I saw an image last week on Bungie’s Weekly Update that had some serious potential. I knew I had to do something with it, but unfortunately I couldn’t come up with anything witty enough to do it justice. That is where you come in. Save my ass and create a funny caption for this picture and I will reward (one of) you for your efforts.
And I am supposed to carry two of these?
The person who creates the wittiest caption for this image will win these things :
- Halo 3 Soundtrack
- $20 Gift Certificate to my Etsy Store (where I sell video game related cards)
- Xbox LIVE 1-Month Gold Subscription Card
- whatever else I find under the cushions of my couch
Simply leave your submission as a comment on this article. Be sure to use a valid email address as that is how I will be contacting the winner. If you are like me, you won’t be able to think of anything on the spot but will instead come up with something positively hilarious approximately three days later. Don’t fret, enter as many times as you like until Sunday, January 27th at 11:59 pm PDT. Once comments are closed, I will handpick my favorites and let my clanmates vote on the winner (who will be announced and notified a few days later). If you have any questions, you can message me via my contact form. Otherwise, please think of something funny for me. Please?
*Image used with permission.
Posted by Penguinish on January 22, 2008 at 2:44 am
*crocodile Dundee voice* Thats not a knife, THIS is a knife!
Posted by johpan on January 22, 2008 at 2:53 am
too bad i don’t play halo so I can’t think of anything clever that’s related to the game…best of luck to all entries :D
Posted by agdTinMan on January 22, 2008 at 3:02 am
We represent the UNSC Guild
The UNSC Guild, the UNSC Guild
And in the name of the UNSC Guild
We wish to welcome you to Halo Land!
-or-
The Covenant thought their shrinking ray was the perfect weapon, until they realized it just made the marines harder to hit.
Posted by the light show on January 22, 2008 at 3:06 am
“bet ‘cha can’t stick it”
eh, thats all i got,,, yay me
Posted by Blazex master on January 22, 2008 at 4:14 am
*Chubacca yell*
or
*British accent* “Wha’ is dis? Do I…..do I hit things with it, or something?
Posted by Andrew Herron on January 22, 2008 at 4:45 am
“whoever built this baby got their imperial and metric systems mixed up”
“if I hit you with this, and you don’t die, I’ll buy you a beer”
Posted by Peniamina on January 22, 2008 at 6:20 am
“They said it was impossible my my gigantoray works mwahhahahaha”*manic laughter*. “Now what else should i make bigger” *looks down*
Posted by Peniamina on January 22, 2008 at 6:24 am
opps should “but my” not “my my” and
“I think I’m gonna need a bigger Beautiful Katamari PSP bag”
Posted by Peniamina on January 22, 2008 at 6:26 am
“you think this is big, wait till you see my other weapon”
Posted by Algebra Cow on January 22, 2008 at 6:55 am
how am i supposed to rock out to this?
Posted by Tyrone Hawk on January 22, 2008 at 7:01 am
I think I will stick with my killer pistol from Halo 1
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 7:03 am
It tough to find good accessories for a purple shirt. Especially if you are Dave from 3rd Floor Accounting.
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 7:09 am
At first, Corp.Scaggins thought he had made a huge discovery on his recon mission to the Brute Mansion…he had found what he thought was a weapon (hidden secretively under a mattress)…..until he pressed a button and it started vibrating.
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 7:11 am
You should see the heat he’s packin UNDER his armor
Posted by ClandestineMan on January 22, 2008 at 7:17 am
1) Compensating much?!
2) You know what they say about a man who has a big grenade…
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 7:34 am
“I know you worked hard on it, honey…but I really don’t see how that will fit on top of the Christmas tree…”
Posted by silvercube on January 22, 2008 at 7:36 am
Silvercube is about to write un-kosher comments. 0.o
1) Look at my spike, baby.
2) I’m gonna spike’r so hard!
3) Here at Halo Surgery, Just one look is worth a thousand sticks.
4) The female covenant get much pleasure from the enhanced spike dildo.
5) If you think this is big, wait until you see master chief’s!
6) This spike baby here is the bomb… I’m gonna drop you like it’s hot.
- end of cheesy un-kosher comments, and now back to regular programming-
^_^
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 7:38 am
The FRAT Hazing took a turn to deadly, when pledges were told to make out with the “Medusa Stick”….
Posted by snorkle256 on January 22, 2008 at 7:42 am
“A simple grenade elf on his way to support Master Cheif.”
“AH, STUCK!”
“‘Here you go Monster Cheif!’”
Posted by Littlemikey on January 22, 2008 at 7:51 am
“Three seconds ’till this baby explodes!”
Posted by Sorel on January 22, 2008 at 7:51 am
“So… this is why one spike can kill.”
Posted by Jim. on January 22, 2008 at 7:55 am
Take THIS Cloverfield monster!
Posted by Clefton Twain on January 22, 2008 at 8:01 am
This is the way the world ends…
Posted by Jabba on January 22, 2008 at 8:01 am
“Now this is what I call a BANHAMMER!”
Posted by Beejag on January 22, 2008 at 8:10 am
To bad you didn’t use the top picture because
“Im getting to old for this shit”
anyways all ive got so far is
“Private Porkins off again on again relationship with the large spike grenade would quickly become short lived after he discovered far too lately that the detonator was still active.”
Posted by DireMonkey on January 22, 2008 at 8:13 am
I’m gonna need bigger pants!
Posted by sander on January 22, 2008 at 8:14 am
“Easy on the viagra, buddy”
“Spartan Augmentation program side effect #005″
Brute Chieftain voice: “The Holy Relic!!!”
Grunt: “Food nipple, For me..??”
Arbiter: “Unworthy of my blades”
Scared off marine from Halo 1 in the lifepod: “What is that thing Lieutenant!!?”
Posted by CaptainKirk91 on January 22, 2008 at 8:16 am
“Is that a spike grenade on your crotch, or are you just happy to see me?”
Posted by Pedro the Penguin on January 22, 2008 at 8:16 am
“She said she’d been tested clean!”
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 8:21 am
Although the war with the covenant was on everyone’s minds, Private Jenkins was always more concerned with unsheathing his ’sacred icon’
Posted by Captain Raspberry on January 22, 2008 at 8:23 am
“Hey Frankie! Look at the size of mine!”
Posted by DireMonkey on January 22, 2008 at 8:34 am
Them Covenant crabs are bloody HUGE!
Posted by DiscipleN2k on January 22, 2008 at 8:37 am
“You see doctor, it just started swelling this morning and it hasn’t stopped!”
