Boosting to 5 Star Douchebaggery

Warning : There is a big ol’ ass in this article that may not be appropriate for work. Oh, there is also a picture of one as well. You have been warned.

5 star general medalGrunts R Us excitedly reported yesterday that someone finally reached the Halo 3 rank of 5 Star General. The medal is shiny and new. The methods used to get the medal however are old and tiresome.

ProJecT TimeZ used the tried and true technique of “boosting” to reach this elusive rank. If you are not familiar with that word in this sense, in the simplest of terms it means the games this person played to achieve this rank were all rigged. This gamer has approximately 4,600 games of Social Doubles where he consistently plays the same team over and over. Each time the other team quits, thus “boosting” the remaining team’s experience. It only takes two people to do this as each person can sign in a dummy guest account. Apparently if you do it over 4,600 times you can be a 5 Star General. I believe it also makes you a 5 Star Ass. I made him a special medal, all five stars included.

five star ass medal

I was interested in knowing just how much time this gamer spent on achieving this picture he now gets next to his gamertag. I went to his 11th page of games where he plays through all 25 of those games in one sitting. It took him 29 minutes 47 seconds to boost through those 25 games. If you divide 1,787 (the number of seconds) by 25 (the number of games), you get an average of 71.48 meaning it takes him approximately 71.48 seconds to complete each boosted game. Multiply that number by 4,600 (the approximate number of games he has boosted in Social Doubles) and you get the figure of 5,480 minutes (or 328,808 seconds) he has wasted on this endeavor. Over ninety hours (91.33) spent on achieving a picture with five stars on it. Almost four complete days (3.81) spent on something that bears no significance on real life. All of that time spent starting games and quitting games without actually playing them or enjoying them.

With all that wasted time he could have :

  • watched 61 (90 minute) movies
  • flown the Concord round trip from New York to London and back again 14 times
  • gone to the moon (he would have only had enough time for one leg though so I guess he isn’t coming back)
  • watched 27 college football games
  • watched 33 baseball games
  • thrown 704,085 fastballs
  • had sex 196 times (the US average is 28 minutes per episode)
  • had sex 548 times if he lived in Thailand (they average 10 minutes per episode)
  • written this article 69 times
  • danced to Feels Just Like It Should on DDR Universe 1455 times
  • played Free Bird on Guitar Hero II 609 times

And most importantly, he could have played 457 real games of Halo 3.

*What are your ideas of other things he could have done with his time?

51 Responses to Boosting to 5 Star Douchebaggery

  1. Blake says:

    Not be gay.

  2. Silvercube says:

    lol, you like that DDR song? There are better options…

    Umm so he got a rank? Big Deal.. He gets his 15 minutes of fame..
    Ranks are meaningless to me.

    What would I have done in that time?

    1)Eat food!
    2)Do homework
    3)Play other games besides Halo
    4)Sleep.
    5)Would go and visit family.. if I had money : )

  3. Henri says:

    6) Leave house. Meet and/or talk with other human beings.

  4. ResilientMonkey says:

    Let see, at roughly 10 hours each to play through campaign (I like to watch the cut-scenes and listen to the in-game dialog) he could have finished the fight 9 times. This would have kept him from wasting server time for those guys that actually want to play matchmaking.

    Love the medal Angel, it’s perfect for him.

  5. LittleMikey says:

    One awesome post, I hate stat boosters and I think people should do this game the old fashioned way ^_^;

  6. Helveck says:

    I hope he reads this article, and realizes how much of his pathetic life he is wasted…and just fast tracks the rest of it with a rope now. Honestly, people who boost…no lives, no respect, no real gain. Cut it the f–k out. ;)

    Thats my two cents =D

  7. Excardon says:

    Just something really dumb to do. Now if he wants to play a real game, he’s going to get matched up against people who have earned high ranks legitally. This means he’s just going to get his ass handed to him whenever he tries to play.

  8. solidmercury says:

    Actually, Excardon, the sad thing is, his EXP rank has no bearing on who he’s matched with… However, unless he cheated, he actually HAS earned his rank of 50 that’s required to be a general. You would think knowing he has a really high Skill level would be enough, but he had to go and prove he was still an insecure douche by EXP whoring.

  9. Smurfa says:

    Hahaha, nice medal angel. I would have been impressed if he actually had managed to become a 5 star general, but as I see it know he is no more than a recruit. Cheaters are the scum of the Earth.

  10. Tony says:

    Look on the bright side — he’s one less Halo 3 kiddie we’ll have to deal with in our matches. I say good riddance.

    On a serious note, how can Bungie not catch something like this? Seems like a simple query to catch these kinds of shenanigans.

