The always entertaining XerxdeeJ over at the Tied the Leader blog did a humorous little rant yesterday about those annoying gold bars that periodically crop up under certain Halo 3 ranks. It reminded me of my own personal struggle that I once had with those Chevron bars. While he views them as a mark of shame, I see them as a disastrous fashion faux pas.
I don’t follow the Halo 3 ranks that closely. I can’t tell you what rank I am, I can’t tell you what rank I will be next, and I can’t tell you how many wins I need until I rank up. I play simply for the love of the game so I tend to disregard certain particulars to keep it at a fun level. Rank and experience are two of those things that I ignore. While I yearn for that ever elusive win, I don’t care about the number or symbol next to my name.
One evening I was playing with some buddies having a grand ol’ time when that familiar sound rang loudly in my ears and a new picture bombarded my screen. Seeing the new rank caused a sudden intake of breath along with a very familiar phrase to come screeching out of my mouth. WHAT. THE. FUCK. My new rank had silver and gold in it. What is that horribly ugly atrocity?! This is the point that XerxdeeJ would be lamenting his n00b status. This is the point that I was repulsed by the very big fashion no-no I was now displaying.
I would never wear jewelry that mixed silver and gold (if you are wearing jewelry like this, I must insist you take it off, burn it immediately, and repent one hundred times to the fashion goddesses), and I certainly don’t want a Halo rank that does that either. I was so incredibly traumatized from the appalling appearance of my rank that I spent the next two hours in between every single game modifying my avatar. I ended up changing my avatar colors to having gold and silver accents, despite the complete and utter tastelessness of it, just to have something to coordinate with the rank so it wouldn’t be quite as bad. I figured if everything matched, it would help disguise the true ugliness of having those colors paired together.
Thankfully that rank only lasted about a week. As soon as the gold bars were gone, I went back to my usual beautiful avatar that color coordinates spectacularly. I have been happy ever since.
This is my current rank. It is quite stunning with the single star and two matching bars underneath. I don’t want more stars. I don’t want more bars. I don’t want any gawdy gold. I like it just like this. If I am close to having Chevron bars again, please don’t tell me. I would rather live in an ignorant state of bliss for as long as possible.
Posted by Sigafoos on March 13, 2008 at 11:56 am
They could at least have the decency to make it white gold. Come on.
Posted by Stuicide on March 13, 2008 at 12:19 pm
You’ve got several hundred more wins to go until you get the Gold Major bars.
What sucks is that it’s inevitable that we will all have gold at some point.
Posted by -S- on March 13, 2008 at 1:03 pm
“I don’t follow the Halo 3 ranks that closely. I can’t tell you what rank I am, I can’t tell you what rank I will be next, and I can’t tell you how many wins I need until I rank up. I play simply for the love of the game so I tend to disregard certain particulars to keep it at a fun level. Rank and experience are two of those things that I ignore. While I yearn for that ever elusive win, I don’t care about the number or symbol next to my name.”
Hm, that’s really interesting Angel – I’ve never read that book; “Things n00bs say” <33 jk lol
http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Rank_(Halo_3)
there’s your official h3 rank fashion guide – pump it up and get to a level 35, angel! You’ll hit Commander, and won’t have to worry about coming close to those hideous Gold Bars that would make Tim Gunn hang his head in shame, ever again.
Posted by Xor1an on March 13, 2008 at 2:02 pm
A while ago I clawed my way up to 31 in ranked Team Slayer… and I think I’ve slipped to 28 since then. I’m approaching my second “bar of shame” beneath my single, somewhat lonely star. I’ve gotten my Team Doubles up to 26, but it hasn’t risen any higher since.
I know you and XerxdeeJ are right, and I shouldn’t care. I should just play and have fun. And I do have fun, but I wouldn’t mind winning a little more often.
I wonder if there is a clan or community for not just playing together and having fun, but teaching each other tactics and strategy. A community where people would work together to analyze what works and what doesn’t, and help each player improve. A group where the more experienced players mentor the less experienced.