And the obligatory,
“IT’S OVER 9000!!!!!!”
Posted by schedonnardus on January 22, 2008 at 8:41 am
“Say hello to my little friend. No I mean Staten, not the grenade”
“Honey, I shrunk the cinematics director”
“This……is……BUNGIE!!”
“Happy Gilmore joins the Marines”
Posted by wolfy on January 22, 2008 at 8:41 am
i’ve got the spikes, now where’s the vampire?
Posted by Erik on January 22, 2008 at 8:41 am
“I caught it Chief, now what do I do?”
Posted by SG Noodles on January 22, 2008 at 8:45 am
“You want me to stick this WHERE?”
Posted by Storm on January 22, 2008 at 8:46 am
“I don’t need to show off my guns when I can show off my ‘nades!”
“I really hope those spikes come out this way!”
“At least this isn’t incendiary!”
“DEAR GOD WHY DID IT HAVE TO STICK THERE”
“Is this retribution for all the times that the Chief aimed low with his plasma grenades?!”
“THOSE BLADES! They’re GROWING!”
“…And here you see an enthusiastic demonstration of the new UNSC reverse-engineered hand-held spike mortar.”
“Since when were Brutes this big?” (notorious E3 2007 screenshot reference)
and
Spiked for her pleasure™
*ducks*
Posted by Erik on January 22, 2008 at 8:49 am
UNSC COMBAT NOTE: When returning an enemy spike grenade it is important to keep one’s composure
Posted by Trunks on January 22, 2008 at 8:51 am
Hard to compete with some of these lines.
“I’m a marine in khakis with a big spikey friend!”
Posted by JuJoo Guppy on January 22, 2008 at 8:54 am
When I was told STD’s burn I wasn’t expecting this!
Master Chief packs 2 of these…?
Posted by Michael Archer on January 22, 2008 at 8:56 am
Ok Mark! We get it. Sheesh, insecure much?
Posted by Helveck on January 22, 2008 at 8:58 am
“After the war, due to the extreme amount of loss of limbs, this is all the army could conjure up as a prosthetic for me…situation. They say its temporary, but its really grown on me.”
“You think this is bad? You should see what happens when I get REALLY excited.” *Naked woman enters the room.*
- Seconds later, everyones dead.
Posted by w on January 22, 2008 at 9:04 am
say hello to my little friend!!!
Posted by Kevin on January 22, 2008 at 9:08 am
“And I thought all those ‘natural male enhancement’ emails were just spam…”
“I knew China would undermine the spirit of the Olympic Games; this new torch looks Brutal!”
“In case of Grunty Thirst, smash open padlock!”
“The Rock Band guitar compatibility issue is causing some to go to extreme measures.”
“By the power of Grey Skull…”
“Compared to these new Gap Khakis ads, LL Cool J hawking clothes for white yuppies makes tons of sense.”
“The sword swallower’s next attempt did not go down smoothly…”
“I could have been your daddy.”
“Private Johnson, we’d all prefer it if you’d keep your freakish johnson private.”
“So that’s what elephantitis looks like.”
Posted by Sebastiaan on January 22, 2008 at 9:09 am
1: bill’s wife said he was too small. he swallowd a bottle of viagra and drank a redbull, see the result
2: “wait whats this?: made in china?! NOOOOO!!!”
3: “and this years winner of most luckies dude evar is: BILL! for getting stuck in the crotch by a dud spike grenade”
cheesy background music starts to play
“thank you thank you. i would like thank my famely and friends and most of all the surgeons for succesfully removing every last spike from my crotch.”
4: aaaah, the stuff ya can get from the grocery store.
5: yes, size DOES matter!
6: ya might just find one of these under ‘the cushions of your couch’ when your looking for other prizes, McBloggy.
dont make me win, you’ll pay a fortune for sending funds. netherlands -.-’. XD.
Posted by jb on January 22, 2008 at 9:11 am
“UNSC Combat Training Manual”
“Paragraph 7.3.4.1: Dodging”
“Figure 57: Taken moments before his demise, this photo shows Private Frodo Jenkins getting stuck by an enemy grenadier in a most unpleasant location. Attempted removal of grenade by fellow soldiers was unsuccessful as they were met with resistive shouts of ‘Oh God please dont touch it! Just dont touch it! It will come out by itself as long as you dont……’”
Posted by Sebastiaan on January 22, 2008 at 9:13 am
7: ICANHASRECONNOW?!
8: they sell WHAT at the etsy store?!
ooh that last one was mean! (i would totaly buy that thou!)
Posted by EatThePath on January 22, 2008 at 9:15 am
Well, given the pose, I’ve hard a hard time coming up with anything wholesome.
“If your erection lasts more than four hours, sprouts metal spikes, or grows larger than your torso, contact a doctor immediately”
I was going to be me more circumspect about that one, but I guess it’s no worse then some of Silvercube’s.
How about “Careful, you could put someone’s eye out with that thing.”
Posted by thewilleffect on January 22, 2008 at 9:16 am
The Gravemind:
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now lets see how well you handle it.
A few minutes later……
Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb. Say good by to your two best friends.
Posted by Kevin on January 22, 2008 at 9:19 am
“So, if this is an image from a new 1337 Valentine’s card, do I get a cut of Hawty’s sales since I’m writing the captions?”
“You want me to SPNKR you? With this!? Better come up with a safety word…”
“The UNSC’s recruitment difficulties worsened when troop immunizations began coming in suppository form.”
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 9:22 am
Narrated by Boris Karloff (Grinch Who Stole XMas):
“..the transporter shook..and it zipped, banged, and cracked!
Our bold hero was stunned he was now the size of a gnat!
He reached down and grabbed his one spiker in his hand,
and off our soldier went to rid the gigantic covenant from his land.
…..a person’s a person no matter how small.
And their whole world was saved…by the smallest of all.”
Posted by CmdrPlunge on January 22, 2008 at 9:31 am
“For erections lasting longer that four hours, please consult your physician.”
Posted by CmdrPlunge on January 22, 2008 at 9:36 am
A cleaner reword:
“For gruesome deaths lasting longer that four hours, please consult your alien aggressors.”
Posted by FoxmanFX on January 22, 2008 at 9:37 am
“I caught it! I caught it! I caught!”
“Little did Pvt. Burns know that even though he caught the Brute Spike Grenade, it was still going to explode…”
“Arghhhh!!!! I didn’t know the Brutes were *THAT* big!”
“And then I grabbed the Brute Spike Grenade off the ground, yelled at him like this ‘ARGHHH!!!!’ and charged! You should have seen his face when I stuck it right in his groin!”