  11. Smokeblue says:

    Ok, while I have no shortage of hatred and disgust reserved for cheaters, especially those who made Halo 2 a miserable experience at times, for the sake of devil’s advocate, I’d like to point something out here. While, through the use of boosting, this guy has signifcantly decreased the time it would have taken him to earn his 5-star image, it’s not as though he wouldn’t have eventually gotten it anyway. While you can cheat your way to higher experience, you can’t do the same with rank; a point Bungie made clear when that Basketball lamer admited to boosting a few weeks back. So his rank of 50 is a genuine marker of skill. Experience, meanwhile, is really just a representation of how long you’ve been playing. Unless a player is just losing ridiculous amounts of games (in which case he’d never have gotten a rank of 50, anyway), his experience is going to consistantly climb. So, yeah, this guy cheated the system to to save time, but that’s all he really saved. He still had to earn his rank the same as all of us.

    That all being said, it’s incredibley lame that this guy wasted 91 hours garnering all the experience, especially since we can all see how he did it. It’s not like he’s the only person with a rank of 50, so being first to get the 5-stars without just playing the number of games needed to do so doesn’t really make him all that special. But it’s lame in a sort of sad, pathetic way. Not in a way that’s upsetting, at least to me.

    I think we’d be better off forgetting this loser than making such a big deal out of it. I mean, really, the guy spent NINETY-ONE HOURS doing this. Don’t give him the satisfaction of being talked about. That’s my two cents, anyway.

  12. Eric says:

    Hahah, way to pwn this guy.

  13. Brian says:

    The only problem with saying that he earned a 50 still level is that skill level means nothing in halo 3 right now, that just means he played the game early and often before good players and everyone else got to the ranks they deserve. I’ve played against multiple 50′s, 49′s, et.c. and beat their asses. Skill level means nothing everyone has a high highest skill right now that played the game a lot right away. If they reset the skill levels but not the exp now that everyone has the game that’s gonna get it, then I’d be impressed, but honestly the skill and exp means nothing in Halo 3, in Halo 2 it was hard to get past 35 or so for the vast majority of players and people over 40 were legitimately good. I don’t give anyone credit for their highest skills, including myself, cuz I know who I played against getting there, and it wasn’t the cream of the crop. Hopefully when Bungie finally gives us an update and some maps they reset the skills

  14. bs angel says:

    Excellent points.

    One thing I would like to stress is that boosting is cheating. It doesn’t matter if it is in an unranked playlist, cheating is cheating regardless of the category you choose to do it in.

    I am thankful that this person’s boosting did not affect anybody else’s playing experience. Looking at his games, he had partners in crime helping him with his goal. So your playing experience and my playing experience remains unmarred. What is ruined is the first person who would have reached that experience level legitimately. But in the whole scope of things, our skill levels and our experience points are as important or not important as we make them regardless of how other people are achieving their goals.

  15. Smokeblue says:

    @ Brian

    Well, that’s alegitimate point. But to me, that just makes the ranking in general less impressive, and makes this even less worth getting upset about. Much like the Hayabusa helmet and the katana, these symbols are becoming so pervasive that no one is likely to be that amazed by them anymore now that anyone can get them, without really working that hard for it. Which means he spent 91 hours for something no one will care about. Again, that’s not infuriating, it’s both hilarious and pathetic.

  16. bs angel says:

    Smokeblue, that is the exact thing that has me so intrigued. When I first heard this story, I wasn’t angry or upset about the cheating. Instead I was curious how much time he spent to reach this goal. That is why I did all the number crunching. Almost four entire days is an extremely long amount of time to just be sitting there starting and quitting games. I find it absolutely fascinating what some people will do for a little picture next to their name.

  17. Smokeblue says:

    @ bs angel

    That’s very true, it is cheating. But in this case, it’s something so petty and unimportant, that I just don’t see expending the effort to be upset about it.

    As for its effect on the first legitimate player to earn the experience: as Brian pointed out, the ranking system as already flawed thanks to the initially small pool of players at launch that allowed many to climb the ladders before really strong competition could even things out. So even if this douche hadn’t faked his way to the top of experience, the next person to take the General rating would still have obtained his rank without having to put up a real fight.

    Put another way, if this guy’s level 50 isn’t worth much, then neither is the next guy’s. The general rank would have been more or less meaningless no matter who captured it first.

    He is still a douche, though, and I wholly support his being awarded the Medal of Assery.

