Friday Caption Fun

Previously our Friday procrastinate-until-you-can-sneak-out-of-work-early activities were Rorschach Inkblot Tests using the global heatmaps from Halo 3 as our images. The answers always varied from deeply insightful to side splitting hilarious, and I loved reading through them every week. Unfortunately there are only so many maps and we happily burned out way through them. That means it’s time for a new Friday activity.

I spend a decent amount of time these days scouring through screenshots for halo3screenshots.com. I find myself coming across ones that are so funny, they seem to be positively begging for a caption. Thus begins Friday Caption Fun. I’ll give you a screenshot, you come up with a caption (or 42 if you are NsU Soldier!). Just like with the Rorschach Inkblot Tests, I’ll do a recap on next week’s post of some of the funnier submissions.

Here is this week’s screenshot, which was taken by AusQB. I call it “oh shit” but I know you can do better. Hit me with your best captions!

halo 3 screenshot

118 Responses to Friday Caption Fun

  1. Algebra Cow says:

    Come on. i wish i was born with telekinesis

  2. Yanni Oblivion says:

    If we are gonna play baseball with plasma grenades and gravity hammers then the least you could do it pitch the ball lower…*BOOM*

  3. “its soooooo…..pretty…..”

  4. Peniamina says:

    It is mine and i shall call it sticky *BOOM* Bad sticky!

  5. Bob? Is that you? Or is it Doug?

  6. S@ndm@n says:

    Blue glow blinds my eyes
    And illuminates my world
    Get this thing off m-

    A death haiku for whomever the victim is.

  7. fester113 says:

    Wow, look at the pretty light! ! ! !

    One wonders if going the other direction when deciding in school on either Chef at Che’ Manufique, or Universal Merchant Marine, would have been a better choice.

  8. Skwiz says:

    “The bastard son of Guilty Spark just keeps following me around calling me ‘Mommy’!”

  9. Gorgo says:

    “ohhhhh we have to stik together!”
    ” sorry honey don’t have time! (i hope….)”

  10. God I really hate Grunts!

  11. snorkle256 says:

    “If you can read this you are too close.”

  12. Pundarquartis says:

    “Oooh… shiny blue thing!”

  13. -S- says:

    Hey – you lied! this thing doesn’t have my name on it!

  14. ausqb says:

    “There is no grenade”

  15. “I’M NOT GRIF!”

  16. the light show says:

    see cortana, i CAN move things with my mind…

  17. wolfy says:

    “Bob? Is that you? Or is it Doug?”
    oh i get it

    it looks soft, and blue…please be soft *death*

    OR

    i should’ve been in the Martix

  18. RedRaptor says:

    “Oh…hello there!

  19. RedRaptor says:

    Red vs Blue…ball?

  20. “But…but I had the Sword!!!”

  21. 343′s much smaller, much more aggressive cousin.

  22. ^ that one is from my buddy =D

  23. Socket29 says:

    viagra.

  24. Sigafoos says:

    This is one realistic Magic Eye.

  25. Kato says:

    “Crap! Which ones are sticky: the grey or the pretty blue ones? Cause if it’s the bouncy kind, I’m fine, but if it sticks I’m screwed. Damnit, why can’t I remember this kind of thing when I need to! I shouldn’t have slept through so much of Basic Training. I could have been a good student. But no, I had to be known as the ‘Party Spartan’ and be out all night, every night…”

  26. Skinnydude says:

    “Well would you look at that, it isn’t a spider after all.”

    Blatant RvB referencing is always good =P

  27. Mid7night says:

    Hello. My father’s name was Andy, I’m here to make him proud.

  28. Skwiz says:

    Following the RvB reference

    Little Spartan soldier
    Sat on a turret,
    Sniping the noobs far away.
    Along came a spider
    Who sat down beside him
    And blew Spartan Soldier away.

  29. pooberry says:

    fuck.

  30. FoxmanFX says:

    Dodge this!

    One frame away from death.

    Stupid gru…

  31. Und34dMonk3y says:

    Hmm. I don’t remember throwing that.

  32. tyler says:

    this is for using my sister the wrong way aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  33. Bootsman says:

    “So.. You must be 343′s little brother?”

  34. ZZoMBiE13 says:

    “Bob? Is that you? Or is it Doug?”

    Well I know my favorite. :)

  35. Sarge Tomzilla says:

    Why, hello mister spider!

    ….you’re looking quite….glowy….today…

  36. Thought you’d like that one ZZoMBiE13!

    I Love Bob and Doug!

  37. I’m so goooooooooooooooooonnnnnneeee!

  38. SpaceGhost2K says:

    “Goodness, gracious, great balls of @#%&!!!”