“And then I yelled ‘FORE!’. You should have seen the look on the Grunt’s face!”
“Pvt. Burns learns why most people wisely stick to corpse humping, and avoid the spike grenades.”
“Pvt. Burns demonstrates why you should *not* use a Brute Spike Grenade in a victory dance.”
“Who’s your Daddy now Tartarus!”
“As the sole surviving Marine of the entire Halo 3 game, Pvt. Burns feels he is entitled to his victory dance.”
============
Sergeant Major Avery J. Johnson: “And this is why Marines, you will NOT touch any grenade type not handed down on high by the Gods of the Admiralty. Are we CLEAR?!?”
Marines: “OohRah Sir!”
Sergeant Major Avery J. Johnson: “Damn straight I am!”
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 9:42 am
“Merry Christmas son….now, go poke someone’s eye out.”
Posted by FoxmanFX on January 22, 2008 at 9:43 am
Ok just one more ;)
“The Kamikaze Grunt-Marine (KGM) did not make it past the prototype stage.”
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 9:47 am
Due to the high number of obvious complaints, the strength of the Brute Nade was severely nerfed after the release of the initial Halo 3 Beta
Posted by Skinnydude on January 22, 2008 at 9:48 am
“Now if I could just remember where I put those two plasma ‘nades…..”
“Experiment Log 324: Attempt at upgrading Bravo Kilo technology. Result: Huge Success”
Posted by Christopher on January 22, 2008 at 9:49 am
You should probably get that looked at….
or
Thaaat maaakes youuu laaaarger than life.
Posted by tornado on January 22, 2008 at 9:51 am
“when they warned me about the side effects from foolin’ around with brute chicks, i thought they were just kidding!!!”
Posted by Eloco on January 22, 2008 at 9:57 am
I would rather hold your purse Miss Chief!
Posted by BlueNinja on January 22, 2008 at 10:03 am
Even after the Covenant disbanded, their legacy remained… Although used in a very different fashion.
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 10:07 am
With just some paper mache and cardboard, the ODST’s had easily pulled one over on gullible old Private Jenkins before the assault on the Covenant, telling him he was a ’shoe-in’ on the battlefield. Unfortunately, they underestimated Jenkins’ eagerness, and forgot to leave the main access door to the UNSC ground base closed. He will be missed.
Posted by Chromium on January 22, 2008 at 10:11 am
Now you know why it’s called “going commando”.
Posted by stan on January 22, 2008 at 10:15 am
In this January, 2007, file photo, U.S. author Joseph Staten is seen making lascivious gestures with an oversized mock-up of an alien weapon from Bungie Studies popular game Halo. Recently, sources within Bungie have suggested that the surprising success of Staten’s first novel _Contact Harvest_ may have gone to his head.
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 10:16 am
Get your -Halo 4 Happy Meal- today!
*Batteries Not Incl
Posted by GP on January 22, 2008 at 10:16 am
“Each one comes with two giant frags as well…”
“But when it goes off it’s like XBL: a thousand little pricks bouncing around uselessly.”
“My other ***** is blue. And sticky.”
Posted by Earl Bishop on January 22, 2008 at 10:16 am
Oye Johnson! I’ve got a present for you!
Posted by XMixMasterX on January 22, 2008 at 10:20 am
Needless to say, the Marine was surprised when the Covenant first used their ‘Enlarging Gun’.
Posted by Michael Mulholland on January 22, 2008 at 10:25 am
Narrative Voice
“Due to its irregular shape and huge size, UNSC private Staten was unsure if this horse should be scared of him, or if he should be scared of it.”
Posted by Morpheus on January 22, 2008 at 10:31 am
I only took one pill, baby! I swear!!!
Posted by Skinnydude on January 22, 2008 at 10:37 am
Ah, here’s another one: “The marines gave quite an enthusiastic response when they saw the new codpiece coming out next month.”
Posted by nocluehalo on January 22, 2008 at 10:38 am
“WTF!?”
Posted by Xor1an on January 22, 2008 at 10:42 am
“Coming in Rock Band 2: the Spike Bass”
“I forgot the safe-word!“
Posted by Toneslice on January 22, 2008 at 10:49 am
She laughed at me….they all did. now lets see what they say.
Posted by Erik on January 22, 2008 at 10:56 am
SPARTAN II DEFENSIVE PROCEDURE 2-A1:
When encountering brutes with spike grenades, if at all possible let nearby marine take the stick
Posted by Erik on January 22, 2008 at 10:57 am
i’d like to have the last one stricken from the record, j/k if it’s good
Posted by www on January 22, 2008 at 10:58 am
*guitar-hero avatar* “You’re doing it wrong!”
Posted by Ben Crawford on January 22, 2008 at 11:00 am
Holy cow, is this a brute suppository?!?
Posted by stickynotetheatre on January 22, 2008 at 11:06 am
What do you mean “it hurt too much last night?”
Posted by A73L3VEN on January 22, 2008 at 11:09 am
In the words of the great Gallagher himself, “sledgeOmatic”. No.. No… SpikeOmatic!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Mattius Battius on January 22, 2008 at 11:10 am
please god! if i don’t stick a grunt with this the UNSC is gona fire me!
Posted by Master NOODLE on January 22, 2008 at 11:11 am
I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!
Posted by Sigafoos on January 22, 2008 at 11:14 am
Joe Staten *is* NSFW
Feet first into AH MY GROIN
The sad thing is that Joe is one of many on the internet with this fetish
EULALIAAAAAAAA!
(if you haven’t read Redwall, I apologize)
Giant spike grenades may be closer than they appear
Cosplay gone horribly, horribly wrong
The true reason the Halo movie is postponed: Staten is too busy playing with all their crap
Posted by petetheduck on January 22, 2008 at 11:16 am
“Jason Friedberg’s decision to release this image from the set of The Halo Movie gives insight into the film’s indefinite delay.”
Posted by Pete on January 22, 2008 at 11:18 am
1) Pfc. Jason “Bareback” Wilson reacts to the fallout from his promiscuous shore leave behavior.
2) Concerned that her husband may stray during his long deployment, Mrs. Davis equips her husband with her own version of a chastity belt.
3) A Marine reacts after urinating with a severe case of spikorrhea.
Posted by Ben Crawford on January 22, 2008 at 11:24 am
Ay, caramba!
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 11:29 am
Universal and Fox quickly withdrew from the Halo Movie project due to gross over-budgeting in the props department
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 11:29 am
Edit: dammit sigafoos! i wanted to be the first to make a movie comment lol
Posted by those squirrels on January 22, 2008 at 11:39 am
I make Prince’s guitar look juvenile.
