Female gamers have a complicated reputation. We tend to get certain comments said to us over and over and over. Some people treat us as goddesses, others see us as the scum of the earth. The minority view us as simply gamers, which is actually all most female gamers want. Many of us (myself included) simply want to game. We don’t want to be treated differently, we don’t want to be treated better, we don’t want to be treated worse. We just want to be treated the same. As an equal. Because a gamer is a gamer, regardless of which gender we are, right?
Unfortunately there are some bad apples out there in the female gaming population (as there are in any absolutely group) that manage to single handedly ruin the reputation of female gamers. These are the top three mistakes I see female gamers making that hurts the image of all of us. Girls doing these things just need to stop and handle themselves in a more mature manner. Perhaps then we will be seen in a more positive light.
Female Gamer Mistake #1 : Saying “You just got beat by a girl” after a game
This is one of my own little pet peeves. These words have never, ever come out of my mouth and I can guarantee you they never will. When a female says something like this, they are attracting attention to their gender instead of their skill level. If you won, perhaps you should give yourself some credit for it instead of vocalizing that you are a female. All you are doing is downplaying your victory and distracting them from your win, which really makes no sense. Girls saying this are simply looking for a reaction. Sometimes knowing you came out on top without having to say anything is good enough. If you have to call attention to it, you probably didn’t deserve it.
One of my most satisfying moments on Xbox Live was a game of Rumble Pit on Halo 2 about a year ago. Our room was full with eight participants. A few seconds before the game loaded, a female gamer in the lobby said, “Ready to get beat by a girl bitches?”. Of course the males in the room started complaining and talking trash throughout the entire game with the female player egging them on. I remained silent and simply played. When the clock had run down, I was the winner by a handful of kills. What did I want to say to her? “You obviously were ready to get beat by a girl, huh?” What did I say instead? “Good game.”
Being a female has nothing to do with a victory. Step above that and let your win speak for itself.
Female Gamer Mistake #2 : Giggling and flirting the whole game instead of actually playing
If you are going to play a game, then play it. Nothing irritates me more than being stuck with people (whether they are on your team or they are your opponents) who don’t play the game the way it is intended to be played. That includes people who suicide the whole time, people who don’t play the objective, people that sit in the corner and talk while ignoring the actual game, all of that.
Having a girl use the “strategy” of giggling and hitting on guys during a game is utterly ridiculous. If you are not going to play the game, then don’t play the game. Having to listen to flirting and giggling all over the team chat line while trying to focus on the game at hand is annoying. If you want to find yourself a boyfriend, perhaps you should use a dating service instead. That is what everybody is there for and you have a higher chance of being successful. Xbox Live is for gaming. So game already.
Female Gamer Mistake #3 : Picking on other female gamers
I cannot even tell you how many games I have played where there has been another female in the room that has immediately started insulting me simply because I am the same gender. Some of the most offensive comments with the most vulgar language have come out of other females mouths I am embarrassed to say. Any time that happens, it just makes me cringe. It’s bad enough that the male gamers pick on us, but do the female gamers have to pick on each other as well?
I am not going to start preaching that we all need to stick together or anything cheesy like that. I will say that females shouldn’t pick on other females simply because they are threatened by having another one around. We are all there to play, so just play. Cut the trash talking and attacking of other female players. All you succeed in doing is making yourself look catty and immature.
When female gamers simply start being gamers, then perhaps we will make some headway with our reputation. If you want to game, why don’t you do just that? Game. That is what a gamer is. Someone who simply games.
Posted by Silvercube on July 27, 2007 at 1:44 am
I liked this article alot.
Although i must say i treat women a teensy bit nicer than men lol.. but im a nice person anyways, so either way, you’ll be fine^_^
Some girls can also be very annoying… especially if they whine and complain… that gets aggravating.
But overall, men vs women on chances id encounter on xbl: men are waayyy more annoying in my opinion.. 10 to 1 ratio. Its just their voices sometimes that creep me out- who ever said a very masculine voice is what a man is supposed to sound like? Factor in the voice w/ the trash talking, and you got a recipe for me wanting to leave the game asap.
Posted by Zoom on July 27, 2007 at 2:04 am
I agree with points 1, 2, and 3! It bugs when I am in a party and someone in OUR party mentions to the other team that “you just got beat by 2 girls!” Seriously, no one cares. #2 bugs me a lot too! Pretty much anyone NOT playing and just having a conversation bugs me though.
Posted by bs angel on July 27, 2007 at 2:12 am
Thanks Silver!
You are so right Zoomy. I also don’t like it when someone in my party uses that line. If I don’t say it, I certainly don’t want someone else to say it for me!
