Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

The current Xbox 360 video game library is stocked full of entertaining titles to play. Whether you like shooters, role-playing games, puzzle arcade titles, or any of the numerous genres in between, you are sure to have a handful of favorites that you routinely play. But have you ever had a favorite game and wish they had expanded on a particular element of it? These are my top 10 twists on video games I’d just love to get my hands on. Because they would be fun to play. Really.

Master Chief and Cortana : The Not So Love Story
This captivating RPG allows you to explore the side story of the relationship between Master Chief and Cortana. Playing as Master Chief, you will have to make crucial decisions that will forever alter your future with the main blue woman in your life. What will you do when Cortana actually decides to wake you, not really because she needs you but instead because she wants to “talk”? How will you react when you ask her for some much needed alone time but she refuses to leave your head? How will you deal with the sexual frustrations of carrying on a relationship with a woman who has no physical form or being? Will you choose lasting romance or will you finish the fight?

Madden ‘08 : Lots of Laundry
Football is a lot more than offense, defense, tackles, and touchdowns. There is an entire machine that faithfully runs behind the scenes in order to keep the Madden football wheel turning. A major piece of that puzzle is the division of employees that are in charge of making sure all the team members always have a clean uniform at their disposal. From the people who pick up the soiled laundry in the locker room to those who run the actual washers and dryers to the individuals that make sure the right jerseys go in the correct lockers, each and every one of them are an integral part of the team. Work your way up from locker room attendant to senior uniform folder. Manage your budget effectively by shopping for detergent and fabric softener only when it is on sale. Figure out what brand of bleach does the best job getting grass stains out. Make sure your players all have clean uniforms on game day and if you’re lucky, maybe they will renew your contract for another year.

Dead Rising : Yes, That’s a Weapon
Make familiar everyday items positively deadly in this entertaining “create your own weapon” game. In this sandbox style title that knows no boundaries, you can create whatever your demented mind can dream up. Start with the zombie basics by designing your own katana, sledge hammer, chain saw, firearm, and other standard weapons. Then let your imagination run wild by modifying a regular grocery cart into a shopping cart of death. Or make a lawn mower that will easily mow more than just your standard green grass. Get ready for the blood to fly as you make anything and everything to battle the herd of zombies that eagerly await your arrival. So what if you would never find these things in a mall? That is what you are there for, to design and put them there.

BioShock : Maintaining Rapture’s Water
A lot of work goes into maintaining an underwater city, although you wouldn’t know that from your interactions with the scavenging demented inhabitants of Rapture. This game will first take you through the process of cleaning the water and then will leave you in charge of keeping it at a healthy level. Learn how to treat the water with aluminum sulfate and chlorine to kill the germs and improve the color. Don’t forget to change the filters on a regular basis in order to keep your water at a consistent high quality. Be ready for surprise water tests at a moment’s notice. Pass and your score will climb. Watch your ADAM though because if you fail, the penalties are high.

Rock Band : The Groupies
Groupies are inevitable when you are a member of a famous rock band. Some people embrace them, others shun them. How far will you let your Rock Band groupies go? Will you invite them backstage to playfully interact with your band members after a big show? Will you allow their entrance at your exclusive opening night tour party? Will you become the very thing legends are made of by creating your own version of the Rolling Stones candy bar story? Decide whether you will allow only a few faithful groupies or if you will build your groupie posse into the largest entourage ever.

American Idol Karaoke : Advertising Dollars
There are big bucks to made from in show advertising, but what will your bottom line look like at the end of the season? Squeeze in as many product placements as you can into each and every episode of American Idol in order to maximize your profits. Beware, it’s not as easy as it sounds. Did Simon take a drink from his Coca-Cola glass but set it down backwards where nobody could see the logo for three quarters of the show? That will definitely cost you some money. Did you accidentally accept product placements from two rival companies for the same episode? Unfortunately not only will they pull their ads, but they will also refuse to work with you for the remainder of the season. Learn how to place as many products throughout the show in as obvious of places as possible and watch your advertising dollars climb right alongside your salary.

FIFA ‘08 : Be a Hooligan
People are passionate about soccer, none more so than the hooligan. Support your favorite soccer team by joining a gang of hooligans and then faithfully defending their honor. Arrange fights with rival hooligans at a prearranged location away from the stadium. Incite a riot by rampaging through the streets, burning cars, garbage, and anything in your path. Travel to all the away games to intimidate opposing team’s fans into submission. Find out how far you are willing to go to support your favorite soccer team in this violent game that puts GTA to shame.

Dead or Alive 4 : Female Costume Design
Designing costumes for female fighters in Dead or Alive 4 is not as easy as you would think. Learn to score big as you play this game that allows you to create outfits that balance being sexy with being deadly. Yes, knee high black leather boots look good but how do they hold up in battle? Selecting a pair with a heel that packs a punch that you can also do flips and jumps in spells big win. Making outfits that are dangerously revealing, easy to move in, but stay put will earn you score multipliers while having a wardrobe malfunction mid fight will cost you serious points. If you have always wanted to be a virtual clothing designer, this game is for you.

Worms : Sheep Raising
One of everybody’s favorite weapons in Worms is the sheep. Deceptively cute but oh so deadly, sending a sheep into battle practically guarantees a significant hit to your opponent. But where do all of these adorably furry sheep come from? In this simulation game, you will find yourself raising the sheep that eventually get sent into combat. You must breed them, raise their babies, and decide at which age they are ready to be used as a traveling stick of dynamite. What may seem like a cute and relaxing game on the surface will turn into a heart wrenching gaming experience. Rivaling the morality issues that BioShock brought you, learn how to keep the sheep at a distance so when duty calls, you can send them with a light heart. Sacrifices must be made, and this time it is in the form of sheep.

The Viva Piñata Romance Dance Choreographer
Did you love Viva Piñata and but often found yourself thinking the romance dances were just a little bit lacking? Spice it up with this new game that allows you to choreograph all of the piñata romance dances however you like. Do you want to see two Cinnamonkeys do a provocative rendition of the famous Dirty Dancing routine? Do you think a pair of Fizzlybears could pull off a hot Latin flavored tango? Want to see a Chippopotamus reenact Madonna’s classic Like a Virgin stage performance for another Chippopotamus? Your imagination is your only limit in this fun interactive dance game.