Posted by Hellcat on January 22, 2008 at 11:43 am
Where am I supposed to stick it?
Posted by Hellcat on January 22, 2008 at 11:44 am
Oh no! Excuse the inadequate html!
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 11:48 am
Halo themed birthday pinatas are appropriate for all ages.
Posted by bs angel on January 22, 2008 at 11:48 am
(Fixed. You know I have your back Hellcat!)
Posted by DrDoctor on January 22, 2008 at 11:50 am
I don’t know if anyone said this yet but…
“No Glove No Love”
“Safe sex is good sex”
“Wear a condom” – See a theme?
“VD can surprise you.”
“Enzyte Overdose”
“If you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, please notify your physician.”
You’re the best, BS. :-)
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 22, 2008 at 12:00 pm
“I know what the ladies like…”
(sarge rox)
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 22, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Or…
“Ladies like superior firepower”
-
“Sarge called, he wants his Johnson back”
Posted by Hellcat on January 22, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Thankies :)
Posted by SuperGirl Brig on January 22, 2008 at 12:08 pm
“Size does matter”
Posted by Jevon Pyle on January 22, 2008 at 12:13 pm
1) Get it off! GET IT OFF!!
2) Where does it whirl?
3) *THWOK* MEDIC!!!!
4) Surfs Up!
5) ‘Transform!’
Posted by Jevon Pyle on January 22, 2008 at 12:16 pm
FORE!
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 22, 2008 at 12:25 pm
“Spike beats ghost…” (you know where this going)
“Good demon…”
“Suck it, Heretic”
“That’s why Wilson has a memorial.”
P.s. Sorry for the multi-post, just wanted to send these in.
Posted by -S- on January 22, 2008 at 12:31 pm
After the success of modding her teammates sniper rifle, bs angel decides to mod her teammates crotch-plate as well.
Posted by Ben Crawford on January 22, 2008 at 12:31 pm
UNSC marine intimidated by brute suppository
Posted by Jevon Pyle on January 22, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Hey you forgot something!
Posted by Chaelek on January 22, 2008 at 12:39 pm
New from Brute Tech Ind. the Anti-Everything stick! Good for getting rid of marines, tanks, super soldiers, and unsightly facial blemishes!
Posted by Jevon Pyle on January 22, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I thought it was just a dream! JUST A DREAM!!
Posted by Strykr on January 22, 2008 at 12:43 pm
With the advent of genetic engineering in the later half of the twenty-third century, human reproduction and copulation were changed forever.
Posted by Valnar300 on January 22, 2008 at 12:45 pm
1.UNSC reminder: Vision-impaired and slow-moving marines should report for Operation Human-Shield
2.If you can dodge a Spike ‘Nade you can dodge a ball…
3.Note: DO NOT try this at home
4. THIS is why we want YOU!
Posted by Chaelek on January 22, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Or possibly, in reference to halo 1, “It’s God’s own Anti-Son-of-A-Bitch machine!”
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 22, 2008 at 12:51 pm
A hero shall rise…
Posted by Jevon Pyle on January 22, 2008 at 12:53 pm
SHORE LEAVE!!!!!
Posted by LizardKing on January 22, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Halo Condoms – If you can’t shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket
Posted by gggu on January 22, 2008 at 12:59 pm
“Ooh yeah, spike me baby!”
Posted by X Nation 1 on January 22, 2008 at 1:08 pm
“She said she was CLEAN!!!”
Posted by terry on January 22, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Enzyte FTW!
Posted by Relic088 on January 22, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Wait a minute! This is no pineapple! NOO!!!
Posted by bs angel on January 22, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I <3 you two, LOL …
Posted by schedonnardus on January 22, 2008 at 1:18 pm
is that bob the enzyte guy?
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 22, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Here goes *kahem*:
1) “Love at first sight.”
2) “Well there’s your problem!”
3) “Why it’s not a good idea to look a gift horse in the mouth.”
Posted by AngelicLionheart on January 22, 2008 at 1:30 pm
“The Halo 3 Brute Grenade: It’s not just for baby-kongs anymore.”
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 22, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Sorry for the second post but I forgot to add this one;
4.) “I feel validated!”
Posted by Chris Baumbach on January 22, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Now THAT’s what I call a custom power-up.
Posted by the light show on January 22, 2008 at 1:38 pm
“hey frankie, go long!”
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 22, 2008 at 1:46 pm
(Cliche viagra caption, but this one is funnier)
“Since when is Viagra a Halo 3 powerup?”
Posted by Dan the Stick on January 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm
WAR – there’s just no room for midgets anymore…
Posted by Dan the Stick on January 22, 2008 at 1:49 pm
“This is why there were never any space dwarves in Halo”
Posted by Dan the Stick on January 22, 2008 at 1:51 pm
“I don’t want to play this game anymore!”
Posted by Dan the Stick on January 22, 2008 at 1:55 pm
“Are you guys sure this is safe?”
Posted by InsaneViking on January 22, 2008 at 1:57 pm
“Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.”
Posted by Jimmy Jangles on January 22, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Mini Me struggled with his first day at Brute Camp
Posted by mikemonts on January 22, 2008 at 2:04 pm
I swear it won’t hurt baby. I’ll be gentle.
Posted by Yarvis NL on January 22, 2008 at 2:06 pm
“I hope it isn’t as contagious as it looks.”
Posted by Richard Finucane on January 22, 2008 at 2:06 pm
“The new Brute Spiker male inhancer,
Once you go Bute, You’ll always salute.”
Posted by Chris on January 22, 2008 at 2:06 pm
beats wearing protection
Posted by terry on January 22, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Now pay attention, 007.
Posted by Yarvis NL on January 22, 2008 at 2:07 pm
‘Goodmorning to you, too…’
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 22, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Wait is this my third post? Okay, I promise this is the last one.
5)” In America you hold onto spike grenade, but in Soviet Russia, spike grenade hold onto YOU!”
Posted by etalex on January 22, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Palm tree?! The future SUCKS!
Posted by realliferealmoney on January 22, 2008 at 2:14 pm
At MacWorld this week, Steve Jobs introduced the new “iPenis” which, he said in his opening remarks, will revolutionize the dating world.
Posted by Impervium on January 22, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Hahaha!!!! Haha… Wait, you’re serious?
-or-
Where’s the &%*#ing pin on this thing?!
-or-
“…”
-or-
How the hell am I even HOLDING this thing?!