Posted by -S- on March 13, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Hey, Xor1an, I don’t know if you’re on the forums ’round here (i honestly can’t remember) otherwise i would’ve just sent you a message, but if you’re looking to improve your game, I could lend you a hand? don’t wanna pat myself too hard, but if anyone cares I’m a level 50, a tournament player (from all 3 halos), and I love to discuss what works and what doesn’t in terms of strats and play – on a pretty detailed level. Message me if you’re on the forums, or if you’re not on there for some reason, stalk Angel for my email address.
Posted by mendicantbias00 on March 13, 2008 at 2:47 pm
“I wonder if there is a clan or community for not just playing together and having fun, but teaching each other tactics and strategy. A community where people would work together to analyze what works and what doesn’t, and help each player improve. A group where the more experienced players mentor the less experienced.”
Xor1an, I would be very interested in such a clan/group, I dont know if you meant that you would be interested in starting such a group, or perhaps joining a group like that. But I am sure that there are many people who would like the opportunity to learn from more experienced players. Myself being one of them.
Posted by bs angel on March 13, 2008 at 2:54 pm
-S- speaks the truth (about the forums, not about stalking me). There are lots of communities listed there, all which are awesome groups which stress respect and sportsmanship before the win. I do believe that is the only part of the forum I have made viewable to people who aren’t members, simply because I believe in the importance of belonging to a solid community. (Forum link is in at the top of the sidebar)
Posted by Ragingterror on March 13, 2008 at 3:23 pm
If I don’t get up to 35 soon, I’ll have to deal with this as well.
What to do, what to do? >_<
Posted by ausqb on March 13, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I really hate those bars, especially under any stars (major, commander, colonel). But the way I’m playing in Lone Wolves, coupled with the terrible lag I always experience, I don’t think I’ll be able to get up to colonel rank before I get my first bar.
Posted by Zachari LaCombe on March 13, 2008 at 6:51 pm
If anyone has a bit of trouble of getting up to about 35 or 40, I can help a bit. I’m not too shoddy of a player.
Posted by MERLIN on March 14, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Although I do agree that it is a fashion no-no, the gold bars to me arent a sign of a bad player at all, in fact they’re quite the opposite. They’re the mark of an experienced player. I know that when I jump into matchmaking, and get some random staff captain on my team, I know he/she might not lead our team in kills, or have all 3 flag caps, but at least I know that they probably know the maps and gametypes very well, and I like having a teammate like that.
We’ll all have gold bars eventually, so it’s not a big deal to me.
Unless you get that 50, then you have gold wreaths and silver stars. yippee.
Posted by orphicdragon on April 20, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Roflcopter! It seems the gold bars are the complaint of the moment in the Halo universe. I add my own recent forum rant on the matter, just to help round out the bitching.
The thing is, I don’t really care what my level is. I’m keeping up and doing fine against the level 40’s for the most part. What blows bloody chicken chunks is if I’m playing with randoms. The whole F’in game is whining about the $#!++y staff captain being a retard and how much I suck. I was in a game the other night, I had 20 of the kills and the guy (I $#!t you not) with -1 is STILL giving me $#!t cuz we are losing. Ok, so I can mute him, but we are all aware that its the team that communicates that gets the advantage, and even if he is giving me hell about SC he is still relaying positional info.
I am VERY aware that there is no solution to random morons in matchmaking…I feel a good compromise is to gimme 2 incendiaries which, when used in a betrayal of a mouth breathing cousin humping philistine, as he runs headlong alone with the sniper and laser into an enemy stronghold, will cause HIM a 30 second respawn thus allowing me to kill some $#!t without him ‘nading my shields into oblivion and gain some positive kills.
I’m all about the solution, Imma giver…of 3rd degree burns MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Posted by Deadlock on February 22, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Rofl, Field Majors and Strike Commanders ftw