  18. Smokeblue says:

    @bs angel

    Oh, no kidding. I think the whole achievements craze is really a little silly. For my part, I like games that offer achievements for unique or challenging things that I might of otherwise not thought or bothered to do. There’s a ton of these in the Orange Box, for instance, where the achievements encourage you to kill enemies with sinks and other bizzare tasks. It adds a lot of flavor to some games, and helps you to get the most out of them. But playing through Barbie’s Cosmotology School for 1000 points just seems asinine and inane. Your gamer score really earns you nothing, not even notiroity, and reflects nothing more than the number of things you’ve played, and for how long. Faking that, or padding it with games you don’t care about is just a monumental waste of time, it’s absurd.

    And the best thing about it is that by and large, the only people hurt by this are the people wasting their time.

  19. bs angel says:

    Barbie’s Cosmetology School? Why have I not heard of this game?!

    We are very much on the same page. The achievements I enjoy the most are the ones they make you reach for and the ones that add to the replay value of the game. Quake was the same way with the weapon achievements and I had a blast pushing myself to get those. Sometimes they add an extra element to the game. Other times they don’t.

    I personally don’t worry much about achievements, ranks, and things of that matter. To make a point, I just achieved my first silver rank last weekend. I am not even sure what it is called, but I no longer have my gold bars! LOL … All I want is a good game. The rest doesn’t matter to me.

  20. Smokeblue says:

    @bs angel

    I should mention that alot of the tone in my response came from how others were reacting to this guy, not neccessarily you.

    Specifcally, Louis Wu over at HBO seemed particularly incessed about it, and I was mainly addressing how getting offended and upset over something like this isn’t really worthwhile. Unlke the standbyers and modderins in Halo 2, faking one’s rank doesn’t really affect anyone else. Even if the next person to take the General rating had earned it in every sense of the word, he’d still be celebrated thanks to our ability to determine how exactly they achieved it. Meanwhile, Senor Douche over here will be forgotten before very long at all.

    As an added bonus, if he really does suck, he either has to stop playing the playlist he’s a 50 in, and thus save us all having to play with him, or continue playing until he ranks down from suckage and loses his Medal. Win/win far as I can tell :-).

  21. Smokeblue says:

    @bs angel

    Yeah, I think we’re just reaffirming how much we agree at this point :-P.

    I might as well take the opportunity to commend you on an excellent blog, though, since I’ve been following it for a long time now. It’s great to see the Halo community and the gaming community at large expanding in scope so much. There’s a lot of old school geeks who see the culture becoming mainstream as losing our individuality to the same people who ostrizized us in the past. It’s nice to see that more than likely all it really means is finding that the world is filled with people who were geeks all along and simply needed a calling to bring them out ^_^.

  22. bs angel says:

    I didn’t pick up any tone from you at all. I love it when discussions break out and people let their thoughts known. There is such a wide variety of opinions on subjects like this, it is quite interesting.

    Yes, Louis Wu seems irritated by it. I wonder if perhaps there are greater repercussions from things like that than what immediately come to mind. He mentioned the H2 leaderboards that got demolished because of all the cheaters. That affected numerous players that worked hard and legitimately for their ranks to see where they stand against the greater community. I wonder how else things like this could affect the general Halo 3 gaming population. I am going to ponder that one.

    (And thank you for your kind words. I am thankful I have reached an age where I am who I am and I have no qualms about it. I am geek, hear me roar!)

  23. Smokeblue says:

    @bs angel

    Yeah, the H2 boards got corrupted pretty bad. But as Bungie pointed out, the way the system works this time around keeps experience boosting from having the same effect. It’s still cheating, but it’s telling that Bungie as acknowledged it’s not something they intend to punish.

    The fact is, the TrueSkill level ranks are the real sign of skill, and so far, it doesn’t seem people have found a way to cheat them. Even so, as Brian mentioned, most of the current high rankers got up there before the real competition showed up to play, so already there validity is a bit in question. I wouldn’t be all the suprised to find Bungie resetting them around the release of the new maps to help even the score. And if that happens, it won’t because of Douchey McDoucherson (ya like all the new variants I’m coming up with here :-P), but because of the unavoidable consequence of having a smaller players pool at launch.

    Oh and I think Barbie’s Cosmatology School got delayed so they could add normal mapping to the botox-smiles on the game characters ;-).

  24. momohine says:

    First of all, great blog!

    And what does Bungie think of this? I hope that they call him out on it in their weekly update. I know they don’t like cheaters. :)

    This guy is clearly lame.

    Please continue to publish fabulous posts!!!

  25. Dustin says:

    Well, maybe this guy didn’t do it for the “picture”, quite honestly he just got more out of this than just a picture, he got front page of HBO and a few people writing a whole story about him. HE got fame and im sure he is satisfied no matter what.

    Although, yes he could have been spending more time earning his fame honrably.