~I~
Posted by SI-117 on January 22, 2008 at 2:24 pm
“Contrary to popular opinion, the expression of pain and terror on the face of this marine has nothing to do with the massive Spike Grenade about to shred him like so many pounds of hamburger. He is actually reacting to the first thing the grenade took out. . . on impact.”
“Brute scientist thought that bigger was always better. . . until ingenious marines began using the ‘Super-Spike Grenades’ as a Gravity Hammer.”
“Take a look at THIS piece of ordinance boys!!”
(The obligatory RvB homage) “Son of a-”
“I really should have worn my codpiece today. . .”
“The stunned captain realizes that, due to his limited arm reach, removing the grenade from his crotch will involve impaling his face.”
(Somewhat similar to the above) “Good Looks, or Kids. . . decide in two seconds. . .”
Posted by Will on January 22, 2008 at 2:25 pm
ENDOWED JARHEAD. Newly-independent deployment-ready warrior with a sense of fashion seeks smart meta-stable AI for serious relationship in the software industry. I’ve got epic stories if you like mythic sci-fi. No copies. BSi2007 (5/10).
Posted by mister mindlove on January 22, 2008 at 2:27 pm
“Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. “
Posted by L0co on January 22, 2008 at 2:27 pm
“THIS… IS… SPIKE GRENADE!!!”
Posted by Sorel on January 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm
“How many more for the grenade pile?!”
“Play ball!!!”
Posted by romeo7383 on January 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm
This.. is.. my… BOOMSTICK!!!
Posted by Sandman on January 22, 2008 at 2:32 pm
“Private Schmuckatelli’s career in the UNSC Drum & Bugle Corps ended tragically when Sarge caught him playing Guitar Hero in the break room. He will be missed.”
Posted by Spartan Jag on January 22, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Ride the Spike, baby!
Posted by Captain Spark on January 22, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I doubt the local drugstore stocks “Trojans” to fit this thing?
Posted by Code Mustaddddd on January 22, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Probably said already.
“Is this one of them brute hammers I’ve heard so much about?”
Posted by Sandman on January 22, 2008 at 2:40 pm
“Think you got nades? Check out MY nades!”
Posted by Raymond on January 22, 2008 at 2:41 pm
“WORST. BASEBALL BAT. EVER.”
or alternatively
“STATEN SMASH!”
Posted by Sandman on January 22, 2008 at 2:42 pm
“While Private Schmuckatelli demonstrates the proper arming and deployment procedure for the Mark-II intercontinental ballistic spike grenade, the platoon will observe from outside the blast radius, in a bunker 30 miles away.”
Posted by Dylan on January 22, 2008 at 2:42 pm
“O…..MY………..GOD………Guys,I think its stuck……..”
Posted by snyper on January 22, 2008 at 2:57 pm
“Master Chief: Ok, who let dwarves into this genre? They were specifically told to stay in the role-playing genre!
Legolas: Who let you into our genre? And you brought you corruption with you…”
Master Chief: Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenkins!
Tragically this poor unnamed marine was unable to be put back together by Frankenstein, and our condolences go out to the family.
Mad scientist Bob rank 3 was arrested today after his attempt to make giant spike grenades backfired and his young assistant was caught in the blast. Ensign John will be missed.
Posted by snyper on January 22, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Sorry four the double post, but I misspelled your in front of corruption >.<
Posted by Darth Oatmeal on January 22, 2008 at 3:02 pm
(On Christmas Morning)
OH MY GOD!
THANKS MOM AND DAD!
It’s exactly what I wanted – a big ‘ol spike grenade!
Posted by Darth Oatmeal on January 22, 2008 at 3:03 pm
I finally found my stainless steel KITCHEN KNIFE HOLDER!
All right!
Posted by GamesBond007 on January 22, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Two Words — Flawless Cowboy!!!
Posted by Fred on January 22, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Yippe Kayee
Posted by NG on January 22, 2008 at 3:10 pm
“I still say mine is bigger Master Chief”
Posted by Never mind on January 22, 2008 at 3:18 pm
A sticky situatuon indeed
Posted by Erik on January 22, 2008 at 3:19 pm
tired of wasting your money on cheap food processor replacement blades?
Posted by Crabbo on January 22, 2008 at 3:22 pm
He’s a boy. And what a boy!
Posted by petetheduck on January 22, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Hope this html works..
“
Warthog launchingHigh Charity launching”Posted by Imperfectus1 on January 22, 2008 at 3:30 pm
This ring isn’t a cudgel, you barbarian… but *this* could be…
Posted by Torrent on January 22, 2008 at 3:48 pm
(Female marine) “I think I just peed a little”.
Posted by nam on January 22, 2008 at 3:51 pm
“I knew we should’ve turned down the Dental Plan and just accept the jocks!”
“This alarm says 00:01!”
“Now just eeease the pole slowly up and down”
And a random one…
“Holy shit! Signed by bs angel!”
Posted by plazma muffin on January 22, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Big grenade……big brute…. *gulps* uh ho…..
Posted by nate on January 22, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Clover field monster, eat your heart out!
Posted by stan on January 22, 2008 at 4:04 pm
And so when they met again on the battlefield, the Brute chieftain spared Pvt. Martin’s life, never forgetting the gentleness with which the tiny marine had removed that irritating thorn from its paw.
Posted by Vertrex on January 22, 2008 at 4:05 pm
” -Blam! ”
Yeah that’s a caption!
:D!
Posted by Terry on January 22, 2008 at 4:06 pm
“THIS, will make a lot of people dying at the same time!”
“And they say Chief is big.”
Posted by gruntkiller99 on January 22, 2008 at 4:21 pm
“First it was swords, then it was big ass hammers, now there using maces? Whats next?”
“Chief made this look easy”
“Alalalala, its a bomb!!!”
‘Did the bomb from halo 2 have an offspring?”
“Spike grenade, what did you do to the big ass bomb from halo 2?”
“Standard issue brute dildo”
“The spikes on this would impale and kill me, whats the point in it even exploding?”
Posted by BrentGamer on January 22, 2008 at 4:24 pm
After being rejected by Thumbelina, UNSC Marine Jason Saldaña decided to vent his anger by attempting to stick a brute with his own grenade. Needless to say, Jason was unsuccessful.
Posted by Fuseli on January 22, 2008 at 4:27 pm
“Y’know, maybe that Viagra spam IS for real.”
Posted by Jared Armstrong on January 22, 2008 at 4:36 pm
THIS IS SPARTA!!!
