSteR 343 on May 9, 2008 at 5:14 am
You thought YOU were happy to see me!
Posted by JeSteR 343 on May 9, 2008 at 5:14 am
Awe, beat me to it Salen.
;)
Posted by newguy2445 on May 9, 2008 at 5:36 am
“Permission to enter rear entrance”
“Time to finish the fight”
“A Spartan must utilize every part of his body”
Posted by newguy2445 on May 9, 2008 at 5:37 am
Spartan Condoms
Posted by FocusedWeevil on May 9, 2008 at 5:44 am
This is my caption
Hey,wana ride my mancannon,baby?
Posted by ausqb on May 9, 2008 at 5:51 am
“He’s really showing us what a man with an assault rifle in his pants can do.”
“Bungie’s take on a “Last Stand” feature didn’t really turn out as planned.”
Posted by ausqb on May 9, 2008 at 5:54 am
I don’t want to stray too far off-topic here, but I have uploaded my own avatar to my WordPress account but it is not showing up anywhere. Anyone care to explain? soulofaqua?
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:01 am
Now that’s how you shoot from the hip
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:05 am
Red always got into trouble showing off his ‘trick shots’ for the ladies
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:11 am
Now THAT is just ridiculous, honestly who mixes the Katana with the ODST helmet, I mean really
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:13 am
*Michael McDonald voice* “Look what I can do!”
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:16 am
Bungie’s latest feature: ‘Triple Wielding’ resulted in many, many lawsuits
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:16 am
^ killtacular
I’m ready for you this week, soulofaqua!
Posted by A Shaky Shotgun on May 9, 2008 at 6:32 am
The UNSC’s attempt to create the Mark VII armor with built in defensive systems did not go as planned.
Tucker defected to the reds after Sarge promised to upgrade his armor.
Posted by Penguinish on May 9, 2008 at 6:35 am
Good thing its not a Spartan Laser, because i wouldnt want the ladies to know im pointing at them!
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:37 am
After 1 day of being hired to re-design the latest MJOLNIR armor, Tony Stark was let go.
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:39 am
“Look, who cares HOW it happened, just stop snickering and take me to the ER dammit!”
Posted by mendicantbias00 on May 9, 2008 at 6:46 am
“Hello, 911? Yeah this is Quagmire again…uh huh…no its in a rifle this time.”
p.s.
I don’t want to stray too far off-topic here, but I have uploaded my own avatar to my WordPress account but it is not showing up anywhere. Anyone care to explain? soulofaqua?
ausqb, clear your cache, thats what I had to do and it showed up instantly. Also make sure that your gravatar email is the same one you use to post here.
=)
Posted by UEG PaniK on May 9, 2008 at 6:47 am
The UNSC is running tests for a weapon that can be concealed under the armor incase a spartan is captured. The first few models seemed slightly too…..bulky
Posted by GreenShift on May 9, 2008 at 6:54 am
“This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for…. oh, wait a second….”
Posted by ausqb on May 9, 2008 at 6:59 am
Sweet. Thanks a lot mendicant.
“I told you what lying would do…”
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 6:59 am
“Trust me guys…you DON’T wanna know where the other half of the rifle is stuck”
Posted by SecondsToSafety on May 9, 2008 at 7:02 am
I’m tellin’ ya, that thing has a mind of its own.
Posted by D3 on May 9, 2008 at 7:06 am
“Son, that’s not what I meant when I said we’d be using Assault Rifles for protection…”
Posted by nyo on May 9, 2008 at 7:17 am
“that’s not a natural formation”
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 7:17 am
This leaked screenshot from an upcoming Halo 3 expansion pack shows yet another Bungie-only armor permeation.
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 7:21 am
It’s not the size I’m jealous of–it’s the built-in flashlight. That would sure come in handy..
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 7:25 am
“The weird part? He was using the female Spartan voice…”
Posted by Boomer on May 9, 2008 at 7:25 am
Move over Trojan Man, here comes Spartan Man !!
