Friday Caption Fun, Round 7
May 9, 2008 154 Comments
I woke up this morning, made the startling realization that today was Friday, and breathed a gigantic sigh of relief. I’ve had a busy week so my electrifying plans for weekend include climbing into bed and not coming out until the alarm goes off on Monday morning. Exciting, I know. Before I bury myself in the sea of blankets that is already calling my name, let’s revisit last week’s rather humorous captions.
- “That fateful weekend it wasn’t the EXP that Bungie mistakenly doubled.” (petetheduck)
- “You should see what he’s packing UNDER his armor.” (-S-)
- “Dude! That Hayabusa armor is AWESOME!” (Seth)
- “Size DOES matter!” (soulofaqua)
- “Caboose from RVB didn’t realize the tank was cheating on him until he saw her first kid.” (Michael Dardis)
- “You know what? I’m sick of this ‘the H3 battle rifle isn’t strong enoughhh’ whining – I hope you enjoy the new PERMANENT game update, you MLG jerks” – Frankie (-S-)
- “You should see the sniper rife…” (NsU Soldier)
- “Bungie’s last-ditch effort to overtake CoD4 on the XBL charts.” (R2-JL)
Bungie is going to need an even bigger last-ditch effort now that GTA IV is out. Ouch! While they worry about the bigger and better of things, let’s look at another funny screenshot. I named this one “Shooting Blanks”, but what is your witty caption for it?
Author: sputnik410
“Go Go Gadget…..uhhh……Rifle!!”
“Shock Trooper carries a whooole new meaning.”
(also…i have a lil picture by my name….where did that come from?)
The new GOLIATH-VI armor made for the well-endowed under us.
Now with extra spotlight for searching you’re way to the Gspot!
Negro’s need armor too, you know!
Because fangirls have needs too!
@ Mendicantbias00:
You noticed a feature that WordPress just rolled out earlier this week. Apparently there are various options of random icons to choose from (or none at all like how it used to be). She was unsure of whether she would use it or not but after getting my feedback, she said she would certainly stick with it as of right now. I did a search just for your comments and while the images are randomly generated, yours is consistent as long as you post under the usual username/password.
Steel plated condom complete with flashlight! (Eww.)
“Now that’s a boomstick”
(this one goes with the pick-up lines)
‘when i see you i put away my assult rifle and pull out my sniper.’
“Is that an assault rifle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
*Red Spartan* – So what’s your name, darlin’?
*Off Screen* – Kate. What’s yours?
*Red Spartan* – Sex Machine. Pleased to meet you, Kate.
p.s. Thanks soulofaqua!
I got myself a little custom gravatar now. =)
You thought YOU were happy to see me!
Awe, beat me to it Salen.
;)
“Permission to enter rear entrance”
“Time to finish the fight”
“A Spartan must utilize every part of his body”
Spartan Condoms
This is my caption
Hey,wana ride my mancannon,baby?
“He’s really showing us what a man with an assault rifle in his pants can do.”
“Bungie’s take on a “Last Stand” feature didn’t really turn out as planned.”
I don’t want to stray too far off-topic here, but I have uploaded my own avatar to my WordPress account but it is not showing up anywhere. Anyone care to explain? soulofaqua?
Now that’s how you shoot from the hip
Red always got into trouble showing off his ‘trick shots’ for the ladies
Now THAT is just ridiculous, honestly who mixes the Katana with the ODST helmet, I mean really
*Michael McDonald voice* “Look what I can do!”
Bungie’s latest feature: ‘Triple Wielding’ resulted in many, many lawsuits
^ killtacular
I’m ready for you this week, soulofaqua!
The UNSC’s attempt to create the Mark VII armor with built in defensive systems did not go as planned.
Tucker defected to the reds after Sarge promised to upgrade his armor.
Good thing its not a Spartan Laser, because i wouldnt want the ladies to know im pointing at them!
After 1 day of being hired to re-design the latest MJOLNIR armor, Tony Stark was let go.
“Look, who cares HOW it happened, just stop snickering and take me to the ER dammit!”
“Hello, 911? Yeah this is Quagmire again…uh huh…no its in a rifle this time.”
p.s.
I don’t want to stray too far off-topic here, but I have uploaded my own avatar to my WordPress account but it is not showing up anywhere. Anyone care to explain? soulofaqua?
ausqb, clear your cache, thats what I had to do and it showed up instantly. Also make sure that your gravatar email is the same one you use to post here.
=)
The UNSC is running tests for a weapon that can be concealed under the armor incase a spartan is captured. The first few models seemed slightly too…..bulky
“This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for…. oh, wait a second….”
Sweet. Thanks a lot mendicant.
“I told you what lying would do…”
“Trust me guys…you DON’T wanna know where the other half of the rifle is stuck”
I’m tellin’ ya, that thing has a mind of its own.