Posted by Chickenlittle on January 22, 2008 at 4:45 pm
“It’s Stuck!”
Posted by Nano on January 22, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Holy SHIT, Why did I catch a grenade only to put it next to my unprotected CROTCH?!
Posted by Top Posts « WordPress.com on January 22, 2008 at 5:00 pm
[...] Hawty McBloggy’s “Caption This” Contest I saw an image last week on Bungie’s Weekly Update that had some serious potential. I knew I had to do something […] [...]
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 22, 2008 at 5:11 pm
that’s Hawt
Posted by Blake on January 22, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Mines bigger than YOURS, Chief!
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 22, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Oh shit, which way will spikes go again…?
Posted by Jonathan on January 22, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Here’s one for older gamers:
Ah! Passing this kidney stone SUUUUUUUCCKKKKSS!!!
Posted by ResilientMonkey on January 22, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!
-or-
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let’s see how well you handle it.
Had to throw in some SpaceBalls references!
Posted by Mad Tom on January 22, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Who needs Spikes when you got a stick this big!
Posted by Havok Se7en on January 22, 2008 at 5:23 pm
“It’s over 9000!!!!”
Posted by The Townie on January 22, 2008 at 5:24 pm
“And the Oscar goes too….”
Posted by Man Demon on January 22, 2008 at 5:26 pm
“I know you want us to be trained with Covenant weapons, Sarge, but I think the scales off.”
or
“Why would the Covenant fill a mace with explosives?”
Posted by Luke on January 22, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Why would you modify me Angel?!?!?!?! WWHHHHHYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Posted by Christopher on January 22, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Rein Ex Inc. reporting in, here are my captions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) “Finally… It will reach my mouth!.”
2) “To achieve detonation you must first gently grope with your left and firmly rub with your right, as depicted here.”
3) “Hawty should really… Really enjoy this”
4) “They call me Tripod.”
5) “$20 says I can fit the whole thing in my mouth…”
6) “SPIKE-ON!.. Spike-On, apply directly to the spike head.”
7) “Who needs Recon when you’ve got a Rod like this?!”
8) “If I dislocate my bottom jaw like a snake and start feet first, I could probably swallow it whole.”
9) “Different Strokes”
10) “If I sit on it, will I come?
11) “Cortana & the Chief are going to love what I got for them from the S&M gift shop.”
12) “One night stands might be over by the next morning, but convenant herps last for a lifetime.”
13) “United Nations Security Defense Force Experimental Prosthetic Amputee Limb Project.” (Judging by the look on this Spartans face the project is more than a success).
14) “Spencers is the best novelty shop ever!”
15) “If my amy catches me stroking it, will she be mad?
16) ” ‘AS SEEN ON TV’ ‘The Brutisizer’ Male Enhancement Precision Enlarger/Extender. Just 3 easy payments of $49.95 (+$6.95 S&H) . Order yours within the next 5 min and receive 2 extra 12.oz tubes of Erection Aid and 4 replacement blades. That’s over a $300.00 VALUE!!!
Order Yours Today!
Just call 1-800-BIG-HALO, thats 1-800-244-4256.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOL, that was fun. Thanks,
Rein Ex Inc.
Posted by Christopher on January 22, 2008 at 5:52 pm
BIG MISTAKE!
13) “United Nations **Space Command** Defense Force Experimental Prosthetic Amputee Limb Project.” (Judging by the look on this Spartans face the project is more than a success).
sorry, I don’t know how I screwed that one up.
Rein Ex Inc.
Posted by Vagon on January 22, 2008 at 5:57 pm
YEEEE-HAWW!!
I GOT ME A BIG ONE!
Posted by zyethecrimson on January 22, 2008 at 5:58 pm
“Egads! Lonny, get the truck! We got another!”
: D
Posted by WC Snaks on January 22, 2008 at 6:04 pm
“Wanna try my spike? It adds pleasure when it’s lit up.”
When Cortana saw this picture, Chief noticed her reaction. Her only reply was, ” I was young and needed the money.”
Posted by WC Snaks on January 22, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Living proof that all rubbers tear.
Posted by Will on January 22, 2008 at 6:16 pm
- Suddenly Corporal Stevenson realizes this isn’t his room
- ” It’s Not a Tumor ”
- ” Carl, Its got me Its got me! “
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 22, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Here’s some more, because I apparently can’t commit to my promises….
6) “There’s no kill like OVERKILL!”
7) “If this can’t pick that lock, I don’t know what can!”
8) (Similar idea to the previous “joke”) After so many fruitless hours of trying to break into WETA studios, Mr. Staten finally snapped and took some rather extreme measures…
9.) ” That’s no grenade…it’s a space station!”
10.) “It’s a trap!”
11.) “Where have you been all my life?!?”
12.) So much stick for such a small man…
Posted by Blinding on January 22, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Why yes, I am good in bed.
Posted by Brian on January 22, 2008 at 6:56 pm
~”Oh, man…I really hope the UNSC has a good health plan”~
~Peter Jackson’s ‘Un-named Halo Project’ finally revealed!~
Posted by snyper on January 22, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Another couple:
“You want this shtick? You can’t handle this shtick!’
“Suddenly Jason realized that it could be too big…”
“Yes!! My limited edition giant spike grenade came in!! Now to wait 6-8 weeks for the matching brute to arrive…”
“Minutes after this photo was taken Jason was pronounced dead of severe blood flow reduction to his brain.”
Posted by Adam on January 22, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Oh, so that’s why there are no Brute women.
Posted by Tortacular on January 22, 2008 at 7:27 pm
What do you mean you pulled the pin already?
Posted by Lotay on January 22, 2008 at 7:28 pm
‘If you rub it, it blows’ hhahaha
Posted by Lt Anders on January 22, 2008 at 7:39 pm
“Yabba Dabba Do!”
“You ain’t got nothing on this!”
“Note: When robbing banks, the size of your weapon matters”
“Grenades Gone Crazy!”
“Next time on, The One Stick Wonder….”
“Superman, meet your new rival, Supernade”
“Yo guys, I think it’s likes me”
“Is it just me, or is it hot here?”
“Walk softly, and carry a huge fucking stick!”
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 22, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Here’s some more.
13) “We’ve got a live one and its a keeper!”
14) “But we’re out of the smaller size.”
15) “Now this here, this here is a tree.”
16) “Where is your god now!?!”
17) “Congratulations! It’s a boy…sort of…”
Posted by Techtony on January 22, 2008 at 8:04 pm
You know what they say about big hands…. they can carry big grenades!!