  39. discopete says:

    “i think i love you”
    “you make me feel blue”
    “promise you won’t hurt me?”

    those should be pretty good

  40. SidearmS says:

    My quote:

    “I swear, I don’t know who you are, I never touched Guilty Spark that way, EVER!”

    He looks like he is trying to explain it to the sphere.

    Nice to see the “XBox Case Cleaning” article is getting some show. It was a good thing to post.

    XBox 360 – It’s the weekend!

  41. yayap_the_grunt says:

    “Ooh hello. You’re a pwetty little thing aren’t you. I shall name you George, and I will pet you, and feed you, and we shall be beeeest frie – ” “BOOM!”

  42. Dracc says:

    WWJCD?

    What Would Jackie Chan Do?

  43. Lovemuffin says:

    AHHH SPIDER!!!

    and

    aaaaaaawwww………crap

  44. ReleasetheMonk says:

    “Well, screw peripheral vision!”

  45. “Pokeball Go!”

    Have a good weekend everyone – See you guys on Matchmaking!

  46. Retinence says:

    “Stop looking at me!! *Awkward*”

  47. Raulboy says:

    From Snorkle256- correction: If you can read this, it’s too close…

  48. Buddhist says:

    You’re cold imbracing glow,
    Illuminates my day,
    Whenever you’re around,
    My shield-stats blink OK,
    And yet this screenshot goes to prove,
    That true love ‘aint so true,
    You may think you’ve won ‘nade…

    …No…

    For I am stuck on you!

  49. Rosco-128 says:

    Hmmm… what’s this?… “Covbro PlasmaDeath playcentre. Helping Covenant children experience the joy of leaning since the 3rd age of reclaimation. (Warning! may contain small parts. Not suitable for children under 2 or Grunts)”

  50. Buddhist says:

    Shit, I spelt “You’re” wrong in the first sentence… Bloody hell, I double checked it as well!

  51. alex says:

    Is it a spider?

  52. Apostrophe says:

    I’m torn between “Do not want!” and “Gah! Get it away!”

  53. SI-117 says:

    The Adjutant Reflex emblem is on the plasma grenade! I have to put this in my blog. Wait. . . Oh, Crap. . .

  54. SI-117 says:

    This is the last time I let Bill help me learn to cross my eyes. . .

  55. Gears of Pie says:

    *Smashes up d-pad button* QUICKLY! Change to a monitor! CHANGE TO A DAMN MONITOR!!!

  56. Acclamator says:

    “oh cool, i never noticed that little sun on it. i wonder what that” KABOOM

  57. Shit. Did I leave the stove on?

  58. Jim 028 says:

    Oh bloody hell!

    or

    Oh bugger!

  59. Radiago says:

    Hello, My name is 343 DPS.

  60. Dan the Stick says:

    Oh shit…my eyeball’s not supposed to be there…

  61. Dan the Stick says:

    JUST THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!

  62. radiantpenguin says:

    Calculating trajectory. . . wind speed. . . take into account Spartan reflexes. . . carry the one. . . yeah. . . it’s gonna hit me.

  63. jb84 says:

    Heh, Angel, “oh shit” is the first thing that came to my mind too.

  64. Ryu says:

    Blue ball : “HEYYYYYY!”

    Master Chief: “NAVIIIIIIIIIIIII!!”

  65. SF Legend says:

    And he heads it into the back of the net!

  66. spartan013nl says:

    its bleu … no wait! YELLOOOOOOOOOW

    *gotta love monthy python. XD. and, *

    dealing with dyslexia in your life:
    1: read things up close.

  67. Impervium says:

    “I said I was sorry! I only missed the toilet for like a second!”

    OR

    “The more immediatte consequences of looking at the sun.”

    OR

    *braces for explosion*
    *no explosion*
    “Laaaaaag!!!!”

    ~I~

  68. madBOX20 says:

    “welcome to my file share”

  69. Pingback: Top Posts « WordPress.com

  70. SidearmS says:

    My 2nd Quote:

    “No longer connected to XBox Live”

    XBox 360 – That WOULD rule with the notification logo across the bottom…

  71. Alpha Zombicus says:

    ” I am 434 Tiny Blue Ball, Monitor of Instalation 0- BOOM”

  72. dopey says:

    ah, a spider

    *referance to red vs blue.*

  73. Z3R0OneOneSe7en says:

    My God Cortana You gotten Fat..

    OR

    My God Spark Stay in the dyer a lil too long?

  74. DragonFire says:

    LOOK! SOMETHING SHINY!!!

  75. Roflcopter19 says:

    If you can read this, bye bye!

  76. Shaun55555 says:

    Sooo…. you from around here?

  77. K17 says:

    “Oh, it’s addressed to occupant!”

  78. Jenny says:

    “Happy feeling gone.”

  79. “Does my helmet look okay?”

  80. Azrael says:

    “Oh, and he’s hit by the pitch. You never like to see THAT kind of sportsmanship.”

