Top Ten Break-Up Lines for Master Chief
December 19, 2007 30 Comments
I am sure Master Chief has had his share of romantic love interests. He’s a studly seven foot tall Spartan who not only packs a magnum on his back but also one in his pants. Adoring fans everywhere worship the very ground he walks on. You know he’s getting some. On a frequent basis.
I am also sure that his relationships are more of the fleeting variety as he travels extensively and has very important things to do (like saving Earth). While I unfortunately haven’t been one of his flings (not to say I wouldn’t if he showed up on my doorstep wearing only his crotch plate), I imagine these are the lines he uses when it is time to move on.
Top Ten Lines Master Chief Uses for Break-Ups
Remember how I told Cortana to wake me if she needed me? It’s kinda like that, except I don’t want you to wake me when you need me.
You only let me arm my bomb through the front entrance of your base. It’s time I find someone who will allow me access from the rear.
At first I thought your betrayals were accidents. But that last one was a spike grenade to the heart. I’m finished with this fight.
Multiteam was fun, but I think it’s time to move onto Lone Wolves now.*
At the beginning you were my grav lift, my overshield, my forever regenerator. Now you are nothing but a power drain.
You’ve held my territory uncontested for too long. It’s time for me to be king of someone else’s hill.
Breaking news in the Halo world. You are not always the VIP.
It’s not me. It’s you. And the fact that you have let pretty much every Spartan ever capture your flag.
I already have one female bitching in my ear every other second. I don’t need another one.
Luke’s gonna be the only one buying you steak dinners now.
*inspired by -S-
Haha!! I totally got a shout-out! I can’t get enough of these Angel, seriously theyre too good. #1 made me lol the hardest (If we’re starting from the top), and after reading the “Not always the VIP” I wanted to hear an imaginary studio audience in the background going Oooooooo!! Totally awesome.
…What if the Chief showed up wearing everything…except the crotch plate? Ah whatever, I’d be just as big a nerd if I didn’t admit that Cortana is definitely a fine piece of visual hotness (h1 only) and that if the Chief showed up, i’d probably be drooling too.
…I mean what
” I think that it’s time we considered ‘Sticking’ other people.”
‘You cheated, and put my heart on standby…’
LOL … Those are both awesome.
I am a little scared that you would drool over MC though -S- … ;)
OUCH! LOL!
Territory lost.
Bomb returned.
Game over.
Superb… *applause*
I gotta say, those are pretty funny.
I have never broken up or been broken up etc. so I don’t quite understand this article.
“You broke my bubble shield, its over.”
Haahaha nooo, I have no idea what you’re talking about angel :)
LoL looking back at that bomb arm access through the rear one…good god. That’s like the most graphic breakup line ever.
“The two of us were as perfect as a mongoose…now I just want to be a ghost”
“It’s time I find someone who will allow me access from the rear.”
HAHAH.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let those people in Matchmaking get the Two For One any longer. I’m leaving you.”
Love the “acess from the rear”!!!
”When we met it was like a plasma grenade but now that we are apart its like that same grenade detonated
Hahah, that second-to-last one was genius!
Our love was like a Mongoose; fast, fun and we could always score. Now it’s like a Elephant; painfully slow, loud and completely pointless.
Great stuff – as usual
lmao… great stuff, I’ll have to show it to my boyfriend as he plays Halo as well.
@Gryphon
LMFAO
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Lol, very nice…though I have to ask, how do you add your gamercard to the sidebar?
Too funny for words!
Top ten lists get funnier every time!
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Crotch Plate? Crotch Plate?!?!
Please use the proper term: Spartan Man Missile Restrainer Container.
Sheesh.
;-)
I need a weapon not a whippin…
ROFL @ Elnea.
I love this BS! Hahaha.
“It’s not me. It’s you. And the fact that you have let pretty much every Spartan ever capture your flag.” LOL!
Ah man, “Spartan Man Missile Restrainer Container” is freakin’ awesome!
Silvercube,
I have never broken up or been broken up etc. so I don’t quite understand this article.
…then you need to move out of your momma’s basement.
lol very nice Steve, very nice.
…burning dateless posters on a video game blog eh? don’t make me call up YOUR mom, or daddy’s gonna issue some spankings when he gets home.