Da,ta,ta,Daaaaa
Posted by Shu Sam Chen on May 9, 2008 at 7:27 am
With so many people complaining about only being able to hold two weapons at a time, Bungie rolled out the next AutoUpdate.
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 7:30 am
“You should have seen the expression on the guy he was shooting at!”
Posted by -S- on May 9, 2008 at 7:35 am
*interrupts killtacular*
Posted by aussie_spartan on May 9, 2008 at 7:38 am
“I’m hit!”
“Where?”
Posted by Sparki on May 9, 2008 at 7:40 am
“Even though it freed his hands for flamboyant gestures, recoil was never factored into Donut’s Handless Armor/Rifle Mod design”
Posted by madBOX20 on May 9, 2008 at 7:44 am
i guess AR stands for “Anatomic Replacement”
Posted by aussie_spartan on May 9, 2008 at 7:51 am
“What he did at the Halo 3 after party will echo through his life for years to come.”
Posted by Mercutio2000 on May 9, 2008 at 7:52 am
In the past it was honorable to impale yourself on your sword to avoid dishonoring your family. Simmons (from RvB) always goes the extra mile for Sarge.
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 8:07 am
It may look like he has a big one but that’s just his armor.
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 8:09 am
“After seeing this image, Cortana permanently deactivated the Mark-VI’s built-in dream-recorder.”
Posted by Crackshot53 on May 9, 2008 at 8:09 am
Hey, look what I can do!
Posted by Rivtander on May 9, 2008 at 8:10 am
“The MA-5C Assault Crotch. Battle hardened, for your armor piercing pleasure.”
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 8:11 am
From the makers of the elephant slip comes the new AR-Mjolnir armor because you like to show off.
When Ron Jeremy started playing Halo 3, bungie decided to give him a special armor of himself… he asked why they did not use a sniper rifle.
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 8:11 am
“He’s coming this way!! Quick, someone deploy a power-drain!!”
“Another piece of equipment Bungie cut in development”
..that’s probably enough of these ;)
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 8:14 am
He’s a real lady killer
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 8:17 am
The new assault rifle placement worked well against female but failed to shoot high enough when against male.
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 8:18 am
Bungie’s answer against femme fatales
Posted by Valentine on May 9, 2008 at 8:28 am
“Say hello to my little friend” :)
Posted by A Pharmacist on May 9, 2008 at 8:32 am
This is my rifle, this is my gun. This one’s for pleasure, this one’s for fun.
Posted by Angel 251 on May 9, 2008 at 8:39 am
Frank’s attempt to bicycle-kick his rifle failed miserably…
Posted by Bud the Chud on May 9, 2008 at 8:45 am
“Excuse me while I whip this out”
Posted by Keiran on May 9, 2008 at 9:01 am
You should consult with your doctor if:
1) Erection lasts longer than two hours.
2) Awkward shapes form.
3) Uncontrollable discharges
Posted by John CB on May 9, 2008 at 9:09 am
Because of the gene modification given to some ODSTs, the use of Viagra after service came with an unexpected side effect.
Posted by Stephen Smith on May 9, 2008 at 9:16 am
“Come on, keep it in your Titanium-A, black-matted, cybernetically-melded, hydrostatic-gel-incapsulated, energy-shielded, multi-trillion dollar pants, please.”
..be weird if it was Kelly.
It looks like that piercing eleven year old that’s been screaming through his mic all game FINALLY got a double kill.
Posted by sttng7 on May 9, 2008 at 9:21 am
“Yes, I have my concealed weapons permit.”
“Schwing!” (Wayne’s World anyone?)
Posted by solidmercury on May 9, 2008 at 9:30 am
“Enlarge your manhood,” the email said, “please the ladies,” the email said, it didn’t say anything about how to keep your balance!!
Posted by Keiran on May 9, 2008 at 9:30 am
I got charged with “Assult” once…
Posted by BattleMaster25 on May 9, 2008 at 9:32 am
#1, 22, 24, 32, and 38 second one, were my favorites!!
Posted by Lekku on May 9, 2008 at 9:34 am
Now featuring The Mark VI chastity belt!
