I am sure Master Chief has had his share of romantic love interests. He’s a studly seven foot tall Spartan who not only packs a magnum on his back but also one in his pants. Adoring fans everywhere worship the very ground he walks on. You know he’s getting some. On a frequent basis.
I am also sure that his relationships are more of the fleeting variety as he travels extensively and has very important things to do (like saving Earth). While I unfortunately haven’t been one of his flings (not to say I wouldn’t if he showed up on my doorstep wearing only his crotch plate), I imagine these are the lines he uses when it is time to move on.
Top Ten Lines Master Chief Uses for Break-Ups
Remember how I told Cortana to wake me if she needed me? It’s kinda like that, except I don’t want you to wake me when you need me.
You only let me arm my bomb through the front entrance of your base. It’s time I find someone who will allow me access from the rear.
At first I thought your betrayals were accidents. But that last one was a spike grenade to the heart. I’m finished with this fight.
Multiteam was fun, but I think it’s time to move onto Lone Wolves now.*
At the beginning you were my grav lift, my overshield, my forever regenerator. Now you are nothing but a power drain.
You’ve held my territory uncontested for too long. It’s time for me to be king of someone else’s hill.
Breaking news in the Halo world. You are not always the VIP.
It’s not me. It’s you. And the fact that you have let pretty much every Spartan ever capture your flag.
I already have one female bitching in my ear every other second. I don’t need another one.
Luke’s gonna be the only one buying you steak dinners now.
*inspired by -S-
Posted by -S- on December 19, 2007 at 7:24 am
Haha!! I totally got a shout-out! I can’t get enough of these Angel, seriously theyre too good. #1 made me lol the hardest (If we’re starting from the top), and after reading the “Not always the VIP” I wanted to hear an imaginary studio audience in the background going Oooooooo!! Totally awesome.
…What if the Chief showed up wearing everything…except the crotch plate? Ah whatever, I’d be just as big a nerd if I didn’t admit that Cortana is definitely a fine piece of visual hotness (h1 only) and that if the Chief showed up, i’d probably be drooling too.
…I mean what
Posted by Kingster27 on December 19, 2007 at 9:09 am
” I think that it’s time we considered ‘Sticking’ other people.”
Posted by -S- on December 19, 2007 at 12:49 pm
‘You cheated, and put my heart on standby…’
Posted by bs angel on December 19, 2007 at 12:54 pm
LOL … Those are both awesome.
I am a little scared that you would drool over MC though -S- … ;)
Posted by Cayote on December 19, 2007 at 1:14 pm
OUCH! LOL!
Posted by TTL L askan on December 19, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Territory lost.
Bomb returned.
Game over.
Posted by Pundarquartis on December 19, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Superb… *applause*
Posted by thewilleffect on December 19, 2007 at 7:56 pm
I gotta say, those are pretty funny.
Posted by Silvercube on December 20, 2007 at 5:49 am
I have never broken up or been broken up etc. so I don’t quite understand this article.
“You broke my bubble shield, its over.”
Posted by -S- on December 20, 2007 at 7:24 am
Haahaha nooo, I have no idea what you’re talking about angel :)
LoL looking back at that bomb arm access through the rear one…good god. That’s like the most graphic breakup line ever.
“The two of us were as perfect as a mongoose…now I just want to be a ghost”
Posted by Eric on December 20, 2007 at 9:09 am
“It’s time I find someone who will allow me access from the rear.”
HAHAH.
Posted by Morpheus on December 20, 2007 at 11:15 am
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let those people in Matchmaking get the Two For One any longer. I’m leaving you.”
Posted by momohine on December 20, 2007 at 11:16 am
Love the “acess from the rear”!!!
Posted by tyler on December 20, 2007 at 11:22 am
”When we met it was like a plasma grenade but now that we are apart its like that same grenade detonated
Posted by Mintz on December 20, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Hahah, that second-to-last one was genius!
Posted by Gryphon on December 20, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Our love was like a Mongoose; fast, fun and we could always score. Now it’s like a Elephant; painfully slow, loud and completely pointless.
Posted by XMixMasterX on December 20, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Great stuff – as usual
Posted by Ellen on December 20, 2007 at 3:31 pm
lmao… great stuff, I’ll have to show it to my boyfriend as he plays Halo as well.
Posted by tyler on December 20, 2007 at 3:52 pm
@Gryphon
LMFAO
Posted by Top Posts « WordPress.com on December 20, 2007 at 5:00 pm
[...] Top Ten Break-Up Lines for Master Chief I am sure Master Chief has had his share of romantic love interests. He’s a studly seven foot tall Spartan who […] [...]
Posted by joeb454 on December 20, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Lol, very nice…though I have to ask, how do you add your gamercard to the sidebar?
Posted by Blogger formerly known as Duffboy on December 20, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Too funny for words!
Posted by Juggling Joker on December 20, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Top ten lists get funnier every time!
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Posted by Elnea on December 20, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Crotch Plate? Crotch Plate?!?!
Please use the proper term: Spartan Man Missile Restrainer Container.
Sheesh.
;-)
Posted by KoRnyMunKy on December 20, 2007 at 10:21 pm
I need a weapon not a whippin…
Posted by Calliope on December 20, 2007 at 10:29 pm
ROFL @ Elnea.
I love this BS! Hahaha.
“It’s not me. It’s you. And the fact that you have let pretty much every Spartan ever capture your flag.” LOL!
Posted by bs angel on December 21, 2007 at 12:37 am
Ah man, “Spartan Man Missile Restrainer Container” is freakin’ awesome!
Posted by Steve on December 21, 2007 at 9:41 am
Silvercube,
I have never broken up or been broken up etc. so I don’t quite understand this article.
…then you need to move out of your momma’s basement.
Posted by -S- on December 21, 2007 at 9:54 am
lol very nice Steve, very nice.
…burning dateless posters on a video game blog eh? don’t make me call up YOUR mom, or daddy’s gonna issue some spankings when he gets home.