Posted by Zach Jarrell on January 22, 2008 at 8:18 pm
So, I put some work into mine….
http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x264/starfleets/HaloFunnies.jpg
Posted by Simpsons Rule on January 22, 2008 at 8:28 pm
AAAH! I THOUGHT I WAS DESIGNING A VIDEO GAME!
Posted by WC Snaks on January 22, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Cortana: “So much so fast…it’s GLORIOUS!”
IT’S AIDS GET BACK!
RAMMING SPEEEED!!!!!!!!!!
FOR SPARTA!!!!!!
Posted by Mags89 on January 22, 2008 at 8:30 pm
don’t worry baby this will all be over soon
My wife left me for this!?!?!
Posted by WC Snaks on January 22, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Hold RB to….wait, what? How’d you do that?
Posted by Tech Artist on January 22, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Jason was drunk with power.
Posted by WC Snaks on January 22, 2008 at 9:07 pm
TOP SCORE!!!!!
Posted by neonfrog on January 22, 2008 at 9:17 pm
You don’t want to know where Joe stuck the two Plasma Gernades.
Posted by Berry on January 22, 2008 at 10:03 pm
“STAR POWER ACTIVATED!”
Posted by Hoovaloov on January 22, 2008 at 10:44 pm
“Stupid ED commercials…never said anything about freakin’ pointy things growin’ every which way….”
Posted by iDeNoh on January 22, 2008 at 11:12 pm
“SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!”
Posted by iDeNoh on January 22, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Wow, thats what I get for reading. anyways here:
Jack McNally had always been teased as being the tallest Leprichan, Today that might just come in handy.
-
WEEEEAAABOOOOO!!!!!!!!
-
Johnny had always known the covenant tend to overcompensate, but THIS was rediculous.
-
THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!!!!
Posted by iDeNoh on January 22, 2008 at 11:21 pm
My eyes! The Goggles do nothing!
is also acceptable.
Posted by Iain McNulty on January 22, 2008 at 11:30 pm
1) “This is my boomstick, wanna taste it?”
2) “Thats gotta be one painful place to get stuck!”
Posted by itwasluck on January 22, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Honey it came out again
Posted by ferret on January 22, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Now available: giant robot-sized Spike Grenades*
*giant robot not included.
Posted by Tortacular on January 23, 2008 at 12:36 am
Angel got tired of throwing multiple grenades to betray me, so she had this one made special order…
Posted by brbrl on January 23, 2008 at 2:02 am
George was always a little weird, but his wife left him for a Brute he went completely over the edge.
Posted by flying_squirl on January 23, 2008 at 2:47 am
“i bet this’ll beat tank!”
Posted by phorth on January 23, 2008 at 3:40 am
“Simply can’t wait to I stick this one to the wife!”
Posted by generalrant on January 23, 2008 at 5:18 am
hi dear,
i got you a present from anne summers
Posted by Bootsman on January 23, 2008 at 5:41 am
“With a johnson like that, no wonder he doesn’t get laid so often.”
Posted by Killcount on January 23, 2008 at 5:51 am
Damn it! This is what happens when Angel is on my team
Posted by -S- on January 23, 2008 at 9:54 am
lol I love that 90% of these captions are all Kahk related.
seriously, go count ;)
Posted by -S- on January 23, 2008 at 9:55 am
…am I allowed to say Kahk?
Posted by Samurai on January 23, 2008 at 10:05 am
UNSC Field Manual : ” Trust us: throwing back a Spike Grenade towards enemies seems like a better idea before you try it.”
Posted by Simpsons Rule on January 23, 2008 at 10:48 am
What do you mean I turned the Catch skull on?!
Posted by David on January 23, 2008 at 11:12 am
“On a scale of One to My Testicles Hurt this is at least Severe Discomfort.”
“What happened last time Sgt. Dorby trusted late night infomercials.”
“It hurts when i pee.”
“Not even M.C. Hammer pants could hide this atrocity.”
“Don’t stare at it. Maybe it will go away.”
Posted by SI-117 on January 23, 2008 at 12:41 pm
“A young sweeper finds himself immersed in Youth Grifball.”
Posted by discopete on January 23, 2008 at 1:17 pm
god never mix viagra and battle stims during a cortana briefing!
Posted by Hidden Sentinel on January 23, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Someone in Command thought it would be a good idea to send some new equipment over. Unfortunately, there were small communication errors on sizes.
Posted by Hidden Sentinel on January 23, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Joe was terrified to find out that Spike Grenades are actually grenades, and not huge maces.
Joe: “Erm… *gulp* How do I deactivate one of these things?”
Posted by Gryphon on January 23, 2008 at 2:57 pm
“It’s the not size that counts… it’s where you stick it.”
“When the pin is pulled Mr. Spike Grenade is not our friend.”
“Just relax Mr. Staten, we’ll get this thing removed, no problem. Be aware that you may experiance impotence as a side effect.”
“Halo Idol auditions.”
Posted by ZuP on January 23, 2008 at 4:19 pm
In retrospect, heeding the warning of consulting your doctor if your erection lasts more than four hours was probably a good idea. Jeff does seem to get all the ladies, though.
Posted by ZuP on January 23, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Jeff? I mean Joe.
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 23, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Why can’t I get this image out of my head? 0_0
18)” I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I know what is!”
19)”Swing batter, batter, swing!”
20) ” I don’t know what’s bigger, the grenade or my ego!”
21) “Hey Joe, when we said we were going clubbing, that’s not what we meant…”
22) “I’m a real boy!”
23) The Unholy Hand Grenade.
24) “For Great Justice!”
25) A bad day to be a red shirt.
Posted by PhatPanda117 on January 23, 2008 at 4:50 pm
“Brutal Star Power!”
“Through the Spikes and Flames on Insane Overkill Expert”
“Power Overwhelming!”
“If I stuck it in my pants, I know what you guys would think…”
“Hey, I just realized this tops the picture of me in boxers…to the Easter Egg board!”
“Look at me now, Ma!”
“The “I win” stick!”
“If only Ralph and Piggy got this instead of a conch shell.”
“Say hello to my-hey wait a minute, it’s taller than me!”
“I bought this ‘Swiss Army Knife 2.0′ at some shady dealer…”
“Stay still, we need to add this into the Halo 3 Believe Diorama.”
Posted by PhatPanda117 on January 23, 2008 at 4:51 pm
“Everyone: oooh ahhhh!”
Posted by PhatPanda117 on January 23, 2008 at 4:52 pm
“I got an achievement!”
