Top Ten Break-Up Lines for Master Chief

19 12 2007

I am sure Master Chief has had his share of romantic love interests. He’s a studly seven foot tall Spartan who not only packs a magnum on his back but also one in his pants. Adoring fans everywhere worship the very ground he walks on. You know he’s getting some. On a frequent basis.

master chief tear

I am also sure that his relationships are more of the fleeting variety as he travels extensively and has very important things to do (like saving Earth). While I unfortunately haven’t been one of his flings (not to say I wouldn’t if he showed up on my doorstep wearing only his crotch plate), I imagine these are the lines he uses when it is time to move on.

Top Ten Lines Master Chief Uses for Break-Ups

Remember how I told Cortana to wake me if she needed me? It’s kinda like that, except I don’t want you to wake me when you need me.

You only let me arm my bomb through the front entrance of your base. It’s time I find someone who will allow me access from the rear.

At first I thought your betrayals were accidents. But that last one was a spike grenade to the heart. I’m finished with this fight.

Multiteam was fun, but I think it’s time to move onto Lone Wolves now.*

At the beginning you were my grav lift, my overshield, my forever regenerator. Now you are nothing but a power drain.

You’ve held my territory uncontested for too long. It’s time for me to be king of someone else’s hill.

Breaking news in the Halo world. You are not always the VIP.

It’s not me. It’s you. And the fact that you have let pretty much every Spartan ever capture your flag.

I already have one female bitching in my ear every other second. I don’t need another one.

Luke’s gonna be the only one buying you steak dinners now.

*inspired by -S-


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30 responses to “Top Ten Break-Up Lines for Master Chief”

19 12 2007
-S- (07:24:12) :

Haha!! I totally got a shout-out! I can’t get enough of these Angel, seriously theyre too good. #1 made me lol the hardest (If we’re starting from the top), and after reading the “Not always the VIP” I wanted to hear an imaginary studio audience in the background going Oooooooo!! Totally awesome.

…What if the Chief showed up wearing everything…except the crotch plate? Ah whatever, I’d be just as big a nerd if I didn’t admit that Cortana is definitely a fine piece of visual hotness (h1 only) and that if the Chief showed up, i’d probably be drooling too.

…I mean what

19 12 2007
Kingster27 (09:09:42) :

” I think that it’s time we considered ‘Sticking’ other people.”

19 12 2007
-S- (12:49:01) :

‘You cheated, and put my heart on standby…’

19 12 2007
bs angel (12:54:05) :

LOL … Those are both awesome.

I am a little scared that you would drool over MC though -S- … ;)

19 12 2007
Cayote (13:14:39) :

OUCH! LOL!

19 12 2007
TTL L askan (13:42:49) :

Territory lost.

Bomb returned.

Game over.

19 12 2007
Pundarquartis (14:31:30) :

Superb… *applause*

19 12 2007
thewilleffect (19:56:46) :

I gotta say, those are pretty funny.

20 12 2007
Silvercube (05:49:07) :

I have never broken up or been broken up etc. so I don’t quite understand this article.

“You broke my bubble shield, its over.”

20 12 2007
-S- (07:24:43) :

Haahaha nooo, I have no idea what you’re talking about angel :)

LoL looking back at that bomb arm access through the rear one…good god. That’s like the most graphic breakup line ever.

“The two of us were as perfect as a mongoose…now I just want to be a ghost”

20 12 2007
Eric (09:09:11) :

“It’s time I find someone who will allow me access from the rear.”

HAHAH.

20 12 2007
Morpheus (11:15:59) :

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let those people in Matchmaking get the Two For One any longer. I’m leaving you.”

20 12 2007
momohine (11:16:22) :

Love the “acess from the rear”!!!

20 12 2007
tyler (11:22:31) :

”When we met it was like a plasma grenade but now that we are apart its like that same grenade detonated

20 12 2007
Mintz (12:08:33) :

Hahah, that second-to-last one was genius!

20 12 2007
Gryphon (12:14:42) :

Our love was like a Mongoose; fast, fun and we could always score. Now it’s like a Elephant; painfully slow, loud and completely pointless.

20 12 2007
XMixMasterX (15:25:23) :

Great stuff - as usual

20 12 2007
Ellen (15:31:50) :

lmao… great stuff, I’ll have to show it to my boyfriend as he plays Halo as well.

20 12 2007
tyler (15:52:14) :

@Gryphon
LMFAO

20 12 2007
Top Posts « WordPress.com (17:00:09) :

[...] Top Ten Break-Up Lines for Master Chief I am sure Master Chief has had his share of romantic love interests. He’s a studly seven foot tall Spartan who […] [...]

20 12 2007
joeb454 (17:07:12) :

Lol, very nice…though I have to ask, how do you add your gamercard to the sidebar?

20 12 2007
Blogger formerly known as Duffboy (17:17:47) :

Too funny for words!

20 12 2007
Juggling Joker (18:35:54) :

Top ten lists get funnier every time!

20 12 2007
frmad (19:43:48) :

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20 12 2007
Elnea (21:46:39) :

Crotch Plate? Crotch Plate?!?!

Please use the proper term: Spartan Man Missile Restrainer Container.

Sheesh.

;-)

20 12 2007
KoRnyMunKy (22:21:01) :

I need a weapon not a whippin…

20 12 2007
Calliope (22:29:24) :

ROFL @ Elnea.

I love this BS! Hahaha.

“It’s not me. It’s you. And the fact that you have let pretty much every Spartan ever capture your flag.” LOL!

21 12 2007
bs angel (00:37:32) :

Ah man, “Spartan Man Missile Restrainer Container” is freakin’ awesome!

21 12 2007
Steve (09:41:47) :

Silvercube,
I have never broken up or been broken up etc. so I don’t quite understand this article.

…then you need to move out of your momma’s basement.

21 12 2007
-S- (09:54:11) :

lol very nice Steve, very nice.

…burning dateless posters on a video game blog eh? don’t make me call up YOUR mom, or daddy’s gonna issue some spankings when he gets home.

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