“Son, that’s not what I meant when I said we’d be using Assault Rifles for protection…”
“that’s not a natural formation”
This leaked screenshot from an upcoming Halo 3 expansion pack shows yet another Bungie-only armor permeation.
It’s not the size I’m jealous of–it’s the built-in flashlight. That would sure come in handy..
“The weird part? He was using the female Spartan voice…”
Move over Trojan Man, here comes Spartan Man !!
Da,ta,ta,Daaaaa
With so many people complaining about only being able to hold two weapons at a time, Bungie rolled out the next AutoUpdate.
“You should have seen the expression on the guy he was shooting at!”
*interrupts killtacular*
“I’m hit!”
“Where?”
“Even though it freed his hands for flamboyant gestures, recoil was never factored into Donut’s Handless Armor/Rifle Mod design”
i guess AR stands for “Anatomic Replacement”
“What he did at the Halo 3 after party will echo through his life for years to come.”
In the past it was honorable to impale yourself on your sword to avoid dishonoring your family. Simmons (from RvB) always goes the extra mile for Sarge.
It may look like he has a big one but that’s just his armor.
“After seeing this image, Cortana permanently deactivated the Mark-VI’s built-in dream-recorder.”
Hey, look what I can do!
“The MA-5C Assault Crotch. Battle hardened, for your armor piercing pleasure.”
From the makers of the elephant slip comes the new AR-Mjolnir armor because you like to show off.
When Ron Jeremy started playing Halo 3, bungie decided to give him a special armor of himself… he asked why they did not use a sniper rifle.
“He’s coming this way!! Quick, someone deploy a power-drain!!”
“Another piece of equipment Bungie cut in development”
..that’s probably enough of these ;)
He’s a real lady killer
The new assault rifle placement worked well against female but failed to shoot high enough when against male.
Bungie’s answer against femme fatales
“Say hello to my little friend” :)
This is my rifle, this is my gun. This one’s for pleasure, this one’s for fun.
Frank’s attempt to bicycle-kick his rifle failed miserably…
“Excuse me while I whip this out”
You should consult with your doctor if:
1) Erection lasts longer than two hours.
2) Awkward shapes form.
3) Uncontrollable discharges
Because of the gene modification given to some ODSTs, the use of Viagra after service came with an unexpected side effect.
“Come on, keep it in your Titanium-A, black-matted, cybernetically-melded, hydrostatic-gel-incapsulated, energy-shielded, multi-trillion dollar pants, please.”
..be weird if it was Kelly.
It looks like that piercing eleven year old that’s been screaming through his mic all game FINALLY got a double kill.
“Yes, I have my concealed weapons permit.”
“Schwing!” (Wayne’s World anyone?)
“Enlarge your manhood,” the email said, “please the ladies,” the email said, it didn’t say anything about how to keep your balance!!
I got charged with “Assult” once…
#1, 22, 24, 32, and 38 second one, were my favorites!!
Now featuring The Mark VI chastity belt!
“*Michael McDonald voice* “Look what I can do!””
I vote for this one. :)
“You should see the sniper rife…” (NsU Soldier)
“Behold the future of Humpday at Bungie Studios”
Talk about penatration…
Ladies like…the big guns…
The new armor is perfect for when then enemy catches you during your call of nature.
You should see the shape of the ammo!
since bungie’s new modpack for halo 3 the term “headshot” was changed to “bukkake”
Bungies new addition to Assult
Look ma, no hands!
When Cortana saw the latest augmentation to the Master Chief, she stayed on the Cairo’s mainframe for weeks.
1)
“Red vs Blue has rejected many character ideas that fans sent in.
“CrotchPump” was one of the toughest to let go though. ”
2)
“When I get that “not-so-fresh feeling”, I use BULLETDOUCHE. New, from the makers of ALWAYS with wings.”
3)
Who says Spartans are tougher than ODSTs???
You may “THINK” thats water under his feet…
This happened 2 hours after Red saw ‘Grindhouse’
“Oh, I know what the ladies like.”
One of the best lines of Halo 2.
You should see how he reloads it…
“send me out with a bang”
Jerry should never have bought used Stormtrooper armor.
This weapon has no safety
Voltron’s mysterious 6th ‘member’
When Sarge says he has a boner for murder, he ain’t kiddin’
Oh yeah, I can fly.
It’s plenty big, but how’s the… uh… “reload time”?
THIS is the weapon under my armor! Surprised? Cos I’m gonna shoot you to sex heaven
This is my rife its for fun not fighting
This is my rifle,
but also my gun!
It’s not only for shooting,
its also for fun!
The moment he found out he no longer had balls
watch out spartan orgasms ahead!
Check out the new Alien-weapon hybrid! It bursts from your chest firing!
Bah-Bah-Bah BALLS OF STEEL!
‘If this is still here in 3 hours, I’m going to see a doctor!’
Hey guys! Like my new military-grade titanium codpiece? It even has a flashlight for when I need to pee in the dark…
Apparently this is suppose to help my balancing issues…. its not working.