  26. Pingback: Boosting to 5 Star Douchebaggery at grog.blog

  27. Morpheus says:

    Hopefully, they’ve banned the bastard.

  28. i guess he could have researched and written this post about 60 times….

  29. fruffy says:

    I like the fact that you brought up sex. There is no way a guy who plays (cheats at) Halo this much gets laid often. I’m guessing he could have had sex 2700 times. . . with himself. I’d bet he’d be looking at that picture with 5 stars on it the whole time too.

  30. Stickman says:

    i love playing Halo, theres no need in boosting your rank, i dont even care about mine.

  31. Cunbelin says:

    I think the frustration comes from years of seeing fun things spoiled by people. I mean it’s not terribly fun when someone reaches a mile mark in your game but only by abusing the system. Of course there is always the play to win school of thought, I tend to enjoy my scrubhood though.

  32. Hopefully having reached his goal of:

    A. Becoming a general grade Ass-Hole
    B. Cheating
    C. Wasting a lot of time
    D. Getting a small picture next to his name

    He will now leave Halo forever, never to be seen again…

  33. tuttysan says:

    She could have practiced Yoga Nidra 182 times and elevate himself to a higher spiritual state.

  34. Hey, this is Halo 3…it’s expected that someone would do this!

    And “ProJecT TimeZ” just so happened to be That Guy.

  35. Cody says:

    Achievements like that are only worth it if you don’t cheat. And even then, it still makes you look pretty sad to have wasted so much time on a video game. Not that it doesn’t with this guy…

    I don’t understand the point behind cheating like this. Like in CS or other multiplayer games. Sure, it racks up the kills, but it doesn’t make you a better player. If someone catches you when your aimbot isn’t on, you’re still going to suck. It just ruins the experience for the rest of us. I think I’d rather reach that rank over a few hundred hours of casual, on-and-off playing than 91 hours of cheating.

  36. Josh says:

    It took me a while to realise, a while ago, that there was a reason why I, a Sergeant (I said a while ago :P) could run rings around most of the Majors I played.
    I really, really, don’t get the point of doing this.

  37. Cindy says:

    It seems no matter what game is played, there are always A$$HATS like this guy who have to be #1 at any cost.

    Hopefully, at some point he will realize it is a ‘hollow’ accomplishment at best.

  38. XMixMasterX says:

    You’re awesome – thanks for making boosters look like the asses they are.

    Much love

    PS – love the title

  39. Ben says:

    Met a real, live girl (his mom doesn’t count – nor his sister).

  40. What could he have done with this time? Maybe get a life.

    Ultimately, people like that don’t bother me as long as their cheating ways don’t affect my game. I like achievements, but I would never cheat to get any of them. I mean, really, what a colossal waste of time to sit there for so many hours and not even play a game. The fact that he spent so much time for something that matters so little is funny to me. And you know this dorko is bragging to everyone who’ll listen that he’s the greatest gamer evahrz1!1!11!!!, and that he pwnzorz everyone in Halo, etc.

    So, fine, you are teh 1337 Halo player. Sure you cheated, but you have a sexay medal, so, like, you’re cool.

  41. Pfhoenix says:

    In the end, people that boost up their skill/rank only make it that much easier for those that earn their skill/rank to go up higher faster by beating up on the inflated people.

  42. roebigbro says:

    Boosters and other Cheaters are so GAY. Most of the world knows this but somehow they still think they are so kewl. Idiots they are. Yoda speak…

  43. Fawad says:

    Now the worst thing that can happen to him is that he gets stripped off the medal by Bungie for illegimate games..

    LoLzzz

  44. Pingback: Halo 3: Lazy Bum Boosts For General Grade 4 Rank. « Game Ramble

  45. max. says:

    Go outside.

  46. Jason says:

    @ Smokeblue

    Just so you know once you get 50 as your highest skill it doesn’t matter if you go down, it goes off of highest ever achieved. Also I didn’t read all the comments so I’m not sure if it’s been mentioned, but I think he also boosted to get his 50. If you look back far enough and pay attention to his lone wolf games, he’s matched up with this HiTTman guy in every single one meaning they were entering the same games some how… I’m not sure if everyone he played was in on it but if you have 2 people working together in a ffa it’s pretty easy to get up.

  47. sam ginge says:

    i think he could get a LIFE

  48. Andrew King says:

    I played H3 with him last night lol, seemed like he was decent at the game but I was actually better.

  49. Well he got erased on Bungie.net i think, cause if you look for him he has no games at all. But he created a new tag:

    http://www.bungie.net/Stats/Halo3/Default.aspx?player=ProJecT%20TimeZz

  50. I loved this article.

  51. thx 1337 says:

    you know if you boost in double exp it takes half the time

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