Real Life Bowling vs. Wii Bowling

I had a date last Thursday night. Our exchange when discussing our plans went as follows :

Him : So, what do you want to do on Thursday night?
Me : Anything is fine.
Him : Fine, I’ll take you bowling.

Let me interrupt for a brief moment. I am just a tiny bit high maintenance. And by a tiny bit I mean a whole lot. So he expected my response back to be negative with an actual suggestion of what I really wanted to do. Instead, this is what happened :

Me : (pondering) Ok. Sounds fun.
Him : (confused) What?

I have been playing bowling on the Wii and I am actually doing pretty good. He tried to backpedal and talk me into something else, but my mind was made up. We were going bowling and I was going to put all my Wii practice to use in real life. I should say that in my entire 31 years of existence, I have bowled once and that was over 15 years ago. I didn’t feel at a disadvantage though. I had been practicing hard on the Wii and had finally gotten a good technique down. I was confident it would translate into real life. I made two goals for my evening of bowling. The first one was to improve throughout the night and continue to get a higher score with each game. Second, I wanted to use a pink bowling ball. Here is my experience with real life bowling vs. Nintendo Wii bowling.

Reality #1 – The ball doesn’t go where you want it to go

On the Wii you line your person up, throw the ball, and it goes where you aim. Apparently it is not so easy in real life. I carefully looked each and every time where I wanted the ball to end up. I wasn’t going for a fancy curve ball like the guy on my left. I wasn’t attempting to get a strike like the girl on my right. I just wanted to hit something. I always aimed for the middle, carefully keeping my eye on the center pin as I did my approach. Let’s just say that strategy didn’t work. Although I aimed for that center pin, 99% of the time it drifted to the right straight into the gutter. What. The. Hell. I looked at the center pin and aimed carefully! It should have hit it by my account. Dumb ball.

Reality #2 – An actual bowling ball is heavier than the Wii remote

I can play several games of Wii bowling in a row without getting tired. However about my third game in, my thumb started to get a blister and my arm was beginning to ache. I also started to perspire a bit on the fifth or sixth game. Lugging that heavy ball around is not for the faint hearted. It may have been pink, but it was still heavy. They should make them lighter than eight pounds. I could have probably thrown it with better accuracy if it wasn’t so freakin’ heavy. Stupid bowling.

Reality #3 – I bowl the same way I play Halo

When I play Halo, I have a horrible habit I haven’t been able to break : I always have to end on a good game. It doesn’t have to be a win but I do have to have a solid performance before ending my night. Sometimes that means one more game before signing off. Typically it means a whole extra hour while I search for that elusive good game. I was the same way when it came to bowling. We bowled three games at the first alley we went to and then they closed. I wasn’t done yet! So we drove about 30 minutes up north to another alley that keeps later hours. We bought three games and I was ready. Except for game six was a particularly bad one. I may have accidentally dropped the f-bomb a few times. So game six wraps up and I am not a happy camper. I refuse to end on that. That is not the way I roll. I send him to the counter to buy another game and off we go again. Yes, it was after 1 am. Yes, we were both sweaty and exhausted. But I was not going out like that. Thankfully game seven went much better so we could be in bed before dawn.

All in all I had a great evening. The very first game I bowled I got a 51. The very last game I got an 84. There was solid improvement throughout the night which was the main thing I wanted to accomplish. Goal #1? Check check. I also found a pink ball, believe it or not. I scoured all around the alley looking for one and I finally found it off in the corner. Goal #2? Check check. The evening was a success.

Oh, one more thing. I have decided I need a custom Halo bowling ball. I either want one with a pink Spartan painted on it or I want a clear one with a Master Chief figure inside. I’m not sure I can go bowling again before I have that.