Posted by stabbim on May 9, 2008 at 9:39 am
“*Michael McDonald voice* “Look what I can do!””
I vote for this one. :)
Posted by Revshawn on May 9, 2008 at 9:51 am
“You should see the sniper rife…” (NsU Soldier)
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 9:56 am
“Behold the future of Humpday at Bungie Studios”
Posted by Keiran on May 9, 2008 at 9:57 am
Talk about penatration…
Posted by Keiran on May 9, 2008 at 10:00 am
Ladies like…the big guns…
Posted by Keiran on May 9, 2008 at 10:01 am
The new armor is perfect for when then enemy catches you during your call of nature.
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 10:02 am
You should see the shape of the ammo!
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 10:04 am
since bungie’s new modpack for halo 3 the term “headshot” was changed to “bukkake”
Posted by Keiran on May 9, 2008 at 10:04 am
Bungies new addition to Assult
Posted by AlStrong on May 9, 2008 at 10:08 am
Look ma, no hands!
Posted by Cailus on May 9, 2008 at 10:14 am
When Cortana saw the latest augmentation to the Master Chief, she stayed on the Cairo’s mainframe for weeks.
Posted by ZZoMBiE13 on May 9, 2008 at 10:14 am
1)
“Red vs Blue has rejected many character ideas that fans sent in.
“CrotchPump” was one of the toughest to let go though. ”
2)
“When I get that “not-so-fresh feeling”, I use BULLETDOUCHE. New, from the makers of ALWAYS with wings.”
Posted by ZZoMBiE13 on May 9, 2008 at 10:15 am
3)
Who says Spartans are tougher than ODSTs???
Posted by retinence on May 9, 2008 at 10:47 am
You may “THINK” thats water under his feet…
Posted by retinence on May 9, 2008 at 10:49 am
This happened 2 hours after Red saw ‘Grindhouse’
Posted by GreenShift on May 9, 2008 at 11:45 am
“Oh, I know what the ladies like.”
One of the best lines of Halo 2.
Posted by Firestorm12 on May 9, 2008 at 11:56 am
You should see how he reloads it…
Posted by tyler on May 9, 2008 at 12:17 pm
“send me out with a bang”
Posted by Greg on May 9, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Jerry should never have bought used Stormtrooper armor.
Posted by spiffv2 on May 9, 2008 at 12:57 pm
This weapon has no safety
Posted by spiffv2 on May 9, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Voltron’s mysterious 6th ‘member’
Posted by spiffv2 on May 9, 2008 at 1:08 pm
When Sarge says he has a boner for murder, he ain’t kiddin’
Posted by spiffv2 on May 9, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Oh yeah, I can fly.
Posted by Yellow Six on May 9, 2008 at 1:11 pm
It’s plenty big, but how’s the… uh… “reload time”?
Posted by Thunderstream328 on May 9, 2008 at 1:30 pm
THIS is the weapon under my armor! Surprised? Cos I’m gonna shoot you to sex heaven
Posted by verd on May 9, 2008 at 2:02 pm
This is my rife its for fun not fighting
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 2:15 pm
This is my rifle,
but also my gun!
It’s not only for shooting,
its also for fun!
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 2:19 pm
The moment he found out he no longer had balls
Posted by soulofaqua on May 9, 2008 at 2:22 pm
watch out spartan orgasms ahead!
Posted by 7he grunt w/a plasma pistol on May 9, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Check out the new Alien-weapon hybrid! It bursts from your chest firing!
Posted by DenimDan312 on May 9, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Bah-Bah-Bah BALLS OF STEEL!
Posted by Seth on May 9, 2008 at 2:33 pm
‘If this is still here in 3 hours, I’m going to see a doctor!’
Posted by CANTANATRIX on May 9, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Hey guys! Like my new military-grade titanium codpiece? It even has a flashlight for when I need to pee in the dark…
Posted by retinence on May 9, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Apparently this is suppose to help my balancing issues…. its not working.
Posted by Ultra Dolphin on May 9, 2008 at 3:26 pm
“Spray and pray.”