  81. Darthmagneto says:

    “You see doc, I knew something was wrong with me when plasma grenades began shooting out of my face.”

  82. DerFreishutz says:

    Player 1 uses a Poke-Ball on the wild Master Chief!

  83. WortWortWort says:

    Is that a plasma grenade or are you happy to see me?

  84. Havok Se7en says:

    ” ! “

  85. newguy2445 says:

    ‘Screwed:
    The feeling you get when knowing you are going to die’

    ‘And then there was boom’

    ‘Never under-estimate balls’

    ‘Balls, no longer man’s best friend’

    ‘Why Hallo Thar’

    ‘It was then, that the Spartan realised the other Spartans weren’t throwing lollies at him, for him to eat’

  86. uberscvhveinen says:

    My God, it’s full of stars!

  87. Valnar300 says:

    “The Eye of Sauron sure looks different after some Visine”

  88. Lazy Assailant says:

    Johnny knew he shouldn’t have picked up the sniper when he found there was a was a 9 year old recruit on his team, but he did it anyway…

    A subtle commentary upon noobs who think the sniper is their birthright XD

  89. Lazy Assailant says:

    Or perhaps
    “STUPID BUNGIE U NUBZ FIX T3H STIKIZZZ!!!

  90. Lazy Assailant says:

    Damn…if only I had let Donut wax my armor…

  91. Grunt2552 says:

    Grenade: Hello, I am 343 Guilty Spark, Monitor of Instal…
    Red: Dude, This weed is awesum….

  92. Lafe says:

    Guilty Spark learns the ugly truth about steroids…that it shrinks your ball!

  93. NsU Soldier says:

    Here’s a few:

    1) I spy with my little eye…something blue.

    2) Not the face! Anywhere but the face!

    3) Plasma: Bet you can’t stick me.
    Spartan: You’re on.

    4) Plasma: Someone needs a hug!

    5) Why hello there blue fairy, can I be a real boy?

  94. Peniamina says:

    my first one needs to be adjusted it should be

    “I shall call him sticky and he shall be mine, my sticky” *BOOM* “bad sticky!”

  95. nate says:

    just imagine what his face looks like under his helmet

  96. James says:

    Botheration

  97. viraneth says:

    New for 2008. Pocket 343 Guilty Spark.

  98. I can see light at the end of a long, dark tunnel!

  99. Dan the Stick says:

    Hey…this isn’t candy!

  100. soulofaqua says:

    I say, that is a jolly looking ball you got there!

  101. stavie says:

    “only 1337 players get stuck in the face”

  102. sander says:

    caution: keep this product away from bad-ass spartans

  103. WC Snaks says:

    1. Acquire stickies.
    2. Get into a match on Valhalla.
    3. Throw a random stick.
    4.?????
    5. Priceless expression on a screenshot=PROFIT!

  104. Shortyman28 says:

    Blue- (beep!!!)

    Red – “WTF!!!”

    Killer – ” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! ”

    (more evil laugh)

  105. Falco LX says:

    Dude what’s wrong with the color on my TV, it’s bleeding blue everywhere.

  106. Peniamina says:

    not sure if this has been done

    Xbox 360 – £299.99
    Halo 3 – £39.99
    Xbox Live 12 month subscription- £39.99
    Theater Mode – Priceless

  107. Feudalscorpion says:

    Its a miracle I can see the light!

  108. Babamthegrunt says:

    “Man these new T4 mage shoulders are wierd”
    A nice WoW joke for all of yeah :)

  109. letmelive4sh0 says:

    LLOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKK…. A BLUUUUUUUUUUUEEE SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIDER!11!!!!!1!!!1!!!1!

  110. John CB says:

    Hey, you look exactly like that Guilty Spark guy. Except your smaller. And you have different colours. And there’s no scary eye thing.

  111. yankeyhotel says:

    “I had fun once, and this is nothing like that.”

  112. Sharkcheater says:

    Why, Cortana you’ve gotten Fat!

  113. e-pro says:

    “secret telekinetic powers…… this would be a great time to show yourself”

    or

    “Hey Bob, think fast”

  114. gibberish says:

    “Now that’s what I call a sticky situation!”

    (cue crickets)

  115. nam says:

    “If you can read this your are to close” *squints* “If you can read THIS, get the fuck out of the way!”

  116. Cailus says:

    Spartan: Aus, can you please not press that little arrow? Please? Pretty ple-

  117. aakova says:

    “PRETTY BLUE LIGHT!!!”

    or

    “Today’s Blue Light Special is PWNAGE!”

  118. maximalyst says:

    OK I just couldn’t resist this one, even though it’s ridiculously late….

    After Nintendo dropped Halo 3 for Wii, Bungie almost forgot to scrap the fairy.

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