Posted by TTL Dren on July 27, 2007 at 2:33 am
Yeah I just hate it when I am playing and the girls are just giggling and talking about their blinged out phone. Wait what? :-P
Girls shouldnt have the need to stoop to the Timmy’s level. If you won the game. Its more then not that it was a team effort. Unless your are doing Rumble Pit. Have fun and play the game. Dont worry about the crap that Timmy says. He still has to ask his Mom to drive him every where. :-D
Dren
Posted by johpan on July 27, 2007 at 12:22 pm
I agree with your arguments but I can’t say I’ve ever run into these problems. First off, I’m male. Secondly, I practically grew up around females (I have an older sister and most cousins around my age are female) and we’d game when we were younger (or just Guitar Hero now… lol) and if one of us got pwned, we just say… omg you got pwned. They never flaunted their gender around like that so whenever I got pwned by women, I’d just be like… oh well :) and pass the controller to whoever was next in line.
Posted by bs angel on July 27, 2007 at 12:36 pm
That’s exactly the way it should be! Awesome story. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Gringo on July 27, 2007 at 2:44 pm
LOL, 100 per cent true! :) Last time I played Def Jam with my girlfriend and before (and while, too!) a fight she kept saying that she will certainly loose which irritated me a lot… because I played as a total idiot to give her more chances to win. And she won every single fight :P
—
http://grrr.pl
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Posted by Queen 0f Blades on August 1, 2007 at 1:29 pm
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been picked on by another girl. But I guess it’s because I can’t tell the difference between the voice of a girl and the voice of a young boy. Hell, people tell me all the time they thought I was just a little boy (despite the gamertag beginning Queen…). Then I get the whole “OMG ur a fag becuz your name is Queen,” and then I’m like “Dude, I’m not gay” and then my friend IRL is usually like “Dude, she’s a girl, don’t be a dick…”
I’m ranting, sorry. >.<
But I agree with you wholeheartedly. The giggling thing drives me INSANE. I don’t understand it. I mean, what the hell is so funny? Why are you giggling? Shut up, please, and focus on the carnage.
~Crimm
Posted by bs angel on August 1, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Ranting is fine! That is why I felt inspired to write this article in the first place, LOL … I enjoy hearing other female perspectives.
Posted by Seanf on August 7, 2007 at 8:35 pm
I enjoyed reading this. I appreciate a lot of the views i have found on here. I just have to add in some of my thoughts of course… Girl gamers are going to run into when they play online games, simply because most men are used to playing with other men or boys. One of the base problems is right there, and in time i think this time will abate itself as more and more men get used to playing with female gamers. Just keep in there all you girls and get the job done..but of course have fun doing it!
Posted by Roflwaffle on August 14, 2007 at 12:38 am
You are such an inspiration! I choose to ignore the attention most pay to gender in gaming, but damn, you’re right!
I guess I don’t know that many other women gamers but if I met one doing these things I would be irritated as well.
I’ll be keeping up with your posts from now on, especially after reading your pure pwng responce to that white samurai jerk or w/e his handle was.
Posted by BKP on September 24, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Hmm… You make some good points for the first point.
I mean, I can see where you’re coming from, yet I’m still really don’t get why you think that’s an issue.
If you wanna say it just to show that we shouldn’t be underestimated, then why is that a problem?
Though, I mean… I would only say that if a guy didn’t take me seriously as a gamer. But when battling other guys who treat me with respect, I wouldn’t ever say that.
I haven’t ever seen a girl react that way for both points 2 and 3. Why would they? It sounds as if those girls are more like your average preps in high school rather than a “gamer”.
Posted by bs angel on September 24, 2007 at 4:40 pm
I suppose I see it as a problem because it continues to categorize us as “female gamers” rather than simply a gamer anytime a female says, “You just got beat by a girl”. When that comment is made, it puts us in a separate group. Eventually we will all just be gamers without a thought given to gender. At least I hope.
And your points for 2 and 3 are spot on. Thinking back on the more memorable times I have been trashtalked by a female simply for being a female, they certainly sounded high school age. Been there, done that! And I don’t wish to go back. LOL!
Thanks for sharing your opinion. Very well said.
Posted by BKP on October 2, 2007 at 8:01 am
Ohhh… I see. That’s a very good point. I’m glad you clarified what you said, because I was really confused on why you did think that was an issue. Us female gamers should NEVER be put in a seperate group! :P We’re equal to men, so that should never be a problem. And not to mention, we’ve fought long and hard to get our rights, so we’re all equal! ^_^
Yep. The fact they just trashtalk you shows how immature they are as a gamer. I know my gamer guy friends are mature enough to smile and shake hands with me and say: “Good game”, if either of us wins. You know, I always thought that girls would be the more intelligent of the gender, sicne our emotions tend to grow faster and we tend to mature faster than guys. I guess that’s not always the case.
Quick question. I saw this on a Digg article: http://funnyimagedump.com/art/fullview/Female_Gamers.jpg
Do you kind of take offense to that, since you are female gamer?