Posted by PhatPanda117 on January 23, 2008 at 4:54 pm
“I think this counts for around a mole of spikes, don’t you think?”
Posted by PhatPanda117 on January 23, 2008 at 4:57 pm
” It is the last round of the Heavy Brute Spike grenade lifting championships. Staten is up to the stage, lifts, and he almost has it!”
“The spikes are great for getting stuff out of my mouth!”
Posted by PhatPanda117 on January 23, 2008 at 4:57 pm
“Get in my belly!”
Posted by Huntress13 on January 23, 2008 at 5:00 pm
“I see your schwartz is as long as mine.”
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 23, 2008 at 5:45 pm
*Insert excuse for more posting here.*
26) Whack-a-mole, Bungie style.
27) Joseph Staten, Man, Legend, Over-sized Grenade Magnet.
28) “Halo makes me want to break things!”
29) The new Gillette Mach 17 Razor, strong enough for a man, big enough for a Brute.
30) Just your average Joe with a not-so-average grenade.
Posted by tommyp2010 on January 23, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Frankie: “Say hello to my little friend! No Joe, I mean you.”
Posted by Zach Jarrell on January 23, 2008 at 7:40 pm
“How the hell am i supposed to throw this at a banshee in mid air?!?”
“I’ve found my weapon” (from MC saying “I need a weapon”)
“Bow chica bow…. is that smoke i smell?!”
“Hey honey, look at this!!”
*Feeling…. Dizzy….*
“Can you gimmi a hand?”
“I call it my Chupathingy”
Posted by Roflsalad on January 23, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Don’t really know if you’re even going to bother to read these at this point, seeing as you’ve got so many. But what the hell, I’ll give it a shot.
“And with that swing, Joe seems to have hit that Brute deep into left field…’
“JOE! THAT’S NOT A LOLIPOP!”
Posted by bs angel on January 23, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I’m reading every single one of them, regardless of if it falls at the beginning, middle, or end. :)
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 23, 2008 at 8:15 pm
“After surgery, Joe had to stop using ‘Magnums’ and start using ‘MAC Guns’”
Posted by DarkArmada on January 23, 2008 at 8:47 pm
“Aim away from face”
Posted by stavie on January 23, 2008 at 9:12 pm
hung like a horse my ass.. hung like a spartan
Posted by stavie on January 23, 2008 at 9:15 pm
he can has recon?
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 23, 2008 at 9:25 pm
“I bet that thing can put a round clean through a covenant capital ship”
so much for safe sex
Posted by squillagee on January 24, 2008 at 3:34 am
wtf? Who’s the haxor?!
—
Trojan gets overzealous with their new marketing ploy…
—
Posted by Ultra Dolphin on January 24, 2008 at 9:58 am
In war, size really does matter.
Or if you prefer,
Sometimes size does matter.
Posted by PSUSpartan on January 24, 2008 at 10:07 am
“Wilson got stuck by five of these?!?!?!?! Now I know why there’s a memorial.”
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 24, 2008 at 10:58 am
I think at this point, my body is typing despite my mind telling it not to…
31) “Super-Size Me!”
32) Duels of the future are still held at dawn, and each man still gets 10 paces, but the weapon of choice has changed drastically…
33) “I is Porcupine!”
34) “Get off mah property!”
35) Oh, come and rock me Amadeus!
36) Well someone’s secure with their masculinity.
37) Captain Impervious laughs at even the most hazardous of situations.
Posted by GP on January 24, 2008 at 12:27 pm
“Get that Spartan a Trojan!”
Posted by nam on January 24, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Multiplayer Announcer: …Un-friiiiiggin’ believable!
Posted by those squirrels on January 24, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Women tell me I’m Brutal
Posted by Panda Casanova on January 24, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Spike grenades are the new syphilis
Posted by crimson on January 25, 2008 at 12:04 am
1. Oh, YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
2. STAR POWER!!!!
3. Password? What password? F*** THE PASSWORD!!! I’M COMIN’ IN!!!!!
4. Frank! Help! I can’t hold it!
Posted by K. on January 25, 2008 at 1:05 am
Woman frowning…
“There’s no way that will ever go through the back door!”
Posted by Erik on January 25, 2008 at 3:48 pm
corny joke in 3…2…1
“Talk about spiking the punch!”
Posted by NsU Soldier on January 25, 2008 at 4:52 pm
*Consult former excuse for posting more jokes.*
38) “One size fits all my @$$!”
39) Everything is bigger in Texas.
40) “Well, I got mine!”
41) The Impregnator 5000 (some assembly required).
42) “Ah…that’s the spot…”
Posted by MerryDragon on January 25, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Pvt. Duke’s squad all agreed that even though he was a short guy, he had a lot of heart. And balls. Very, very big balls.
Posted by WC Snaks on January 25, 2008 at 10:09 pm
A CHALLENGER APPEARS!!!
Posted by WC Snaks on January 25, 2008 at 10:11 pm
(Not focusing on the spike this time.)
Every time Staten laughs, his double chin sinks into his chest.
Posted by thecanvasgrey on January 25, 2008 at 10:31 pm
My oh my…don’t think I can add much to this except being a woman I’d have to sing:
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had big one, Lord I almost died!
But I’d spent so many years waiting to fight a guy like you,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on…
But there you are, you big ole lug,
I was ready for Big Daddy and you’ve brought me a spiked club!
I should have known that it was bulls**t, just a sad pathetic lie,
Did you think I’d stumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die?
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I’ve got the power,
My GAMING’s gonna thrive!
I have lots of time to play, I will never take defeat!
Now move over give me your Lazy boy seat!
Go on now – go, run for the door,
Don’t you promise me good fighting, then bring a spiked torpedo!
Got to get me some good hits on, did you think I’d not find out!?
Do you think we’re only joking and that gurth don’t really count??!!
Hey! Hey!
Posted by JawReich on January 25, 2008 at 11:03 pm
“where can I get that mod?’
Posted by JawReich on January 26, 2008 at 6:25 am
“haxor”
Posted by Iain McNulty on January 27, 2008 at 4:07 am
“If only life were like a video game, this could make for some interesting machinima”
Posted by Christopher on January 27, 2008 at 9:14 am
canvasgrey that was hilarious, you go girl…
Rein.
Posted by BZ on January 27, 2008 at 10:30 am
“Pull up! PULL UP!!!”
Posted by Dan the Stick on January 27, 2008 at 2:47 pm
“Hey, you getting this on film? I am so posting this on Youtube!”
Posted by badhobo on January 27, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I’m hammered, now let’s go clubbin’!