Top Ten Things I Want for the Holidays

Dear Santa,

I’ve been good this year. Really! While my plasma grenades still tend to land on the backs of my teammates, my betrayals miraculously are at an all time low. I’ve stopped teabagging my friends every other second and instead have switched to only teabagging them when they deserve it (it’s not my fault they deserve it frequently). I try to share the shotgun now too. Sometimes I will even let a teammate use up a whole clip before I kill them for it. See, told ya I’ve been good! So here’s my list of things I would like for the holidays : (I decided to be low maintenance this year. You’re welcome.)

• Real plasma grenades in different colors to decorate my Christmas tree

• A Les Paul Guitar Hero controller covered completely in pink Swarovski crystals

• A Gauss turret to mount on the back of my car

• Two Ponockies with a Ponocky house so I can play My Little Pony

• A real life flaming helmet that is somehow not a fire hazard

• Extra life power-ups for my Xbox 360 to ward off my next RRoD episode

• A shotgun that shoots glitter, hearts, and butterflies (much like my Halo shotgun does)

• An entire wall in my living room painted in a Hexic-themed mural with a black pearl flower as the focal point

• A bubbleshield with a handle attached that doubles as an umbrella

• Master Chief wearing only his crotch plate and helmet

*This list is day 22 in The Blue Skittle’s Community 2007 Advent Calendar.