Thanks a ton for replying! :D
Posted by bs angel on October 2, 2007 at 9:38 am
I think in general there are so many different types of people. There are awesome people, sucky people, brilliant people, stupid people, kind people, rude people, caring people, selfish people, amazing people, ignorant people, just such a wide range of characteristics. And you will find all of those kinds of people no matter how you categorize, whether it be by gender, age, etc.
I have seen that image as well! It is always floating around the internet somewhere. People seem to rediscover it every day. I don’t take offense to it personally. First, the people who are at fault are whoever set up the shoot. If the console would have been placed at a different angle, the fact that it wasn’t plugged in could have been hidden. If I were to blame anybody, it would be the person who placed the console that way, the person who took the picture from that angle, and whoever approved it without paying attention to the smaller details. That picture makes me laugh, whoever captioned it did a good job. For every picture out there that portrays female gamers in that light, I am sure there is one that shows male portrayed in a stupid fashion as well. Just the female ones get the spotlight more it seems.
What are your thoughts on that picture?
Posted by BKP on October 2, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Well, yeah. Generally, there will be people like that. There can be some seperate catgories for each, unique person. But yeah. Only judge people by who they are, what they do, and the characteristics they have. But also be sure to recognize some good in a person, because nobody is 100% prep, or 100% evil, you know? We’re all a mixture of categories.
When I first saw that picture, I was offended. Of course, that was just my first glance. Mainly because when I found it on Digg, the title of the article was basically: “Female Gamers (Pic)” and there was nothing else to it. When I first saw it, I was kind of angered by whoever took and did the picture.
To me, it looked as if they were putting us in a sterotype, saying that girls are dumb and we think that we are “gamers” when we really aren’t. We’re just the type that pretends to game, just so we can hook up with cute guys or something.
However, you could say the picture can apply to me. I think in some ways I’m a “gamer” because I go on Digg now, practically daily and try to stay up to date with Nintendo and I love playing all sorts of video games on my Wii.
I admit, I’m not extremely hardcore with gaming. I’m not that kind of gamer that spends eight hours a day on WoW, or plays Halo 3 at every opportunity I get. So the term “gamer” might not apply to me.
Of course, the term “gamer” might vary from person to person. I really don’t know what kind of category or label you could put me in… but neither do I really care. In general, I’m a mixture of all sorts of things.
… I apologize for going off with thoughts on other things, unrelated to the topic. I may have ADD, according to what my mother says. :P
Posted by crystalicios on October 2, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Duudette! seriously… I love this! I always get one thing or another. When I was a wee child (six or so) I remember beating one of my brother’s friends, and my brother saying proudly (He introduced me to videogames, and taught me my stuff) “Oooh! You just got beat by a giiirl!” I remember being very proud about it… But later on I realized that that comment was so sexist.
And I hate when girls flirt with guys while playing. You have no idea how PO’d I get when I’m trying to play a good game of Super Smash Bros. with a person whose level in my skill and a girl who knows nothing about gaming is distracting him. Its annoying! She’s just interrupting our game!
And as for number 3… I’ve never even heard of that last one, but it sounds ludicrous. Usually (and yeah, sometimes I like rubbing in salt in wounds) I comment on how I’m so awesome at gaming… But since I’m the only hardcore girl gamer in my school (Who really likes videogaming for what it is, and not because it’s the newest cool thing or a new way to meet guys) I can’t vouch for it. So yeah. :|
I love your thoughts on this though!
Posted by BKP on October 2, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Quick other note:
I saw this article: http://www.gunslot.com/blog/top-ten-10-women-video-games/
Do you think this is a reasonable list of Top 10 Female Characters of video gaming?
I saw this… And I thought whoever wrote this should be shot. :P
Tell me what you thought, please? If it isn’t too much… ^^;
Posted by bs angel on October 4, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I actually am not familiar enough with the majority of those characters to have a decent opinion. It’s definitely an interesting list. I’m not sure I understood the criteria for making the list (physical appearance seemed to be one of the factors?).
Posted by Florence Elsley on November 7, 2007 at 3:52 pm
OMG I need to catch up on a lot of your blogs…I saw this post about 3 common mistakes of Female Gamers and I was cracking up! I see these all the time when I play Socom and in a male oriented game like Halo, Socom etc…female gamers tend to be so immature like “oh you got beat by a girl” I’m like…common!! Who the heck cares! And flirting instead of playing…it’s not “match.com: the video game” girls! Please!! That irritates the living daylights out of me! And your #3… I’ve experienced that many many MANY times in SOCOM and ughh!! That’s all I can say about that part LOL. Nice post angel :)
Posted by Babykoalaprincess on November 18, 2007 at 8:10 pm
I apologize for not responding sooner.