Posted by Lovemuffin on May 9, 2008 at 3:28 pm
“Shooting Blanks”
“They said my idea for a hidden gun slot was crazy, let’s see what they say now!”
“Fear my Mancannon!”
Posted by RevDotNed on May 9, 2008 at 3:31 pm
TransSpartan, more than meets the eye!
Posted by IsLaNd3r on May 9, 2008 at 3:34 pm
“Hold RB to reload… wait, what? How did you do that?”
Posted by T Robert T on May 9, 2008 at 3:34 pm
No, as a matter of fact, I do have a gun in my pants.
I’m not just handing out rifle-penises. It’s unethical.
Bungie quickly decided to take cod piece permutations out of the final game.
“It’s like having two cocks… if one of your cocks could kill someone.”
Although it proved completely impractical in every combat scenario, the entire team agreed that the Mjolnir mark VII armor was totally awesome.
Posted by Samurai on May 9, 2008 at 3:42 pm
“Mines bigger than yours.”
Hey, military engineers get bored too, you know.
Posted by american desi on May 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm
ill show mine if u show urs
its cocked and fully loaded
SHWING
Posted by NiTrOuS 343 on May 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm
That’s not what your dad meant about protection.
Posted by Seth on May 9, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I can haz AR chasity belt? plzzzzzz??
Posted by retinence on May 9, 2008 at 4:41 pm
In thefinal act of Red’s interpretive dance, EVERYONE noticed he was not circumcised.
Posted by Valentine on May 9, 2008 at 4:57 pm
okay…I got one more and a long one too!
As with all ED drugs, there is a rare risk of an erection lasting longer than four hours. To avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical attention. Your Plasma Pistol or Mauler does not and will not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. In rare instances, men taking ED inhibitors reported a sudden decrease in hit accuracy or loss of vision in one or both eyes, or a sudden loss or decrease in hearing from a result of Spike Granades exploding 2 feet away, sometimes with ringing in the ears and dizziness. It is not possible to determine whether these events are related directly to these medicines or to other factors such us being a noob in this game. But If you experience any of these symptoms, stop taking ED inhibitors or log off Halo 3 and call a doctor right away.
Posted by ReleasetheMonk on May 9, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I bet you’d like to Assault this Rifle…..
Posted by p0rksta on May 9, 2008 at 5:21 pm
and thats when he realized his fly was open.
Posted by General Vagueness on May 9, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Upon further consideration, the UNSCDF decided to keep every approved idea for the Mark VII armor, except the combination kick-stand, AR and… how shall we say… “emotional inhibitor.”
Posted by ALTEX on May 9, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Carl was always bragging about his rifle. Little did everyone know, he was firing blanks.
Posted by TheJhouston on May 9, 2008 at 6:54 pm
This is why I’m hot
Posted by petetheduck on May 9, 2008 at 8:34 pm
“Notice anything strange about this picture? No? See that Spartan in the distance, under the pelican? He’s naked.”
Posted by UrsusArctos on May 9, 2008 at 8:44 pm
End product of a shotgun marraige.
Posted by antonio on May 9, 2008 at 10:17 pm
when a secret government wants a top secret weapon, Don’s life goes into hell. this years action movie has drama,”LISTEN TO ME OMELIA, DEYRE TRYING TO TAKE..MY.. ASSAULT RIFFUL!” *explosion* double the action! “OH NOE…GET DOWWUN!!” “brrrraaak”.triple the excitement, “GET DOWWUN AGAANE!! UURAAAGGGHH!! *booom* Arnold Schwarzenegger this summer is…My Big.Fat.Rifle. ooooo try to find where i refrenced this from. ooooo
incorrect grammar intended to be read much like the “govuhnator of cali” :D
Posted by aussie_spartan on May 10, 2008 at 12:37 am
“They say that men with big cars, houses or guns have a small penis. Now they just say cars or houses.”
Posted by JimmyC56 on May 10, 2008 at 3:34 am
“I’m unsure of whether I should make you use a condom or a silencer for that”
Posted by Crabbo on May 10, 2008 at 4:30 am
A sword in my back and a gun through my crotch….Thats the last time I say anything bad about a women.