“Spray and pray.”
“Shooting Blanks”
“They said my idea for a hidden gun slot was crazy, let’s see what they say now!”
“Fear my Mancannon!”
TransSpartan, more than meets the eye!
“Hold RB to reload… wait, what? How did you do that?”
No, as a matter of fact, I do have a gun in my pants.
I’m not just handing out rifle-penises. It’s unethical.
Bungie quickly decided to take cod piece permutations out of the final game.
“It’s like having two cocks… if one of your cocks could kill someone.”
Although it proved completely impractical in every combat scenario, the entire team agreed that the Mjolnir mark VII armor was totally awesome.
“Mines bigger than yours.”
Hey, military engineers get bored too, you know.
ill show mine if u show urs
its cocked and fully loaded
SHWING
That’s not what your dad meant about protection.
I can haz AR chasity belt? plzzzzzz??
In thefinal act of Red’s interpretive dance, EVERYONE noticed he was not circumcised.
okay…I got one more and a long one too!
As with all ED drugs, there is a rare risk of an erection lasting longer than four hours. To avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical attention. Your Plasma Pistol or Mauler does not and will not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. In rare instances, men taking ED inhibitors reported a sudden decrease in hit accuracy or loss of vision in one or both eyes, or a sudden loss or decrease in hearing from a result of Spike Granades exploding 2 feet away, sometimes with ringing in the ears and dizziness. It is not possible to determine whether these events are related directly to these medicines or to other factors such us being a noob in this game. But If you experience any of these symptoms, stop taking ED inhibitors or log off Halo 3 and call a doctor right away.
I bet you’d like to Assault this Rifle…..
and thats when he realized his fly was open.
Upon further consideration, the UNSCDF decided to keep every approved idea for the Mark VII armor, except the combination kick-stand, AR and… how shall we say… “emotional inhibitor.”
Carl was always bragging about his rifle. Little did everyone know, he was firing blanks.
This is why I’m hot
“Notice anything strange about this picture? No? See that Spartan in the distance, under the pelican? He’s naked.”
End product of a shotgun marraige.
when a secret government wants a top secret weapon, Don’s life goes into hell. this years action movie has drama,”LISTEN TO ME OMELIA, DEYRE TRYING TO TAKE..MY.. ASSAULT RIFFUL!” *explosion* double the action! “OH NOE…GET DOWWUN!!” “brrrraaak”.triple the excitement, “GET DOWWUN AGAANE!! UURAAAGGGHH!! *booom* Arnold Schwarzenegger this summer is…My Big.Fat.Rifle. ooooo try to find where i refrenced this from. ooooo
incorrect grammar intended to be read much like the “govuhnator of cali” :D
“They say that men with big cars, houses or guns have a small penis. Now they just say cars or houses.”
“I’m unsure of whether I should make you use a condom or a silencer for that”
A sword in my back and a gun through my crotch….Thats the last time I say anything bad about a women.
Quote from Jarhead fits nicely :P
“This is my Rifle, Without it I am Nothing!”
OOORR
“Philadelphia Project, MkII”
“Oh, I know what the ladies like…”
“Baby, I TOLD you I wasn’t shooting blanks…”
Sick and tired of having to recite that chant every time they called their rifles by another, shorter name, the Marine recruits got…creative.
Kurt discovers why disabling the Telefrag option is a bad idea.
“Do you think he’s compensating for something?”
Try Gunzyte for all of your manly needs! Best results if used daily.
“Push baby, push! Here it comes! I see the head!!! Or i….is it a…………barrell?? What the hell??”
Just be happy it isnt a sniper rifle.
The new way to meet chicks online
Master Chief – His favorite Gun
\ /
One messed up Child.
Pornography Mods!
I didn’t take any Bungie prescribed Viagra, honest!
dunno how many people will understand this, but by the pose, i just hafta say:
“DOMOO!!! HAADO GAY DESU!!! FOOOOOOO!!!
“Hey ladies, Lets forge”
Quato’s Gun Lives!
You think it’s bad now, wait till you see what he has to do in order to shoot.
@ Twiztid Pinoy
Don’t worry, I know what you say.. but wished I had not!
Look how far I can get my gun up it!
And men thought they love their guns alot
BS Angel has taken her love for Halo related stuff to far
Really? I think it went just far enough. ;)
“Wanna see me reload it!?”
Girl: “Where’s the safety for this thing? I’m not risking it!”
–
Sperms: “If nothing else, the flashlight’s handy.”
When it comes to protecting your crotch, no cup is too ridiculous.
Yeah, so Doc, it…uh…it burns when I pee.
High Explosive ammo just took on a whole new meaning.
Imagine what his kids look like.
You gotta wonder what the recoil feels like on that thing.
Oh… My… God BS Angel how naughty, what will your man think when he sees that?
that is why we don’t teabag. you can catch an achievement from it