I love talking to you about female gamer stuff! :D
And yes, exactly. That what I noticed in the list, which I was very angered about. Whoever wrote it seemed to base off physical appearances as opposed to character and stuff.
It’s a half decent list. I admit, I’m a fan of Chun-Li, Samus Aran, and Joanna Dark.
But whatever happened to all of those other kick ass females that didn’t appear on the list and don’t have tits? Such as Claire Redfield, Ada Wong, Princess Zelda, Aeris, Tifa, Kairi, or maybe even Rinoa Heartilly?
Those sorts of female characters would make my top female character list. What about you? What sort of female characters would you have? ^^;;
Posted by Lara on January 28, 2008 at 6:28 pm
I really enjoy your blog. I am a female gamer (and self confessed Halo addict) who notices these things with female gamers. I’d love to meet some women who are actually playing games because they like it, rather than to prove other guys that they’re cool/equal/sexy, etc.
I have been looking for other girls who play video games to talk to, but most of the females I’ve encountered on Halo seem to suffer from the symptoms you mentioned.
Anyway, if you’re a chick (or even a guy) who wants to play some Halo together sometime, my gamertag is missanthropy20.
Posted by Miss M0lly on July 5, 2009 at 5:12 am
Oi, I’ll add you. :D
Posted by tenieldjo on June 22, 2008 at 12:50 am
I’m a female gamer, and have been since I was old enough to hold a joystick. :) Though I usually just don’t plug the mic in when I play halo, I DO have problems when people assume I’m a guy just because I’m doing well. I know that when people refer to me as “he” “him” “guy” it’s just basing it on the odds of what gender I am, and not assuming I’m a guy because I’m doing well, but when I’m at LAN parties it becomes less excusable. I’m right there! So, when someone yells out “Damnit, Tick killed me again, who is this guy?” I have a tendency to throw a reflexive and slightly annoyed “Girl!” out, and point out that there are several in the room, thank you very much! I don’t think it should count as #1 on the list if you’re just clarifying :3
Posted by atheistium on December 14, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I’m surprised other girls give you hassle. Run I do run into other girls I find them to be overly nice. I be nice back of course but they usually make a big deal about us being female and feel the need to be super nice to me…
I don’t get it :(
Posted by Waffle Deluxe on February 21, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I’ve got a fourth one, not making me a sammich.
Posted by ebaumsworld on April 29, 2009 at 10:49 am
The male’s first mistake was letting the female out of the kitchen in the first place
Posted by Miss M0lly on July 5, 2009 at 5:11 am
I gotta admit, I lol’ed.
:]
Posted by damzl on June 24, 2009 at 5:04 pm
agree
agree
agree!
Posted by Miss M0lly on July 5, 2009 at 5:10 am
It’s true.
All three.
I can’t stand it when I finally get into a party (my system takes forever to load stuff) and Theres a girl there and suddenly she just starts calling me a bitch / whore / ect.
I’m a mellow person though I don’t care too much and keep playing.
I agree I’m a flirt, But I don’t do it unless I actually know the person in real life.
And I’ve honestly never muttered those vile words either, I get enough crap from guys already – I don’t need to draw attention to my gender…
~Love Molly~
Posted by Sabrina on July 13, 2009 at 6:59 pm
haha.. I am one of those not so real gamers then I guess. I love it when guys talk shit to me, and then I own them.. I love it when people on my team says, you got beaten by a girl.. i never say it.. it’s a bit to lame.. like having “Yes, I am a girl” on the xbl profile..
And the part of alot of guys hatin on females, well they hate alot on each other to.. instead of calling you a fucking faggot or gay, they use what they can.. a girl! “You’re a disgrace to females” .. “you’re fat” hahaha I love that one “ure fat” <3 <3
Well, I guess I'm just a provocing daughter of a bitch
SAYONARA
Posted by Non on August 27, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Great article!
I started playing Left4Dead when it came out. My first FPS, but I really enjoyed it and started doing pretty well after some practice.
My boyfriend noticed and said I should get really good and join an all-girls team. And that’s the thing right there. I know he didn’t mean anything bad by it, but the fact that he automatically thought “girl’s team” and not just a team is the kind of mentality that needs to change in the gaming world.
The whole concept of girl’s team only promotes the “you got beat by a girl” issue.
Win or lose, it’s not because I’m female, it’s how well I play and how good my opponent is.
Posted by Sara on October 26, 2009 at 12:40 pm
I agree with this article 100 percent I really feel like it was me writing this article I am a very quiet person, just as much as I game, I do talk trash to friends but it is for simple fun and I never mention my gender in the process, I also get annoyed with people flirting when it comes to gaming, and I also get irritated with other female gamers who try to down grade me or be a show off, but in the end it all matters to skill, my silence always wins and for some reason silence pisses other people off even more, stay silent and look classy you will always end up at the top.