Hawty McBloggy Invites You to Play

*Warning – The intended audience for this article is mature adults whose vocabulary resembles a sailor’s. If you need a bar of soap to wash out your mouth on a daily basis, you are in the right place. If you say butthole instead of asshole, I recommend you come back tomorrow when I will be featuring butterflies and rainbows.

I found a delightfully offensive shop on Etsy the other day called Vandalized Vintage. Trixiedelicious creates “art for people with a sense of humour”. I must have a sense of humor because I find her pieces amazing. She takes one of a kind vintage plates and turns them into conversation starters for your dining room. Here are some of my favorites from her current selection.

Pussy plate

Purchase here : Trixiedelicious’s Shop
Price : $15
Note : You know that person that always camps the base with a sword or shotgun but never shows their face anywhere else? This plate is for them. Oh wait, that’s me. Damn it. This plate is for the sweet very skilled camper that plays excellent defense. Yeah.

Bastard plate

Purchase here : Trixiedelicious’s Shop
Price : $25
Note : I actually use the word “bastard” as a petname. If I have called you that before, you know I like you. I dedicate this one to all my friends whom I care enough about to call them this on a regular basis.

Bullshit plate

Purchase here : Trixiedelicious’s Shop
Price : $25
Note : Remember all those times you were in a close range battle with someone and you shotty-ed them to the face multiple times, landed about 50 melees, and they simply looked at you the wrong way and you fell over dead? Freakin’ bullshit. Yeah, this plate is for them.

Whore breakfast set

Purchase here : Trixiedelicious’s Shop
Price : $40
Note : One particular game I got killed by the rockets once. Then I went a different route and got killed by the rockets again. Then every single time I spawned I got killed by the same rocket guy. Regardless of what direction I went, I instantly ran smack into him. He always had a fresh one ready for me; he must have been camping the reloads as well. Oh yes, he was a rocket whore. And this set is for him.

TRASH oval plate

Purchase here : Trixiedelicious’s Shop
Price : $25
Note : This goes to the other team. That is all.

Trixiedelicious has lots of neat items and is always putting up new products as well. Not all of her stuff is as over the line as the ones I posted. Some are harmless but just as cute (like this geek, dork, and nerd set) plus she does custom orders as well. These would make a great gift for your friend that uses these terms on a frequent basis when gaming. I can imagine nothing more fun than an entire dining room wall full of these.