Posted by Canada on May 10, 2008 at 5:27 am
Quote from Jarhead fits nicely :P
“This is my Rifle, Without it I am Nothing!”
OOORR
“Philadelphia Project, MkII”
Posted by John CB on May 10, 2008 at 7:18 am
“Oh, I know what the ladies like…”
Posted by Ragingterror on May 10, 2008 at 9:23 am
“Baby, I TOLD you I wasn’t shooting blanks…”
Posted by JESUS on May 10, 2008 at 10:52 am
Sick and tired of having to recite that chant every time they called their rifles by another, shorter name, the Marine recruits got…creative.
Posted by JESUS on May 10, 2008 at 10:54 am
Kurt discovers why disabling the Telefrag option is a bad idea.
Posted by xp194 on May 10, 2008 at 1:09 pm
“Do you think he’s compensating for something?”
Posted by Tangero on May 10, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Try Gunzyte for all of your manly needs! Best results if used daily.
Posted by Morpheus on May 10, 2008 at 4:22 pm
“Push baby, push! Here it comes! I see the head!!! Or i….is it a…………barrell?? What the hell??”
Posted by TrueHalo3oCOM on May 10, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Just be happy it isnt a sniper rifle.
Posted by TrueHalo3oCOM on May 10, 2008 at 5:16 pm
The new way to meet chicks online
Posted by TrueHalo3oCOM on May 10, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Master Chief – His favorite Gun
\ /
One messed up Child.
Posted by TrueHalo3oCOM on May 10, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Pornography Mods!
Posted by Rift on May 10, 2008 at 10:13 pm
I didn’t take any Bungie prescribed Viagra, honest!
Posted by Twiztid Pinoy on May 10, 2008 at 10:54 pm
dunno how many people will understand this, but by the pose, i just hafta say:
“DOMOO!!! HAADO GAY DESU!!! FOOOOOOO!!!
Posted by Tombo on May 11, 2008 at 12:14 am
“Hey ladies, Lets forge”
Posted by Numskull on May 11, 2008 at 1:04 am
Quato’s Gun Lives!
Posted by JESUS on May 11, 2008 at 11:03 am
You think it’s bad now, wait till you see what he has to do in order to shoot.
Posted by soulofaqua on May 11, 2008 at 2:25 pm
@ Twiztid Pinoy
Don’t worry, I know what you say.. but wished I had not!
Posted by soulofaqua on May 11, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Look how far I can get my gun up it!
Posted by soulofaqua on May 11, 2008 at 2:27 pm
And men thought they love their guns alot
Posted by soulofaqua on May 11, 2008 at 2:28 pm
BS Angel has taken her love for Halo related stuff to far
Posted by bs angel on May 11, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Really? I think it went just far enough. ;)
Posted by WazzizFace on May 11, 2008 at 4:29 pm
“Wanna see me reload it!?”
Posted by Guardians on May 12, 2008 at 2:36 am
Girl: “Where’s the safety for this thing? I’m not risking it!”
–
Sperms: “If nothing else, the flashlight’s handy.”
Posted by Mental Corgi on May 12, 2008 at 6:19 am
When it comes to protecting your crotch, no cup is too ridiculous.
Posted by Mental Corgi on May 12, 2008 at 6:21 am
Yeah, so Doc, it…uh…it burns when I pee.
Posted by Mental Corgi on May 12, 2008 at 6:25 am
High Explosive ammo just took on a whole new meaning.
Posted by Mental Corgi on May 12, 2008 at 6:26 am
Imagine what his kids look like.
Posted by Mental Corgi on May 12, 2008 at 6:28 am
You gotta wonder what the recoil feels like on that thing.
Posted by soulofaqua on May 12, 2008 at 10:18 am
Oh… My… God BS Angel how naughty, what will your man think when he sees that?
Posted by wolfy on May 13, 2008 at 9:00 am
that is why we don’t teabag. you can catch an achievement from it